Bad Fluffy Names Part 3 [by Maple]

Part 3: Common Names

You are Luna, and you’re a good fluffy!

In fact, you’re such a good fluffy that your daddy took you to day care! He said you get to play all day while he’s at “work” now, instead of being alone at home. He says it’s because you “made a mess” and “have separation anxiety” but you know it’s because you’re a good fluffy. Daddeh just has a weird way of saying it sometimes!

The nice lady sets you down in the pen of the most wonderful toys you’ve ever seen! There are balls and blocks and dollies and stuffies and even a slide! You’ve seen a slide at the park, and daddeh said it was too big for fluffies to play on. But this one is fluffy sized, and blue! Just like you!

“Hewwo!” A purple wingie filly next to you says. “Wan pway?”

How did she know?! You love to play!! “Yus! Fwuffy am Wuna!”

Your new purple friend gasps. “Whaaaa? Fwuffy am Wuna? But fwuffy’s name Wuna too!”

That’s AMAZING. She’s just like you! She must be your best friend! Or your sister. You’d have to ask daddeh. “Wuna wuv Wuna!” The two of you rush to hug, then scamper off to play with a ball. It was so much fun to play with someone just like you! She was the best! And while you were playing something ELSE amazing happened!

“Baww! Fwuffy pway baww too?” A black filly asked you two.

“Yus! Fwuffy am Wuna, and udda fwuffy am Wuna too!” You say, and the other fluffy’s eyes go wide.

“Buh… Fwuffy am Wuna too!”

How wonderful! Another Luna to play with!!

“Wuna wuv Wuna! Cum pway with Wuna an Wuna!” Luna cheers, and the three of you play a long game of kicky ball while other fluffies arrive. You don’t talk to any of them, you’re having too much fun with Luna and Luna. Luna is really good at kicking the ball, it goes so far! And when you play huggy tag, Luna gave you the bestest hugs! You eventually all fall into a sleepy pile together, exhausted from your games.

After your nap, the nice lady from the desk brought back some new friends. “Hi girls! Play nice with these two, I’ll have your snack ready in just a second.” She set down two more fillies, a monochrome dark grey pointy and a white and orange wingie fluffy.

“Hewwo! Am Wiwwy! Dis sissy Wuna!” The white filly yells, gesturing with a hoof to the grey filly trying to hide behind her wing.

“Fwuffy am Wuna too!” Luna says.

“Fwuffy nu Wuna, dat sissy’s namsies!” Lilly replied, confused.

“Nu, Wiwwy dat fwuffy’s namsies too! And fwuffy’s! And oddah fwuffy’s!” You explained, pointing to each fluffy.

The grey unicorn smiled shyly, stepping out from behind her sister. “Wuna wike oddah Wunas.” The other Lunas cheered, happy to have another in their ranks.

“Can Wiwwy pway with Wunas?” Lilly asked.

“Hmmm…” Luna said. “Nu kno, yu nu Wuna.”

“Buh…” Lilly looked worriedly as her sister joined the herd of Lunas. “Wan pway! Wunas make Wiwwy Wuna too?”

“Otay!” You say, going over and setting a hoof on her shoulder. “Fwuffy am Wuna nao!” The Lunas cheered, and your playtime began anew. At one point another fluffy came over and wanted to play, so you named her Luna too! And then that Luna named another fluffy Luna! By the time the nice desk lady came out with the snack plates, the majority of the pen was calling themself Luna.

“Snack time!” She called, setting down tiny plastic plates with a celery stick covered in peanut butter on each one. “Can Strawberry come up here please, your mummah wants you to have a different snack today.” As she set them down, a fluffy would claim it and start to eat. After they were all set out, she only had the alternate snack left. “Strawberry? Are you strawberry?” She asked the green filly before her.

“Nu, am Wuna.” She replied. “Hab snackies pwease?”

“Uh… sure.” She set down the plate with the almond butter covered crackers. “I must have gotten the wrong pen. I’ll make another.” She left you and the other fluffies to your crunching. It was the bestest snack you had ever had! You hoped that daddy took you to daycare all the time so you could have this again!

While you savored your snack, a small squabble broke out between two of the Lunas.

“Nu! Nu take Wuna’s snack!” One Luna cried.

“Dis Wuna’s nummies! It on Wuna’s pwate!” The other replied, and then each of their friends started calling the other a meanie, and before you knew it everyone was yelling. Including you. How dare Luna take Luna’s snack? That belonged to Luna! You and Luna and Luna and Luna started yelling at Luna and Luna, and then Luna stomped on Luna’s pretty tail!

Thankfully the nice desk lady came back at this point. “Whats going on in here?”

Luna put her hooves up on the side of the pen. “Wuna eat Wuna’s snack!” She pointed at the pair, still staring each other down and snorting in anger.

“What?” The nice lady said, confused.

You begin to explain to the lady. “Wuna say Wuna eat Wuna’s snack, and Wuna say nu, so Wuna yelled at Wuna and den-”

“Please stop.” The nice lady held up her hand. Did you do something wrong? You hoped not.

She pointed at one of the angry pair. “What is your name?”

“Wuna.” She said.

“And yours?”

“Wuna!” The other said.

“Ohchristalmighty.” She said quietly. What a funny word! “And you, red one in the back, what’s your name?”

“Namesie am Wuna nice wady!” She chirped.

The nice lady put her head in her hands. “Oh god this is a mess. Okay uh…” she looked at the fighting fluffies. “You two are best friends.” The fillies look at each other for a second, then cheer and hug. You’re so glad the nice lady fixed it! You get to go back to your snack while the lady goes out into the hallway. You hear bits of her talking to someone, something about “putting too many in the same pen” and “it happening again”. What was happening again? You didn’t know. Hopefully something fun!

After you eat the nice lady comes back with a pile of papers. She starts flipping through them while you all go back to playing. Sometimes she calls a fluffies name, but no one knows who’s name it is. And then she grabbed a fluffy and started insisting her name was Milly! But her name was Luna! Milly is a silly name! You all kept telling the nice lady that her name was Luna but she didn’t listen! It got kinda scary when the lady got real mad and yelled, but then another lady showed up!

“Hi fluffies! I’m here for Luna, your daddy is here to pick you up!” She said, with your daddy behind her. You were so excited, he came to get you away from the angry desk lady!

The desk lady jumped up, the pile of papers falling off her lap. “No, please don’t-”

“Das nu Wuna’s daddeh!” The Luna next to you yelled, with a handful more responding in kind.

“Das Wuna’s daddeh!” You yelled back at them. “Eep!” The nice desk lady suddenly picked you up and roughly shoved you into your daddeh’s arms.

“Just go,” she said, “one less for me to sort.” She sounded so tired. Maybe she needed a nap!

Daddeh was real quiet on the way to the car, and on the drive home. You told him about your day anyway, about Luna and Luna and how you met Luna and how Luna’s name was also Luna, and about Luna and Luna fighting over their snack.

You can’t wait to go see all the Lunas tomorrow!


One of the times I took my cat to the vet, I commented on how cute it was that they refered to her with my last name. The vet tech explained that they had 16 dogs named Luna going to the clinic at the time, so to tell them apart they had to use last names. She sounded very tired.


sometimes story ideas just write themselves


How stupidly, endearingly, and yet annoyingly innocent! You nailed it.