As the Pillowfluffs R Happy Fluffs hour took one of its many commercial breaks on Fluff TV, an announcer started blaring over images of a sad pillow, riddled with bedsores on its stomach.
“We all know that pillowfluffs are happy fluffs, but bedsores can be a real issue for them, being unable to run and play and give huggies! But who has the time to keep rotating your pillowfluff? Meet the Bedsore-B-Gone!”
The image changed from the crying pillowfluff to the same fluffy smiling above its bed, cradled in a device with four arms. Two arms lift the fluffy on the stomach, while the other two gently hold the fluffy’s back.
“Wuv huggies!!!” the fluffy exclaimed, with dialogue quickly devolving into happy babble.
“The patented four-prong system keeps your fluffy in place. Just slide in the safety bolt—”
At this point, the fluffy’s audio is inconspicuously muted as its eyes go wide.
“—and turn it on, and your fluff will never face the heartache of bedsores again!”
The fluffy then starts to slowly rotate above its bed, and the creature starts wriggling.
“In addition, the rotation allows for stump movement, alleviating another problem for pillowfluffs—exercise! Now your fluffy can get exercise similar to running without having to go anywhere or hurt its stumps. The Bedsore-B-Gon promotes good cardiovascular health, making sure your pillowfluff can be your friend for a good, long time!”
At this point, a small-print disclaimer appears, reading, “Bedsore-B-Gone is not intended for use with with tall bedding. Use with tall bedding can result in irritation, baldness, and scarring. Bedsore-B-Gone is not responsible for bruising, dizziness, vertigo, nausea in fluffy ponies. Not for 24-hour use.”
The cheerful announcer comes back, “Get Bedsore-B-Gon for your pillowfluff today! And also look for our hot-plate enabled model, Rotiss-a-Fluff at your local dealer, today!”