"Bird-Brained" by NobodyAtAll

It’s a peaceful day in Blueberry’s Forest, as it is now called by those who live in and near it.

Pierre is tending to his dodos. He decided that, now that he’s retired, he should get a hobby, and he had already cloned some dodos, so he decided to start breeding them. Pierre said that “There’s no better way to spend one’s golden years than reviving an extinct species.”

Fucking Pierre.

It’s the perfect place for the stupid little meals on legs. This forest has ample resources and minimal predators. The latter is especially true after the Cabal and the ChaotiX began protecting the place.

A pack of wolves ran as fast as they could, far away from the forest, when Calvin, wreathed in flames, appeared out of thin air while the pack was en route to Blueberry’s Brownie Palace for a snack run, and silently gave them a look that even the wolves knew said “I fucking dare you.”

That’s what the warren is now called. The fluffies have dug out a few more rooms, with help from their hoomin friends.

And then there’s the eagle who was diving towards the fluffies to get lunch, but was scared off by Dave and Slayer in demon form. Dave had never seen an eagle do a 180 mid-dive before.

Roland “Rocky” Rhoades, who has the power of terrakinesis, did a lot of the work during the Palace’s expansion. He likes to show off, as does his fluffy Terra. All Pierre did was make sure all the rooms and tunnels wouldn’t collapse, and provide some more of his patented Herd-Lights, the spherical lights that run on solar power and can be turned on or off with three taps of a hoof.

Roland’s nickname is due to a bet he won in college: eat ten tubs of Rocky Road ice cream in one sitting. Roland loves Rocky Road.

Terra showed off by erecting a statue of Blueberry outside the Brownie Palace’s entrance with a few waves of her hoof, and placing proper gravestones in the Fluffy Graveyard.

Pierre and the Fondas are ensuring that the graves remain undisturbed.

The point is, if a herd of fluffies can thrive in a place like this, so can dodos, because they are, frankly, just as stupid and vulnerable as fluffies are, generally speaking. Really, the only thing fluffies have over dodos is that fluffies taste terrible, at least to humans. You’d have to be desperate, a degenerate, or a demon to stand the taste. Or, in the case of Chris and James Oldman, all three.

Though Pierre hopes that he and his friends can change that. That is, the part about both species being stupid and vulnerable.


Blueberry’s Fluffy Cartel is now one of the few herds left in the forest. And it’s still the biggest herd.

The second biggest herd, who has long ousted the black smarty who blew the brownie deal, has been happily doing business with Blueberry’s herd. They get brownies, the Fluffy Cartel gets golden berries. Nobody gets fucked like the black smarty did.

The forest’s population was, however, recently bumped up with some new immigrants, seeking out a new life in the land of opportunity.

First, there’s the herd who lived on the streets of Rio de Janeiro with Branca, the orphan girl who can walk through walls. She’s doing very well at Dr. Pierre Faucheuse’s School for Gifted Individuals, she’s learning to speak English, and she’s still free to visit the herd whenever she pleases. Danny considers her the little sister he never had, and he and Reilly both adore her, as do Ghost and Mayday. Mayday is also seeing her family, Calvin’s fluffies, frequently, as is Breezie, Gus the aerokinetic’s fluffy.

Branca’s herd settled in nicely. They’re grateful that they get to live in such a nice forest, instead of living on the streets in a country where most people can’t understand English, let alone Fluffspeak. They’re also happy that Branca’s doing well. They knew her story.

Then there’s the other new herd: the fluffies Dave had been breeding, so he could use their bodily waste as fertilizer.

Now that Dave is a fully fledged breeder, he’s been gifted with Flufftopia quality breeding fluffies by the Faucheuse family, who were all too happy to help Dave stop being such an asshole, and provide him with whatever he needs. The diet Dave has been feeding his fluffies to make their waste better fertilizer turned out to actually be very nutritious for fluffies. Deston is now in talks with Dave about co-writing a book about Dave’s experiences.

His old fluffies were relocated to the forest, and, after an adjustment period, settled in just fine too. They’re happy that nobody gets stomped on anymore. Dave had to scare off another eagle that wanted one of them for dinner.

The eagles in the area got the hint after that.

Slayer’s special friend, Beatrice, stayed with the Weissmans. She’s had the foals.

None of their foals have demonic powers.


And the Fondas are doing alright, too.

Moonflower’s still happy and healthy. Maria’s changing her diaper right now.

Tommy is sitting on the veranda with Blueberry, Woodstock and Wakko, occasionally passing the atomica to one of them.

They’ve also got a Boneless Bucket from KFC, and Tommy hands each of them a piece every now and then.

Blueberry called a meeting with the entire herd so Tommy could show them all how to num chikkin nummies without going forever sleepies.

To the fluffies, this was the equivalent of being shown how to handle radioactive waste barehanded, without getting cancer.

But they got the hang of it. One thing the old smarty got right was that chikken nummies are the bestest nummies.

Nobody’s choked to death, other than that fat puke green turd.

Seventy-six lives and counting. The stubborn little bastard refuses to learn his lesson.

Yin-Yang shows up, with a bruise on his face.

“Yo, Yin-Yang! What happened, dude?”

“Sum fwuffy fwom da big wawa hewd. Dummeh twy tu wob bwownie woom awone. Ha. Yin-Yang say tu dummeh, wen bwains bein giben owt, dummeh wuz wast in wine.”

Aaaah. The herd that lives near the lake has been trouble, lately.

“Yewwow fwuff, wed mainie an taiwie, an wed see-pwaces tuu. Dewe bitsies of yewwow fwuff neaw bwownie woom, smeww jus wike him. Yin-Yang awweady say tu tuffies, wotch owt fow dat dummeh. Yin-Yang awweady say tu tuffies, gu teww ovva hewds, wet dem knu. Yin-Yang am tuu owd fow dis poopies.”

Yeah, Yin-Yang is essentially the herd’s Chief of Police now.

Tommy holds his hand over the bruise, and the white light coming out of his hand heals it.

Then he offers Yin-Yang a puff of the atomica.

“Yin-Yang pik wong bwite time tu kwit.”

He gratefully accepts it.


In the distance, the Death of Fluffies watches Pierre, the Fondas, and Blueberry’s herd, accompanied by… someone else.

He turns to his companion.

GUD TU SEE YU BACK AWN DOO-TEE, DEATH OF DUDUS. DEATH OF FWUFFIES MISSED YU.

The Death of Dodos replies.

WARK.

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