(Victoria and Josef are OCs belonging to @BFM101. This story is not canon unless he says so.)
Biscuit was so happy! He’d been adopted! His new mummah had even named him: Biscuit! Biscuit was the luckiest babbeh ever!
And now he was in his new home! It was so warm! His new mummah Victoria had brought him into the kitchen and put him down…with a bunch of other babbehs!
One of the other babbehs trotted up to him.
“Hewwo! Be nyu fwiend?”
“Yes! Wub nyu fwiend! Babbeh’s namesies am Biscuit!”
“Hao yu no babbehs namesies am Biscuit?”
Biscuit was confused.
“Am Biscuit.”
The other foal shook his head.
“Nu. Biscuit am babbeh’s namesies.”
Another foal noticed.
“Nu, babbeh am Biscuit!”
A light blue pegasus with a yellow man stomped his hoofs and puffed his cheeks.
“BESTEST BABBEH AM ONWY WUN NAMEDSIES BISCUIT!!!”
Soon the rest of the foals were all yelling at each other that Biscuit was their name.
Then their mummah came back. And she had another human with her.
“Okay, that’s the last of them. Let’s get them in the oven.”
The foals found themselves picked up and deposited on a baking sheet. They tried to get up and walk on it, but the greased sheet was too slippery and they kept falling.
“Ouchies!”
“Wan wun and pway!! Wai nu can wun!”
“Wai Mummah put babbehs hewe?”
“Hewp! Nu am fwuffy, was tuwned into wun by dat Hoomin!! Sabe me!”
“Babbehs namesies am Biscuit!”
The Biscuits kept babbling until they saw the open oven they were going to be put into. The intense heat and images of ravenous monsters that had been drawn on the inside caused them to start screaming and begging for mercy.
“Mummah hewp babbeh!”
“Nu wan gu in buwnie pwace!”
“Sumhao babbeh awais nu dis wuwd end dis way.”
“Nu wet munstahs num babbeh!”
“HEWP! BABBEH NEED SUMBUDY! HEWP! NOT JUST ANYBUDY! HEWP! YU NO BABBEH NEED SUMWUN! HEWP!”
But their cries fell on deaf ears and the oven door was shut behind them. The heat scorched them, melting them onto the baking sheet.
And even with the horrific burning pain they could hear their mummah talking with the man who was standing with her in his kitchen.
“So this is seriously a magic oven?”
“Yup. It should start in the next minute.”
“I wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but the fact you actually do have a pet dragon convinced me to give it a chance. I thought you were just high off your own product.”
“Nope! I learned magic from my mother. And in this case the magic in this oven will-well you’ll see.”
The foals in the oven could feel their bodies changing. They could still feel the pain, but their flesh wasn’t burning. Instead it was becoming softer, turning into cookie dough.
Later on the transformed foals had finished baking and Izzy pulled the baking sheet out of the oven. On it were fluffies that had been transformed into living cookies. They were self-aware.
Putting the foal cookies onto a baking rack to cool, Izzy pulled out four mugs and set about making tea. Before it was done there was a knock at the door. Victoria walked over and opened it.
At the door was the ghost of Josef Mongala (newly summoned from the afterlife) and Ricky Guerra.
Victoria walked them all to the parlor, where Izzy came back with the tea and living biscuits.
The foals finally realized what was about to happen.
“PWEASE NU NUM BABBEH!”
“Nu wan gu in buwnie wawa!”
“At weast dwink coffee, yu fwuffing wimps!”
“Wawa am bad fow fwuffies!”
Josef broke the silence after dipping a screaming biscuit in his tea and taking an appreciative bite.
“PWEASE NU, BABBEHS NU AM NUMM-”-CRUNCH
The foal biscuit’s scream was cut off as his teeth closed over it’s head.
“Not that I don’t appreciated being spared from eternal punishment, but what is this about?”
Izzy shrugged.
“Ricky wanted you to meet his new girlfriend and necromancy’s not that hard.”
Ricky smirked.
Victoria meanwhile was about to break a leg off her foal.
“NU! NU TAKE BABBEHS WEGGIES! NEED WEGGIES TU WUN AND PWAY!”
Victoria gave a fake comforting smile.
“Really? Tell you what: Go ahead and run and I’ll let you keep your legs.”
The foal biscuit tried to run, but given it’s shape and the fact that it was baked through it failed to.
“I guess you don’t want to keep your legs then.”
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Victoria broke off the foal biscuit’s legs off one at a time as it cried and screaming in pain.
Ricky on the other hand had shoved an entire foal biscuit into his mouth and was pouring his tea directly into his mouth, slowly dissolving the transformed fluffy.
“WAN MUMMAH! HEWP! PWEASE SABE BABBEH!”
After introductions were made and everyone was caught up on what everyone else was doing Josef cleared his throat.
“Since my house is apparently in ruins would any of you mind letting me stay with you?”
Izzy hissed as he realized he’d left out an important detail.
“Oof, I’m really sorry Josef, but I only summoned you back temporarily. If you’d said something sooner I might have been able to do something, but you’ll be pulled back to the afterlife any second now and I won’t be able to bring you back for another month at least.”
Josef’s ghost blinked.
“Wait, wha-”
A flaming portal opened behind him and the horn of the Iniquitous speared through it to pierce Josef right through the spot he’d been fatally stabbed in life.
“DEWE YU AWE, DANCIE DUMMEH! YU HABE SU MANY FWUFFIES TU DU DANCIES FOW AN WE HAB IMPWOBED YU COSTOOM! NAO IT AM EBEN BWIGHTEH AND MOWE FANCEE!”
“NO! NO! NO!”
Josef was dragged kicking and screaming back to Skettiland to resume his eternal damnation.
The Iniquitous then popped his head back out of the portal.
“Am dose cookie nummies?”
“Technically they’re biscuits because the British are bad at naming things.”
“Can Da Iniquitous hab sum?”
“Sure?”
“NU! NU WET MUNSTAH NUM BABBEHS!”
The remaining Biscuits were scooped up by the Iniquitous’s flaming tongue and swallowed whole.
The Iniquitous pulled it’s head back through the portal. Before the portal closed Izzy, Ricky, and Victoria could see Josef being stuffed into the most gaudy, ribbon and buckle-covered, colorful, and all around tacky outfit that could ever exist. It looked like the Teletubbies had run a train on a court jester in an exploding rainbow factory while The Beatles dropped LSD nearby.
Then the portal closed and all that could be heard were the screams of the remaining Biscuits.
All in all it was a typical Sunday.
