Sitting off to the sidelines, far from the golden gates of Skettiland, Josef and Crimson watched as the place lit up, the gates flung open and a red carpet rolled out, lined on either side by the most prim and proper Fluffies either of them had ever seen. From Skettiland itself, a perfect shining white Pegasus Fluffy flew – as in literally flapping their wings and hovering off the ground – out of the grounds and went to greet their latest arrival.
Crimson couldn’t see the human visitor, but he could just make out what the angelic Pegasus was saying.
“Wewcome yuw mah-jahs-tee. Fwuffies hab biggesh heawt-happies tu see yu in Skettiwand.”
The Flying Fluffy led the visitor up the red carpet and into the tomato-based Eden that awaited her. Crimson found himself genuinely shocked at who he just saw, but was even more surprised by his owner’s nonplussed reaction.
“Daddeh? Yu see who dat is?”
“I saw her Crimson, don’t worry.”
“Wai daddeh nu fwippin da fuk out. Fot dis be yuw shit.”
“What the Hell gave you that idea? I got no connection to Royalty, my family’s Germanic, remember? It’s why everyone calls me a Nazi despite the fact that I fucking hate Nazis.”
“Wha bout yuw Mummah, she Bwitish, wight?”
“Eh, technicality. My Mother’s maiden-name was Vivienne McIntyre, she was Scottish Born until she met my father, then she became VERY British. Almost painfully so. I subscribe to the generally feeling they have of the Monarchy up North; nice for a novelty but couldn’t really care about them either way.”
“Oh. Cwimson fot aww Bwitish pee-pew wub da Qween.”
“There’s a difference between the Queen and the Monarchy, the Monarchy has a long and ugly History that a lot of folk have been turning against for a while now. The Queen herself, as both a figurehead and as a person, was loved not just because she was The Queen, but in spite of that, she ruled for 70 Years Crimson, she was an institution, a constant in a lot of people’s lives. They enjoyed her character more than they enjoyed her fellow cast-members.”
Josef sat there for a moment, watching the gates to Skettiland slowly close as the procession continued on down the streets of paradise.
“Still. I guess I have to respect her, for her longevity if nothing else. Must’ve been hard as she got up there in years to not look at the fuckwits around her and just tell them all to eat shit.”
“Cwimson undastan, wan tawkies tu hew bout Pwince Andwew. He an Cwimson hab wots in comm…”
“MONGUWA!”
Both Josef and Crimson jumped as the floating flaming Fluffy skull of The Iniquitous appeared.
“MONGUWA, YU HAB BEEN SUM-ONED.”
“Summoned? Who by?”
“DA QWEEN WAN SEE YU.”
“The Queen?”
“Oooh, can Cwimson come, Cwimson wub da Woyaw-tee, saw aww ep-ee-sodes of Da Cwown.”
“SIWENCE!”
There was a burst of flame and Crimson was sent back down to Sorryland to continue his punishment of waiting for an unknown creative force to continue his story.
“MONGUWA, YU AM TU GU TU SKETTIWAND AN MEET DA QWEEN!”
“Uh, sure but why? What could she… I mean, her Majesty, want with me. Has she heard about my scientific discoveries and wishes to discuss them with me.”
“NU!” The Iniquitous stifled a laugh as they spoke. “DA QWEEN WAN SEE THE DANCIE DUMMEH WHO GWEET DA GUD FWUFFIES OF SKETTIWAND!”
Josef felt his ego crash land into the concrete, but he took a deep breath and stood up.
“I guess meeting royalty under shitty circumstance is better than not meeting them at all.”
Josef took one step forward when he was suddenly stopped by The Iniquitous.
“WHEWE AM YUW COS-TOOM?”
Josef’s blood chilled. “Please no, I can’t wear that thing again. I look like a Court Jester got buttfucked by the Telletubbies.”
The Iniquitous stared down at Josef, and a cruel smirk grew on their face.
“Put on da fukin cos-toom.”
