“Am cawtoons guud fo babbehs?” Lilac asked as you turned on the TV.
“I can’t see them being a problem.”
“Da kitteh-fwend an’ da mousie-fwend nu am nicey to each uddah, nu knu if wan’ babbehs see dat.” She furrowed her brow at the old cartoons playing on the screen.
“Hm. You might be right. I’ll see if I can find some Sesame Street DVDs, we’ll keep Tom and Jerry away from them until they’re older.” You set the remote down next to Clover. “I’m going to go make sure that Dust is alright out there before Cash gets here, be back in a second.”
It was a beautiful sunny day, and you squinted as you stepped outside. What a good day to introduce Dust Bunny to the wonders of the outdoors. You were a little worried about her while you were gone, being an indoor fluffy her whole life but she seemed to take to it well. You asked Bluebell to keep a close eye on her and her foals, just in case.
You couldn’t see any Fluffies in the pasture, which was confusing. On such a nice day there should be many technicolor blobs running around in the grass, but you could only see one, a blue fluffy with their back to you by the far end of the fence. Maybe you came back from the vet during their nap time?
“Hey! What’s going on?” You called out to it.
The fluffy didn’t react. You could see it doing something, maybe digging? As you approached you realized you didn’t recognize this fluffy. Its dusty blue fluff was vaguely like Bluebell’s but its mane was red. A feral? Maybe it was good you didn’t see any other fluffies out in the pasture, you couldn’t be sure if this strange fluffy had all their shots.
“Hi, buddy! Who are you? Are you lost?”
Again, no reply. You were close enough to get a good look at the fluffy now, and you didn’t like what you saw. It was filthy, covered in its own blood and skinny as all hell. Poor thing must have been on its own for a long time. Its mane had a few small streaks of white between the missing patches, was that due to stress or natural coloration?
There was something under his hooves, and it stomped down firmly in a slow rhythm. Something soft. Something red, with bits of yellow. Maybe… a cat? Had this feral defended your herd from a hungry cat? Would be a pretty impressive kill for a fluffy.
“Hey buddy… whatcha got there?” You took a few more steps, and the fluffy finally turned to look at you.
On the ground in front of it was the battered body of a fluffy. A familiar fluffy. There was little left of his face, but you knew Sunshine when you saw him, his shattered wings spreading brilliant yellow feathers across the bloody grass like shards of sunlight fallen to earth.
You put your hand over your mouth, looking over the scene. The blue fluffy just stared at you with hollow eyes. You knew this fluffy too, memories of him with puffed cheeks demanding your yard surfaced and you just… acted.
Your foot slammed through his ribcage with a sickening crack. You didn’t pause before lifting it and bringing it down again, flattening the smarty’s hind quarters this time. Hot, angry tears streamed down your face as you slammed your foot down over and over.
A hand grabbed your shoulder and you spun around, fist flying blindly at your attacker. Cash caught your fist and grabbed your other arm.
“Sam! Stop!!” He yelled.
“I-I-He-I-” you stumbled over your words, tongue fumbling to make anything but senseless noise.
“Breathe. Just breathe.”
You took a deep breath, held it, and exhaled. “Cash…”
There was a small choking noise from behind you, before you could react Cash had a pistol in his hand trained on the mess behind you. “Cover your ears Sam.”
“Cash-”
“Cover your ears.” It wasn’t a request. You clapped your hands over your ears and heard two muffled shots ring out. Cash held the pistol for a few more moments before pulling the pistol to his chest and then tucking back into a holster at his hip.
You slowly lowered your hands from your ears. “Cash… I didn’t want… I wasn’t thinking…” What must he think of you, walking up to seeing you stomping a fluffy to death after he and the other hugboxers did so much for you.
“Just breathe Sam. Take a moment, calm down. No one’s mad. We can talk about what happened here after you’re calm.”
You took another deep breath. You glanced down at your boots and regretted it. The splatters of gore painted your tan work boots a deep reddish brown speckled with bits of pink and purple.
“Is that… Sunshine?” Cash asked.
You nodded, staring across the pasture. You could see a small blue face peeking from the cracked door of the barn, Bluebell keeping an eye on things. You hoped none of the rest of them saw what you did.
“Jeez. Yeah, I think that was a reasonable reaction.”
“Reasonable?! Cash, I… I killed him.”
“Not Sunshine. You killed a murderer.” Cash stopped you from turning fully to see the mess behind you.
“But… he was just a fluffy…”
“Sometimes they’re too far gone, even for us. There might have been something to be done for him, some way to redeem him but that ship sailed.” Cash took your arm gently and started leading you across the pasture. “All you can do now is deal with the aftermath. You made a decision. Good or bad, it’s been made. Move from there, don’t look back.”
“Don’t look back. Alright.” You let him lead you, a heavy numb feeling resting on your shoulders like a damp blanket.
After a long shower and a quick talk from Cash to your barn fluffies you were sat down on the couch, a open beer in hand. He sat down next to you, resting his elbows on his knees. The soft sounds of Sesame Street played from your bedroom, where Clover and Lilac watched on your laptop.
“Alright, talk. What happened?”
“I just got home and went to check on the herd and didn’t see any of them. I found… him, pounding Sunshine to a pulp and just…” You took a large gulp of your beer, leaning back. “I just acted. I want to say I didn’t want to hurt him but… I did. God, what’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing. Wasn’t the best response but wasn’t a crazy one. Lord knows I’ve done some similar stuff.” Cash twisted off the cap of his beer and took a swig. “You act like you know that fluffy, though. The blue one.”
“It… that’s the herd’s old smarty. I uh… gave them to an old friend. I’m not proud of it.”
“An abuser?”
“…Yeah. I didn’t… ugh.” You chugged the rest of your beer, trying to avoid admitting what you’d done. “I want to say I didn’t know. I did. I knew exactly what he’d do to them and I just… didn’t care.”
“You clearly care now.” Cash put a hand on your shoulder. “That’s what matters. The here and now. What you’ve done in the past won’t change, but you can and have.”
“…Thanks. This won’t like… get me kicked out of the hugboxers?”
“Wasn’t aware you wanted to be a member. No, it won’t. I wouldn’t exactly go around bragging about it but lots of them have similar stories. People make mistakes.”
You sighed. “Wonder how he got away from Dave. Dude has his garage locked down like a prison, I’ve seen it.”
“Abusers get sloppy. We help out lots of escapees, no one can outsmart a fluffy one hundred percent of the time.”
“Well, hopefully he’s not looking for the… for that fluffy. I’d like to never see him again if I can.”