You spent the rest of the morning and afternoon tending to the herd. They were a sweet bunch once they warmed up to you. Once the mothers had eaten their fill they fed their foals, singing their off-tune songs that you only found mildly grating. The older fluffies played in your yard, chasing each other around. They weren’t nearly as bad as you were expecting, all things considered.
Clover and Lilac kept to themselves. They sat in the grass under your maple tree and groomed each other, only speaking to you when you asked them direct questions.
It was nearly 5pm when you heard Dave’s truck come up the drive. “How’s it going Sam?”
“Not bad! You?”
“Oh you know, same old same old. Looking forward to some new toys!” He had a wicked grin. “Sorry it took so long, I had to make some… Preparations.”
“It’s cool. Got em trapped in the shed, c’mon. The rest of the herd is in the back.”
You two went around, and Dave whistled when he saw the herd napping in the grass. “Got yourself a proper yard invasion over here, dontcha?”
“Oh… Uh… I guess…”
He stopped “There a problem? Need me to chase em off?”
“No! No. I… Uh… Was kinda planning on keeping them.”
Dave looked at you like you had two heads. “What.”
“Look, they’re just eating the grass. Didn’t have to beat them or anything. I’ll never have to mow again!” You gestured to your well cropped grass. “They didn’t quite get all of it but I’m sure in a few days it’ll be nicely groomed.”
“And never having to mow again is worth all the baby talk?”
“Worst comes to worst I’ll just call you up again, won’t I?”
Dave sighed. “Just show me to the troublemakers. I’ll get them loaded and then we can talk.”
He unlatched the shed door. “Just agree with everything I say, okay?” You nodded.
The door opened and the smarty busted out, panting. “Hoo… Hooman… Nu wock… Smawty in… Hot woom…”
“I’m so sorry he did that to you buddy!” Dave put on a saccharine sweet voice. It was bizarre to hear him immatate their baby talk. “But don’t you worry, I beat the meanie mister up!”
He glanced at you. “Oh yes,” you feined a pained voice. “He gave me worstest hurties!” You fell backwards into the grass, glancing at the rest of the herd. They were all to the far side of your yard, by the trees. Hopefully they didn’t hear any of this.
“Dummeh hooman…” The panting smarty spat at you.
“I heard you were the bestest fluffies so I’m going to take you all to sketty land with me!”
“Sketty!” The fluffies hoarse voices shouted in unison, and rushed to Dave.
“Now, before we go, I need to test that you have the bestest noses!” Dave pulled a small vial out of his pocket. “Line up for me!”
The smarty strutted forward “Smarty have bestest nosie!”
“That’s awesome buddy! Here, just tell me what this smells like!” He held it out to the smarty.
The fluffy took a big sniff. “Smewws wike…” And then he fell to the ground. None of the others noticed, too focused on sniffing the vial. One by one they all collapsed to the ground, the first mare dropping a few peeping foals on her way down. Dave didn’t offer it to the pregnant mare.
“Well that was easy.”
Dave picked up the last mare, who yelped in fear. “Dumb fuckers fall for it every time. Help me get them loaded, will you?”
You picked up the smarty and the orange toughy next to him. “Go around the other side of the house, I don’t want the herd to see this.”
In the back of Dave’s truck were several wire cages, just large enough for a fluffy to turn around in. You roughly tossed the fluffies into them while Dave was gentler with the pregnant mare. The other mares foals went into a bucket with a blanket on the bottom.
“Mistah… No wike metaw house…” The pregnant mare asked softly.
“Yeah I don’t really give a shit. This is your new home.” Dave calmly replied.
The mares eyes went wide. “But… Skettyland… Mistah say…”
Dave slammed the cage door shut. “I lied.”
Back at the shed, you surveyed the damage. A spray of feces was on the door and the floor by it, but that seemed to be the only thing needing cleaning.
“Mistah?” Bluebell’s high pitched voice chimed from behind you.
“Yes sweetie?”
“Whewe bwuddah and meanie fwuffies go?” She tilted her head.
Shit. “Uh… They… They went…”
“To the sorry farm!” Dave chimed in. You didn’t even realize he was there.
“The sowwy fawm?”
Dave crouched down and ruffled Bluebell’s mane. “The sorry farm is where bad fluffies go. There’s no toys or grass or friends, just owies and sadness. That’s why you godda be good for Mister Sam here!”
“Otay! Bwubeww be good fwuffy! Teww othew fwuffies about sowwy fawm!” She ran off to spread the word.
You shook your head at him. “You are so good with them. If I didn’t know better I’d say you loved fluffies.”
“You godda build their trust to tear them down.” He stood and surveyed the herd. “Any particularly interesting ones?”
You pointed out Clover and Lilac. “These two, the brown one led the herd here and her friend there is an alicorn.”
Dave whistled. “That’s a payday right there. Matching coat and mane, right?” You nodded. “Yeah he’s easily worth $300-400.”
Your jaw dropped. “That much? For a feral??”
“He’d be worth more with a pedigree, but yeah.” Dave walked over to the pair, who shrunk back against the tree trunk. “Hi there guys, how are you?”
“Fwuffy good…” Clover mumbled, pushing himself protectively in front of Lilac.
“She your special friend?”
Clover hesitated. “…nu. Poopeh fwuffies not awowed to hab speciaw fwends.”
“Well that was your old herd. Mister Sam makes the rules now, and I’m sure he would let you be special friends, right Sam?”
You nodded. “Of course you can.”
Lilac shoved her face deep into Clover’s fluff. He spread a wing over her. “Den Wiwac Cwover’s speciaw fwend!”
Dave gave them a big smile. “Great to hear!” Turning back to you, “Yeah, I would keep him and see if you can convince him to be studded out. He’s a big boy, should bring you in a tidy income.”
“You think he’ll be okay with it?” The pair seemed inseparable.
“Let him keep his special friend, just tell him he can have ‘special hugs’ with other mares too. If he’s not feeling it I have some stuff that will get him in the mood, if you know what I mean.”
“Ew. Yeah I get you. Need anything else while you’re here?” You liked to keep the details of what Dave did with his fluffies to a minimum.
He pulled out an envelope from his pocket. “This is for your trouble.”
“Nah man I can’t take your money, I needed them gone anyway.”
Dave pushed it firmly into your hands. “If you’re keeping this many you’re going to need to get the right paperwork from the state, all those laws about population control and whatnot. Also my brothers card is in there, he’s an industrial fluffy vet. He owes me a favor, remind him and I bet he’ll do a checkup on them for free.”
“That’s real generous Dave.”
“Don’t mention it. I figure with you keeping this many I’m going to get a few more trouble makers down the line.”
“Hopefully not.”
Dave laughed. “Don’t trust the shitrats to do anything other than fuck up. These creatures will make only the worst decisions if left to their own devices.”
You sighed “Just do me a favor. If any of the foals turn out to be… Good, bring them back.”
“You bleeding heart.” he said, rolling his eyes. “Give me a call if you need any help.”
“Will do, thanks Dave.”
As he drove off, you could almost hear the quiet sobbing of the pregnant mare in the back of his truck.
By the evening, the fluffies had made themselves right at home. You got the basics of the barn set up, cleared away some metal scraps and other obviously not fluffy safe debris and got some old hay from the loft spread around. Once it was done, you called Bluebell over.
“Yes, mistah?” She was very polite for a fluffy, you had to give her that.
“I want your herd to stay here with me.”
Her eyes lit up. “Be…nyu daddeh??”
“No, no”
“Oh.” She looked at the ground, crestfallen.
You gently patted her mane. “I’m just not your daddeh. You and your herd can still stay here though! I want you to live in the barn, and I’ll give you all the nummies you need as long as you all follow the rules!”
She perked back up. “Bwubeww get fwuffies to fowwow wuwes!!”
“Promise?”
“Pwomise!!”
“Okay, can you bring the herd here so I can show them the barn and tell them the rules?”
It took Bluebell a few minutes, but eventually the small herd was gathered by the door to the barn. “Okay fluffies!” You yelled over the rabble, “let me tell you the rules!”
You went through them three times to be sure they sunk in. No fighting, all babies are good babies, no poop or pee in the barn, and a reminder on what they can and cant eat. Once it seemed like that sunk in, you opened the doors and they rushed in, chattering about how nice their “new housie” was.
Most of them rushed in.
Clover and Lilac sat outside the doors and watched. “Aren’t you two going to see your new home?”
Clover shook his head. “Nu sweep wif hewd.”
Oh right, fluffy racism. “I’ll talk to Bluebell, I’ll make sure the others treat you all right.”
“Nu cawe. Nu twust dem.” Lilac spoke up.
“Oh. Okay. Uh… I don’t really have anywhere else for you to sleep…”
Clover rested a hoof on your leg. “We be otay. Tankoo fow wowwy bout fwuffies.” He was so polite.
“If you say so buddy.”
You went inside to cook yourself dinner. Your kitchen was small, but you only ever cooked for yourself so rarely made much of a mess. Smaller kitchens were easy to clean as well. What a strange day it was. Suddenly you had livestock on your farm. You had no plans of eating them, of course, but still. You toyed with the idea of getting chickens a few years ago but it seemed like lots of work for a few eggs. You wouldn’t call yourself a vegetarian, but you only ate meat on the occasion that Dave brought over his extra catfish. It was just easier to only eat what your farm provided. With your pasta bake in the oven, you poured yourself your usual drink and watched the sun set over your little farm. You could just barely hear the babbling voices of the fluffy herd settling down for the night, and outside you could make out Clover carrying mouthfuls of leaves over to a spot by the barn door. Those two were really going to sleep outside tonight. Their choice you guessed.
Drink finished, and dinner eaten, you began to wind down for bed. You had picked up some new books at the town library, it was a small place but the librarian had a soft spot for you and made sure to get books that fit your tastes. I bet she had books on fluffy care. You made a note to head into town tomorrow. You could spare a bit of extra cash to get them some proper feed as well, you didn’t think fluffies ate just grass. Maybe a bag of deer corn or something. Just to vary their diet a bit.
As you laid in bed, you couldn’t seem to get into your book. It was a murder mystery, which was usually your jam but you just couldn’t stop thinking about the pair of fluffies sleeping outside the barn. They were enclosed by the fence, but it was a rickety old wooden affair, you hadn’t bothered to maintain it since buying the property. Why would you? You had no plans to get livestock like that. Even in it’s prime it wouldn’t really stop anything but the least motivated predator, it was only waist high. Wouldn’t even really stop a determined fluffy if you’re being honest. The pair would be easy pickings, they could be snatched up by any stray dog, coyote, hell even a determined owl…
Next thing you knew you had your boots on and were trudging through your yard towards the barn. The pair were fast asleep, Clover curled around the smaller Lilac. You gently nudged him awake.
“…hm? Mistah??”
“Sorry to wake you buddy, I can’t let you guys sleep out here. It’s not safe.” You tussled his deep green mane.
“Cwover undastand. Wiww go in bawn.”
“No, you don’t have to do that.” What the fuck were you doing. “Come with me, you guys can sleep in the house with me.” What the fuck kind of idea was that? Letting ferals into your home?? You just… Couldn’t let them be out here, and you had no idea how the barn fluffies would treat them while you were away.
“Fwuffies… Go in housie?” Clover mumbled, confused.
“Yeah bud, I can carry you if you want.”
He stood, careful not to disturb Lilac. “Nu tankoo mistah, but cawwy Wiwac pwease.”
You slowly slid her out of the leaf nest and into your arms. She was lighter than expected, even with all the dirt and debris matted into her fluff. She stirred slightly at your touch, but didn’t wake. You led Clover across the dark lawn and in through your back door. He hesitated at the threshold, unsure of himself, but joined you in the living room. You gently set Lilac on a blanket that had fallen off the couch.
“Here bud, you can sleep here tonight. I’ll get you some newspaper incase either of you have to pee in the night. Can you make sure Lilac knows when she wakes up?”
Clover yawned and curled up next to her. “Yes mistah, tankoo for nice beddie.”
“Okay. If you need me my bedroom is down the hall, I’ll leave the door open.”
By the time you had the old newspapers spread out, the pair was fast asleep. Clover had wrapped himself so tightly around his special friend that only her nose and one ear were visible. God they were so cute.
Back in bed, you wondered what the hell you were doing. Yesterday you were a hermit, needing no company. Not even a dog. Today you had at least 30 feral fluffies, two of which were sleeping in your living room. God knows what tomorrow would bring at this rate.
