You are Aqua! You are a pretty white filly with a shiny blue mane and a beautiful multi colored horn! Your mummah said it made you special, and you do feel very special because of it!
You were very sad to leave your mummah and siblings, but she told you that you were going to get a new home! With toys and treats and someone to give you all the huggies and love you could handle!! It was so exciting, it made the many forevers in the scary dark box easier. You just kept telling yourself about how wonderful your new home would be.
Eventually you heard lots of people talking, and your little box was picked up. You squinted into the bright lights to see the prettiest little human ever!!
“AHHHH A FLUFFY SHES SO PRETTY THANK YOU DADDY THANK YOU!!” Your little human jumped up and down, shaking your box roughly. It was scary, but you were so excited to have a new friend! She was little and pretty, just like you! She got you out of your scary box and gave you your pretty name!! And you played and played all day, there were so many fun toys stashed under the pretty tree in the middle of the room!
You got tired, though, and Alice’s daddeh said you needed to take a nap. He helped her bundle you up in a blanket and set you in her bed.
As you started to drift to sleep you heard some angry voices.
“What the fuck were you thinking, Harry? We can’t afford this shitrat!” Alice’s mummah said.
“Hey, fucking lay off for one goddamn day, can you? Excuse me for wanting Alice to have a good Christmas.” Daddeh replied.
“It won’t be a good fucking Christmas when we cant pay the power bill next month! Between your drinking, impulsive purchases, your stupid ass truck-” she was cut off by a loud slapping noise.
“Don’t you EVER talk like that to me.” Daddeh growled, in a way that almost made you scardie pee! “I make the fucking money, I get to spend the fucking money, do you understand?”
“…Yes.”
“Fucking good. Now drop that fucking scowl and go back to being a good wife.” You listened to daddeh stomp down the hall. It was scary! You didn’t know daddehs could be so scary, you never met yours. You were kinda glad, though. You tucked your head under the blanket, snuggling into its warmth and nodding off to sleep.
“Baby, we have to go.” You heard a voice break through your dreams that night.
“But Mom, what about-”
“We don’t have time. You have to trust me.”
You pulled your head from the warm blanket nest to see your new friend and her mummah in the doorway of the bedroom.
“I don’t want to leave her!” She said, and Mummah flinched.
“We have to go. I’m not arguing.” Mummah roughly grabbed her arm, and your friend started to cry. You heard a door open, and Mummah yanked Alice down the hall.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” Daddeh yelled after them. You heard more yelling and some other loud noises. It was very scary and you shook in your little blanket bundle, feeling a wet puddle grow under you. You hoped Alice would come back soon, you could use a hug.
After a long silence, you heard footsteps coming back up the hall.
“…Daddeh? Aqua am weaw sowwy, buh made bad peepees…” you called out to him.
He paused in the doorway. You shrunk into the blankets as his glare washed over you. “You did, did you?”
“…Yus. Am bewwy sowwy… nu am bad fwuffy, jus’… scawdie…” you muttered.
“Oh, you think I’m scary?” He stomped towards you, pinching your scruff and yanking you into the air. “I’m not taking criticism from a FUCKING SHITRAT.”
You covered your eyes with your hooves, trying to stifle your sniffles. Daddeh carried you back downstairs and roughly threw you into the same scary box you arrived in. You trembled in the bottom as the box was closed, wondering what had gone so wrong.
“U-23 is ready to go again.” Your ears pricked up at the sound of your name.
You were no longer Aqua, the starry-eyed foal looking forward to a long life in your new home. You were an eyeless, legless foal-producing machine.
There was a sharp pain in your hind end, a cold squirt of liquid, and your head dropped in its harness. You knew what this meant at this point. With no senses other than your hearing there was no way of knowing the passage of time, but you knew the patterns.
The cold liquid.
Movement in your tummy.
Painful cramps.
Chirping foals.
Then someone would come and take them from you. Something would steal your milk, sucking painfully at your swollen teats.
You didn’t know why your new family was so unhappy. You didn’t know what you did to make it all go so wrong. They were happy, and then you showed up and suddenly everyone was yelling and crying.
You wished you could tell them how sorry you were.
this is bleak and beautiful