Derpy Daycare
By @Za
Originally Penned April 29th, 2020
Chapter Four
I grabbed Peppermint by her midsection. She screamed. Oh god, did she ever scream. We were still in that bland little room I called my office. She was squirming helplessly in my hands, her eyes bulging slightly from the pressure of my hand wrapped around her. I was being delicate, to a degree. She didn’t shit, luckily for her. If I’d gotten any on me, I would’ve snapped her like a Slim Jim without an iota of hesitation.
“Listen to me, you little rodent,” I growled, tightening my grip. “I’ve had just about enough of this shit. I’m tired of you acting like you deserve everything you’ve been given.” She shrunk nervously. Her family had always given her everything she wanted. Spaghetti, hugs, love… and whatever other bullshit those rats needed. I was letting her know without a doubt in her mind that she was in my house now.
“I’ve worked my ass off trying to teach you, but you NEVER LEARN.” She continued to squirm silently. “DID YOU?” I shouted, causing Peppermint to flinch in my hand. She whimpered as tears began to stain her pristine white fluff. “You worthless fucking piece of shit, you should’ve been killed when you crawled out of your mother’s cunt like the accident you were.” Peppermint covered her ears with her hooves, bawling.
“Nuh wi’ bad w-wowdie! Nuh thoun’ pwe-pwetty!” she sputtered through the tears. I could feel my veins bulging in my temple. If I didn’t shut this thing up now, I would blow a goddamn gasket. With a deep breath, a sadistic thought entered my mind. A sinister smirk crept across my face as I calmed myself enough to give the little fluffy the illusion of good intentions.
“Are you ready for your final lesson, Peppermint?” I asked her with a grin. Her small green eyes met mine, glimmering with hope. I couldn’t wait to watch that hope of hers shatter. She nodded slowly, sniffling.
“Pweeth…” she begged, “nuh w-wi’ huwteeth.” This would be fun.
“All you have to do is scream,” I told her. She looked up at me sadly.
“Buh- buh middoo… pbbt… n-nuh wowed be noithy,” she struggled. Apparently her owners had trained her to shut the fuck up, at least a little bit.
“It’s okay here, I promise!” I consoled her, edging the fluffy closer to an attempt. “Okeeth… pbbt.” She nodded, inhaling deeply.
“Squee!” she tried, smiling hopefully up at me. That noise was cute and I hated it. Well, I didn’t think it was cute, but it was a stereotypically cute noise that made me want to skin myself alive.
“Try again. Louder!” I encouraged her with a smile, anticipating what would come.
“Squeeeeeeee!” she tried again, this time slightly more gutturally. Perfect. Now for the coup de grâce.
“One more, and this time I’ll help you. Ready?” She nodded excitedly, clearly eager to return home. I took one last look at the hopeless little creature in my hand. It was small, but not too small. It looked a bit like an oversized packing peanut. Chunky and white, with small, frail limbs and a set of stupid crossed eyes.
“One, two, three!” I counted for her. She began with another pathetic squee. Peppermint really would need my help. I’d been drinking long enough to have this motion rehearsed. With little resistance, I tightened my grip and crushed her like a soda can.
“SqueeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! REEEEEEEEE! ACK! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! BLGH!” Her guts exploded out both ends. Peppermint had gone from a sniveling little rodent to a firecracker of intestines in a split second. Her wriggling slowly sputtered to a halt as the color drained from her bright, mint green eyes. God, that was satisfying.
I awoke Saturday morning to a peaceful silence, only slightly disappointed that crushing Peppermint was a dream. The blinding light that so often glared into my eyes was resting peacefully against my stomach in blissful, alarm-free silence. The previous night held my first hours of restful sleep in weeks, and I loved every second of it. I checked my phone, and to my delight it was only eight o’clock. I was excited to willingly get an early start on my day rather than sulk in my room until lunchtime or march to the drum of an alarm. I thumbed through my closet, searching for an outfit. I passed on my Rage Against the Machine shirt, since it was usually my go-to. I also skipped over my Nirvana shirt, since I didn’t listen to that much of their music. Yeah, I was a poser. Eventually I settled on my Green Day shirt and some black cargo pants. I ripped the articles from their hangers and rushed to the bathroom. I was in and out quickly, showering like lightning. It was a rare occasion that my mom wasn’t beating the damn door down trying to get me out. I scrutinized my reflection in the steamy mirror, barely recognizing the smiling kid on the other side. The change I had seen was a jarring one. Who would have guessed that beating up poor, defenseless animals was all it took to put the spring back in my step? Feeling especially energetic, I even reached for my razor to slice the scruff from my chin.
I bounced into an empty living room just in time to see my father. He was dressed in his usual business attire, a collared shirt and tie. I laughed as he did a double-take.
“Hell’s bells, what’s got you up so early?” my father chortled, taking a quick drag from his cigar. I smiled a true smile, laughing with him.
“Must be a full moon if we’re both out, old man.” He and I shared a laugh for the first time in months. My dad had always been loving and supportive, working his ass off for my mom and I, but we only really got to see him at dinner. It was an unfamiliar feeling to actually speak to him before the work day tore him a new asshole. I pulled him into a side hug as I continued toward the kitchen. The usual suspects were all present in the fridge: Miller Lite, Coke, and milk. To my own surprise, I didn’t even consider reaching for the beer.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I chased my third breakfast bar down with an ice-cold cola. I figured it would be my buddies Curtis and Keith trying to make plans for the day, as they did every Saturday. A smile found its way to my face as I noticed that Juniper was the one texting me.
JUNIPER: haiii, u up? :B
It was nice to hear from her, but I knew she was texting me on business. More than likely, she needed my confirmation on some paperwork or an extra hand.
MITCHELL: Ya wassup
I cringed, thinking that that may not have been the best way to address my employer. If she didn’t think I was a dweeb before, she certainly did now. Her reply went from the ellipsis that indicated she was typing to a practical paragraph in a split second.
JUNIPER: i kno its kinda sudden n all but im off 2day do u wanna hang out bc like im bored n stuff but u seem cool n i think we could be like rlllllly gr8 friends out of wrk but if ur bzy just lmk cuz i totally got other stuff 2 do if ur not down k?
I stared at my phone for a moment with my mouth agape. Was this normal? There were two scenarios, both equally likely. Either it was normal to hang out with your boss and my last employers just sucked, or Juniper was being unprofessional and I didn’t mind at all. It was the first time a cute girl- wait, what? Er… the first time a girl had asked me to hang out for a while. It might be fun, but it also might be painfully humiliating. Taking another bite from my cereal bar, I weighed my options. After an extremely short period of contemplation, I made my decision.
MITCHELL: Whatcha wanna do?
“This is it, Mitch,” I mumbled to myself through a gob full of granola. “You’re gonna look like a stud or a basket case once this is over.” I breathed a sigh of relief as I checked her latest reply.
JUNIPER: u wanna go 2 the park or sumthin? ig we could do watevr u want tho im not picky
The park? I mean… it was a nice day, so why not? Maybe I’d see some feral fluffies and… no. I stopped that train of thought right away. I couldn’t do that around Juniper. She was such a… weenie about that type of stuff, at least from what I had seen. If I so much as looked at a fluffy the wrong way, she would see me for the twisted bastard I was. No matter what happened, I could not hurt a fluffy today.
MITCHELL: For sure
I felt pretty slick giving her a short, slightly detached response. This was the classic Mitchell charm that women just couldn’t resist… unless they did resist it. Which happened often.
We took a few minutes to arrange things, and somehow it ended with me picking her up around 10 because she didn’t really have a car. See, she lived right across the street from the daycare so there was never much need for one. At about 9:30, I climbed into my Camaro and headed for the daycare. As expected, the butterflies began their annual migration from Buttfuck, Nowhere to my stomach. There was no real reason for me to be nervous. She was just my boss, it wasn’t like this was a date or anything. The usually soothing sounds of Rage Against the Machine at max volume did little to calm my nerves. What was I so freaked out over? This would be fine, and I’d come out of it on better terms with my boss.
“Mitch?”
I leapt out of my skin and nearly slammed on the gas. I looked around frantically, searching for the voice that had scared the dogshit out of me. Laughing at me through my passenger-side window was that stupid blonde girl I’d come to tolerate. She snorted when she laughed, which she hated. I thought it was kind of cute. I hardly recognized her out of uniform. She was dressed in a white Aerosmith t-shirt and a short pink skirt you could hardly tear your eyes away from.
“You listening to Rage in there, Mitchell?” she cooed with a distinct twinkle in her eyes. I did a double take, wondering if I had actually heard her correctly.
“You… listen to this stuff?” I inquired. She nodded enthusiastically.
“Rock music is what I live for, Mitchellin Man!” she giggled. There was absolutely no way this chick was real. I smiled a stupid-looking smile at her as she clicked the door of my car open… until I noticed what was in her hand.
A small length of what appeared to be a string. My heart jumped slightly as I considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, she was going to fucking strangle me for being a fluffy-beater. At this junction, I had the option to slam on the gas or let her into my car. She beamed at me with those big, bright blue eyes of hers as she pushed her big round-framed glasses up to the bridge of her nose and smiled that goofy-looking smile. As my eyes traced down her figure - to the item in her hand, I mean - I slowly realized what she was holding on to. Regret sank in quickly. It was a leash. A leash attached to a bubblegum pink fluffy. The wretched creature smiled up at me with an expression of pure, untainted innocence.
“Hewwo dewe, nicest nyu mistah!” it began, waggling its white tail joyously. “Mummah takin Wowwipop fow wawkies!” I forced a smile and looked confusedly to Juniper. She glanced back at me apologetically.
“Oh! Sorry, this is Lollipop,” she told me. “I was already planning on taking her for a walk before I asked you to tag along.” She slid into the seat next to me, nestling the tiny pegasus atop her thighs. Oh god, I was gonna go nuts if I had to put up with this fucking rodent all day.
“That’s… precious,” I lied through clenched teeth. She giggled sweetly, stroking the fluffy’s mane. I breathed a sigh and began the drive across town.
“Wowwipop wike nyu mistah… mistah…” the fluffy mumbled, trying to come up with a name. “Wat am nyu mistah’s name?” I laughed under my breath.
“Mitchell,” I answered, offering a genuine smile. Lollipop seemed intrigued by this answer, as her ears perked up and her eyes grew a bit wide.
“Oooooh, nyu mistah am nice mistah Mitcheww?” Lollipop asked me, excitedly prancing around Juniper’s lap. I nodded, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I gazed out my open window as I sat at a stoplight. It was a nice day, and I was excited to spend it with Juniper… despite Lollipop’s presence. I took a swig from my still-cold Coke.
“Mummah tawk wots bout nice mistah Mitcheww!” the fluffy giggled sweetly. I spat my drink all over the car beside me, much to the chagrin of its driver. I turned slowly to see Juniper’s beet-red face buried in her hands as Lollipop looked up at her.
“Wai mummah wed?” the fluffy asked, turning to me. Still shocked, I faced forward and continued on driving. Was she really thinking about me? Why did I care, she was just my boss? It was obviously just her talking about work or something.
“Hush now, Lollipop,” Juniper breathed from behind her hands. The fluffy nodded with a dopey smile on its face, nestling back into her mother’s lap.
Today was going to be… a day.
Next Chapter ==>
<== Previous Chapter
Read the Comic by InfraredTurbine