Derpy Daycare
By @Za
Originally Penned March 5th, 2020
Chapter Three
Peppermint sat at attention, facing me as I prepared her lesson. I placed a small fluffy cushion on the floor, setting up a small radio on a nearby plastic box. I supposed that my new method would be far more successful, although a bit less fun on my end. “Alright, Peppermint,” I explained, waggling a CD case between my fingers, “we’re gonna do some learning today.” She cocked her head slightly, scoffing. “Wai hab wewn?” she inquired. Ugh, I hated that fucking brat. I sighed deeply, examining the CD as I popped it out of the case. It read “Talkies with Twinkle” and featured a picture of a cheerful pastel blue earthie that I could only assume to be Twinkle. Something about its smile was off-putting. I supposed it was just because I hated the damn things.
“Your family really wants you to learn to talk better,” I elaborated, clicking the CD into the radio. I stepped over to grab a handheld whiteboard and marker. “Don’t you wanna make your family happy?” I asked her as I returned, taking a seat across from Peppermint. She nodded excitedly, blowing raspberries. “Yebb! Wuh gib fammeh big habbeth!” she cheered with a smile. I nodded back, clicking the play button on the radio. The machine whirred, spinning the disc as it began to play. “Hewwo, nyu fwen!” came a grating voice from the speakers. I clutched my temples, grunting. These things fucking pissed me off. Fuck fluffies. Fuck them in the ass with knives.
Peppermint smiled at the radio, returning the greeting. “Woo!” she chirped. Twinkle continued, “Fwuffy’s name am Twinkwe! Wiww ou teww Twinkwe youw name?” Peppermint answered the recording as enthusiastically as ever. “Ooo! Name am suuuu pwetty!” Twinkle marveled. Peppermint smiled warmly, happy to have received a compliment. “Twinkwe gon hewp ou! Teach ou how make gud tawkies!” I buried my head in my hands. I now understood why the turnover rate was so high for a well-paying position like this one. I had planned on using the whiteboard for writing out the sentences Peppermint was supposed to say. I found myself instead drawing a crowd of stick figures beating a fluffy to death. In that moment, I considered applying to art school. However, upon recognizing how niche the market for fluffy abuse drawings is, I decided that it would be a better idea to just go home and upload my shitty drawings to Fluffybooru.
Twinkle began with a lesson in pronunciation. “Otay fwen! Make soundies jus wike Twinkwe!” Peppermint responded affirmatively with a smile. “Gu ‘wuh’ wike in da wowd wawa, otay? Wuh!” Peppermint did this with ease. The W sound didn’t prove to be very difficult for her, but she did need a bit of work on it. “Fwen am suuuu smawties!” Twinkle congratulated. This was the happiest I had seen Peppermint since I had gotten here, and I hated it. Twinkle’s lessons were annoyingly repetitive, and his congratulations were patronizing at best. Peppermint ate it up, though. I had to raise my fist at her once when she went to try and hug the radio. Oh well, I’m getting paid for this.
Each lesson passed by without much issue. Peppermint pronounced her Ws, her Ts, and her Us. I was happy enough, ignoring her almost completely while playing on my phone. And then… she tried to learn the S sound. Except, as I’d noticed, the little shit had a lisp. So all I could hear was a grating “thhhhh.” It cut through the sound of the radio like a razor blade. Just hearing that sound filled me with rage. I reached over to pause the radio. “What was that?” I grumbled at her. She smiled at me. “P- Pebbewm- m- min make guh ta… aw… kieth fo- fow nyu fw- wen Twinkwe!” she announced slowly and effortfully. “Am w- weaw… weawnin eth thound!” I clawed at my temples and gritted my teeth. “Shut up, shut up, shut up…” I thought to myself. “Thu thmawww… thmawty! Twinkwe thay th- tho!” she boasted pridefully. “Shut up, shut up, shut up…” My thoughts grew into a muttering as she continued on. Making that dreadful lisping S sound. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I told her to no avail. She was too loud and proud in her bragging. I was sick of it. The white eyesore glared at me with her sparkling mint green eyes, blabbering on and on, sputtering and blowing raspberries like a fucking idiot. I’d had enough.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I screamed, my voice cracking. Peppermint flinched with a deafening squeal. I stood from my chair and briskly stormed over to her, my footsteps like thunder against the floor. She cowered behind her hooves, crying “Huu huu… thcawy…” I grabbed her by the nape of her neck, tossing her haphazardly towards the radio. She thumped against the plastic container, knocking its contents over and falling to the ground in a messy heap. She picked herself up in a panic, leaving a trail of shit as she stumbled away from me. I continued on my warpath towards her with clenched fists. “Come back here you filthy fucking shitrat!” I shouted, slinging the busted radio towards her. She narrowly dodged it, screaming and unleashing a torrent of shit once more. “Nu mo! Nu mo! Pbbt! Pbbt! Thowwy! Fwuffy biggeth thowwieth!” she apologized through her wailing. That stupid fucking lisping piece of shit. I wanted to kill her. I grabbed her by the nape of her neck, holding her mere inches away from my face. “When you go home, I want you to practice the S sound,” I demanded. She was a trembling mess in my hands, curled up into a fetal position. Too scared to move, to scared to speak. “Fix that lisp by the time you come in next Monday, or I’ll shave you fucking bald. Got it?” She nodded silently, still shaking like crazy. I threw her to the ground and she began to sob again. “Owieth…” I shouted again, punching the wall. She held her mouth shut and scampered away to hide.
Minutes later, Juniper came knocking at my door. “Hey buddy!” she greeted me, throwing the door open. I smiled weakly at her, waving from the desk. She took a cursory glance around the room. “What happened?” she asked, her face growing concerned. “Where’s Peppermint?” I chuckled lightly, recalling my rampage moments ago. “She ran off to hide a few minutes ago,” I explained. That part wasn’t a lie. “I tripped and knocked the radio off, messed the sucker up pretty badly. Sorry about that.” Juniper waved it off with a grin. “Oh please, who even uses radios anymore? It’ll be like ten bucks to replace, tops.” I nodded in agreement, turning my attention to the corner. Peppermint slowly crawled out from beneath a table. She broke out in a sprint towards Juniper when she saw her. The fluffy hugged her leg tightly. “What’s the matter, sweetie pie?” she asked, stroking the creature’s mane. Peppermint turned her eyes to me for a mere second. I shook my head with furrowed eyebrows and gnashed teeth. She squeaked softly, returning her gaze to Juniper. “Ith otay nao, M-Mith Jyunib- pew,” the fluffy replied meekly. Juniper picked the rodent up and coddled it in her arms. “Let’s take you back to your mommy and daddy,” she cooed. Peppermint beamed excitedly as she was carried away. Juniper turned to me as she left. “Awesome job!” she whispered excitedly, flashing me that cute buck-toothed smile.
I felt free. I excitedly ran out the door, pushing through a crowd of playing fluffies. I shoved my way out the door and into my car. As I started the ignition, I checked my rear view mirror to see some fat, repulsive child practically snapping her fluffy’s spine. Was that…? It was. That was Peppermint. It seemed like her owner was rough enough with her that a few bruises and scratches and crying fits wouldn’t seem too out-of-place. The girl dragged Peppermint, who was smiling, into a fancy white car. They sped away, leaving me smiling in the parking lot. “See you bright and early Monday morning, shitstain,” I said to myself. “You and I are gonna spend all summer together.”
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