Note: read “A Second Chance” and “Chris and Lavender: Worlds Apart” first. Spoilers for the Multiverse Saga.
In an apartment in New York City, the Death of Fluffies walks into the living room through the wall.
The DUTY calls.
He sees his newest client, having wandered out of the saferoom to tell his owner that the nummies bowl was empty, only to find nummies on the living room floor.
The nummies turned out to be rat poison.
The owner is currently smoking a cigarette up on the roof, and will only later see what happened.
The Death of Fluffies looks at his client’s former residence, a puddle of drool having formed where the fluffy’s head went limp, the eyes swollen and bloodshot, rigor mortis already settling in.
The Death of Fluffies cuts the silvery thread connecting his client to his body.
DIS AM WAI YU FINK BEFOWE YU NUM.
The spectral fluffy fades away, and the Death of Fluffies departs.
Some time in the past, in an alleyway in Philadelphia, the Death of Humans reaps a man who was stabbed by a hobo.
AZRAEL SAYS YOU’RE GETTING A SECOND CHANCE. PERSONALLY, I DON’T THINK YOU DESERVE IT. BUT AZRAEL INSISTED THAT YOU GET A CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF. DON’T WASTE IT, CHRISTIAN ELLIS.
Spoiler alert: he will.
A little less further into the past, or rather, a past, the Death of Fluffies reaps Lavender.
Or rather, a Lavender.
“Wiww daddeh git away fwom dat dee-mun?”
YUS. BUT DA DEE-MUN NU WIWW GIT AWAY FWOM YU DADDEH.
The Lavender of Timeline-214 looks at her corpse, stomped flat by the demonic Calvin of Timeline-666.
“Wavendew made da wite choice.”
On Primal Earth, the Death of Dinotites reaps his latest client, who stupidly attempted to break through the Ioka Village portal while Teach was guarding it.
Teach can see the Death of Dinotites, and salutes him.
The Death of Dinotites salutes back, before turning to his new client, hissing with scorn.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PICK A FIGHT WITH A NEPHILIM.
“What the fuck is a neff-ill-im? Monkeys aren’t supposed to have wings!”
WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO REAP SUCH AN IDIOTIC SPECIES? HOW HAVE YOU MORONS NOT STUPIDED YOURSELVES INTO EXTINCTION YET?
“We’re very persistent.”
I CAN SEE THAT. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN TO FOLD.
In the jungles of the Amazon, the Death of Fluffies reaps a fluffy who was eaten by one of the many dangerous animals living in the Amazon, while one of his co-workers, looking like a mongoose skeleton in a black cloak, reaps the animal that choked to death on the fluffy.
Despite what you may think, this Death is actually the Death of Snakes.
DAT AM WUN BIG ANACONDA.
The Death of Snakes shrugs.
CHATTER.
YU HAF A POINT DEWE.
CHATTER.
The two Deaths reap their clients, and depart.
In the domain shared by the Deaths of Humans and Fluffies, the two of them walk up to the black cottage, over black grass.
The Death of Humans looks down at the Death of Fluffies.
YOU FEEL IT TOO, DON’T YOU?
The Death of Fluffies nods solemnly.
YUS. HE HAF CHOSUN HIS HAWBINGEW. AN HE AM PWE-PAWE-IN TU MAKE HIS MOOV.
THE SHEER GALL OF IT DISGUSTS ME. HE’S BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS EVER SINCE HE WAS GIVEN HIS NEW DUTY. HE MISSES HIS OLD DUTY, AND WANTS TO DO IT AGAIN.
BUT HE WUZ GIBEN DA NYU DUTY FOW A WEE-SUN.
EXACTLY. HE’S GOING AGAINST THE PLAN. HE’S GOT A PLAN OF HIS OWN.
BUT DA PWAN NU CAN BE STAWPT.
WE SHALL JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW EVENTS UNFOLD. WE KNOW EVERY WAY IT COULD GO, BUT AS FOR HOW IT WILL GO…
IT NU AM UP TU US. WE AM JUS DEWE TU PICK UP DA PEE-SESS AT DA END.
THAT’S RIGHT. AND THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND HIM…
The two Deaths start walking to the edge of the black domain.
They’ve got another job together.
A herd of fluffies who were burned alive by a homemade flamethrower, and the man wielding the flamethrower, who was ironically killed by his own weapon when the fuel tank exploded.
…WE UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO CARRY OUT THE DUTY WE’VE BEEN GIVEN.
EBEN IF WE NU WIKE IT.
RIGHT AGAIN, DEATH OF FLUFFIES.