Daycare Center Fluffies
>Be a minimum wage earner at a Fluffy Pony ‘Daycare’ Center.
>Your job is everything everyone else doesn’t want to do.
>Empting the Litter Trays, picking up the stray poop, mopping up pee.
>Not allowed to hit, yell at or even glare at the Fluffy Ponies. Owner of the Daycare Center threatened to boot your ass to the curb if so much as one Fluffy Pony whimpered at the sight of you.
>You hate Fluffy Ponies. They remind you of your kid brother, all shit and snot and whining.
>But skipping school so often means you’ve got no credentials worth a damn, and the Big Mac and Burger King stores are all full up on employees.
>Can’t buy no shit if you don’t have a job!
>Rich Fucking SOBs with Fluffy Ponies, who are either going on holidays, in hospital or otherwise don’t have anyone to look after their genetic abomination shit-factories leave them at the “Daycare” center.
>Rich Bastards. $50 a day, per Fluffy.
>Fluffies are segregated into Male and Female groups to avoid Surprise Special Hugs, and given soft, foam-filled toys, giant plastic balls and stuffed animals to play with. Soft music such as Lois Armstrong’s ‘Wonderful World’ is piped in constantly during the daylight hours. At night-time, everyone gets their own special blanket, gets manually tucked in to their beds and every single Fluffy has a night-light and a ‘huggies’ button.
>So glad the Boss doesn’t think you’re capable of handling the Night Shift. Even for an additional $10 an hour, you wouldn’t be caught dead sitting there from 6pm to 6am waiting for one of the shit-machines to have a bad dream, poop themselves and need a change of beddings and a bath.
>But you do have to change the litter boxes once an hour, every hour, and the Fluffies get a constant stream of diced fruit and warm mash. Little bastards just play, eat, shit and babble.
>FUCKING RICH BASTARDS AND THEIR FUCKING IRRITATIN’ SHIT-MACHINE PETS!
>Fluffies are eating more of the damn Mash, made of potatoes, corn and carrots, and watching the Wide-Screen TV, chewing with big, bulging cheeks full of food. As they turn to talk to their neighbours, the mash spills out, splattering over the floor.
>And you’ll have to clean it up. Fuuuuuuuuck.
>Your lunch was two pieces of white bread with a slice of cheese. Unbuttered.
>But the thought of eating what a Fluffy Pony finds enjoyable turns your stomach.
>Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!
>“…And the latest attempt to stave off economic disaster has taken an interesting turn, an Multi-Species Theme Park, designed for both Fluffy Ponies and Humans, is on the verge of opening to the general public…” Some fat, short, over-make-up’d bitch on the TV is screeching, trying to pretend she’s a sexy news-anchor for some shitty cheap-ass paid advertisement.
> You scoff and turn back to your magazine. Fuck it, this article on how sex can make your pimples go away is more interesting than this shit.
>Fluffies stare in awe, the delicious mash tumbling out of their mouths as they listen to the Nice Lady.
>”…And here is one of the Mascots of the new Theme Park, Uni the Unicorn…” The Nice Lady says, guesturing to the biggest Fluffy Unicorn anyone has ever seen, bigger than a Hooman, her beautiful face in a perpetual smile.
>It’s two Humans in a giant Fur-Suit, but the Fluffy Ponies don’t know that. They do know ‘Uni’, however, and immediately everyone starts babbling about Uni!
>“We gu to Uni soon! She pwomise we can find Uni when she stawp her jhour-ney!” One Stallions giggles excitedly, hugging a neighbour.
>”Yes, I Uni, Unicorn Fluffy!” Uni says loudly, ‘looking’ straight at the camera. “Uni and Bruddas nu can wait to have funnehs, pway games, wit’ Nice Fwuffies an’ dere Mummies an’ Daddies at Sketti Wand!”
>”Sk-sk-sketti wand!” One whispers, its eyes going wide with wonder.“Is weal! Is Twue! Fast Fwuffy teww twuth!”
>”Daddy take Fwuffie dere, mus’ take Fwuffie dere!” Another cheers happily, bouncing up and down on its tush.
>”…And I understand there will be enough Spaghetti for everyone, Uni?” The Nice Lady says, her own grin very big and wide and unmoving.
>”Oh, yes, Uni’s Hoomin Friends haf so much Sketti, make evwy Fwuffie so big an’ woundy, so much nummy-Sketti!” Uni says, bobbing her ‘head’ up and down excitedly. “And when Fwiends too sweepy to wun nu moar, dere fun games to pway and fun wides fo’ Fwuffies to have many Funnehs wit, while dere Mummies an’ Daddies can watch dem safewy.”
>Fluffies poke friends who were too busy gorging themselves on Mash to pay attention to the Magic Picture Box, telling them to watch the Nice Lady and Uni, that she is talking about a magical place called ‘Sketti Pawk’
>Fluffies damn near riot in delight, jumping to their feet and hugging each other, spilling mouthfuls of slobbery Mash down each other’s chests.
>”SKETTI-WAND! SKETTI-WAND! UNI, EDDY, PIP IN SKETTI-WAND!” They cheer, hearts full of joy.
>More Spaghetti than they could possibly eat.
>Toys and rides built especially for them.
>Soft, green grass to play on all day.
>They must get their owners to take them there!
>”Awwww, did you miss me, sweety?” Your Hooman coos, tickling your chin with his finger.
>Hooman’s skin has turned a dark colour. Strange. But he’s still your Hooman, and you love him. You don’t understand ‘trip to the Bahamas’, but it made Daddy go away for a long, long time. A whole week!
>”Miss yuu much, Daddy!” You reply, hugging his hand tightly. “Fwuffie haf soooo much funnehs, moar fwiends dan can count, dewicious nummehs!”
>”That’s good. I’m glad you enjoyed your holiday, sweety.” Your Hooman smiles. “I’m glad you liked playing with other Fluffies too.”
>Daddy’s back and he still loves you! Everything is right with the world!
>”Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Fwuffie heard of Nice Pwace fo’ Fwuffies an’ Hoomans!” You say as your Hooman starts to tuck you into the Driving Places Seat, his fingers working their magic on the un-fun clips that hold you in place.
>”Oh? Where’s that?” Your Hooman asks, fiddling with the seat-belt clip. “Dammit … stupid thing won’t stay shut!”
>”Daddy, saw on tewwie! Nice Wady an’ Uni say Nice Hoomans makin’ pwace cawed ‘Sketti Land’ fo’ Fwuffies an’ Hoomans!” You laugh, wiggling in your seat excitedly. Hate the Un-Fun Clips, but it’s so much fun to see everything whizzing past you!
>”Oh, ‘Sketti Park’? Oh, oh, yeah, I heard about that. So, you want to go to ‘Sketti Pawk’ huh?” Your Hooman laughs and pats you on the head. “Well, I don’t know …”
>”Pweeeeease, Daddy! Fwuffy wan see Sketti Pawk, wan pway wit’ Moar Fwuffies, wide twains, pway with bawws!” You beg, giving him your cutest look. That sometimes works …
>”Well … alright, but you do realise, you can’t go alone.” He says, grinning.
>”Huwway, Daddy come haf How-wee-day wit Fwuffie?” You gasp, holding your hooves to your face in shock. Daddy goes away a lot, makes you so sad.
>”Daddy and … your new Friends!” He laughs, and whistles!
>”We come out now?” A small voice asks hesitantly.
>No … he couldn’t have …
>Five more Fluffies crawl out from under a blanket on the back seat, ears perked up, smiling at you.
>”HUWWAY!” You cheer, clapping your hooves together. “Fwuffie haf fwiends at home too!”
>”And guess what, I have seven tickets to … SKETTI PARK!” Your Hooman laughs, pulling out long golden paper things.
>THIS. IS. THE. BEST. DAY. EVER!