The Good Fluffy Ride
>You are a blue fluffy unicorn named Bravo, and today is the greatest day of your life.
>Your daddy took you to Spaghetti Land!
>With a giant mountain of spaghetti right in the middle of the park, and all the fluffy friends you could ever want, you’ll remember today as the greatest day ever.
>You and your daddy are waiting in a line for something or other. You don’t care what, there’s just so much to see!
>Fluffy friends gather around their daddy and mommies feet, giving them huggies and thanking them.
>You step up to the stairs and to onto the platform where a younger human stops your daddy.
>“here’s your 3d glasses,” says the human. Put them on, then please step into the booth to manually evacuate your fluffy into the bin before entering into the Good Fluffy Lesson," he says.
>“E-bac-u-date?” you say. “Wah dat?”
>“Be sure to select your training intensity and say your fluffies name into the microphone for the ride,” says the human.
>Your daddy picks you up and gives you big huggies! You love huggies!
>Except he’s squeezing you too hard! You’re going to make bad poopies!
>“Nuu! No wan make bad poopies!”
>“It’s okay,” says Daddy. “You made poopies in the box.”
>You sniff the box. “Bawk no smeww pwetty.”
>“It sure doesn’t,” says Daddy. He pushes something on the wall and says “Bravo.”
>“You wan Bwafo?”
>“Let’s see what ‘Extreme’ training is,” says your daddy.“Alright, get a seat,” says Daddy. He puts you in a special sitty thing with invisible walls like on the door to outside and a floor like the air blower!
>The other human puts a pair of goggles over your head, and then you can’t see anything!
>"DAWK!"you protest. “DADDEH IT DAWK!”
>You’re trying to take off the goggles when your sitty thing starts to move!
>“Daddeh! Sitty ting movin!”
>“It’s a ride silly,” he says. “It’s like watching TV, only it’s real.”
>Silly Daddy. Everyone knows that TV isn’t real.
>As the sitty thing moves along, you pass into a hallway where dozens of fluffies are singing and playing!
>“Be gud fow you mummies an daddehs!”
>“Dey keep you saf an wam!”
>“Aways wisten to you mummies an daddehs!”
>“Ow you wish you nevah be bown!”
>The happy dancing and singing fluffies disappear behind their hooves as the room grows dark.
>A pretty girl fluffy and her mommy appear just a few feet away!
>“Now, now, fluffy,” says the Mommy, “Be sure not to break things!.”
>You can’t help but stare at the pretty fluffy’s mane and soft fluff.
>“Don’t make not pretties on the rug,” says the Mommy. “You make not pretties on the rug, you’ll get the sorry box!” then the mommy looks at you.
>“Isn’t that right… BRAVO?”
>You start to panic. How did that mommy human know your name?
>“I nawt bweak tings!” says pretty fluffy. “I nawt haf bad poopies!”
>“Now I’m going to go out, fluffy. You behave with your good friend… BRAVO… okay? Don’t go outside, or the monsters will get you.”
>The pretty girl fluffy comes up to your sitty thing and runs along side. You run up to her and bonk your head against the invisible wall on the sitty thing.
>“Daddeh!” you protest. “Wan meet fwuffy!”
>“Just watch,” he says.
>The fluffy looks around for a moment, and smiles at you. “Wan pway game?”
>You love games. You want to play with the pretty fluffy mare. “Wan pway! Wan pway!”
>As soon as Mommy leaves the room, pretty fluffy runs over to the table and knocks a vase off it!
>“Why do dat?” you ask.
>“Cause momeh nawt no noffin!” says pretty fluffy. “Watch dis!”
>She scrunches up her face and makes a not pretty right on the carpet.
>“No wisten to mommies!” she says. “Why wisten to mommies? Wets go outside!”
>Suddenly, you’re not in the house anymore! It’s green and the sky is blue and the grassies are all around your friend.
>“Mummah say nawt go outside but mummeh dumb!” says pretty fluffy. “Why wisten to mummah?”
>Yeah, why should you listen to mommy? Outside is fun! Everything is bright and happy and besties, mommies and daddies are always telling you to do boring things.
>You’re starting to like your new friend and their ideas!
>But there’s something wrong!
>The sky is getting darker and there are shadows creeping up on pretty fluffy.
>“New fwien!” you yell. “Wook out! Munsteh!”
>Something reaches from the darkness and snatches up the pretty fluffy. You puff up your cheeks at it, to try to scare it away.
>Then it starts laughing. It’s scary evil laugh, and the pretty fluffy is crying.
>The something smashes pretty fluffy against the glass, and screeches loud!
>“ThIs LiTtLe fLuFfIe DiDn’T LiStEn To MoMmy!” shrieks the voice. “dO yOu KnOw WhAt hApPeNs tO fLuFfIes tHaT DiDn’T LiStEn To MoMmIeS aNd DaDdIeS?”
>Pretty fluffy is thrown back into the grassies, which aren’t grassie anymore, but writhing black tentacles that reach out and grab the pretty fluffy
>“No wike dis game!” cries pretty fluffy. “Shoul haf wisten to mummie!”
>The dark scariness is all around you now. Red things with scary evil eyes float around you, and your daddy is gone from the sitty thing!
>“DADDEH!” you cry, wetting yourself in terror. “NO WIKE DIS GAME! NO WAN EBIL TINGS!”
>The creature starts tearing out pretty fluffies fluff as she shrieks and cries in pain. She disappears for a moment as boo-boo juice splatters on the glass wall in front if you.
>The creatures slams Pretty Fluffy up against the glass. You can see a crack in the glass getting bigger as he slams he face into it again and again!
>Pretty Fluffy’s pretty blue eyes are gone, torn from her sockets. Her face is leaking boo-boo juice as he teeth dangle from her broken jaw.
>Now you lose control of your poopie place and make bad poopies into the grate.
>Her leggies are going the wrong way. Her pretty little wings flutter on the ground as the evil creature tears them off her back.
>“Shou haf wisten to mummie and daddeh!” she sobs before the evil something tears her head from her body.
>Pretty fluffy’s head keeps screaming “WISTEN TO MUMMIE AND DADDEH!” as the creature crushes it between his glowing yellow teeth.
>Then the evil creatures see you.
> They start swarming around the invisible wall, banging on it, trying to get through the glass.
>“NUUUU!” you cry trying to escape the invisible walls. “I PWOMISE WISTEN TO DADDEH! DUN HUWT FWUFFY! DUN HUWT FWUFFY! I GOOD FWUFFY!”
>“Are you a good fluffy, …BRAVO…?” asks the evil thing.
>“Bwafo good fwuffy!” you sob. “Bwafo good fwuffy! Dun huwt Bwafo!”
>“And what do good fluffies do?” asks the evil thing.
>“gud… fwuffies… wisten… to mummie and daddehs,” you sob, trying to hide behind your hoofsies.
>In a flash all the evil things are gone, and there’s your daddy sitting next to you just outside the invisible wall with a smile.
>“That’s right,” says the voice. “Always listen to your Mommies and Daddies.”
>The invisible walls lift, and you run to Daddy. He’s got sad water running down his face, and he’s coughing.
>“Wuv Daddeh!” you say as you hug his leg. “Do wah daddeh sez! Dun wan be bad fwuffy!”
>“Oh my god that was hilarious,” says Daddy to the human standing there. “That was way better than Avatar!”
>“Yeah, the Extreme is a bit much, but hilarious as hell.” says the other human. “The ‘nice’ setting just has the fluffy getting lost.”
>“You want to go on another ride?” asks Daddy.
>You are about to jump up and down before you remember the lesson you just learned.
>“Yoo wan go on wide?” you ask. “Do wah dadeh sez.”
>“Sure,” says Daddy. “Let’s get in line for this ride again.”
>“Please step into the booth, and manually evacuate your fluffy into the bin before entering into the Good Fluffy Lesson,” says the other human.
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