>You are an owner who has taken your yellow and green fluffy, Marigold, to Spaghetti Land, the one and only theme park designed for fluffies.
>In exchange for being an absolutely perfectly well-behaved little girl for 3 whole months, you’ve driven all the way to Cleveland with the Deluxe Super Fluffy Package, which includes free access to all the rides with Fast Pass, a weekend long all-you-can-eat food pass, and discounts for the stores.
>Expensive? Yes
>Worth it? Totally.
>Marigold is acting the same way you did when your parents took you to Disney World.
>She can’t decide what part of the park excites her most, so her head is constantly spinning left to right as she trots along, her leash clipped to your belt loop.
>You both just sat through the Fluffy Theater of Tomorrow.
>An informative ride that’s more or less a fluffified version of Disney World’s Carousel of Progress.
>Never heard a fluffy say “asshowe” since you accidentally left the TV on South Park while you left Marigold at home to get some groceries.
>Well, Marigold loved it. She’s been humming the song ever since you left.
>After that Goof Fluffy Ride, anything would be better.
>Gotta admit, though, it has kept her close to you. You’ve yet to feel the leash go tight from her trying to run ahead.
>Even with her leash and collar, that could end badly.
>There are TONS of fluffies running free. You suspect quite a few of them are the ferals you saw earlier.
>Still, they’ve been on their best behavior, and you can see people on golf carts rounding up any ferals that start fighting.
>Sure hope they’re being taken to a shelter and not a wood chipper.
>”Daddy! Daddy!”
>You look down. “Yes, Marigold?”
>Marigold points a hoof at Spaghetti Tower. “Wan sketti! Pwease can haf?”
>Might as well. You have unlimited food for the entire weekend. Marigold’s probably worked up an appetite from all her skittering around. And you could go for a bite yourself.
>”Sure. Let’s get some food.”
>”Yay, nummies!”
>Man, that tower is a lot bigger when you’re standing under it.
>The food court is huge, and bustling with crowds of hungry fluffies babbling about “skettis!”
>Whoever designed this place designed a pretty good system to feed so many customers.
>There are 12 kiosks sticking out of the sides of Spaghetti Tower, and each one is manned by 3 cashiers and 4 attendants.
>With 36 lines, waiting time is short, and with the tower being placed right in the middle of the park, hungry humans and fluffies are never too far away.
>As you wait with Marigold, who is bouncing up and down in anticipation, you watch the employees work.
>Lined along the inner walls of the kiosk are all the typical stadium fare for humans, such as personal pizzas, hot dogs, corn dogs, burgers, etc.
>You see they even have a large pot from which they’re ladling heaping plates of hot spaghetti onto a plate.
>Just the sight of that most cherished of foods sends the waiting fluffies into a frenzy on shouts and flailing legs.
>One fluffy gets too excited and soils himself.
>Unfortunately, he was being held by his owner, whose shoes are now covered in foul-smelling fluffy shit.
>The nearby fluffies try to cover their noses with their stubby hooves, mumbling “no smeww pwetty…”
>The owner starts screaming at her fluffy pegasus, who is flinching and uttering apologies in typical fluffy form.
>You watch as she leaves the line in a huff, her shoes making a sloshing slap with each step.
>Sucks to be that fluffy. No spaghetti for him.
>There was a litterbox not ten feet away, too.
>And 25 feet away.
>Seriously, there are litterboxes everywhere in the food court.
>And they’re being used, too. Plenty of fluffies eating their spaghetti suddenly asking their mommies and daddies to undo the straps holding them to the benches so they can poop.
>Smart move, installing so many litterboxes.
>Because the poop goes straight down a grate, which then feeds into a pipe, the smell doesn’t linger.
>Going back to watching the employees serve food, you notice that the spaghetti they’re getting out of the pot is being served in very large portions. Too big for a fluffy.
>You see an employee then go to the back of the kiosk. There are 3 of what looks like those popcorn containers you see at movie theaters, only filled with spaghetti.
>She takes a small plastic bowl and places a much smaller amount of spaghetti into it, then pouring marinara sauce onto it out of a push dispenser you usually use for mustard and ketchup.
>One of the spaghetti containers is low, and you see a door above it open.
>Fresh spaghetti tumbles down into the container.
>How efficient.
>You wonder why the fluffies get a different spaghetti than the humans.
>Your turn in line. Time to find out.
>”One large fluffy spaghetti bowl for Marigold here…”
>Marigold squees with joy at the prospect of delicious spaghetti. “Wuv skettis! Fank yoo fo’ skettis!”
>”…and a large bowl for me, too. Both with marinara. Meatballs for me if you have them.
>You swipe your food pass and the attendants hands you your bowls.
>They do have meatballs. Score!
>You walk over to an empty table and Marigold hops up on the bench.
>You don’t bother strapping her in, since she’s still on her leash, and she’s proven to be trustworthy.
>You place her bowl before her. “Here you go, honey. Dig in.”
>Marigold just stares for a few seconds, her jaw hanging open.
>Then she just bursts into tears.
>Uhoh. “What’s wrong, Marigold?”
>”Mawig-g-gold so h-h-happy! Haf s-s-skettis, haf fun wides w-w-wif Daddy, haf so much f-f-fun!”
>She jumps into your lap and hugs you tightly.
>”Fank yoo, Daddy! Fank yoo fow take Mawigowd to Sketti Wand!”
>Awwwww, she’s overwhelmed with happiness.
>Definitely worth the money to take her here.
>You cuddle with her awhile until she’s calmed down enough to eat.
>You plop her back down in front of her spaghetti. “Fank yoo fo’ skettis, Daddy!”
>She immediately digs in, her lips smacking as she dines on spaghetti and red sauce.
>You start in on your own spaghetti and meatballs.
>Man, that’s not bad at all. The meatballs are definitely of the precooked and frozen variety, but they’ve been soaking in the marinara sauce, and they’re plump and moist.
>Marigold, of course, is in fluffy bliss right now, and her tiny mouth can barely chew fast enough.
>You can hear a fluffy a few tables away choking from eating too fast.
>The owner is trying to force the food up or down her throat, but the Heimlich Maneuver would crush a fluffy pony’s delicate ribcage.
>Looks like some fluffy’s about to die doing what it loves most.
>…”Marigold, don’t eat so fast.”
>She obeys, and she takes her time, each mouthful letting out a soft “nom.”
>Still curious why fluffies get different spaghetti, you ask Marigold if you can have a noodle.
>She stops eating, her snout covered in marinara. “Otay, Daddy! Mawigowd is good fwuffy, shawe sketti!”
>You pet her, careful to avoid the areas stained with sauce.
>You grab a noodle with your fork and chew on it.
>Bleh. It falls apart in your mouth, and it tastes more like dough than pasta.
>And the marinara is clearly little more than tomato paste and a few scant spices and a pinch of salt.
>Not gonna lie, pretty gross.
>Not that any of the fluffies seem to mind. They’re all digging into their spaghetti without any complaints.
>Seems like spaghetti is spaghetti to fluffies, no matter how crappy it is.
>You offer her one of your own noodles in exchange for hers.
>She opens her mouth and you lower it in.
>She happily noms on it without indicating it’s any better than her own spaghetti.
>Yep, they definitely can’t tell the difference.
>You make a note to start buying the absolute cheapest brand when you get home.
>Once the meal is done and Marigold’s face is once again clean thanks to some moist towelettes (that apparently were moist enough to drown a few fluffies already), you’re both ready to hit the rides again.
>You find yourself gravitating towards the merry go-round.
>They even have horses modeled after G3 My Little Ponies.
>Adorable. Too bad there isn’t a Rarity. You fucking love Rarity.
>You put Marigold down on a Rainbow Dash, who is currently dressing in style.
>You carefully strap her in and tell her to hold on as best as she can.
>She’s a fluffy pony, so that’s asking a bit much.
>But she enjoys the ride, giggling the entire time as the carousel slowly spins around and Rainbow Dash (with her stylin’ hat) gently bobs her up and down.
>She enjoys it so much she begs you to let her ride again. Twice.
>Eh, no big deal. Fast Pass. Suck it, basic ticket commoners.
>After she’s had enough of that, you take her over to the big performance area, where Uni the Unicorn, beloved TV character of fluffies around the country, is about to put on a show.
>Marigold adores her. Every morning, she’s glued to the TV screen, singing and dancing along with Uni.
>She doesn’t even realize it’s just two chicks in a big fluffy suit.
>All she knows is that she wants to be just like Uni.
>Fine by you, since ‘Uni’ is a very polite ‘fluffy’ who always reminds her viewers to “wisten to Mummas and Daddehs!”
>You manage to grab a seat in the third row, close to the stage.
>Man, that Deluxe Package is fucking awesome. You’re beginning to consider getting whatever the equivalent is for Disney World next year and going there by yourself.
>Your sister wouldn’t mind taking care of Marigold. All she ever wants to do when she comes to visit is play with her anyway.
>As the seating area quickly fills, the floor space gets positively coated with wild fluffies, all eager to see Uni.
>You surmise from their exciting babyspeak that many of them made the trip just to see her.
>They’re lucky the park is letting them in at all, considering they don’t have any money.
>Then again, turning them away or killing them would have looked terrible on TV, especially on opening day.
>That fat fuck of a mayor looked like he was about to have a brain aneurysm at the ribbon cutting ceremony.
>What was his name? Hamfist?
>Teehee.
>Oh look, the show’s starting.
>Uni walks on stage, singing the Journey song that had become her theme for the last few months.
>Her normal episodes had been replaced with footage of her making her way across the nation, from California to Cleveland, stopping at key points every week.
>Pretty creative way to advertise, really.
>But it had an unexpected consequence.
>TONS of stray fluffies from the cities had embarked upon an epic quest to follow Uni wherever she went.
>Her stops at cities and landmarks only further helped the herds to find their way.
>Of course, it was a goddamn Smörgåsbord for abusers, who hit the road (and the fluffies), leaving a trail of destruction.
>But there were also plenty of good people who would ride alongside the herds, giving them food and water and words of encouragement.
>Most of the fluffies probably would never have made it through the southern regions without the help.
>”Hewwo, fwends! Uni wuv aww yoo good fwuffies!”
>All the fluffies in the crowd cheer. Marigold waves her hooves in the air, hoping to get Uni’s attention.
>You see a lot of the feral stallions are humping the ground furiously, many of them trying to climb over the divider.
>You pick up Marigold and hold her closely.
>You’re not about to let another trip end with a pregnancy.
>Man, your sister was in so much trouble after that vacation to the Grand Canyon.
>Well, that was fun.
>You even found yourself dancing and singing along with Uni as you held Marigold in your arms.
>After the show is a photo op with Uni for VIPs.
>Hey look, you’re a VIP. Deluxe Package, baby.
>When you tell Marigold she’s about to meet Uni, she goes apeshit. Not literally, since you gave her another dose of that sonic emitter booth before going to the show, but you know what I mean.
>She runs in circles around your legs.
>”Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni! Uni!”
>Great, now your legs are tangled.
>The Uni meet is in a fairly unremarkable building.
>Probably to keep all those feral stallions away.
>No shortage of footage on the Internet of Uni getting gangraped by hordes of horny herds.
>Hordes of horny herds hitting the height of hardcore happiness by humping a humongous hirsute horse hiding horrified hapless humans.
>You flash your Deluxe card to the guy at the door and he lets you in.
>Uni’s just standing there, a line of eager fluffies at her side, and a photographer to take pictures.
>The fluffies and their owners walk up, and Uni greets them. The fluffies will babble something back, give Uni a big hug, then smile for the camera.
>Pretty much like the photo ops for Disney characters back when you were little.
>As a kid, you always marveled at how big Mickey Mouse was, because he never looked so big in his cartoons.
>Of course, now you know it was just a guy in a costume.
>Not that the fluffies will ever figure that one out with Uni.
>You’re behind some guy with a blue pegasus fluffy.
>”Man, they’ve pulled out all the stops for this place, am I right?”
>”Tell me about it. Bravo here’s been having the time of his life. Well, after the Good Fluffy Ride.”
>”Oh, you went on that one too? What did you set it to?”
>”Extreme”
>You raise an eyebrow. “Yikes. Was he misbehaving?”
>The guy smiles. “Not after, that’s for sure. That virtual fluffy got torn to shreds by some big shadowy monster. The graphics were amazing, too. You could see every drop of blood being spilled from its carcass. Why, what was your setting?”
>”Easy. Marigold here never misbehaves. The 3D fluffy just got lost after running outside. Still traumatizing enough for her.”
>”I bet. Pardon me, it’s our turn. Come on, Bravo! Let’s go meet Uni!”
>”Yay, wuv Uni! Wan be One Twu Spshaw Fwend!”
>A minute later, a slightly dejected Bravo is trundling out of the tent with his owner, and it’s Marigold’s turn.
>Marigold slowly approaches Uni.
>Uni looks down. “Hewwo, fwend! Yuu fwuff so pwetty! What fwuffy’s name?”
>Marigold laughs. “Fwuffy name Mawigowd!”
>”Mawigowd! So pwetty name fo pwetty fwuffy! You haf wotsa fun in Sketti Wand?”
>Marigold nods furiously. “Dere be wides, and-and games, and pway, and…and…SKETTIS!”
>She hugs your leg. “Daddy is best Daddy! Wuv Daddy fo’ take Mawigowd to Sketti Wand!”
>Uni laughs. “Mawigowd vewwy wucky, haf such good Daddy! Awways be good to Daddy, because Daddy wuv yuu!”
>Marigold tells Uni all about the rides she’s been on, and all the yummy spaghetti she’s eaten. Uni promises to get some spaghetti later, then gives Marigold a great big hug.
>You put your arm around Uni’s neck as you all pose for a photo.
>Goddamn, that’s some soft fluff.
>No wonder every stallion under the sun wants to tap that.
>You lean in to her ear and mutter “This must get tiring after awhile.”
>You can hear a woman’s voice whispering under the suit, not through Uni’s mouth speaker.
>”I’m just glad they let the ferals in. Some of them have been following us all the way from California.”
>Then the mouth speaker turns back on.
>”Otay, Mawigowd. Uni wishes she could stay and pway wif yuu, but haf so many fwends to give huggies to! Mawigowd go haf mo’ fun in Sketti Wand, okay?”
>”Kay! Fank yoo, Uni! Wuv yuu!”
>Uni waves. “Uni wuv Mawigowd! You is good fwend!”
>Another go on the merry go-round and a quick trip to Spaghetti Tower later, and Marigold’s all tuckered out.
>You carry her towards the gate as she mumbles “Nuu, Mawigowd no sweepy, no wan weave Sketti Wand…” while yawning.
>”Let’s go back to the hotel, honey. We’ll come back tomorrow, okay? It’ll all be here when we come back.”
>”Yayyyy…” Marigold is starting to drift off into sleep.
>She snoozes during the trip back to the hotel.
>You lay her in her bed, and she curls up into a ball, mumbling the Uni theme song in her sleep.
>You fall onto your own bed and turn on the TV.
>Breaking news. There are a lot more fluffies than expected headed towards Cleveland.
>Ohio is reporting record highs of herd sightings, and a whole lot of so-called ‘mega herds’ have been seen crossing the country.
>That’s not good. Cleveland better have some good exterminators.
>Good thing you’re only here for the weekend. Today wasn’t too bad, and you saw the park workers collecting the ferals and putting them in trucks that had the labels of local shelters painted on the sides.
>Even if they’re just a front, and those fluffies are going off to be exterminated, at least they’ll have died after reaching their promised land, spending their last day in happiness.
>Which is more than can be said for all those poor little fluffballs that didn’t survive the trip.
>If they can keep most of the wild fluffies away from Spaghetti Land, this’ll be a pleasant vacation.
>Then the power goes out.
>You just lay there in the darkness, silent save for Marigold’s soft snoozing.
>How can an entire hotel lose power?
>You get up and make your way over to the window.
>You bang your shin on the dresser.
>It takes all of your willpower not to unleash a string of profanity across the room. Best not to wake Marigold in this blackness. She’d just get scared.
>You open the blinds and find that it’s not just the hotel. Most of Cleveland has blacked out.
>Well, not all of Cleveland. Spaghetti Land is still lit up for the most part. They must be on a separate power source.
>After a few minutes, the power returns.
>Odd.
>You make sure everything’s still working.
>The TV is now reporting on the blackout.
>Seems like the Perry Nuclear Power Plant is dealing with a massive fluffy invasion that’s causing serious problems with the energy production.
>You guess more pilgrims on the Spaghetti Land Trail.
>Then the power goes out again.
>You might consider cutting the trip short a bit.
