Mercury Meets the Fluffy Venus
>You are Mercury, fastest fluffy pony to ever lay hooves to ground.
>You’ve traveled south across the “Big Wed Fowests” to deliver a message to fluffies who would hear you.
>When you hit the “Biggest Sawty Wa-Was” you turned left, and started running again.
>You only stop to eat, drink, and tell fluffies of the glorious news. The land of Hugs and Spagehtti is real.
>And it is to the east.
>Some silly fluffies can’t tell the east from the west, and head toward the big salty water, but that’s their problem.
>A old fluffy name “Compass” taught you where to go. His human took him all over the land, and he instantly recognized where you were talking about.
>You remember his words clear as day.
>Follow the big bright ball rises over the big hills until you reach the other big hills.
>Follow the big hills left of big ball rise till you reach the biggest good waters.
>Then follow the biggest waters away from the bright ball rise till you reach the promised land.
>Compass wouldn’t come with you because he was so very old, but you thanked him, and promised to give his directions to those who would listen.
>You’ve told countless fluffies about Spaghetti land and of Compass.
>Many wanted to follow you, but couldn’t keep up. You told the smarty friends to stay with their herds, and spread the word.
>Today, you’re crossing the hot yellow lands, and it is unbelievably hot.
>You take shelter under a herd of sleeping big squishing munsters. It’s dangerous, sure, but there’s nowhere else to hide from the burning bright ball.
>As you doze off to sleep, a slamming door catches your ear.
>“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” says a loud scary man. “Natasha! Sarah! Get your asses in the Uni-suit! This car dealership just wants a thirty second commercial, so we should be done in an hour.”
>“‘Come see the southwest,’ they said,” says a nice sounding lady’s voice. “‘It’s a dry heat’ they said. Well it’s still hot!”
>“At least this suits water cooled,” says another lady. “Let’s get this over with, get our check and be done.”
>You peek out from beneath the sleeping munster to see the most beautiful fluffy ever.
>She’s a pure white unicorn with the most gorgeous mane you’ve ever seen. And she’s huge! Biggest than a hundred fluffies in a pile!
>Your little heart races as you approach her. Would a beauty such as her even need to go to the promised land? A million fluffies would serve her at the slightest wish!
>Take a deep breath. This is your destiny. Stride with pride from beneath the munster, and approach the gorgeous, sexy unicorn.
>“Big fwiend!” you say. “Haf bestest news!”
>“Uh oh,” says the second nice lady voice from somewhere. “Feral.”
>“Uh… Hewwo wittew fwiend!” says the big fluffy unicorn. “Wheh you mummy?”
>Those eyes! Those eyes just call at you with their siren song.
>NO! You have to tell her the good news, even though you want to special hug her so bad you no-no’s hurt.
>“Deh…” now you’re shaking and nervous. Come on, Mercury, fluffy up! You can do this!
>“Deh a pwace wheh aww good fwuffies be safe!” you blurt out. “Sketti Wand is weal! Pwace wheh piwe of sketti biwwon fwuffies high!”
>Keep it together, Mercury. You’re doing great.
>“Go to bwight baww tiww big hiwws, den weft, den fowwow big good wa-was way fwom biwight baww wise!”
>There! Message delivered!
>Now you need to convince her to join you.
>“Big pwetty fwuffy wan come wif Mecuwy, teww aww da fwuffies bout it?”
>“The hell is he saying?” asks the second nice lady. Where is she anyway?
>“Uh… Nu tank you, Mecuwy! Uni haf go see hoomans, bu I teww aww fwuffies bout it!”
>Your little heart breaks for a moment, and a single tear rolls down your cheek.
>Of course she wouldn’t want to come with you. This glorious mare deserves the bestest smarty friend, not just the fastest fluffy.
>“Tank you… Uni,” you sniffle. "Pwomise I see you deh, and we be fwiends??
>“Pwomise!” says Uni.
>You decide to press your luck. “Can haf huggies?”
>She reaches down and gives you a hug. Her fluff is so soft, and gives you such naughty thoughts!
>But she isn’t your special friend, and no matter how much your no-nos ache for her, you don’t deserve her.
>You step away from the goddess with your head held as high as you can.
>And then, you start running again. You are the fastest fluffy alive, fast enough to tell every fluffy about the Land of Hugs and Spaghettis.
>You are Mercury.
>And you will lead fluffies to Spaghetti Land if it’s the last thing you do.
13 Likes