Chapter VII: Moulded, Broken
Previous Chapter: Chapter VI
Fenrir ate his meal, but couldn’t help near constant glances at Alex, who was lying, eyes glassed over and staring at the food in the bowl in front of him. No, looking closer, he could see him looking beyond the food, as though it wasn’t even there.
‘Daddeh, wai Awex nu wan nummies? Nee’ huggies?’ Fenrir, now finished with dinner slowly sauntered towards Mark, and looked up to him, asking in a confused timbre.
Mark could tell that the fiery coloured stallion was deeply distraught, practically comatose. He responded, at times. But he knew that those responses were like those of someone in a fugue state, detached and without awareness.
Alex had ceased from his constant stammering, no longer repeating the plaintive phrase ‘nu wan’, but still he made no sign of connection with the world around him. ‘I don’t know Fenrir, but I think we should give him some time. Don’t bother him right now, I’m not sure he’s safe to be around.’ Mark wasn’t taking chances. Although he wanted to help Alex, his current state was an unknown quantity. He wanted to test the waters.
‘Wat Fenwiwr do, daddeh? Wan hewp fwuffy. Wen see Awex wike dis, make Fenwiwr hab saddies.’ Fenrir had soft eyes, and a downcast expression on his face.
‘Buddy, I know. It really sucks, but if we’re going to help him, we have to give him space and time.’ Mark really wanted to think of something, but it wasn’t coming easy.
Mark decided to try to let sleeping fluffies lie, as it were. He entreated Fenrir to watch some TV with him for a while, before heading to bed. He felt he daren’t move Alex, at least for tonight. But then again, seeing Fenrir hardly being able to keep his eyes on the TV knowing that every so often he’d begin to stare at Alex with those sad eyes, and flittering tail, he thought it might be a good idea to have Fenrir sleep with him. At the same time, he didn’t want Alex to be in the safe room, at least not for tonight. The one good moment, he managed to catch before he carried Fenrir off to bed. Alex moved a tiny bit, sniffed the food, and took one bite. Then, as quick as that moment came, it went. Alex returned to a pile of slowly heaving fluff on the floor.
Placing Fenrir on the second pillow on his bed, he pulled back the covers and dressed down for the night. Fenrir sat up, yawning, and asked him ‘Daddeh, nu go to safe woom? Sweep wid daddeh?’
‘Yeah, bud. I know I don’t sleep with you often, you’re a big fluffy now and don’t need me to sleep with, but with Alex here, at least for now, I think I want you in a place that I can see you, in case anything happens.’
‘Fenwiwr wub sweep wid daddeh, eben wen big fwuffy. Buh… wai am wowwy daddeh? Daddeh nu wike Awex?’ Fenrir wasn’t sure what had his daddy worried. When he looked at Alex, all he could see was pain, and sadness. He didn’t see anything scary.
‘That’s not it, Fenrir. I just think Alex has been somewhere really bad, you know, really seen some sh—I mean, he saw bad things that made him really sad. So, since I don’t know how he’d react if I moved him anywhere else tonight, I think he should stay where he is, and you should stay with me. I know it makes you feel bad to see him like that, so I’ll give you some hugs tonight, alright?’ Mark had shut the door to his bedroom, in case Alex managed to get up. He didn’t want any surprises while they slept.
‘Yay, daddeh huggies!’ Fenrir beamed, doing a little dance as Mark got into bed.
Curling up on his side, he placed an arm around Fenrir, holding him close. Fenrir cooed, quickly falling asleep. But Mark had trouble falling asleep, wondering what exactly was in store for him with this new arrival. After a long bout of pondering, Mark finally drifted off, and the answers to his questions would begin soon after he awoke. Mark was never a morning person. The morning would come, and the energy some people seemed to have when they woke up, yeah, Mark never had that. He just dragged himself, as well as he could, out of bed. Invariably he’d go with his routine: Drink some water from a glass he left by the bed, read some posts online, watch a video or two, and then putter away towards the kitchen to make coffee. This morning was no different, save for the fact that he had a stray, or perhaps a survivor of some sort in his living room. He shuffled his way to the door of his bedroom, and then caught a whiff of the stench emanating from the direction of the scruffy, matted mess of a fluffy he left the evening before.
‘Yeesh, and I thought Fenrir smelt bad when I first brought him home.’ Mark talked out loud, but he knew it was unlikely Alex would hear him, and even if he did, he’d probably not know he was talking about him. He could see Alex lying on the blankets in the living room and he hadn’t really moved from where he was last night. Interestingly enough, he had eaten the food. Mark wasn’t sure how long it took, but somehow, he managed it. The other problem was the shit and piss that had left him in the night. It was clear Alex wasn’t really capable of understanding the situation, let alone do anything about it, so Mark wasn’t mad at him. But he was sure as hell frustrated. ‘I guess this is what people mean when they say fluffies are half shit’ he muttered to himself.
He made coffee, had some peanut butter on toast, and then figured he’d get to work. First things first, Alex had to be bathed. There was no way he could leave him lying around in his own filth like that, and no way Mark wanted to smell it either. He donned some gloves and lifted Alex from the makeshift bed he’d made the night before. This yielded nothing more than grunts from Alex, who still seemed mired in some kind of stupor. Placing him on the tile in the bathroom, Alex remained still, making no indication of protest.
Finally, he ran water for a bath, letting it fill up to a few inches, balancing the water to a lukewarm temperature he thought would be right, and placed Alex down into the tub. Alex did little more than flinch, before settling down quickly. Not a word was uttered, nor a peep. Seeing that Alex’s mouth was dangerously close to the water, Mark took a soap stand he had lying on the counter by the sink and placed it under Alex’s chin. This would prop up his head so that he could scrub the dirt, piss, and other filth from his fur. Gradually, he managed to scrub it out and it seemed to be gone, so Mark considered it a success. He kept another bucket handy, this one with clean water for rinsing. Pulling Alex carefully out of the tub, he placed him back on the tile, this time slowly pouring the bucket of water over Alex until he was thoroughly rinsed.
The scene reminded him of the first time he brought Fenrir home, although this time around, there was no real interactivity. While Fenrir had carried on a conversation, while he had been able to reach Fenrir and teach him about lots of new things in a short amount of time, this time was different. Alex still hadn’t broken out of his trance, and Mark wasn’t sure how long it would take. He grabbed a towel, and began drying him off. Then, grabbing a blow dryer, he brushed Alex’s fur out. This time, though, Alex did have a glimmer of response.
When Mark turned on the hair dryer and brought it to Alex’s fur, his eyes dilated and he flinched. Perhaps he was beginning to respond to external stimuli a bit more regularly. This, Mark thought, was a good sign. Naturally, hair dryers can startle, the noise being loud. And animals often get frightened of sudden loud noises. But, again, as quickly as it came, it seemed to settle back into the recesses of Alex’s mind. Now that Mark looked him over more closely, he noticed that the fluff was even more striking than he thought.
His wings were small, as were most fluffies’, but the vermillion colouring he’d seen was brighter, not dingy from filth, thanks to the cleansing bath. And what’s more, there were now brighter areas of colouring: His chest was a paler orange, almost a cream colour, in the shape of a heart, maybe an open v, tapering down to his groin. The hooves, too, had fluff that faded from this same cream orange colour into more of an eggshell at the top of the hoof. The tail and mane were similarly an off-white, eggshell, somewhat wavy, and shorter than Fenrir’s. As he finished brushing him, Mark realised he was lucky to have such interestingly coloured fluffies. He, at least, thought so.
The noise of the hair dryer, though not enough to break Alex from his trance, was enough to awaken Fenrir from his slumber. He gave a quick greeting from the doorway of the bathroom, as he watched Mark. ‘Daddeh, am gib Awex baff?’ He yawned.
‘Yeah, he was really dirty from being outside. I don’t know how long he was out there. He also made bad poopies in the living room.’ Fenrir got nervous at the words ‘bad poopies’.
‘Daddeh, Fenwiwr know Awex am sowwy, dun be maddies at Awex. Fenwiwr wiww teww Awex to make gud poopies.’ This made Mark roll his eyes a little, and it gave him an internal chuckle. ‘I know Fenrir. I’m not mad right now, remember, I told you Alex is not feeling well right now. He’s got…head hurties? Something like that.’
‘Otay daddeh, am suwe Awex wiww be gud.’ Fenrir trotted off to the kitchen, lapping up water while he waited for Mark to finish. Mark returned to the living room and gathered the blankets, putting them in a garbage bag. He gathered some old ones from the linen cupboard and placed them in the safe room, this time hoping that he could trust Alex not to do anything damaging. To be on the safe side, he also got an absorbent pad from the unused supplies he got from FluffMart. He’d never had to use it for Fenrir, as Fenrir had been very good about only using the litter box or going outdoors on their walks. But Mark thought it’d be good to keep them in case there was ever a time when Fenrir was ill and might not be able to make it. He didn’t really know if there’d be a use, but it wouldn’t hurt. It was with the other fluffy paraphernalia anyway.
Heading back to the bathroom, he scooped up Alex, holding him like a baby in his arms, and brought him to the safe room. While holding him, Mark noticed that at one point, Alex began to look him in the eyes, as though he were trying to see him, study him. Still he made no sounds, nor moved. Placing him in the blankets opposite Fenrir’s sleeping bed, he positioned him carefully, ensuring that his rear was hanging over the pad he placed right behind the blankets that were to be his temporary bed. He’d head to FluffMart soon and pick him up another one, as he figured he’d need it.
Now, he figured, he’d make some breakfast for the two fluffs. He whipped up some omelettes, and cut them up into smaller pieces. Placing one bowl on the floor near Fenrir to the familiar sound of 'tank ‘ou daddeh’. He patted Fenrir and headed to the safe room to leave the second for Alex, and while placing it in front of him, he saw Alex glance at it. Turning, he moved to exit the room when he heard a faint word from behind. ‘Num…’ then a cough. Mark stopped for a moment, but then resumed his walking, shutting the gate behind him, he gave one last glance towards Alex. He hadn’t moved yet, but things seemed like they were beginning to shift.
Mark decided to phone in work and let them know he needed a few days of vacation time. Luckily, his employer was a small publishing company and his boss, the owner, was on rather familiar terms with him. This meant he could phone in to request things like family leave and she’d hardly bat an eye. This, of course, mostly being due to the fact that Mark never asked for time off. Some of his coworkers always had some reason they needed time off, but not Mark. He just let it pile up. He didn’t have to use it by a particular amount of time, so he could save it for a rainy day. The business was never slogged, but they had really steady customers. He knew he’d probably not have a problem cashing in one of these days. One of those days happened to be today, as he wanted to be sure he could watch over this little fluffy.
Over the course of the day, Mark tried to keep Fenrir occupied by bringing him his ball to play with in the living room. He told him he could play, if he’d be careful. They watched TV, bouncing between animated shows, animal shows, and classic sci-fi. Mark had to get his fix in somewhere. But between episodes, he checked on Alex. After about two hours, it looked like he’d finished his meal. And each time he looked in on him, Alex turned his gaze towards Mark. Mark could see the apprehension in his eyes, and behind them, he wondered what set of circumstance befell Alex to occupy his mind so pervasively as to leave him this broken. Half the day over, with this cycle continuing, Mark figured it might be worth it to see if Fenrir could make headway.
‘Fenrir, do you want to play in your room? I bet you miss your other toys, your bed, and all the fun things in there.’
'Fenwiwr can gu woomsies? Tank ‘ou daddeh! Can see Awex!’ Fenrir was excited. He just knew Alex was going to want to play. He trotted happily along the floor, kicking the ball towards his room as Mark opened the gate to let him inside. He was hoping Fenrir’s presence might stimulate some sort of reaction in Alex, bringing him out of his shock—whatever fixation, currently implacable. Fenrir didn’t waste time greeting Alex.
‘Awex, hewwo! Am nyu fwend Fenwiwr, wan pway?’ Fenrir lilted, extra sweetly in his prodding. Mark had noticed he was good at pouring it on, though he wondered if Fenrir would be perceptive enough should a hostile fluffy or creature meet his cheerful and optimistic demeanour.
To Mark’s surprise, though, Alex began to come out of his stupor. Suddenly, he shifted a bit, moving his head he glanced at Fenrir nudging the ball around the room grabbing it and rolling over on his back, laughing.
‘Fen…?’ Alex uttered, or tried to utter his name. Mark and Fenrir both looked quickly at Alex, Mark giving a sigh of relief, while Fenrir lit up, smiling.
‘Nyu fwend!’ Fenrir called out, running over to Alex. He leaned in to give him a hug, but Alex pulled back, shaking. He looked visibly afraid, or so Mark thought. Inside, Alex was growing more and more stressed and the pain seemed to grow with each passing hour.
Alex saw Mark, and Fenrir, from the beginning. In his mind, cycling between his inabilty to cope and his mind being unable to process the idea that the horrors he endured could ever be worse, he wanted to call out to both of them.
Nyu daddeh? Fwen? Fenwiwr? Am Awex! … Wai tawkie pwace nu wowk? Pwease wowk! … Buh, dunno, dat am stawwion hoomin! Stawwion hoomin am su meanies. Wiww huwt Awex? Weggies, wun! Pwease wowk weggies!
His mind continued to try to process what he could see and hear, but would not let him express.
Eawfy stawwion wike hoomin munstah? Nu am munstah?
His fear escalated again as Mark picked him up to carry him home.
Nuu, bad upsies! Dun huwt Awex! … Buh … nu bad upsies? Am huggies? Hoomin nice mistah?
He began to relax, this being the only tender embrace a human had ever given. The human gave him a nestie and foods, in a warm housie. Why was his thinkie place being dummeh?
Tinkie pwace, pwease, wowk foww fwuffy. Nyu daddeh am nice daddeh, wan gib huggies an tank nice mistah!
His mind seemed to be fighting him, and he began to feel more and more tired. Finally, the human and other fluffy had left him alone in the room. It was warm, the blankets were warm. And there was food! He wanted to eat so badly, but his legs wouldn’t move! His mouth wouldn’t move.
Weggies pwease! Tawkie pwace, pwease num foww fwuffy! He kept repeating this in his mind, over and over. Gradually he inched over to the bowl, finally, if slowly, chewing the food. It was very good food! It was so nummy, but he had to try so hard to eat it. It was as though every ounce of strength he had to pour into the simple act of eating. It was exhausting, and he felt pain starting to grow in his body.
Am suu tiwed, wai huwties. It began to make him want to cry, but his see places wouldn’t make any sad wawas. Eventually, he finally finished the meal and quite easily passed out from the ordeal, getting the first real sleep he’d had in days.
But then he awoke to more fear and an uncomfortable feeling. Nu! Nu make bad poopies, dis am nu poopie twoff! He was shitting uncontrollably on the blankets behind him, filling him with fear. The trough in the pens was the only place the humans would let the fluffies relieve themselves. They put them in the sorry box if they ever made bad poopies elsewhere. He knew the new human would not care for him anymore if he saw the bad poopies!
Nu poopie pwace, wai make bad poopies… huu… wan cwy… feew su not pwetty. Hoomin wiww hate fwuffy, wiww caww bad fwuffy. Wai nu wowk wite, Awex. Wai?
Alex could only sit and wait. Mark eventually came into the room, and made a bad face as he entered. Alex then saw him looking at him. He saw the bad poopies! Nu nice mistah, pwease, am sowwy, dun huwt Awex, pwease. Alex wanted to plead with Mark, but he could only lie there.
Surprisingly, the human didn’t hit him. He didn’t call him bad. He just came back some time later and took him into a cold, hard room. He sat him on the cold floor, and it made him miss the warm blankets. Gwound am su cowd… buh nu wook wike sowwy bawks… He heard the water begin to run, and saw Mark running his hand under it. Nu, nice mistah, pwease nu hosies. Nu bad wawa! Wiww be gud!
The fear began to build, remembering the hoses the humans at the mill would use to ‘wash’ the fluffies. They were little more than water hoses with mild pressure, cold of course, that they would use to spray them down with once in a while to manage the filth, but mostly the smell.
To his surprise though, Mark did not hose him down. Placing him in the tub, the water now off, Alex’s apprehension still high, he finally reached the water. It was warm!
Wuh? Am nu bad wawas? Nu am sinkies? He felt Mark rub him and run the warm water over his fluff. Nu huwties? Smeww… pwetty? Woundie tings am pwetty too. He was looking at the bubbles from the soap, watching them move around and float in the air. Alex was still unaware that he was beginning withdrawal from his hormone injections, the fatigue and pain building being symptoms of the hormone’s absence, his body unable to adjust, being on them for so long. The bath felt good, giving him minor relief from the pain—for a time.
As Mark finished his bathing, he recoiled as the hair dryer started. Eep! Wuh am scawy noisies? Wai scawe fwuffy, make fwuffy wan wun away fwum munstah. Buh… weggie an hed am move? He felt them move for a brief moment. He tried again. Wowk weggies! Wowk tawkie pwace! He kept trying to move, distracted from the grooming Mark was giving him. But it wasn’t working, so, once again being so tired, he gave up.
Then he saw Fenrir, if only for a minute.
Nyu fwen! Awex wan teww hewwo! Wan hug, wan pway! But still, he couldn’t manage a single peep, let alone run, hug or play. This continued to make him very depressed. It was all so exhausting!
Suddenly, the human picked him up. This reminded him that he was being groomed by the human, like a mummah would do for a babbeh. Wewe gu, nyu daddeh? Awex… feew weewy pwetty. Nu feew icky, nu smeww baddies? Wub cweanies… This was a small bit of comfort to Alex’s current state, but he didn’t know where the human was taking him.
They moved to a new room, it was bright and had lots of small things. Something looked like a blanket, but, not quite. He saw a round thing, it was very pretty. And not round things, scattered near each other. There were four of them? He’d never seen so many things before. The human set him down again, making another nest for him with blankets. He wanted to thank the nice mister, but still, his talkie place wouldn’t work. He looked on in resignation, as the human placed a weird blanket behind him.
Wat am dis? Dunno, am at poopie pwace… mebbeh am wike twoff? He pondered this. Noticing Mark’s glance as he left, the human told him he’d be back later with food. Moww nummies? Tank 'ou nyu daddeh! Well, he wanted to say this, but still he could not. He mustered a glance at Mark each time he returned, and he worked really hard to eat the nummies he left. They were really good, but he really didn’t want to move any more. His leggies were really starting to hurt, his thinkie place was hurting.
He felt soreness and pain everywhere, and he started to tremble. Wai huwties su muchies… wai hab tummeh huwties, tinkie pwace huwties, weggie huwties. Aww is huwties! Huu… He was so tired, and it was frustrating that he could start to move, but each time he did, it hurt more!
Not long after he finished his food, Alex was feeling tired. Then he saw the nice mister come back. He tried to call out to him, he could almost feel his talkie place try to work again. Nyu daddeh, am twyin’. Pwease, pwease wowkies tawkie pwace! Glancing at Mark, barely moving his head, he could see Mark looking back. But once again, he walked away. Not long after, Fenrir returned to the room this time with Mark. This made Alex excited, hopeful. But he was shaking more, still not very perceptible to anyone but himself, but it was getting worse.
Fenrir was talking to him! He wanted to play too. This made Alex very happy and he tried to respond. Yus! Hewwo fwen, Awex wan pway… wan pway! Tawkie pwace, WOWK FOWW AWEX! He could hear himself grunting internally, when finally, it came out, just a half word at first, but getting the first bit of Fenrir’s name out made everyone in the room happy. For a brief moment, he felt so much better. Fenrir ran to give him a hug and he was so excited, but then Fenrir touched him. It… hurt! It made him recoil in pain.
Fenrir was surprised, worried. Now though, Alex mustered enough willpower to start coming out of his mental fog, and he began to slowly talk.
‘Fen… wiw. Awex… sowwy. Nu mean to… nu gib huggies. Hab su many huwties. Aww am huwt, weggies, tummy, backies, headsies, aww move, and aww huwt su muchies.’ Mark began to decode what Alex was saying as he spoke. Relieved though he was to hear Alex manage conversation of any kind, Mark’s earlier guess of it merely being a mental problem began to evaporate. It sounds like he’s saying he’s in a lot of pain, and he’s…moving. Moving? Could it be like tremors?
Mark decided to ask a bit more. ‘Alex, I’m so glad to hear you talk. I don’t know how you’re feeling right now, but it sounds like you’re hurting. When you say your legs and body are moving, is it really fast, and really small?’
Alex pondered the question, but he thought that his new daddy might be right. 'Awex… am tink su. Buh… ow… ’ he began to sob. ‘Owwww, owwies, wowstest huwties! HUUU HUUU EEEE!!!’ Alex was screeching now, like a flood of pain had hit him.
Jesus fucking christ, what’s going on? Mark was genuinely dumbfounded, and he had no idea what to do. He watched as Alex shat violently behind him, kicking and shaking, crying 'Nuuuu pwease… nu wan, nu smeww pwetty, pwease dun du dis poopie pwace… weggies wai su much huwties… huuuu huuuu… ’ Alex was grimacing, sobbing in pain. The pad had indeed caught most of the eruption, but Mark was focused on trying to figure out what he could do.
He felt he had no choice, he’d have to call Dr. Neustadt. She had seen Fenrir a couple of times for follow-ups and Mark decided to make her his vet doctor going forward. She’d never seen Alex, obviously, but had told Mark that if an emergency ever came up, to call her right away. The time was getting late in the evening, but the sun hadn’t gone down too long ago, and he figured he had to risk that call.
He quickly traced his contacts and dialled. ‘Hello?’ she answered, uncertain of the number. ‘Dr. Neustadt, this is Mark Silvan. I’m terribly sorry to call you at this hour, but this is a bit of an emergency.’
‘Mark! That’s perfectly alright, I’ll make a note of your number, but never mind that. What’s going on? I hear pained noises in the background. Did something happen to Fenrir?’ Alex was sobbing, alternating between shouting and writhing and sobbing hysterically.
‘No, Fenrir’s quite alright. I… found a fluffy stallion while we were out walking, and he’s in really rough shape.’ She gave out a suppressed chuckle as she heard this. Sighing, she replied ‘Mark, you sure get yourself into this on your own don’t you?’ With a mental facepalm, and his hand slightly muffling his mouth, all he could say was ‘Yeah… yeah, I do.’
‘Well, what’s going on? I can tell he’s in pain. Did you get any idea of what his symptoms are? I don’t normally make house calls, but I can in a situation like this. Run me through what you know, and I’ll head over there.’
Mark looked over at Alex as he spoke. He saw Fenrir now cradling Alex’s head on his lap, trying to give him pets, having heard Alex say that huggies were hurting. ‘He said that the pain kept getting worse, and that he was shaking. I didn’t see it when he arrived, but I can clearly see he’s trembling now. When he arrived he was practically comatose. I couldn’t get a word out of him, he was repeating the same phrase over and over curled into a ball in an alley when I found him.’
Dr. Neustadt took a moment to collect her thoughts after listening. ‘Well, it sounds like he was in shock. That much is clear. I’m sure you surmised as well. The pain, though, that’s a bit of a mystery. We’ll have to get him in to clinic first thing, but tonight I’m afraid he’ll have to remain with you. We don’t have staff there until 06:00. That’s the best I can do, I’m afraid.’
Mark was relieved she was someone he could talk to in this situation, that was more than enough. What’s more, she had offered to come and give Alex a preliminary exam at his house. ‘But don’t worry, Mark’ she continued, ‘I’m heading out the door with a medic bag as we speak. Can you text me your address?’
‘Sure thing’ Mark replied, sending it to her. ‘Thank you. The medic bag has pain medication which should help him through the pain until we can get a better strategy sorted in the morning. I’ve also got some anti-anxiety medication which could help, too. We’ll have to be very careful though, as fluffies are notoriously sensitive to almost anything you can imagine.’
‘Doctor Neustadt’ Mark greeted the doctor as he let her in, the sounds of sobbing faint in the background.
‘This sounds like the place’ she responded, wryly. ‘Sorry, doctors’ humour. It doesn’t really work well. You especially don’t want to mention deadpan in a morgue.’ Mark was giving her a cocked eyebrow.
‘Right, anyway, you don’t have to call me by my last name all the time. I never introduced myself well, I know, but I’m Linda.’
‘Oh, that’s true’ Mark replied, pondering how he’d forgotten to ever ask. ‘Nice to be introduced, Linda.’
‘You can call me doctor, though’ she responded, curtly.
‘Oh uhh…’ Mark began to feel awkward. ‘I’m kidding! Show me where the little guy is, I should probably have a look at him.’ Linda was already making her way to the hallway, Mark following close behind.
‘He’s right through there, door on the right. Fenrir’s in there with him. He told me he wanted to try and make him stop hurting. Of course there’s little he can do.’ Mark sighed, as he followed Linda into the safe room.
Alex’s sobbing head lying on Fenrir’s lap, he turned his head to greet Linda, shifting his hind legs with his half sitting posture. ‘Hewwo ‘gin nice wady, Awex am hab wowst feews and huwties. Can hewp wike hewped Fenwiwr?’
‘I’m going to try, buddy. Can I come sit with you and take a look at him?’ she responded, making a move to sit down as she placed the bag beside her. ‘Yus nice wady.’ Fenrir placed Alex’s head back on the pillow.
Between shaky wheezes and sobs, Alex tried to speak as well. ‘Huu… nice wady… su huwties… pwease hewp, nice wady… hewp? hnngh huuu…’
‘I’m certainly going to try. Can I touch you? I need to feel your legs and your tummy in places, okay?’ ‘O-otay. Huu… hewp fwuffy.’
She felt Alex’s pulse—rapid, a bit thready. She felt his legs, his stomach, each press making Alex cry slightly harder, trying to suppress yelps against the agonising sensation of any pressure applied to his body. She looked at his eyes, dilated from stress and pain. The coat looked healthy, though his testicles looked smaller than normal. Then she started noticing scars on his rump, needle puncture marks, too. Some of them were still healing. That’s when she knew.
‘Oh man’ she sighed. Mark was alerted. ‘What is it? Do you know?’ he asked, impatiently.
‘Well I’m not 100% sure yet. But I’ve seen things like this before. I’ll run some blood tests on him tomorrow, but it does look familiar. If I had to wager, he’s been in a mill.’ Alex had no idea where he was before. His pain was too much to ignore, and trying to listen to any human wordies much more than greetings and questions he felt would be absolutely hopeless. Mark was surprised, though. He’d heard about mills before, but that was for things like puppies, kittens. They had them for fluffies?
‘A mill? You mean like a puppy mill?’ he asked, curious. ‘Yeah, same kind of idea, but since fluffies aren’t even afforded animal rights, no one steps in as far as authorities are concerned. They can be horrific, or they can be relatively benign in terms of abuse. It really varies. As for this guy, he seems to have been somewhere on the worse end of things, but not as bad as it could have been.’
Damn, this wasn’t that bad? It could really get worse?
‘So they made him like this?’ Mark had to ask.
‘Well, yes and no’ Linda replied. ‘You see, they want the operation to be continuous. The mares are never given rest except when nursing, and even that’s for the minimum amount they deem necessary. The stallions kept to breed are fed androgen hormones, usually in injections. That drives them to mate more frequently, and also has the side benefit of inducing erections even if they’re not wanting to mate. What you’re seeing here is the withdrawal from that hormone supplement. Hormonal manipulation can be therapeutic for various conditions, in humans, too. But it can also have horrific consequences. Him stopping so suddenly, not having any more injections due to being away from the mill, has meant his body has no idea how to regulate itself any more. It’s like if he was dependant on painkillers for years, only to have them gone one day. The body is flooded with pain, inflammation, all these things the brain was shielded from. In his case the androgens act like replacements for his natural production, only amped up. Then the body flushes it out within days and it’s an enormous shock to his entire body.’
‘Damn, that sounds horrible.’ Mark was dismayed.
‘I know, it’s terrible. I can’t give him what he needs to wean naturally back to what his body can do on its own right now, but I can give him pain medication and a mild sedative. That should help until we get him in for results in the morning.’ Linda opened her bag, and got a couple of syringes out. Mark knew it was the best option for now.
‘Alright doc, do what you can.’ Mark placed his hand to his mouth again as he leaned against the wall.
Linda turned and placed the syringes by Alex. Softly, she decided to try to ask him to relax. ‘Alex, buddy, I know you’re in a lot of pain. I have some medicine here that will make you not hurt. And I have some more that will make you feel less scared and sad.’ She lifted one of the syringes, Alex becoming wide-eyed. He knew what those were. ‘Can I give you the medicine? It’ll pinch, but it will work really quickly and you’ll feel better.’
‘NUUUUUUU. Nu bad hoomin majik. Pwease nice wady. Pwease! Pwease nu huwt Awex! Nu wan bad enfies. Nu wan! Wiww be gud!’ Alex began writhing and crying uncontrollably.
Fenrir, who had been quietly listening and watching Alex became very afraid himself. He wanted to place his hooves over his eyes, he didn’t understand why Alex was so scared!
Linda didn’t quite expect such a strong reaction. Quickly trying to come up with a solution other than forcing him herself, she turned to Fenrir. ‘Fenrir, you know I wouldn’t hurt you, right? I won’t hurt Alex either, okay?’
Fenrir softly replied, somewhat hesitant. ‘Y-yus nice wady. Fenwiwr know am nice wady.’
‘Thank you, Fenrir. Could you hold Alex a bit for me? Just hold his front hooves with yours. Tell him it will be okay, I won’t hurt him.’ Alex was too scared to even look near her. Fenrir slowly walked to Alex and touched his hooves to his own, and waited until Alex looked in his eyes. ‘Awex, Fenwiwr know dis am gud wady. Am nice wady, nice wady hewp Fenwiwr an wastest sissy. Fenwiwr pwomise wiww hewp Awex.’
Alex began to calm down. Sniffling, he tried to imprint that trust Fenrir had in his eyes into himself. ‘Weewy? Nu huwt? Nu bad enfies?’
Fenrir really didn’t know what enfies had to do with anything, but he just gave a reassuring smile. ‘Yus Awex. Nu huwt.’
While Alex was focused on him, Linda quickly stuck the pain reliever in his rump. He felt a slight pressure, and the pain began to go away. He didn’t even feel the needle for the sedative. Linda did use a mild one, and a small dose. She didn’t want to knock him out, but merely to allow him some respite from the anxiety and fear he’d been feeling.
Fenrir kept gazing into his eyes. Alex felt… nothing. The pain, it wasn’t there! It made him so happy. ‘Huu…’ he began to sob again. But this time it was out of happiness. 'Tank ‘ou nice wady, huwties am gone. Feew icky nu moww.’
Linda, Mark, Fenrir, and especially Alex were all quite relieved. But Linda knew it’d be a long night. Standing up, she turned to Mark. ‘What I gave him will last a few hours, but you’ll need to give him a couple of pills in some food six hours from now. They should keep the pain at bay until we can get him better medication in the morning. I’ve also got someone you might want to give a call. They specialise in non-traditional medicine, let’s say.’
Mark was intrigued. ‘Non-traditional? You’re a doctor, though.’
‘That’s true, but this is a special case. And considering Alex’s condition, I think I might recommend it.’
‘Right, I’ll check them out’ Mark replied, taking a card she pulled from her wallet.
‘I’ve done about all I can tonight, so I’ll head out. Keep him in a place you can clean up easily. He might have some other symptoms the medication can’t manage, like vomiting or defecating. You’d expect nothing less from fluffies anyway.’ She gathered her things and made her way for the door.
‘Thank you so much doctor. I’ll bring him in first thing’ Mark shot a final bit of pleasantry as he led her through the front door.
‘If anything happens, there’s a vet that has a 24 hour emergency facility. That card has their number. Until tomorrow, give him my best.’ Dr. Neustadt gave a last wave as she headed off.
Mark set the contact info on the end table by the door, and returned to check on Alex. He was resting, seemingly comfortably, flanked by Fenrir who was trying to hug him. He could tell Alex was breathing heavily, shivering, shaking visibly. Linda was right, he knew. He felt terrible for Alex, but knew that tomorrow would bring the promise of some sort of answers, and help. He signalled Fenrir as he walked a bit towards Alex.
Fenrir trotted over to him. ‘Yus daddeh?’ he asked, looking up from his feet.
‘I need to take Alex into the bathroom. I’m going to look after him overnight, because he’s still sick. I’ve got to give him medicine later, and he may have to make sicky wawas—that kind of thing. You can stay in your room and sleep. But, if you want to check on him later, I’ll leave the gate open for you. Don’t roam around, though. Just walk over to the bathroom if you really want. I’ll be there with Alex.’ Mark walked over to Alex, Fenrir and Alex both watching him shift across the room.
‘Otay daddeh. Pwomise onwy baffwoom.’ Fenrir slowly walked to his bed, deciding it’d be a good time for a nap.
‘Alex, I’m going to take you with me. I know you’re still not feeling well, and we need to get you into the bathroom so it’ll be okay if you feel worse and need to make sickies or poopies. It’s okay if you do, I understand how you feel.’ Mark calmly talked as he began to lift Alex into his arms.
‘O-otay n-nyu d-daddeh. Feew cowd, stiww hab tummeh sickies. Buh nice w-wady made nu huwties. Awex tank n-nyu daddeh an n-nice wady.’ Alex trembled in his arms, but clung to his chest as he walked him into the bathroom. Placing him in the tub for a moment, Mark gathered a few things from his bedroom to make the night go by easier, then returned and set up blankets and a pillow for Alex to lie on while he watched. He quickly cleaned up a bit in the safe room, and returned to the bathroom.
His setup roughly in order, Mark placed the still shaking Alex on the makeshift bed, and settled in for the night. ‘Alright Alex’ Mark began, ‘I’ll be here with you all night, if you feel like you need to make sickies or poopies, tell me, and I’ll bring you to the tub. Hang in there, we’ll see the nice lady again in the morning and she can make you better.’
Alex sighed, trembling on the floor, and sobbed ever so lightly. 'T-tank ‘ou mistah. Nu—nu wan sickies nu moww.’
This night, Mark hoped, would be the only night Alex would have to suffer so much.
Next Chapter: Chapter VIII