FKCD Research Breakthrough
Here at FKCD we have spent several years providing fluffy population control solutions and carrying out research into utilising fluffies in industry. We have spent a lot of time and money researching and reverse engineering the incomplete fluffy genetic source code as well as performing interrogations voluntary interviews of former Hasbio employees to unlock the potential of these cutting edge yet incomplete bioengineered products.
We have made a key breakthrough in the understanding of capability and manipulation of fluffy base âprogrammingâ, the brain of a fluffy is heavily genetically modified, some parts through established techniques of splicing, but other parts that were, until recently, a mystery. We have found entirely artificial neural structures that allow the insertion of human readable instructions into the fluffy, these structures are roughly analogous to a computer, which allow human like speech, pre-trained behaviour and product placements to be added to what we at FKCD have been calling âThe Coreâ
There is much Hasbio documentation on planned and in development alternatives to the standard toy fluffy which was their proof of concept and hoped cashcow. Now that we have control over these structures we can modify fluffys to perform specific tasks that might not be suitable for human or machine labour.
Examples currently in advanced testing
- Mine Clearance, Globally there are more than 50 million landines, which kill more than 20000 people per year, most of whom are civilians and children long after wars have ended. Demining efforts are expensive and severely lacking in poorer areas of the world. With a mineclearing specific instruction set inserted into the core and bred to be unicorns a fluffy will be driven to thoroughly explore the environment around them and headbutt disturbances, metallic objects and other such items indicative of mines in an attempt to set off the mine itself, a fluffy could also be fitted with a remote tracker and detonator to be used against larger anti-tank mines which are less likely to be set off by something the size of a fluffy.
You are Harold, a unicorn with an intense desire to explore around you, but inside the box your are currently stuck in there is little exploring to do beyond realising that there are dozens if not hundreds of similar fluffies to you all around you, 3 rows to your right and many more to the left and that you all are in a long loud tube. You are very bored cooped up like this but you are in âluckâ with a buzz and an alarm the wall of the tube opens and air rushes past, a human in a green jumpsuit walks past, and tips the first rack out of the aircraft, the fluffies within shrieking as they realise whats happening. One fluffy in the next rack manages to ask âwhaâ huumin doinâ fwuffeh nu wan fawl!â before they too are tipped out of the plane. They move to the next rack where another fluffy begs âpweese nice mista nu push fwuffeh!â the guy clearly enjoys tipping that group out the plane.
The human puts his hand on your rack and you cant even finish saying âwhy mista am meanie? fwuffeh nuu-UUUUU!â before you are tipped out as well, you arenât really awake afterwards, some part of you remembers looking up and seeing a big sheet above you and looking over and seeing the rack after you getting tipped out but you donât see a sheet above them and they fall and crash into the trees below.
You come to later hearing a loud crack through the trees nearby, you waddle out of the rack that brought you down and immediately set to exploring, you donk your horn against some meanie hard spots that you find on the forest floor, you arenât entirely sure why but it seems like the right thing to do. You soon come across another fluffy⌠or at least whats left of them, there is a bit of a blackened crater on the floor and the fluffy doesnât have a head, you donât really understand what you are seeing and move on, donking your horn into a few more roots, then you find another hard spot on the ground that your scratch at with your hoof drawing the leaves away, you see a little metal disk in the ground and donk-BOOM.
- Recycling centre sorting, Globally humans generate 2billion tonnes of solid municipal waste per year, a significant portion, preferably all, would be sorted into separate waste streams for different types and grades of plastics, different metals, paper and card, food waste, different glass colours. This is expensive, especially in higher wage nations which has resulted in the bizarre scenario where it somehow makes economic sense to ship container loads of trash to the developing world where lax environmental rules enforcement allows it to be burnt in the open air for metals and a large portion just dumped on land or in the ocean.
(FCKD Systems Waste Management Research, Reginald's bad week (Pastry_Knight))
FKCD has been operating more than 50 waste treatment facilities worldwide and in our pilot tests using modified sorting fluffies have shown a 10% improvement in sorting quality as well as an 80% reduction in cost/kilo of sorted waste.
You are larry, a sorter fluffy, nothing makes you happier than picking something off of the conveyor of waste that hundreds of fellow fluffies are also picking over, before taking it over to the collection areas, cameras and human inspectors make sure that you are doing your job well and as you always do at the end of the day you get to enjoy a big bowl of sketties (food waste treated with skettiole) the only bad thing about this though is that a big meal before bed makes it harder for you to wake up early, and the earlier you wake up the further away from the meanie grinder at the end of the conveyor you get to work, late comers get closer and closer to the grinder that reduces anything the fluffies have not been able to sort into smaller bits to be resorted.
You have woken up very late, to the point that you are woken by a nudge from one of the human inspectors boots, they only come round the fluffy pens to check for those fluffies who decide to never wake up. You quickly scurry over to the conveyor to find only the smallest space right next to the grinder, you would try to squeeze in further up but you know that that would never work, so you take up your spot, and will just have to be careful not to get stuck or trapped by anything on the belt.
You do not succeed, that evening the top sorters get a nice sketty treat, partly made with your remains that were sorted into the food waste after they were brought around for sorting again.
- grass cutting / undergrowth clearing, This is fairly self explanitory, these fluffies have been modified to be driven to consume and collect far more grass and general vegetation. They also can be taught the area they are responsible for. However is many countries it is a legal requirement for fluffies used outdoors be fitted with a geo-locating collar with at least class 2 escape interdiction ability if the fluffy leaves/is removed from it allowed area
You are mavis, a happy grass munching lawnmower fluffy, you have spent many forevers happy in your coop in the shed outside, getting up nice and early to nibble down the grass in your owners garden. It sounds like a simple life as it is but for a fluffy like you what else is there, you gotta eat that grass. You donât pay much mind to the collar that has been around your neck as long as you remember.
You wake from your slumber to find two crackheads rummaging through your shed/house, they have picked up the leaf blower and a rake when they look down at you, when they both turn to look at you âHewwo nice mistas?â You say nervously.
âHey is that one of those fluffy lawnmowers? wonder how much we could get for that?â The two smelly humans grab you and start to sneak off with you.
As they take you through the gate you panic âMavwis nu awwowed outside gawden, pweese take backâ but they donât listen to you. They carry you down the road away from the only place you have ever known outside of the garden centre you were purchased from.
The collar that has been your silent companion for your entire life beeped loudly before announcing âPLEASE RETURN FLUFFY TO ALLOWED GEOLOCATION, ESCAPE INTERDICTION WILL ACTIVATE WITHIN 10 SECONDS⌠9 SECONDS⌠8â
the crackheads panic and drop you on the pavement before they sprint off, you desperately look around for home but you donât know what it looks like from the outside.
â2 SECONDS⌠1 SECOND⌠ESCAPE INTERDICTION ACTIVE.â a latch releases which allows a long compressed spring to activate which whips the thin metal cord centre of the silicone collar into a vicelike grip around your neck.
You try to talk but the air canât seem to get out, you attempt to breath in but that also doesnât work, within a minute your body is cooling on the pavement only a few steps from your house and an automatic fine has been applied to your owners bank account, but not enough for one of those lawn roombas to be worth it, they will just go down to the garden centre and get a new lawnmower fluffy and a better lock for the shed.
Amusing sidenote, when we said The Core was roughly analogous to a computer, I know some of you will have thought, I wonder if a fluffy can run DOOM, our engineers have already tested this, the answer is yes, they do not enjoy it.