~FLUFFECTERS~
~by Oculus~
~inspired by Wayward_N~
I was feeling bored one day, and decided to pay a visit to a friend of mine who lived at 35 Nerry Road. Residing in a semi-detached house, Takeshi is a permanent resident who, like me, was a huge Kamen Rider fan. However, my real reason for the visit was that I knew that he owned a Limited Edition DX Kamen Rider Kabuto Fluffecter. Apparently, he owned two Fluffecters, the Kabuto Fluffecter, and Gatack Fluffecter.
Takeshi was a weird guy. Wearing a yellow shirt and beige pants that day, it was clear he didn’t bath. Fairly unshaven, I knew the guy to be indoors most of the time, other than the time that he had to go to work at our office. Knowing him to keep to himself mostly at home, and at work, it baffled me as to how this guy could remain so slim, given that he usually eats so much damn food. As I stepped into the house, I could see all the makings of an otaku. The Love Live and Idolmaster posters. A giant pillow of Miia from Monster Musume. And of course, at least two display cases filled with all kinds of FIGMA figurines. And those were the ones he publicly showed. Knowing his appreciation for the infamous Kuroinu hentai series, something twisted part at the back of my mind imagined him owning the twin Celestine and Origa figures, for him to pour “glue” on. But I was not here for his general otaku collection, I was here to check out the Fluffecters.
~
Now for a history lesson. Back in the early 2000s, Hasbro purchased the Power Rangers license from Saban, allowing them access not only to Power Rangers, but also footage from the original Japanese Super Sentai. However, the deal also allowed Hasbro access to the Masked Rider franchise, and with it, allowed Hasbro to cooperate with Bandai-Namco in Japan. With Hasbro also owning the Hasbio subsidiary, there was a potential for a cross-marketing campaign with Kamen Rider in Japan. Like, Super Sentai is huge in Japan, but Kamen Rider is king there, with only Ultraman being more iconic.
So, Hasbio did some simpler marketing campaigns with Kamen Rider, and, as with the practise with Hasbro at the time, with the US Masked Rider Adaptation in the following year. So, there was a marketing campaign for Kamen Rider Faiz (which was adapted in the US as Masked Rider Fives), Kamen Rider Blade (Masked Rider Ace) and Kamen Rider Hibiki (Masked Rider Echo). But, for Kamen Rider Kabuto, Toei wanted to do something different.
In 2005, Hasbio invented and released first edition of their line of MicroFluffs. As such, Toei asked for Hasbio’s involvement for Kamen Rider Kabuto, and development on Kabuto took a year, part of the process included developing a belt that could “read” the Microfluffs. The Kabuto-themed microfluffs are rare, as they have a little insect DNA spliced into them, but had to be safe enough for children.
Bandai released two versions of the Fuwecter, or Fluffecter. One is the common toy that most children got and placed in their belts. These are just plastic toys and not organic. The other is the limited edition DX authentic Hasbio Japanese-Made Fluffecter with Insect DNA. These microfluffs are incredibly rare as, in addition to their ability to be inserted into belts and recite attacks. Due to immense difficulty in making the authentic Fluffecters, speculation has risen that Hasbio had some failed microfluffs. Hasbio has never disclosed the process by which the Fluffecters were engineered. For safety precautions, all of the actual organic Fluffecters are neutered and incapable of reproduction. As of 2020, they are among the rarest biotoys in the world. Hasbio and Bandai release only a few of these organic Fluffecters once every five years.
~
“Right, so let me get out the Kabuto Fluffecter first.” As I was in his room, which I found to be oddly well-kept, Takeshi opened a cabinet above his desk, and pulled out a terrarium. “Even though these are toys, Fluffecters still need to feed, as well as be exposed to some form of living environment.” What do you feed them, I loudly though. “I have to feed these little guys tree sap, a bit of fruit, or really anything sugary.”
At first glance, the Kabuto fluffecter looked like a random toy beetle. It was clearly modelled after the Japanese Rhinoceros Bettle, otherwise known as the Kabutomushi. Feeling puzzled, I asked Takeshi, “How exactly is this a fluffy?”
“Shaddup dummeh hummeh! Gib Smawty nummies or get sowwy huwties!”
“Oh.”
“Yup,” sighed Takeshi. “Kabuto here is a smarty fluff. But don’t worry, he’s really harmless. His horn is made of plastic. He’ll try to hit you a bunch of times, but its like getting hit by a pencil.”
“Gwanmummah fwuff sez dis “Walk to Skettiwand, Smawty is bestest babbeh.”
It then dawned on me what the little Fluffy was referencing. “Hey, isn’t that what Tendou used to say?”
“Yeah, except that Tendou was an actual badass, and this is literally a little fluffy inside a plastic shell.”
He then took the Fluffecter and placed it in his right palm. “Now watch as I press this button here.” As he did so, I could see the exposed body of the micro-fluff, but, along with an additional feature.
“Insect wings!”
“Yup. Hasbio really outdid themselves. Insect wings, and, notice the amount of legs?”
“One, two three…. Six legs!”
“Yup. Like an insect. That’s why this lil’ bugga here can fly. Apparently, Hasbio are using their development on these fluffecters for their upcoming line of Fairy-wing Microfluffs.”
Takeshi then pointed at a little button at the side of the creature’s plastic shell. “Notice this button? As I press it-“
“Owie! Dummeh daddeh!”
“Don’t worry, I have to do this all the time. Anyway, this allows me to move the horn back, and forth.”
“Oooh, so that’s how it works.”
“Yup. Now let me get my belt.”
Takeshi then moved to a larger cabinet. Peaking inside, I could see all the various Kamen Rder belts from the past two decades. Kuuga, Double, Gaim, Ex-Aid, Ryuki, Build, Drive and so on. He obviously had way too much merchandise.
“Ah, there it is.”
He pulled out the ZECT belt, which looked faily innocuous for a rider belt. Compared to the more gaudy Ex-Aid and Kiva belts, the Kabuto belt was very plain.
Holding the Kabuto fluffecter in his hand, the fluffecter said, in a very annoyed voice, “Siwwy daddeh! No wike dummeh henshin pway!”
He then yelled out, in a very poor attempt to be like the character of Soji Tendou, “Henshin!”
The Fluffy also repeated the line “Henshin!” in a high pitched voice. And so too did the belt with its low pitched “Henshin.”
Upon placing the fluffecter on the belt, the sound effect of the armour forming around the user started to play. In the show, this was an awesome, though fairly budget CGI, effect, that made you believe that the actor was truly becoming a kamen rider (even though everyone knew it was a stunt actor playing the role at that point). And the illusion is even more apparent when a fanboy can only pretend to be the rider.
Grabbing the plastic horn, Takeshi then yelled out the phrase that initiated the secondary form of Kamen Rider Kabuto.
“Cast off!”
“Cast off!” said the fluffecter in a high pitched voice, as the sound effect of the additional armour flying off was played. The fluffecter then said “Change! Beetle!”.
Grabbing the plastic horn with his two fingers, Takeshi then said. “You can also pretend that you’re putting back on the armour by moving the plastic horn back and forth.”
Doing so, the fluffecter then recited the command “Put on!”, along with the voice effects.
“And of course, this zecter comes with these three buttons, which you can press one at a time.”
As Takeshi did so, the Kabuto fluffy then said “Wun! Tuu! Twee! WAIDA KICK!”
Takeshi then said “Rider Kick!”, and did a quick spinning kick. In the show, Tendo’s rider kick was a counter-kick, an effective attack to show his supremacy against an alien foe, done with grace, and yet, definite strength. Takeshi, however, was merely pretending, and thus, the kick was pretty pathetic. As he finished his roundhouse kick, Takeshi stumbled, and fell on a chair.
Laughing a bit, Takeshi then said “I got the Gatack Fluffecter as well!”
“Oh cool, lets see it! By the way, do you have the other fluffecters?”
“Nah, the scorpion fluffecter had too many legs for me, and while l like the Dragonfly Fluffecter, it was too expensive,” said Takeshi as he was rummaging for the other terrarium. “Ah found it,” he exclaimed, as he brought out the terrarium which, in it, had a bright blue plastic shell, with two large antlers, similar to that of the stag beetle.
“Dummeh hummeh, gonna giv sowwy huwties.”
“That’s a toughie voice.”
“As fitting for the Gatack fluffecter,” said Takeshi, as he was about to place the Fluffecter on his belt. “Want to see me try it on?”
“Nah I’m good, but I kind of want to seeif the rumours of these fluffecters were true.”
~
According to rumour, fluffecters could also battle each other. The Chief Engineer at Hasbio Japan, who was also a writer on Kabuto, recalled catching insects to pit them in fights, a common Japanese pastime amongst young children. And it seems to be that the rumour was true. As the Kabuto fluffecter was placed near the Gatack fluffecter, the two microfluffs, placed within their armoured shells, started to bicker.
“Stupeh dummeh Watack! Smawty Wabuto is bestest!”
“Dummeh Wabuto! Watack huwt dummeh fwuff!”
“Gwanma sez dis, ‘Watack is a dummeh!’”
“Watack kiww wabuto!”
Like two fake insects fighting each other, the Kabuto and Gatack fluffecters proceeded to fight. It sounds vicious, but, because it was all plastic, there was little to no damage. Using the curvature of its horn, Kabuto tried to give Gatack upsies. However, the Gatack fluffecter had huge mandibles, with which it was trying to grab the Kabuto fluffecter with. As the two kept fighting, it looked a lot like two toys hitting each other, with invisible hands.
I was getting bored. I wanted to tell Takeshi to keep the dumb shitrats away. But then, I noticed something. On the back of the shells of both microfluffs, there was a little button that said “Clock up.”
As I reached out my hand to press both buttons, Takeshi attempted to hold me back, saying “No do-”
Too late.
~
“CLOCK UP.”
As the manly engrish voice said those two words, the Flfufecters started to fly really fast across the room. As they zipped through the various objects, the damage was visible. Broken screens. Ripped books. Pillows shredded, feathers flying, mattresses ripped.
“Kisama-“
Takeshi was a little angry with me, but, as the fluffecters continued to zip around the room, nothing could be done. After about ten seconds of superspeed fighting, than, the real damage started.
“Aaah Wabuto poopies!”
A line of shit trailed from both the Kabuto and Gatack fluffecters, as they continued to zip around the room, albeit a bit slower. After a while, the shit started to cover both Takeshi and I, and of course, practically half of Takeshi’s previously well-kept room.
“CLOCK OVER!”
After a minute of constant fighting, and shitting, both fluffecters stopped. As the heavy breathing and panting could be heard from the insectoid fluffecters within their plastic shells, the Kabuto fluffecter then spoke, very weakly, “Wabuto wan nummies, daddeh. Pweaze.”
Takeshi sighed.
“I’m sorry man,” I apologised very weakly.
But Takeshi, ever a man of patience said “Give me an hour to clean up, and feed my fluffies.”
“I’m very sorry man. I’ll pay f-“
“Nah its okay.
The kitchen is downstairs. Cook me your best tofu dish.”