Fluffmart Does Pride Month! (Ace)

This story is not meant as an attack on anyone. It is an attack on the corporate handling of Pride Month, though. It was originally meant to be posted in June but my harddrive crashed so I decided to redo it and post it now :tumbly:

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“Sir, I can’t in good conscious be a part of this. This is…really fucked up.” Jason, a Fluffmart employee, told his manager while looking out over the sales floor. His manager, a fat guy in his fifties and a real corporate jockey, just waved a hand out.

“Yeah well if you want a paycheque you will. Now get to work.” The man grunted, going to retreat to the back of his office where he usually spent the entire day rearranging stationary and sniffing his own farts. What was Jason so upset about?

‘FLUFFMART DOES PRIDE!’ was why. Did he have a problem with gay people? Not at all. This was just extremely crass though. Hasbio had sent over a bunch of new shit and the place looked like it’d been thrown up on by a rainbow. There were shirts for fluffies that said stuff like ‘WUB IS WUB’ or ‘I HAVE TWO DADDEHS’. Garishly colored sorry-sticks, because nothing said ‘I’m proud of my identity!’ like your preferred pet beating accessory. The worst thing of all were the Pride Fluffies. They were, as he had said before, really fucked up.

Hasbio had forced a bunch of stallions to be gay. There was really no other way to put it. They had started out wanting to rear children and knock up the nearest mare but now he watched them all in their little display, a rainbow fuckpile. Yeah, this was pretty offensive. Not the gay sex part. Mostly the part where they were currently giving themselves massive rectal injuries and were too scared to protest against it.

“Enf! Enf! WUB POOPIE-PWACE!” Screeched a red unicorn as he railed a little yellow and green stallion who was sobbing and bleeding from the ass.

“Nu am mawe but wike dis!” The stallion on the receiving end said, but it was most definitely assured that he didn’t like it. Jason was pretty sure he was going to have to undergo reconstructive surgery or, more likely, be thrown into the garbage.

“Jesus Christ.” If a kid or parent saw this, what in the Hell could he say? What in the goddamn world could he give as an explanation? Jason shuddered and tried not to look at the tragedy occurring in the pride pen and just went behind the register.

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Meanwhile, in the pen of fluffies, one particular stallion would be hiding in the corner. His name was Bruno. A blue and orange pegasus who would nervously flutter his little wings and try to seem as unassuming as possible. The chaos unfolding around him was good. It was good, wasn’t it? Just days earlier he had been at the Hasbio factory and underwent very special training to ensure that he liked all of this.

Bruno and a bunch of other stallions with good colors had gone under a process which would change their brains and way of thinking. They had been taken from their community pens and brought to a big room where each of them were strapped to tables. Pokey meany-needles were put into their legs and buzzy-shocky things were placed on their genitals. They were forced to have their eyes opened up while videos played on a projection screen. The stallions were treated to videos of mares showing off their special place and generally being provocative. Every time the stallions showed any signs of responding to the images, they received an electric shock to the special-lumps or no-no sticks. The room was filled with shrieks of fluffies having their genitals roasted via electrodes, though there was soothing relief.

The images switched to ones of stallions giving one another bad enfies in their poopie-places. Bruno didn’t really like seeing this but throughout this show, the fluffies would receive small bumps of short-lasting pain medicine through the IVs in their legs. That was a good feeling. Then it went back to the bad feeling with the mares, or videos of babbehs having fun with their parents. Mares and babbehs were bad. It made him feel bad! Bad enfies made him…feel good? Bruno began to feel sick after this slurry of pain then relief, very basic instincts in his head being beat down and ripped away through simple aversion therapy.

This occurred for many forevers, at least in terms for a fluffy. By the end of it, the stallions who were unstrapped from the tables stumbled around in a daze. Some of them vomited on the floor and cried. The last part of the test involved one of the employees bringing a mare into the room, a particularly flirty pink and yellow one that REALLY wanted foals. She lifted her tail to the group of stallions and looked back to them.

“Speciaw huggies ‘fo mawe? Wan babbehs! Teehee!” This was an invitation that these little idiots would have sprang on before but now it made their eyes grow wide with horror, the stallions staggering back as phantom pains thundered across their genitals.

“Nu wan mawe! Dummeh gu way! Yew nu gud ‘fo no-no stick! Wan poopie pwace!” One said, the rest of the group echoing his sentiment loudly. This particular trial had been a complete success. They wanted nothing to do with mares and their evil special places any longer.

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Bruno sat in the pen, not wanting this. This was horrible! It was all a bunch of huwties! The ones who were receiving bad enfs didn’t say so but it obviously hurt a whole lot. There was booboo wawa everywhere and they were crying! The ones doing the bad enfies had crazy looks on their faces. He didn’t want anything to do with this. Shivering, he scooted off to the kibble tray and nummed on some.

“Bwuno ‘nee new housie…nu wan bad enfie housie. Dis am bad pwace.” He said, looking over to the littertray. He needed to make good poopies. It seemed like a bad idea though.

A customer had wandered over to look into the display, peering down into the pit of rape and debauchery down below. She was a very nice lady, Bruno just knew! The stallion got up on his back legs and waggled his front hooves out.

“Hewp! Hewp Bwuno! Dis nu am gud pwace! Bwuno am gud fwuffy!” The woman was shocked by this, of course. Anyone would be!

“Oh my God! You poor baby! Of course I’ll help you!” The lady held the fluffy to her chest, the stallion nuzzling up on her. Already he felt warm and protected. Away from the danger down below. Bringing the fluffy to the front desk, she glared at Jason.

“What in the Hell is going on over there!? They’re all RAPING each other!” Jason wanted to point out that wasn’t actually a rare occurrence here, though this was on a larger scale than usual.

“I, uhh, I don’t know. Anyways…with the purchase of every Pride Fluffy we’re proud to give you, for free, uhh…” Looking like an ashamed dog who just pissed on the rug, Jason simply placed a bag of rainbow gummis on the counter. They were shaped like dicks. He glared down at the counter. The woman stared at him as if he’d grown a second head before gently placing Bruno down beside the gummis.

“I don’t want anything from you freaks. What’s wrong with you people!?” She stormed out the front door, nearly knocking over a display ‘Bottom Friendly Fluffy Kibble’, whatever the fuck that was. Jason scooped Bruno up, the fluffy looking up to him with innocent eyes. “Mistah nice daddeh…pwease hewp Bwuno. Nu gib bad enfie housie.” Jason began walking back to the display but just then his manager burst out from the back room, fat face flustered and sweat dripping down from his forehead.

“Jason! Get all this shit down immediately! Corporate is freaking out! EVERYONE is offended! Gay people, straight people, asexuals!” He had a giant trashbag in one hand and was already stuffing shit into it. Jason sighed. Well, he was sure to be hearing about the giant blowback on the news later. This honestly happened a lot faster than he thought it would. How much money would Hasbio lose on this latest and greatest new blunder? Jason, not thinking much about it, placed Bruno down in the pen with the regular fluffies.

“Hewwo nyu fwend!” A mare said, scampering up to him and licking his cheek happily. The stallion giggled and gave a wave of his tail, watching as his former penmates began to get scooped up and dumped into the trashbag. They all wriggled and writhed within the bag. Rainbow-decorated shit was stuffed down on top of them in the bag, the manager making no qualms about stomping his foot in to crush everything down. Bruno watched in horror before finally wandering over to the littertray. He’d been holding in poopies this entire time and now felt safe enough to actually make ‘em.

Jason looked out the window. Oh look, there was already a crowd gathering. Protesters of all sorts. Some decrying the celebration of pride itself, others lambasting how callous this all was. Hasbio had done one thing: They’d brought together two sides which hated one another. That was kind of beautiful in it’s own way. He just hoped he’d avoid a brick to the head out in the parking lot. Looking over to his manager still kicking down the bag full of brainwashed fluffies, he’d began peeling off promo posters from the display window. It was hard to believe but this wasn’t even his worst day having worked here.

41 Likes

Dope story fr

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“Dammit Jenkins, we pandered to the homos hard this year and we still lost money. Where did we go wrong?”

“Well sir, you know how it’s been proven that you can’t ‘Pray the gay away’.”

“Yeah?”

“Well it appears the opposite is also true.”

18 Likes

So funny to think about going to your local fluffmart only to see a bunch of fluffies doing that. The wub is wub shirts go hard tho!

6 Likes

A commentary on the horror of conversion “therapy” and the crass corporate attempt to get the gay dollar!

10/10 no notes.

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I like that he was already named Bruno. I wonder what other offensively gay names the other pride fluffies had.

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Perfectly fitting pandering for the pride party. But the party doesn’t support gays anymore.

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Oh my lord :sweat_smile:

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Y’know, they actually might have managed sales if they’d just had fluffies in pride flag colours without the brainwashing. I’d go for a purple-and-greyscale fluff. And what, no lesbians?

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The red headed stepchild of the myriad homos

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For once, Lesbian Invisibility was a blessing.

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I hate Corporate Pride because it robs it of its teeth. Pride is supposed to be about consciously rejecting the societal structures that hold our people down, and big corporations that Rainbow Wash during June are the same ones that will turn around and donate to hate groups or Republicans. They don’t support us, they support making money. They just recognize that we’re safe to market to now.

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Also wait someone forgot to throw away Bruno, he’s too sad and no longer deserves love.

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Raytheon and Axon pride month logos. Gotta get the queer dollar buying tazers and military drones!

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Perfect for the type of gay who thinks Pete Buttigieg is good representation for us.

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Nothing wrong with attacking corps for being pandering mealy mouthed cowards trying to exploit a community before promptly ditching them the moment they get minor pushback from RWSHs who themselves can’t even fucking commit to their positions.

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If it’s any consolation the only people it seems to fool are far right loons and normies

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im laughing so so hard- oh gosh im losing it

As a gay who loves pride, yeah i can see this happening. cooperate pride is a big shame to make money of gay people, they dont care nore understand most the time. This was funny as hell and its nice to think bruno got a happy ending.
i also forgot bruno was a gay name and just thought that it was his name cuz he was left alive and forgotten cuz, we dont talk about bruno no no no

this was a great story, i wub.
though i do now want a wub is wub shirt, damn you corporet greed!

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I don’t know. I could see someone buying a brain washed ass rapist fluffy. At least until they could find a natural born grapey fluffy.

1 Like