“Soon your world shall fall and then no one in the galaxy shall stand against the Most High Lord Space Captain Emperor Gigaxalon the Third!” The team of power fluffs lay defeated on the ground as he savored in his victory. “Nuu am twuu, wid da powah ow fwendship we am dewfeat yuu! Wite Fwens?” A white fluffy in a matching white sentai suit, wearing a visor helmet which must have been hastily made to conform to his tiny fluffy head, shouted back.
The six other fluffies of the rainbow turned and joined their leader to form a semicircle facing their butts towards the center. “Wite!” They lifted their tails in unison, the camera focusing on each tail individually. This took a whole fifteen seconds to spotlight each fluffy’s anal sphincter.
“Sowwy Poopies!” They all cried out in unison as a glowing stream of liquid poop left their butts, converging in the epicenter into a larger diarrhea jet which redirected into Gigaxalon. “Noo! Noo! Noooo!” The villain collapsing to the ground in slow motion and pyrotechnics.
“Yeaw!” The fluffies stood on their back leggies and all flailed their legs around in what could only liberally be described as action poses. A rumbling noise happened off screen. “Uh oh!” The fluffies all dramatically turned their heads back and forth looking at each other. In reality the black visor in their helmets restricted their vision and they were trying to shake them loose.
The camera cut over to where Most High Lord Space Captain Emperor Gigaxalon the third had fallen. The towering robot warlord/evil wizard shouted out for a solid twenty seconds while he magically grew to the size of a skyscraper.
“Wooks wike we am neewd tu caww in da big guwns!” They all tapped a plastic gem hanging around their necks like nametags. The LEDs inside each crystal flashed their respective colors as a series of giant fluffbots all flew into frame. Again, taking up another twenty seconds as each fluffy got a custom focused shot of them spinning through the air into their cockpits. In reality they were stuffed animal stunt doubles if anyone cared to pause and inspect the screen. Each robot posed again, this time better than the Fluff Rangers had.
The fluffy GallopBots all tried to individually give sorry hoofsies to the Most High Lord Space Captain Emperor Gigaxalon the third but failed and were all knocked back. “Foolish Flufftacular Fluff Rangers!” (Say that three times fast) “Victory is mine!” A complete repeat of the sequence that happened just before they joined forces to deliver their special final attack. You’ll never guess what the fuck happens next. No really! Take a fucking guess!
“Fwuffies! Cowmbiwne!” Each GallopBot folded into a block while the white GallopBot stacked them in a pyramid. By some miraculous camera transition after lots of zooming in and out, the block pyramid was replaced with a Mummah GallopBot and it was heavily implied that the seven fluffy pilots were now tummeh babbeh pilots as the split screen placed the pilot seat view over the Mummah Bot’s belly.
“Fools! You think combining will save you!? No mommy will protect you!” The Mummah bot made more skillful poses as it was in fact being articulated by a human inside. “Sowwy hoofsies!” A close shot of a punch. “Biting Huwties!” “A close up as the robot mare ripped Most High Lord Space Captain Emperor Gigaxalon the third’s lazer from his arm “Supah fwiendship sowwy poopies!” The robomare turned around facing its robot butt towards the now giant villain. A brown laser fired from her butt as a stock laser sound played. The robot/wizard/emperor fell to the ground after tumbling side to side and knocking over several styrofoam skyscrapers. Sparks shot up in the air as he exploded repeatedly.
The fluffies were all standing in front of the Styrofoam city again. They were no longer wearing their action suits as they resumed their “Secret” identities. “Anoddah sucsessfuw mishawn!” The white fluff said triumphantly. “Wets ged sgettis!” The green one shouted back. They all turned and started walking away from the camera, babbling about something the microphone couldn’t pick up. The image froze and faded to black.
Credits began to roll, and Jim wondered what the hell he had just watched. His fluffies had begged him to buy Flufftastic Friends and he selected what he had thought was that from the pay per view channel. Only now that the title repeated did he see he had accidentally selected Flufftacular Friends, made by an obscure Korean studio instead of FluffTV. They managed to crank six of these movies a year just by recycling footage for seventy percent of the screentime.
Oh well it was only five bucks, not the end of the world he thought. At least his two colts were happy.
The following week his two fluffies would repeatedly imitate the special attacks from the bootleg fluffy movie. Despite his efforts, they would not stop delivering ‘friendship sorry poopies’ and were dropped off at a kill shelter when, yet again, he came home from work Friday to another shit covered living room.
He didn’t actively find a kill shelter, it was just that every no kill shelter was filled to the brim with smarties, brown fluffs, and brown smarties that should have been put down.
They might have lived if they learned to stop shitting everywhere. But due to some miscommunication with shelter staff, their adoption sign stated the colts had incontinence, rather than obedience issues.
I should get a dog Jim thought as he drove away.
A sort of spin-off/sequel to Flufftastic Friends. Please let me know if wierdbox isn’t the right tag for this.
My personal prompt for this story: Who would win? “The indomitable fluffy spirit” vs “the indifferent cruelty of abusers”
