Inspired by this image by @Larur and a comment @BFM101 made on it along with this image by Larur.
The host of FluffTV’s “What Fluffies Need to Know” was on cocaine. Don’t judge him too harshly, you’d need a stimulant too if you had his job.
“HEWWO NICE MISTAH!” the light green earthie flufy foal called back. He loved FluffTV and his owner loved him and let him watch it whenever he wanted.
“TODAY WE’RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO COLTS WHEN THEY GROW UP BIG AND STRONG!”
The foal blinked and then clapped his hooves. He’d always wanted to grow up big and strong like his mother had sung to him and now he’d learn more about it!
“WHEN A COLT BECOMES A STALLION (pause for bumper of cocaine) THEY HAVE URGES!”
“THEY HAVE A NEED!”
The foal didn’t know what the nice TV mister was talking about.
“THEY NEED TO BREED!”
What was “breed?”
“YOUR SPECIAL LUMPS WILL START HURTING, YOUR NO-NO STICK WILL GET HARD, AND IT’LL BE TELLING YOU THAT YOU NEED TO FIND A PRETTY MARE!”
A pretty mare? That did sound good. The foal (actually just about to be a stallion) could feel his no-no stick and special lumps tingling. He WOULD like a pretty mare.
“BUT SOMETIMES (snorting two lines of cocaine through a straw like if he were a walrus) YOUR HUMAN MOTHERS AND DADDIES WON’T WANT TO GET YOU A PRETTY MARE!”
That’d be bad! The foal who was now a stallion didn’t know what he’d do if he was told no!
“BUT THERE’S A WAY TO STILL GET WHAT YOU WANT IF YOUR HUMAN PARENTS LOVE YOU ENOUGH! IF THEY WON’T EVEN GET YOU THIS THEN THEY HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE!”
The stallion knew he was loved, so he’d get whatever it was the nice TV mister told him to demand.
“INTRODUCING THE NEW FLUFFTV BRANDED LITTERENFIEPAL! IT EATS YOUR POOP AND YOU CAN FUCK IT!”
The stallion didn’t know what all those words meant but he wanted it and knew how to say it.
“GO NOW AND DEMAND IT, OUR PERSONAL PRODUCTS AREN’T BEING ADVERTISED AFTER THIS! NOW NOW NOW YOU HORNY FUCKERS! I NEED MONEY TO BUY MORE COCAINE!!!”
The stallion ran to where his owner was.
“Wan FwuffTV bwanded wittweenfiepaw!”
His owner gave him an affectionate headpat.
“Of course, anything for you! I’ll even get you another one if you like the first one!”
The brown foal with a brown mane looked up at the man holding a huge pointy thing.
“Am fwuffy getting nyu daddeh?”
“No, I’m going to saw your legs off and then put you in a box where you’ll either starve to death or get fucked or shit on to death.”
“But fwuffies am fow huggies an wub! Wai du meanie ting?!”
The saw-wielding man shrugged.
“Personally I like to believe you all were dictators in your past life and you’ve been reincarnated into fluffies as punishment.”
“Dat siwwy! Fwuffy nu am Dictatow, fwuffy’s namesies am Saddam Hussein!”
“Well…that takes the ambiguity out of it. Say goodbye to your legs.”
“Byebyesies, weggies! Wait, wai fwuffy haf tu sai-SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Author’s Note: If fluffies can reincarnate so can humans.