Fluffy exterminator tools?

Not a question as much of a hypothetical; if fluffies existed in the real world what kind of equipment do you think exterminators would carry?

Of course a sharpened twig can do job but for someone who’s running a business, especially a busy one I don’t think they can take the time to harpoon every fluffy.

On the other hand, more widespread and advanced methods such as flufficide or broken glads hidden in spaghetti while highly effective and not needing any input, are slow relatively expensive and potentially harmful to the local ecosystem.

So I ask if you were an exterminator what would you use?
I myself would opt for a bb gun with, while not re-usable like arrow nor as powerful as a firearm I think a bb or pellet gun is perfect for hunting fluffies.


Poisoned garlic/marinara treats
Recording of varied friendly fluffy speak from generic pleasantries to the mummah song
Trap Foals
High Powered Pellet Gun


I’m afraid the realistic answer is going to be epically boring.

A catch pole.

Live traps.

Bear proof trashcans

Smell based repellants and warding vegetation (like that parsley thing)

Poison and firearms just run too much liability



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I’d equip my exterminators
Poisoned food pellets, sticky traps of various sizes, box cage traps various sizes and both lethal and non, a pellet gun, sling shot or a blowgun, and a cardboard box, wire, and sticks and zipties and rubber bands. And for complete non-lethal a company fluffy


I was summoned


Depends on the fluffies
I’m assuming the standard a light breeze knocks them over version so a very mild poison and pellet gun should be ok.
If the fluffies are more realistic, then I agree 100%


I touched on this briefly in one of my own stories with Duncan, my exterminator.

Cage traps, baited with regular spaghetti. Fluffys are just dumb enough to get in, but too stupid to get out, come back once or twice a week to clear out the dead ones (or to make more as nessisary).

Also, dogs or cannibal fluffies. For the ones that are smart enough to try running off and hiding. Flush em out with a gunshot and set the good bois on them.

As for actual weapons, good ol’ fashioned knife, bat or varmint rifle. The latter reserved for when you’ve got runners or are looking for target practice.


A lot of that is simply deterring them from hanging around your house. Real life pests that size, like raccoons and rabbits, usually only hang around for food. If they can’t eat because they can’t get into the garbage or your garden tastes bad, they don’t stay. The issue with poison is you may end up killing something you didn’t mean to. But a gun would be a good solution assuming you’re in a farm/ country setting.


I understand that, hence why I would opt for a mild poison, one that would only kill fluffies or very small vermin, such as shrews,mice,ect.


If the extermination job is out in the country i.e. farms, ranches, or rural properties. It wouldn’t be out of the question for an exterminator(s) to use a air-guns (pellet) or (.22LR if it’s really out in the country or the site has a major herd infestation.) Exterminator(s) would set up a spot with bait and recordings of foals, along with pheromone scents to attract adolescents and adult fluffies into a kill-zone and blast away.

The types of Air-Rifles would vary but I could see Exterminator(s) using the FX IMACT 2 or IMPACT 3 model (As pictured above). With .22 slugs in each disk of ammo has 28 shots and with the relative ease of loading and coasts two or three shooters could effectively wipe out a herd(s) as these heavily caliber slugs would rip right through a fluffy.

However if the job is in the city and suburbia the exterminator would use the same tools that @I_might_be_weasel mentioned earlier. As there’s too much liability in using pellet, firearms, or poisons. However one thing is for certain though, they’d all use the heavy duty contractor bags to pick up dead fluffies.


Dogs like the Jack Russell Terrier were bred to be “ratters” they were used to hunt rats. So using a “ratter” dog like that and other similar breeds they’d easily hunt fluffies.


Hell yeah, ratting dogs! My old dog Mackie was a Cairn Terrier, bred for the same type of stuff!


Of course! Compressed air rifles would be perfect! Rather cheap and best of all super quiet they would be perfect for taking a herd out without causing panic at least with the first shot


Big thing is going to depend on where you are, who your customers are, etc.

For instance, in a city I would think you’re going to need lots of maps, ways to barricade off areas/escape routes during treatment, trucks for both equipment and dealing with fluffies (alive, dead, however), etc. I’d think traps would be necessary, plus a way to find nests so cameras, maybe (very quiet) remote drones. I’d imagine the prep-work and planning would be many times LONGER than actually going in to do the work.

And I think you’ll want to be fast and as quiet as possible. You can’t work during the day when the areas need to be accessed, and nobody wants to hear them screaming at night. Last thing you want to do is set off some poor veteran’s PTSD of an ambush from the war.

No way it’s a one person operation. And it needs followup: after clearing an area out you need to make sure things are cleaned up (poop and pee, dead foals, nesting materials, whatever), the area gets “fluffy proofed” (fencing, holes patched up, deterrents put into place), and then a maintenance schedule is out into place (including checking traps, looking for signs of fluffies, whatever).

That said, this would be expensive and slow going, plus inconvenient. So I’d imagine folks would rather just do large but not long term effective sweeps with no ongoing followup. You’d have a cycle of booms and busts, probably costing more in the long term than doing it once and keeping things maintained.


Honestly, I imagine one of the first things that would be done, realistically, is have scientists work around the clock to figure out some kind of effective spermicide for fluffy ponies (though admittedly the fact that they lack consistent favored foods other than spaghetti is an issue). It would be the most humane option and their numbers are going to crater if you get it spread around enough. All of your initial suggestions are probably what would have to happen to get things under control at first and I suspect that urban areas are going to be more ‘dangerous’ than rural ones due to things being inherently crowded. I’ve said it before, but climate change - whether blistering heat or below zero temperatures - is going to absolutely dropkick them given that their coats are designed for aesthetic purposes and to keep them warm in suburban homes rather than for survival.

Do enough crowd control and just let 'em whine about “wheh speshuw fwen nu gif mummah babbehs wif spehsuw huggies?” Local governments would still need to stay on top of the problem, but once you cross several large initial hurdles I don’t think it would be much of an issue.


Food based birth control for Fluffies would be a good idea. Big thing is you’d need it for both the mares and stallions and in the same food. It’d need to be managed so any chemicals or hormones used stay out of the food chain and ground water.

Honestly, doing it during the fall or winter would be a good time. Feed, sterilize via food, release. They’ll be looking after all.

Putting out small makeshift shelters with heating pads would attract them too.


Pretty sure we just solved rampant fluffy overpopulation.

Put us on the team, coach. We’re ready.


…And we just got out on the bench because the team’s owners make more money when things are mishandled…


Well, how about a new team owner, who is not a hack?

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