"Foal In A Can" Headcanons (Star-The-Alicorn)

Fluffies, as a whole, seem to be weak to the untrained eye. But in actuality, while fluffies have a low pain tolerance, they’re pretty sturdy considering the amount of damage they can take. This is the reason “Foal In A Can” exists in my version of the fluffyverse.

However, “Foal In A Can” machines are pretty rare, and only exist in really sketchy areas with sketchy people. Finding one of these machines is not advisable unless you plan to rescue the foals within, due to the high crime rate.

Foals that go in these machines are born in factories, and immediately torn from their mother. Their mother has no chance of even licking them clean, as they are immediately dropped to the conveyor belt just below their rump. They’re cleaned with a light dousing of water and a blast of warm air, then they’re lined up for processing.

They’re separated by sex and breed, and are placed into the plastic cans by robots. Sometimes a factory error can occur. The foal is tossed too hard into the can and suffers an injury, the foal is placed into the wrong end of the can (To either drown in formula or die of starvation in the “bathroom” end of the can) or the foal is a stillborn but is placed into a can anyway.

How the “Foal In A Can” works is thus: There is a small nipple at one end of the can with a limited amount of formula inside. Because canned foal factories are low-end and have little funding, the formula is bare-minimum and the cheapest of the cheap. It tastes gross (However, newborn foals don’t know what “good” tastes like and therefore will drink like there’s nothing wrong) and does not aid in growth or health. They will drink more though, because their instincts tell them that they are not getting enough due to little nutrients.

On the other end, a small tube is inserted into the rear of the foal to collect fecal matter without making a mess. If the foal is left in the can for too long, the substance will leak out the sides of the vessel. Either that, or the matter will build up in the tube until the tube falls out and fecal matter now falls into the can itself instead of the collection vessel.

The can has small air holes on the side, so the foal inside does not suffocate. The bottom of the can is lined with a thin pad so sores and other injuries do not happen over time.

Foals that come from these cans tend to have many issues. Issue one: They are physically weak and tend to grow up to be runts due to the extremely low quality formula and no exercise.

Issue two: They have low continence due to not being litter trained at a young age, and they tend to have trouble making friends due to the fact that they’ve spent their entire foalhood in an isolated can.

Issue three: Due to the fact that they’ve been unexposed to viral threats because they were in a machine so long, they have weak immune systems. If their owner does not work to strengthen it, the fluffy will suffer a weak immune system for life.

Issue four: Canned foals tend to be inbred, therefore the weak immune system problem stands. The fluffies will likely have problems such as dental issues, less fertility, higher likelihood of birth complications, and increased facial asymmetry. Blindness and genetic errors (Such as less than normal or extra limbs) are common as well.

Canned foals are highly discouraged for fluffy owners, and even abusers seem to dislike them due to the fact that the foals die so suddenly and they’re unable to torment them long. People who love fluffies loathe “Foal In A Can” and do their best to make such foal vending machines unlawful due to the high death rate, cruelty and neglect.


One end is that it explains the infamous (one of many) “fragility” that fluffies are known for. Since there was a “booming” trend for foal-in-a-can that saw the machines placed everywhere. Which later declined as most trends do. Which provided a common “stock” of fluffies that we’re familier with.

Second, the apparent operation in the current time could be under legal technicalities. Since there could be laws that would fine abuse of “feral” fluffies but not foal-in-a-can since they’re more product than usual.


This is a very good idea! I hadn’t thought of the more delicate fluffies being descended from canned foals. I really like this concept.


Assuming that the can trend took place around early period where laws regarding fluffies where unexistant. Breeder mills could simply buy their stock from foal-in-a-cans to help supplement their “licensed” stock to cut corners. Eventually “privately” owned mills would surplant the vending fluffs due to it’s growing distasteful reputation and PR campaigns that advertise that “free-range” fluffies are more attractive.

But knowing how most mills operate they’re unwittingly perpetuate the already stunted genetics of our chimeric biotoys due to the afar mentioned lax laws.


Yes to this. The laws for fluffies during the beginning would be wishy-washy at best if they even existed. “Foal In A Can” would have been something that most breeders bought their stock from during the beginning, until they learned about the high mortality rate. Not to mention the general unhealthiness of the fluffies.


Because canned foal factories are low-end

On the other end, a small tube is inserted into the rear of the foal to collect fecal matter without making a mess.

Low-end yet in cans with complicated waste systems? poop dont go through a hose on its own you need something to pump it into the chamber at the end.

Now you got an expensive fragile can with a pump and a battery to keep it running

The OG foal-in-a-can made by people like carpdime solved that with the corking which is perfect: foals are so cheap who cares if their explode like balloons full of crap? its only going to be there for a couple of weeks after that its too old and barely fits in the can anyway, nobody is going to buy it now, why keep it alive longer?

I even made a series that goes more into detail with the guys who created it finding out they could put tons of methylcellulose on the miwkies as a bulking agent so the foals would last longer without being able to shit


Ah, there’s no motor in mine, it’s more like an empty container that slowly fills when the waste goes in. I haven’t really come up with a way it gets in there without getting backed up in the tube, but then again, this is multicolored talking ponies we’re talking about.


You’re still not getting the point: canned foals are supposed to be cheap, disposable, theres no reason to do anything more complicated than put a buttplug on it and make it constipated, it has a short shelf life anyway


quick question: am I allowed to use your post word for word in a post I want to make if I mention that you originally posted it?

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As long as you credit me as the original poster of those words, then it’s okay! Thank you for asking permission.

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