Freddy the Humper - By Hornlarry (Booru ID 42305)

Am fluffy
Fluffy have name!
Name am “Fweddy”
Freddy am pink!
Freddy like sketties!
Freddy have mummah!
Freddy love mummah!
Freddy bestest fluffy!

Freddy have hurties
Head hurties
Mummah take vets
“Nu wike vets!”
Say Freddy sick
“Hab bwain injuwy”
Dat mean, derped

Freddy wan huggies
Special huggies
“Wan speshbaw hugbies!”

Mummah have fluffies
On not hoofies
Pink fluffies!
Freddy wan huggies
Special huggies

Freddy hump fluffies!
Mummah say “Nooo!”
Say Freddy bad
Hit smell place!
“Huu huu huuu!”
“Why huwt fwuffy?”
“Fweddy am gud!”
“Wan speshbaw hugbies!”

Mummah say “No!”
“These aren’t fluffies”
Am “Slippers”
“Wat am slibbews?”

My silly little fluffy, Freddy, is adorably cute, but dumb as a brick. He got hooved on his head when he was a foal, and the vet said it injured his brain. The internet says it is derp syndrome. He is just as affectionate and playful as other fluffies, but he talks a bit funny, and can only grasp the most basic ideas.

Recently, he has started to… hump my slippers. It was cute at first, but now he tries to hump them anytime he sees them. I’ve gotta wear them too. Its winter now, and the lino floor in my house gets real cold, so I can’t walk around barefoot all the time. Any time I want to get in the kitchen, where he lives, I have to throw a fluffy treat into the corner, then run to get what I need.

I’ve tried punishing him, but he never seems to learn, even when I bop him on the nose. I’m not one for using sorry sticks or sorry boxes, but it really needs to stop. I went on some forums, and they said there were three basic options. Number one, find Freddy a special friend. I can’t afford to keep two fluffies, let alone baby fluffies, so that one is out. Option two is to have him fixed. I would do it as a last resort, but it seems a bit mean to take his balls. Option three is to put some hotsauce on the slippers, and leave them with him to hump for a while. Apparently, it makes them cry, but they learn NEVER to hump them again.

I decided to try option three.

Mummah go work
Leave fluffies behind!
Fluffies cawwed “Slibbews”
“Hewwo Slibbers!”
“Fwuffy am Fweddy!”
“Wuv nyu fwiends!”
“Wan hab… speshbaw hugbies?”

New friends quiet
Maybe sleeping?
Freddy give hugs!
Slibbers smell good!
Freddy excited!
Tingles in no-nos
No-no stick big!

“Wan speshbaw huggies?”
Slibbews am sleeping
Want huggies bad!
Just little huggies
Stop if Slibbers wake

Like special huggies!
No find special place?
Where Slibbers special place?
Freddy find it!

Feel funny
Hot and Burny!
“Buwny! Buwny!”
“Mummah! Sabe Fweddy!”
“Wowstest Buwny Huwties!”
“Nu wike speshbaw huggies!”

Slibbers still sleeping
No-no stick am stuck!
“Pwease Slibbews!”
“Wet Fweddy gu!”
“Nu mowe huwties!”
Wowstest no-no stick hurties!
“Huu huu huu huu huu…”

I came back later that evening, and heard Freddy wailing from the kitchen. I ran inside, to find him still attached to my slippers, covered in hot sauce, and laying in a pool of his own piss, poop and tears.

“Hewp! Mummah! Sabe Fweddy!” he cried.

Somehow, he’d managed to find a little gap between the rubber sole of the slippers and the pink fluffy lining. The poor little beast had managed to slide his penis into the gap, and humped away, no doubt thinking he had found the other “fluffy’s special place.” Then, he’d gotten his little fluffy dick caught on the stitching thread that held the sole to the slipper lining, and had been wailing in pain for the last 8 hours!

To make things worse, he’d gotten totally covered in hot sauce. I thought he’d hump away for a minute or two, get some sauce on himself, and run off crying. I had no idea he would get his dick stuck in the slipper! I tried to get him free, but he was stuck fast. Somehow the stitching thread had tightened up around his dick and he was wailing in pain! Fortunately, a couple of minutes, and a pair of scissors, and I managed to free him.

His poor little dick had turned purple!

I looked after him as best I could, but the next day, it still looked really bad.

I took him to the vets, and they had to amputate it :frowning:

Huu huu huu…
Freddy have hurties
Freddy lose no-no stick
Wowstest owwies

Just want special huggies
But Slibbers am meanie
Slibbers bite no-no stick
Give burny hurties
Slibbers no love Freddy

Mummah save Freddy
But take to VETS
VETS take no-no stick!
“Nuuuuuu! No-no stickkkk!”
Huu huu huu
Wowstest owwies

Still wan special huggies
But nu can do
Need no-no stick
Mummah nu love Freddy
Make sleep in kit-chen
Let Slibbers sleep in mummah room
In mummah bed
Huu huu huu huu huu

Link to Index of Hornlarry Stories


The second of tonights stories, in partial fluffy perspective.


The poor derpy bastard


Haha I’m glad you liked it. Feel free to steal this idea to draw if you like, I’m a big fan of your art :smiley:


Let Slibbers sleep in mummah room

The solution was there all along. Another “humans are dumber than a derped fluffy” for the pile.


I mean, if they’re going to I ruin the slippers with hot sauce anyway let him have them and get less fuzzy ones to wear.


Hahahahaha lil bastard! Well done on the fluffy perspective.


This scratched an itch I didn’t know I needed scratched.