Decided to work on another frosting and Steve story. Hope you folks enjoy.
The alarm clock rings.
You smack it and get out of bed.
“YAWN Fwosin miss babbehs but am happeh ta sweep in daddeh’s beddie again.”
Your fluffy frosting says. It’s been a month since the last incident. You gave ketchup and mustard to your friend in town once they were weaned. Shes been having a blast with them. Of course frosting and the babies cried when they split but frosting understood. They had their own home now.
You hear a slight knock on your bedroom door.
“Mistah steeb? Am ou wakeys?”
You hear Moses ask. Ever since the incident you bathed Moses and his special friend and are letting them stay in frostings safe room for now. Frosting prefers your room anyways. The two are good enough that you didn’t mind bringing them in. Frosting loves having friends. The couple love having frosting as a friend too. The three do nothing but play together all day.
You’ve gotten many offers for the pair ever since posting about alicorn foals but something’s been bugging you. A rainbow alicorn. If they really had a rainbow alicorn then that means they could potentially have more. Even without the rainbow part alicorn foals are still worth atleast a hundred bucks a pop. While you’re by no means hard up for cash, you could always use extra money. Maybe upgrade a few pieces of old farm equipment. You’ve decided to take down the listing for now and try your hand at breeding the pair. Atleast these two are actually good Fluffies.
“I know I know. Yaaaawn you guys are ready for breakfast.” You get out of bed and fill all three of their bowls with fluffy kibble. Sometimes you wonder if the kibble is really made for Fluffies or if it’s just old dog food they’ve repackaged. Guess it doesn’t matter. They eat it and it’s cheap.
You put a pot of coffee on, put two slices of bread in the toaster, and scramble yourself some eggs.
“Wazzbewwy wub nyu homesies. Nu hab Nummies ebewyday since wiv wif owd hooman mummah.”
Rassberry says happily eating the kibble.
“Mosees nebah hab Nummies ebewyday. Mosees wub mistah steeb!”
You never really thought about it but they’re right. They aren’t really used to having a steady three meals a day. You hope it doesn’t hurt their stomachs.
You walk outside with your food and coffee and sit in your rocking chair. The Fluffies who’ve already scarfed down their food all three run behind you.
You watch as the three run around through the fenced in yard. Playing Huggy tag and chasing their beach ball. Rassberry is keeping up but barely. You can tell the effects of being pregnant are starting to take their toll. Pretty soon she’ll have to give up running and playing till they’re born. It’s only been a week since you gave them permission to have more.
They were happy. You still can’t believe they held off that long. Guess they realized that having foals while on the run wasn’t a good idea. You haven’t seen any more feral fluffies on your property since the last incident. Every time your phone gets an alert from the cameras you cringe Hoping it’s just a deer.
Your phone buzzes. You hope to God it’s not the camera. To your relief it’s just a text from Sandra. You expect the usual stuff about sales at the shelters store.
“Hey mistah steeb. Check this shit out .”
Beneath the text she sends an image of two matching his and her’s collars for fluffy mates.
They’d be perfect for Moses and Raspberry. Plus you’d get frosting something too so she won’t get jealous.
You text back.
“Keep those. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
You stand up. Finish off your coffee and yell for the Fluffies.
“Alright you three! Time to come inside for a bit. I gotta go into town.”
Frosting runs up to you.
“GASP TOWNSIES! CAN FWOSIN GO!?!”
She says giving upsies arms.
“Sorry girl. I won’t be long.”
She looks disappointed as you walk back inside. You lock the Fluffies inside the safe room and turn on fluffy TV to keep them occupied.
You double check to make sure everything is locked then off you go.
Daddeh left you and your fluffy friends in your safe room.
You wanted to go with Daddeh but oh well. Atleast you have friends. Plus Daddeh left the TV on.
“Otay fiwwies an cowts! Fwuffy TeeBee pwesents!.. BABBEHS!!!”
Your heart skips a beat. You looooove the babbehs show. You know you can’t have any yourself but you still know that babbehs are the bestest thing ever.
“YAY! FWOSIN WUB BABBEHS!”
You yell as you run up to the TV.
“Wassbewwy wub babbehs tu! Am soon mummah again. Nu can wait for tummeh babbehs be hewe!”
“Fwosin nu wait etha! Fwosin wub pway wif babbehs. Fwosin bet dey be pwetty! Jus wike wassbewwy!”
Rassberry gets blushies as you call her pretty.
“Speciaw fwen awways hab pwetty babbehs. Nu can wait ta be Daddeh again!”
Moses says. You turn your attention back to the TV.
“Dis bwight time we wiww be wookin at da gwayson famiwy. Dey hab pwetty pink wingeh babbehs.”
A pink wingey chirpy babbeh is shown on the screen. It’s so pwetty. It reminds you of your Daddeh. Not your human Daddeh but your old fluffy Daddeh.
Suddenly you see something out of the corner of your see places. You turn your head just in time to catch the face of another fluffy peaking through the safe room window. As soon as he realizes he’s been spotted he runs off.
“Dewe am udda fwuffy!”
You say pointing at the window.
Rassberry rattles off.
“Maybe Nyu fwen. Maybe bad fwuffy. We nee teww mistah steeb when he cum backsies”
Moses says. You agree. Youd love to have another new friend.
You play with your friends and watch TV for many forevers (three hours). You feel your tummy rumbling.
“Fwosin hope Daddeh cum backsies soon. Am awmos Nummie tim. Fwosin stawt ta hab tummeh owies.”
Almost on cue you hear your daddeh’s metah munstah pull in.
You and your friends run up and sit patiently in front of the door.
You finally get back home. You feel a little bad for taking so long but they’ll forgive you. You bought them and yourself pizza. In truth you took so long because you were on a date. You couldn’t believe it when Sandra said yes to dinner after she got off. You waited in the parking for an hour. But enough of that. You’ve got hungry Fluffies to feed.
You grab the pizza out of the passenger seat and walk in. You can hear frosting knocking on the safe room door.
You open it to a frenzy of leg Huggies and “fwuffy miss ou’s”
“Daddeh hab Nummies? Fwosin an fwens HAB tummy huwties.”
You look down at the begging fluffy.
“I know I took a long time there kid. To make it up to you daddy brought home pizza.”
Frostings eyes light up.
“PIZZA NUMMIES! HOOWAY! Pizza Nummies is second bestest onwy ta gud sketti Nummies!”
Moses asks with his head turned.
“Is wike bwead Nummies but wif sketti sauce an cheesies on top.”
Moses gets a look of wonder.
“Am sounds dewightfuw. Mosees can nu wait foh pizza Nummies!”
“Nu fohget wassbewwy! Nee Nummies foh tummeh babbehs!”
She says trotting out behind them. You swear she’s gotten bigger in the short time you’ve been gone.
Frosting and rassberry run to the kitchen Moses sits there and suddenly gets a serious expression.
“Mistah steeb. Fwosin see udda fwuffy out window.”
You kneel down and try to whisper.
“Another fluffy. Are you sure?”
“Yes. Fwosin see udda fwuffy. Mosees could smeww dem. Mosees just thought Mosees needed nudda baff befoh fwosin see.”
How did your cameras not pick it up. You check your phone and open the camera app.
“Your subscription to safe cam has expired. Please tap here to renew your subscription.”
God damnit. The one app that doesn’t autocharge is the one where you want it to.
You tap and pay for another month. Suddenly the cameras around your house send quite a few pictures of what looks like an orange unicorn pacing around your house. You must have forgotten to shut the gate behind you. It circles your house seemingly looking for ways in. Good luck with that fucker. This house is sealed. Ever since shit head found his way in through your vents you’ve made sure to seal absolutely every nook and cranny on your house. After about an hour he walks off.
He passed a couple of cameras on his way back to wherever he was going. You watch him pass both barns and your strawberry patch and make his way back to the wooded area of your property. After that
You lose track of him. Well well well. Looks like tonights gonna be exciting. You haven’t tracked an animal since you were sixteen and gutshot a deer. Thing ran for miles. This will be easier as you’ll just have to follow the trail of fluffy shit orange undoubtedly left behind. But first. Pizza time.
Instead of their bowls you give them paper plates.
You give each of them a slice. Normally one is more than enough for a fluffy. They waste no time tearing in. As normal frosting takes the pepperoni off of hers and eats it separately. The two lovebirds ravenously tear into their food. Licking up every last drop of sauce and grease. Satisfied with their meal the three waddle off to their safe room to take an after dinner nap. You dim the lights and lock their door behind you. Tonight you’re going hunting.
Like normal you dress in your ghillie suit. Put on your boots and backpack. Dawn your night vision goggles and take your AR with you.
You lock the house up and set out on your quest.
You walk out to the Forested part of your property and quietly make your way to the last camera you saw orange at. As predicted you see a trail of shit. Not a lot. A pebble here, a log there. Honestly you expected more. Probably not eating much. You finally get close enough to hear a voice.
“Whah dummeh fin?”
You hear one say.
“Gwapefwuit wook aww awoun hooman housie. Nu way in. Buh smawty. Dewe am udda fwuffies inside! Dey hab bestest toysies. An bestest TeeBee! Dey pwobabwy eben hab skettis!”
You hear a couple Fluffies gasp.
“Hewd nee get in hooman housie. Hewd nee bestest toysies an TeeBee moh den dummeh fwuffies! We nee make dewe wand hewd wand!”
He jabbers on. God these things are so predictable.
“Smawty. Wha do wif udda fwuffies? Gwapefwuit saw two mawe an one stawion.”
“Hmm. We ask if dey wan join hewd. Can awways use moh fwuffies. If dey dun wan we make dem weav oh gib sowwy hoofsies.”
The smarty says.
“Why hewd nee dew Nummies smawty? Am gween Nummies ebewywew.”
What sounds like a foal says.
“Ou nu undastan babbeh. A few bwight times ago vaniwwa see wed weafy Nummies. Dat means cowd times am coming. Nee moh Nummies. An Bettew pwace foh nestie.”
Well they certainly aren’t the worst herd you’ve seen by far. Didn’t mention anything about rape or killing. Of course that doesn’t mean you’re just going to let them try to invade your house. You decide to try to reason with them. Give them an ultimatum. You walk over and sit in front of the hole.
“Smawty kno it am hawd. Buh hewd nee Nummies an housie. We wose many fwuffies wast cowd time. Can nu wose moh.”
The smarty says.
It being the end of September. He has a point. The leaves are starting to change.
“Or perhaps you could ask politely for a place to spend the winter.”
They go silent. You can smell the distinctly rancid scent of fluffy shit. No doubt scaredy poopies.
“I’m not going to hurt you. If you’re all good Fluffies. I may help you.”
You hear murmurs inside the fox den.
“Smawty wha do?”
“Fwuffy am sowwy. Nu mean ta make scawedy poopies”
Finally you hear one speak up.
“O…Otay. If nu huwt. Smawty cum outsies.”
From inside the hole a bright purple fluffy unicorn creeps out of the cave. You can see the orange fluffy behind him.
“Wha… Wha am ou?”
He asks. You love playing into your role.
“I am the mossy monster. This land and everything on it is under my protection… Including the house you were talking about.”
“I…if ou am munstah… Why nu huwt fwuffy?”
“Do you want me to hurt you? Not all monsters are bad my dear boy. I only hurt bad Fluffies.”
“I think I can help you. You can’t stay in the house with the other Fluffies but perhaps I have another house you can stay in… Only until spring. And only if you agree to follow my rules.”
You can practically see the gears turning in the smarties head.
“Ou gib fwuffy housie? Ou be hewds nyu Daddeh?”
He says with wonder in his eyes.
“No. Like I said. I’ll help you. But you are only staying during the coming cold times. Once warm times come back you must leave.”
In one sentence his wonder shatters. But he perks back up.
“Otay nice munstah. Hewd fowwow wuwes. Hewd nee housie foh cowd times. Hewd cum outsies. Nice munstah gun gib hewd nyu nestie. Buh onwy foh cowd times.”
At his command the rest crawl out. Four mares, two stallions, around five talkie foals and four chirpy foals. A modest herd but certainly not small.
All of the mares surprisingly don’t look pregnant. Maybe this smarty is smart enough to know having foals in winter is a terrible idea.
You flick the flashlight on the front of your rifle on and lead the herd to your old barn. The one Moses and Raspberry slept in.
“Here it is. Now granted it’s not really warm but definitely better than being in the cold. Plus you have straw to sleep In.”
The talky foals immediately run in.
“NYU HOUSIE NYU HOUSIE!”
“Babbeh Neba see housie befoh. It am pwettiest housie eba!”
While the foals run about the herd make themselves at home picking spots in the straw. Claiming it as their bed.
“Sniff sniff… Smeww udda fwuffies. Whewe am?”
“You’re not the first to stay here and I doubt you’ll be the last. What you’re smelling is the poop corner. Make sure all your herd knows to only poop their. If they poop anywhere else that’s bad poopies, and they’ll be made to eat it.”
You can see a bead of fear sweat fall from the smarties forehead at the thought of having to eat shit.
“Now listen up all of you. If you wanna stay here there are rules. If you break one you will be kicked out.”
At the threat of eviction they all listen and watch you closely. Except the foals who are running around playing.
“Rule one. You don’t ever go to the other house.
Rule two. No poopy babbehs. All babies are treated the same. If I see any baby eating poop or not getting fed the mummah gets kicked out.”
A blue mare seems a little freaked out by that one.
" Rule three. The opposite is true too. No bestest babbehs. If I catch any of you choosing a bestest I’ll kick you and bestest out into the cold to freeze.
Rule four. And listen up because this one’s important. No fighting. You all will get along or you’re out. Any questions?"
A yellow pegasus mare looks at the blue one.
“Why ou su newvous Bewwa? Couwd it be dat ou WEFT ou poopy babbeh back at Howe nestie?”
At that Old orange looks up.
“SPECIAW FWEN DID WHAT!?! WHEW BWACK BABBEH!?! HE NEE DADDEH! HE STIWW NEE MIWKIES!”
Well it is still a feral herd. Just because the smarty seems good doesn’t mean the others are.
" I’ll go get it. You folks stay here. Get settled in. I’ll deal with you when I get back."
You say to the blue mare.
You trudge back to the hole. You can hear the foals crying as you get close.
“Buuhuuhuu! Nu faiw NU FAIW! How cum mummah nu wub babbeh? Mummah wub bwuddas an sissies. Babbeh nu am poopy huuhuu!”
You stand there listening to the little guy.
What’s wrong little one?"
You ask. The foal creeps out of the hole. The father was right. He’s just barely out of the chirpy phase.
“Huuhuu mummah weav babbeh. Say am poopy. Huuhuuhuu.”
You reach down and scratch behind the little guys ear.
“You’re not poopy. Your a perfectly good little baby. How about I take you back to your daddy?”
“Weawy? Ou take babbeh backsies ta Daddeh? Fank ou nice mistah. Babbeh wub ou!”
You hike back to the barn with the black pegasus foal in your hand. You stop by the door. Curious to hear them chatter while they don’t know you’re there.
“Dummeh mawe! Nu weab babbeh!”
You hear orange say.
“HUUHUU Pwease nu gib moh huwties. Fwuffy taut nu nee Nummie poopie babbeh nu moh! Hab nyu housie.”
“Dummeh mawe! We keep Nummie babbeh jus in case. Nu can wet pwetty babbehs go hungwy. Dey nee bestest miwkies!”
You hear orange say. Apparently a child missing alone wasn’t why he was mad.
“Twue. Nice munstah say he gib hewd housie. Nu say he gib Nummies. Hewd may stiww nee Nummie babbehs.”
The smarty says. Well shoot. Maybe one of these days you’ll find a decent herd.
“Dis am gud nestie foh nao buh stiww nee ta wowk on gettin in hooman housie. Nee dos toysies an day TeeBee. Hewd obey munstah wuwes foh nao buh wemembah. Smawtie in chawge. We twick munstah inta wetting us stay hewe. Soon we take hooman housie. Smawty wuuuuub TeeBee. Hewd NEE teebee!.”
Well they already broke rule number one… And a rule that you didn’t even make which is no eating each other. The cruelty these adorable creatures are capable of never ceases to surprise you.
And they’re still planning to invade your house… Great.
You look at the cooing black baby.
“Hey little guy… What’s your name?”
He looks up at you and says in his little cutesy voice.
“Babbeh namesies am Nummie!”
Of course. Poor kid doesn’t realize that Nummie isn’t just his name.
Well know what to do. You have a herd of baby eaters living in your barn… You’re not exactly angry like you are with the last two herds but you certainly don’t want to let them go.
You walk off towards your house.
“Hey little guy. How about a new momma? One that won’t call you poopy?”
He looks at you.
“N…NYU mummah? Mummah day wins babbeh… Sniffle huuhuuhuu babbeh wub ta hab mummah dat wub babbeh!”
You take the foal back to your house. You make him a shoebox nest and sit him on your bed.
“Alright little guy. I’ll be right back. Then I’ll let you meet your new mummah. Just wait right here.”
“Otay mistah. Babbeh stay wite heew an gib bwanky Huggies.”
You leave and go back to your barn.
You walk in and all the traitors go quiet.
“Whewe am babbeh mistah munstah.”
You look up at old orange.
“He’s dead. I went and he was being eaten by a stray dog.”
He looks up at you.
“HUUHUUHUUU! BWACK BABBEH AM FOWEVEW SWEEPIES! BUUHUUHUU!”
You stand there watching the liar fake cry.
You’ll start your first punishment tomorrow. For the crime of eating innocent foals you need to think of something fitting… Wait… You still have that old turkey fryer you almost burned the house down with. Oh this is gonna be fun.