Here’s part 1 of Tard’s not so grand adventure. Enjoy folks.
You sit outside on your porch watching your Fluffies play. Like you do most every evening.
“Fwosin gon getchu babbeh!”
Your fluffy frosting says.
“Nu! Bwackbewwy am fastest babbeh eva! Auntie fwosin nu catch!”
Blackberry says running off. Blackberry has grown a good bit since you took him in two weeks ago. Over doubling in size. You’ve started the weaning process already.
Blackberry seams to be weary of the Milky kibble though. Most of the foals you’ve weaned take to it rather quickly. But oh well. He’ll get there. With his solid black fluff he ought to fetch o decent price too. Even his mane is coming in jet black. He’s pretty much invisible at night time.
Rassberry has opted to just lay in the sun warming her fluff. Her stomach is hanging low now as she waddles. You figure it’s only a matter of days before her first litter is born. Though you won’t tell them this. The quality of their foals will decide if they’re kept by you or not. Even if not you’re gonna make sure they go to a loving home. If you do keep them you’re planning on building the fluffy equivalent of a nursery. That way frosting can have her room back and the couple have a room to themselves and their foals.
The nursery is definitely gonna be more suitable for foals than adult fluffies. Padding instead of carpet on the floor. Murals of dancing foals on the walls. A separate thermostat to ensure it’s kept warm enough for the foals even when the rest of the house isn’t. And last but not least two good cameras with microphones in separate corners of the room. If you’re gonna be making money on this you’re willing to go all out.
Suddenly you get an notification on your phone. It’s an alert from the camera in the wooded part of your property. Fuuuuuck. No more feral herds. They’re starting to just become a real nuisance. Looking at the camera you’re relieved to only see one yellow fluffy. Upon closer inspection it looks more like a really big foal. Either that or it’s had it’s tail ripped off and it doesn’t have a mane. Either way you decide it’s worth checking out.
“Alright guys! Time to come in for a bit!”
You yell.
“Aww buh Daddeh! Fwosin awmos catch babbeh.”
Frosting complains.
“Ah ah ah frosting. No back talking or no dessert tonight.”
Tonight is dessert night for your Fluffies. Frostings eyes immediately get wide.
“NEBAMIN! FWOSIN BE GUD!”
She says walking in the house. Blackberry follows. Moses helps Rassberry gets up and waddles over. You help her up the stairs as they go inside. You put on your suit and go to investigate.
Locking the door as you leave you take your truck the majority of the way. Stopping just outside of the woods. You can tell it’s close. It must have a foal. You hear chirping like how newborn Fluffies do.
You sneak up on it and… You don’t quite know what it is. It looks like a giant chirpy foal. It peeps and chirps. Finally you decide to show yourself. As you stand up it notices you. It runs in a circle screaming before running head first into a stump.
The impact sends a shockwave through it’s fat rolls.
“Damn I’ve never seen a foal THIS FAT!”
You yell.
As it seems to be out cold you just pick it up. Taking it back to your truck you sit it in the passenger seat. You take a picture of it and send it to Sandra asking what the hell it is.
Waiting for a response you drive back home.
You wake up laying in what feels like grassies. The last thing you remember is head hurties and someone calling you fat.
You open your see places. Standing over you is a human. He doesn’t look like your Daddeh. Daddeh has a big beard and wrinkles. This one has a little beard and looks young.
You look up at him.
“CHEEP CHIRP CHEEP!”
You say.
Another human walks into your field of vision. A woman with pretty red not fluff pulled back into a fluffy tail.
“Sorry Steve. I can’t take him. Though I have to say I’ve never seen a grown SBS fluffy before. Usually they starve to death the minute the mother stops producing milk.”
The lady says.
“You sure Sandy? I mean you do run a shelter.”
The man says.
“I know but it’s actually illegal. As cruel as it sounds SBS foals are considered defective units and can’t be sold or adopted out. I have to euthanize any that are born at the shelter. Which isn’t many because they’re rare. Normally it only happens in overbred mares and cases of fluffy incest.”
“Ew”
The man who you guess is called Steve says.
“I know right? Only thing I can recommend is putting him online and see if anyone wants him. Other than that there’s not much I can do. I don’t wanna give him the shot.”
The two talk for a little longer before the lady leaves.
“Whelp. Looks like you’re gonna be here for a bit little guy. Better get used to it.”
He walks inside. Not wanting to be outside anymore you walk into what you Guess is your nyu housie. It’s so pretty.
“WHOAH! Hold on there Tex. You stay out here. Inside the house is only for pet Fluffies. You’re… Well you’re just kind of a tenant here until I find you somewhere else. It’s not cold. It’s June and my yard is fenced in. You’ll be fine. Now let me go get you some food.”
He says before scooting you out the door with his foot and closing it.
… Not allowed in the housie? Is that even possible? You’ve always lived in a housie. It’s where Fluffies are supposed to be. You need to be in housie. It’s too warm out here. You’re already sweating. You hate sweating. Mummah always gave you licky cleanies when you did and took away all the icky sweat.
A few minutes later Steve comes out.
“Alright bud. Here’s a pillow to sleep on and a bowl of foal formula. It’s not a bottle but I’m sure you’ll figure out how to drink it.”
He sits a shiny metal bowl down in front of you. You sniff it before you realize.
“CHEEP!”
MIWKIES!!!
You try to suckle but that doesn’t work. It takes a minute before you get the hang of slurping it like wawah.
“… CHIRP? PTUEY!”
It’s icky bottle miwkies! How could he dare give you this trashy miwkies.
“CHIRP CHEEP CHEEP!”
You yell angrily.
“You’re welcome little guy… Atleast I think you’re thanking me. You Fluffies are weird.”
He goes back inside.
Well. Sadly it looks like these are your only Nummies.
Reluctantly you sip the icky miwkies. Licking the bowl. Your tummy is full but you’re far from satisfied. You miss mummah. She’d give you Nummie miwkies and sing you to sleep now. There’s no way she meant those meanie words. Could she? You’re only a widdwe babbeh. Mummahs widdwe babbeh. This is all dummeh Daddeh’s fault. He turned mummah against you.
You lay on the pillow. It’s comfortable but nothing like mummahs fluff.
You lay there for what seems like many forevers. The left over milky droplets in the bowl don’t smell pretty anymore.
Suddenly the door comes open and to your surprise more Fluffies run out.
“CHEEP CHEEP!?!”
Is this your nyu famiwy?
“Fwosin wub outside time Daddeh!”
A mare! Mares mean miwkies. Good miwkies! Nyu mummah is here!
You get up and run as fast as your chubby legs can move to the mare.
“Oh hew… Um… Big babbeh?”
She says looking you. Finally someone that knows you are in fact just a babbeh.
“CHEEP CHIRP CHEEP!”
You walk behind her hungry for miwkies but… She doesn’t have miwkie pwaces. What?.. Your thinky pwace has hurties. First they say you can’t go in pretty housie. Now there’s a mare with no miwkie pwaces? Even when mummah didn’t have miwkies she still had big miwkie pwaces. Something strange is going on here.
“Wha am big babbeh doin?.. Oooh. Sowwy big babbeh. Fwosin nu hab miwkies. Fwosin nebah be mummah. Fwosin am fixies… Big babbeh wan pway baww?”
She rolls a big colorful round thing your way. It gets closer. ITS COMING TOO FAST! YOU DON’T WANT FOREVER SLEEPIES!
“CHIRP CHEEPY CHEEP!”
You cover your thinky place with you hoofsies and close your see places. You feel something light bounce off of you. Without restraint you unleash a torrent of liquid scaredy poopies behind you.
“Big babbeh. Nu make bad poopies. If we poopies outside we gotta do it in da poopy cownah.”
She says pointing towards a corner by the fence with old poopies in it.
“If you make bad poopies Daddeh make ou num it ow he wub ou smeww pwace in it.”
“Good girl frosting.”
You look up and see Steve standing above you.
“Whelp. You heard her bud. Either eat it or I rub your nose in it. Your choice.”
You look up at him then at the puddle of poopies. Does he really expect you to num poopies. That’s stupid. Poopies Aren’t for babbehs. Only mummah nums your poopies whenever you miss the litterbox. You’re not mummah. Therefore you don’t have to num. The dummeh no miwkies mare should num the poopies. She’s the one that scared you.
You turn away and start to walk off from the excrement. Suddenly you feel yourself grabbed by your neck muscle (fat roll so fat it can be used as a handle)
“I see you’ve chosen the nose.”
With one quick shove you’re face first into the rancid pile of your own poopies.
“CHEEPCHEEP-BLUURGHLLE!”
You try to scream but being liquid your mouth fills with the horrid liquid. You feel your tummy rumble.
“BLECH!”
Before you know it. Sicky wawahs come out of your talky place. You’re tummy has wowstest owies.
“Eww. Okay I see I was right to leave you outside Grease Ball. Hey that’s a good name for ya. Say no if you don’t wanna be named Grease Ball.”
He says.
“CHEEP PEEP!”
You say.
“Alright I knew you’d like it.”
Grease Ball? This nyu Daddeh is a dumbeh. Your name is TARD! It’s always been Tard. It’s what makes you special. You wish you weren’t just a babbeh so you could tell dumbeh nyu Daddeh.
You don’t feel pretty. All you smell is poopies and sicky wawahs. You want mummah.
“CHEEPCHEEPCHEEPCHEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
HUUHUUHUUHUUU! WHY CAN’T YOU BE A TALKIE BABBEH YET!?!
“Alright. I think that oughta learn you. Let’s get you cleaned up. Honestly you probably need a bath anyways.”
The nice mistah picks you up and brings you in the pretty housie. It’s heavenly. As you walk in it’s nice and cool. Just like your old housie.
“Man I wish I could kiss whoever invented air conditioning.”
Steve says. He sits you down in a big white bowl thingy. Suddenly he turns a handle and… WAWAH! WAHWAH BAD FOH BABBEHS! GOTTA GET AWAY!
You try to jump out of the tub but you’re so fat the jump just makes you fall backwards.
“CHEEHEEHEEEEP!”
You scream.
“Now calm down it’s just some warm water.”
It was the scariest few moments of your life. First he made your fluff wet. Then he covered you in white bubbles that smelled pretty. But when you opened your eyes they stung like getting sorry hoofsies from Daddeh did.
After many forevers (6 minutes) he took you out and dried you off.
“Alright. Time to go back outside.”
He says. Suddenly you hear something getting closer.
“Mummah wub babbehs. Babbehs wub mummah. Can’t wait for tummeh babbehs. Come outsies big an Stwong!”
Mummah?
“CHIRP CHIRP!?!”
A big mare walks into the room. You smell… REAL MIWKIES!?!
“What do ya need rassberry?”
Steve says.
“Wassbewwy jus wan knu if it am awmos Nummie tim mistah steeb? Tummy babbehs makin wassbewwy hungwy dis bwight tim.”
She laughs.
“Almost girl. About another half an hour. Why don’t ya go outside with Moses and frosting for now.”
Steve says.
“Otay mistah steeb!”
As she turns around you see them. Big, Juicy, Leaky miwkie pwaces just begging for drinkies. It’s beautiful. It’s like seeing Aphrodite in the flesh. You WANT it. You NEED it.
Suddenly you’re being carried again.
“Alright Grease Ball. Back outside for you.”
Outside… NO! NOOO! YOU NEED THE PRETTY HOUSIE! You don’t wanna go back out in the meanie hawt times. You wanna be in here where you’re not sweating.
You pass by a doorway on your way out and inside you see a big beautiful safe room just like the safe room you and mummah had. Full of toysies and you can hear a TeeBee.
“CHIRP CHEEP!”
You yell and try to jerk away desperately reaching for the comfort of the safe room.
“Nope. Sorry Grease Ball. That room is off limits. That’s my Fluffies safe room. You’ll be fine outside.”
As he takes you outside you feel temperature change. Like walking into a wall of solid heat.
He sits you down on your pillow. You sulk for a minute before seeing the same Mare in the yard sunning herself with what looks like a bigger talkie babbeh sleeping in her fluff.
You perk up and run as fast as your flabby legs can go. Suddenly your stopped by a big yellow hoofsie.
You look up and see a big stallion. He has yellow fluff almost like you. But he has Wingies and a pretty mane.
“Howd on nyu fwen. Wassbewwy can nu pway. She am soon mummah wif Mosees babbehs. Mosees can pway if ou wan?”
He says looking your way. She’s a soon mummah? That explains the miwkies. You don’t wanna play.
“Chirp cheep.”
You say trying to go around the stallion. He puts his hoofsie in front of you and pushed you back.
“Hey! Mosees teww big babbeh dat he nu pway wif Speciaw fwen. She hab babbehs. Nu can pway. Stahp it.”
This dummeh stallion is trying to keep you from the miwkies. You’re just a widdwe babbeh. You DESERVE those miwkies. You try again. This time running past the stallion making a Bee line towards the mares miwkie pwaces. Suddenly your tail has wowstest owies and you stop.
“CHEEEEEEEP!”
You yell. You look behind you and the dummeh stallion is giving your tail wowstest bities. You see booboo juice around his teefies.
Suddenly Steve comes up and rips you two apart.
“Moses! What’s going on here?”
“Dummeh big babbeh nu weave speciaw fwen awone! Mosees teww him she nu can pway buh he nu wisten!”
The dummeh stallion says.
“Oh really? Well in that case.”
Steve drops the dummeh stallion and he runs over to the miwkie mare.
Steve takes you behind the house.
“Geez. Ya take someone in and all they do is be ungrateful.”
He pulls a weird black stick out of his pocket.
“Only two lashes this time. But leave rassberry alone grease Ball.”
You don’t care. You just want miwKIES-
THWACK
“CHEEP CHEEEEEEEP!”
You feel a sharp pain right above your tail.
THWACK
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Another sharp pain straight across your poopy place. It hurts so bad. You cry. Tears stream down your fat cheeks from the pain. You’ve never experienced pain like this before. Closest was when Daddeh gave you sorry hoofsies but that was nothing compared to this.
“Geez ya wimp. I used the sorry stick Jr. Next time I’ll use the adult size one. Which is what you are you dumb fuck.”
He lets you go. You run back to your pillow. Collapsing on it. You suck your front hoofsie as you sulk. What kind of evil place have you ended up in. You don’t deserve this. You deserve Huggies and love and miwkies. Toysies and TeeBee and… and mummah. You want mummah So bad. You’re just a widdwe babbeh for crying out loud.
