Based on @Pastry_Knight’s Childbirth artwork
“Keep pushies speciaw-fwiend, babbehs am comin.”
“Huu, babbehs gib Day-see biggesh huwties.”
“It’s ok Daisy, you’re doing such a good job, I can see the first one coming out now.”
“HNNNNNGGGHHHH!!!”
‘Chirp chirp, peep’
“It am fiwst babbeh speciaw-fwiend, hab pwetty bwoo Fwuff wike yu.”
“Ba… babbeh? Day-see hab biggesh heawt-happies, wan see babbeh.”
“In a moment Daisy, you’ve still got more to come, judging from the size of you, it’s going to be a big litter.”
“Heaw dat speciaw-fwiend, gun hab su many babbehs tu see gwow big an stwong.”
“Dat… sound… gud.”
“Donald, can you get over here and get the baby clean, might be a while before mum’s ready to get to them.”
“Ok daddeh, yu du bestesh job speciaw-fwiend, Donuhd keep babbeh wawm an safe tiww yu am weady.”
“Day-see hab biggesh… tiwies. Wan… wan gu sweepies.”
“Can’t sleep just yet Daisy, got some a lot more foals to deliver, keep your strength up and… oh shit.”
“Wha wong daddeh?”
“Shit, shit, shit, no. Daisy can you hear me?”
“Daddeh? Wha am wong, wai dewe su mush boo-boo joose?”
‘Peep peep peep’
“Day-see am… gud dad……daddeh, jus need wit….wittwe westies.”
“NO! No Daisy, don’t go to sleep, do NOT go to sleep you hear me. Donald, keep her awake no matter what, shout at her, hit her if you have to but keep her awake.”
“Nu wan gib huwties tu…”
“DO IT OR WE LOSE HER!”
‘Chirp peep chirp’
“Huuu, speciaw-fwiend, pwease stay wakies, daddeh say sweepies nyo am bad. Sweepies wata afta babbehs am hewe.”
“Bu… Day-see… sweepie… nyo.”
“Nu speciaw-fwiend, nu sweepies nyo. Sweepies bad.”
‘Peep peep’
“Jus…… wittwe…… west.”
“Speciaw-fwiend? SPECIAW-FWIEND!!!”
Donald woke from his nightmare with a yelp, he often woke up like that these days. Unable to get a restful sleep since….
He looked over to the other side of the bed, it was still and cold and empty, maybe daddeh was right and they should get a smaller bed so Donald wouldn’t feel as lonely. But this was still smelt like her, and he wasn’t ready to let go yet.
At that point the door opened and Daddy walked in. “Hey buddy, I heard you yelp, you ok?”
“Huu, miss speciaw-fwiend su muchies daddeh. Wai speciaw-fwiend gu foweba sweepies?”
Daddy sat down and stroke Donald on his back. “I don’t know what to tell you bud. Two most natural things in the world are given birth and dying, sometimes those two can overlap, nothing we can do about that.”
“Can daddeh hewp Donuhd nu hab bad sweepy pictas nu mowe?”
“Still having nightmares?”
“Same wun aww da time, nu wike meanie sweepy pictas, wen dey weave Donuhd awone?”
“I don’t know bud, these things they… there’s no answer I can give you that will make sense. They might be gone in a couple days, they might take a couple years, they might never go away at all.”
“Huu, Donuhd jus wan hab gud sweepies gain.”
Daddy reached forward and gave Donald a soft cuddle. “I know you do pal, I know you do. You want me to clean you up?”
Donald didn’t answer, but Daddy felt his head nodding against his shoulder. With how often Donald’s nightmares were occurring, Daddy had placed down some high-absorbent sheets in the bed to catch any accidents. Carefully picking up Donald with one hand, Daddy scooped the scardie poopies into the sheets with the other and carried them both to the bathroom where he gently placed Donald into the tub and deposed of the poop down the toilet.
“Am sowwy fow bad poopies daddeh.”
“Hey, what have I told you before Donald. Any poopies you have from a nightmare are not bad poopies. Now stand up, I’ll wash your backside for you.”
With sluggish movements, Donald stood up while Daddy took the shower head off the wall and brought it down to Donald’s level. After making sure the water was comfortably warm, he squirted some Fluff-Safe Shampoo onto Donald’s stained rear and ran the shower head over him.
They had gone through this routine at least three times a week for the last three weeks, and Donald still felt ashamed of it every time, pooping himself like a dumb baby. Daddy was nice about it, but the embarrassment never left him.
Trying to take his mind off the situation, Donald’s eyes glanced out of the open bathroom door to across the hallway where Daddy’s bedroom door was. It was closed but Donald could see the beam of a nightlight coming from the bottom.
“How am babbeh?” Donald asked so quietly it was almost as if he didn’t want Daddy to hear him ask it.
“Sky? She’s good, she misses you y’know.”
“Donuhd knyo, bu babbeh wook jus wike speciaw-fwiend, gib Donuhd heawt-huwties tu wook at hew.”
“And it gives Sky heart-hurties when you don’t look at her at all. I know it’s difficult pal but she’s lost just as much as you have, more possibly because she doesn’t even understand where her mother has gone, or what she did that was so wrong that her father can’t even look at her.”
“Babbeh nu du aneefing wong.” Donald sniffed out near silently.
“Try telling her that. It can only mean so much coming from me, she needs to hear it from her father.”
Donald said nothing else for the rest of the wash, his mind too frazzled from the night’s events to think too hard of his situation. He only hoped the rest of the night would go a little smoother.
The next day, Donald took his morning walk to the garden, he picked a flower from the dirt and carried it over to the other side of the fence where a small mound had been dug up and a crucifix set in place over it.
Donald couldn’t read, but Daddy had told him the crucifix said ‘Daisy’.
He gently placed the flower on top of her grave. “Hewwo gain speciaw-fwiend, am Donuhd. Hope yu hab biggesh heawt-happies wiv udda babbehs in skettiwand. Fwuffy am hewe wiv wittew babbeh Sky an wooking afta hew so… Donuhd am wying, nu knyo wau. Donuhd am bad daddeh, nu can gib babbeh da wub she need, wan yu wub babbeh bu gib biggesh heawt-huwties. Miss yu speciaw-fwiend, hab biggesh sadies dat yu neba git tu see Sky. Yu gib hew aww da wub in da wowwd.”
“Whewe mummah?”
Donald wiped the tears from his eyes and turned towards the tiny voice behind him, Sky had crawled her way out of the house and wobbled her tiny legs over to him. Donald felt his heart crack a little more when he realised he hadn’t even recognised his own babbeh’s voice.
“Nu see mummah, wan see mummah.”
Donald sighed. “Mummah am foweba sweepies babbeh, neba see hew gain.”
“Nu undastan, wan see mummah. Wai mummah nu wub babbeh?”
“Mummah du wub babbeh, bu am in pwace babbeh nu can git tu.”
Sky looked from her father to the mound of dirt, then without warning she shot off and started digging up the gravedirt.
“BABBEH NU!”
“MUMMAH AM STUCKIES IN GWOUND! BABBEH SABE MUMMAH!”
Sky’d infantile hoofs couldn’t do much damage to the grave, but Donald saw specks of dirt flying back and he flipped out, using his teeth he grabbed Sky off of Daisy’s grave and pulled her backwards, dropping her harshly onto the grass.
“BABBEH AM DUMMEH! DAT AM SPECIAW-FWIEND WESTING PWACE, NEBA GIB HUWTIES TU WESTING PWACE EBA GAIN, DU DUMMEH BABBEH UNDASTAN?”
‘Peep’
The anger within him vanished, and Donald saw the frightened child in front of him. Her tiny little body quivering with fear, a hoof suckling into her mouth, a tiny trickle of blood down her back from where he had bitten her too hard.
Shame and shock smacked him straight in the face, his breathing got shallow, his heartbeat quickened, his vision blurred. With every thought in his head sounding off the alarm bells, Donald began to stumble away, no clue where he was going, just so long as he could find somewhere to breath properly.
Eventually he found a spot along the fence with a missing board, thankfully it wasn’t large enough for a whole Fluffy to fit through, but it was just enough for Donald to stick his muzzle through, giving him access to the air outside of his garden which – in his head at least – felt smooth and easier to breath with.
But just as his panic attack was beginning to subside, his returning vision saw two feral Fluffies cross in front of him, a stallion and a mare with six foals on her back. They pair were filthy, malnourished and homeless, but they were alive, they were together and they were happy.
And all the pain flooded back over Donald.
“Huu, it nu am faiwsies. Wai Donuhd nu hab famiwy, wai speciaw-fwiend nu gib gud babbehs wike ebewy udda mummah, wai Daddeh nu du mowe tu sabe speciaw-fwiend. Wai Donuhd nu keep speciaw-fwiend wakies wike daddeh say. Donuhd am wowstesh Fwuffy, am wostesh dummeh fukin Fwuffy, wet speciaw-fwiend gu foweba sweepies. Nu desevb famiwy, nu desevb tu be daddeh, onwy wowstesh huwties an foweba sweepies, gu tu sowwywand fow bein biggesh dummeh eb….”
“Coo.”
Donald’s tirade stopped when he felt a tiny pair of hoofs wrap around his leg, he looked down and saw Sky gripping onto him tightly, her eyes drenched in tears.
“Coo, pwease nu weave daddeh, babbeh pwomise be betta. Nu knyop wha babbeh du wong, bu pwomise neba du it gain, nu wan toysies ow sketti ow eben wub, jus wan daddeh nu gu way wike mummah.”
Part of Donald wanted to run away, to escape this reminder of his failings and wallow and self-hatred because that’s all he was good for.
But a different part of him refused to let him, instead he stayed calm, picked Sky off the ground, and held her gentle in his arms.
“Daddeh nu gu aneewhewe babbeh, daddeh pwomise.”
“Bu, huuu, bu daddeh say…”
“Daddeh hab biggesh heawt-huwties cos speciaw-fwiend am gun. Make daddeh hab biggesh sadies an angwies, make daddeh bad daddeh, nu gib babbeh da wub babbeh need cos daddeh nu wub daddeh nu mowe.”
“Daddeh nu wub babbeh?”
“Daddeh DU wub babbeh, bu nu show it cos heawt-huwties make daddeh bad Fwuffy, onwy fonk bout daddeh’s heawt-huwties, nu weawise babbeh awso hab heawt-huwties tuu. Pwomise babbeh du nuffin wong, babbeh am pehfek babbeh.”
Sky sniffed back more tears. “Babbeh nu fink undastan, bu if daddeh hab heawt-huwties, can babbeh gib huggies. Huggies make ebewyfing betta.”
Donald smiled at his daughter and nodded. “Daddeh fink dat am gud finkie-pwace pwan.”
He placed Sky against his chest and for what felt like the first time, father and daughter embraced each other. Daddy watched from the window, he had rushed over when he heard Donald’s tirade but kept out of sight to see what effect Sky would have on her father. Evidently it paid off.
The whole family had a long way to go before any of them were healed, but in that moment of feeling his daughters love against his chest, warming up his heart in ways he’d almost forgotten how to feel, Donald felt things get just a little bit brighter on that day.
