Warning: spoilers for the Intergalactic Tournament Saga.
A forest, in Russia.
In a clearing, a herd of fluffies, three dozen strong, grazes and forages, bringing whatever they don’t num now back to their nest, to num later.
They’re minded by a dozen other creatures.
Short. About three feet tall, at best. And on the skinny side.
Green-skinned. Rather grotesque faces. Pointy ears, big noses, beady yellow eyes.
And clad in garments made from rabbit skins.
They speak to each other, in a language that sounds like someone’s cracking walnuts, but they are capable of speaking the languages of humans, too.
The creatures allow the fluffies to live with them.
Not because they want or need anything from the fluffies. Fluffies have little to give, and they have nothing the creatures want.
The creatures could eat the fluffies.
But fluffies in this quadrant of the multiverse are palatable to few races.
And they aren’t palatable to the goblins, either.
Yes, goblins are among the myriad of fantastic beings that exist in this quadrant of the multiverse.
And you may be familiar with the antics of a certain goblin from another quadrant of the multiverse who finds this quadrant’s fluffies to be perfectly palatable.
The fluffy-eating goblin has not been sighted since the World Revolution.
Goblins are a rather downtrodden people. Discriminated against for centuries, treated like vermin, being unwelcome in human lands, forced to live in the worst parts of the world and eat the things nobody else will eat.
It’s understandable why goblins have a reputation for being sneaky. It’s the only option they had if they wanted to survive.
So, when fluffies came along, the goblins couldn’t help but emphasize with them.
There’s many a hidden goblin community across the globe that has taken fluffies in, and given them something of a home, and provided for them as best as they can. Protecting them with goblin magic, a different brand of magic than that used by humans, or the Fair Folk, or the Iyataggians.
Fortunately, things are getting better for both groups. In more recent times, people have started to realize that goblins are actually pretty talented. Goblins are skilled with machines, and can produce beautiful works of art. And after centuries of being treated like gutter trash, goblins appreciate it when humans treat them as equals instead.
Goblins can be nice, and goblins can be mean. It all depends on how they’re treated.
Some goblins, when the mistreatment of their kind gets to be too much, will use their talents to get some payback. Like, by stealing a crucial part from a machine. Or sabotaging it in another way, and the goblins can think of many ways.
And their nutcracker language is more complex than it seems. Goblins only have a few words for colors, but they have many words for the ways colors blend into each other. They have words for sounds and smells that humans don’t have.
Even a goblin’s name is like a work of poetry. Goblin names can be rather long, and they prefer it if people use their full names, but they begrudgingly allow those who treat goblins decently to shorten their names for convenience, or to bestow nicknames upon them.
As long as it’s not a derogatory nickname, the goblins can live with it.
But the most important word in the goblin’s language is hang.
Hang means “survive”.
Hang tight, hang in there, hang together or hang separately, but most importantly, hang on.
The goblins smile, watching their charges forage.
One of them speaks up in English. His rabbit skin garments are decorated with feathers and beads, indicating that this goblin is the leader of the clan.
“Is good food, yes?”
The smarty of this herd, a noble green stallion, nods. Like many smarties, he’s a unicorn.
“Yus. Am gud nummies. Enuff fow awwa us.”
The goblin clan and the fluffy herd live together, in an old rabbit warren.
Goblins are usually reluctant to allow outsiders into their homes. A good way to piss goblins off is to barge in uninvited.
But the goblins have seen just how bad water and darkness can be for fluffies. Goblins can see in the dark, but with their magic, conjuring some light for the fluffies is a simple matter.
While goblins have a preference for rabbit, they’ve learned from one of their few human friends that it’s best to get some greens in their diet, too.
A diet of only rabbit can actually be fatal. It’s called rabbit starvation. Look it up.
And there’s plenty of edible vegetation around here. Not a whole lot that humans would eat, but goblins aren’t picky eaters, and neither are feral fluffies.
They both take it as a given that they can’t afford to be picky.
While the fluffies forage, the goblins dig up any roots and tubers they sniff out.
Those big noses aren’t just for show.
And, back at the warren, the goblin clan has taken its first steps into the wonderful world of agriculture, as a few more are tending a small field of potatoes.
All the female goblins are inside the warren, tending to their young, and helping the dams tend to their young.
That friend mentioned earlier helped them get started with growing those potatoes.
And who is this friend, you ask?
Well, he’s approaching the clearing as we speak, and he’s got company.
“Rebonjour, mes amis verts.”
Deston Faucheuse enters the clearing, Calvin Korkea following him with a grin on his face.
“What up, my gobbies? Got another ton of greens for my green pals right here!”
Calvin is carrying a rather large basket, full of fruits and vegetables, and he’s lifting it like it’s filled with marshmallows.
He is, after all, the world’s strongest man.
The head goblin speaks up, in his native tongue, and Deston replies in the same language. Deston is something of an omniglot. Of all the members of the ChaotiX, only Victor and Reiner know more languages than him.
Calvin doesn’t speak the goblin language. He has a Ring of Allspeak, and a universal translator, but is not currently wearing either of them.
He decides to chat with the smarty. While Deston gets the goblins’ recap of current events, Calvin will get the fluffies’ recap instead.
It’s always possible that the fluffies spotted something important that the goblins missed.
Calvin puts the basket down, and kneels.
“Sup, Bereza. How are things going?”
Bereza, the smarty, smiles.
“Fings am guin gud, da poh-tay-tohs am gwo-in nicewy.”
“That’s good to hear.”
One of the other goblins walks over.
“Miss-ter Kor-key-yah, we look forward to many ways of cooking potato. The one called frenched fry sounds tasty.”
Goblins are much more eloquent in their native tongue.
“Dew, trust me, you guys have been missing out.”
Dew is short for Sunlight Shining Through The Morning Dew.
It was said that goblin names can be rather long.
Dew grins at Calvin.
“I have been wonder something, Miss-ter Kor-key-yah.”
“Fire away.”
“You have team of people, who fight to protect world. Who fight for just ice. You have dwarf, troll, angel, many strange creature.”
“Don’t forget fluffies, they’re kinda strange too.”
“Hey! …Nu, wait, Beweza see mistah Caw point.”
Dew continues.
“So what I wonder is… is there room for goblin in team?”
“Hold on. You want to join the ChaotiX?”
Dew nods.
“Could be useful. Have goblin magic, good with machines. I hear you have group for make machines. Perhaps there room for me there?”
“What does your leader think about this?”
The human, goblin and smarty turn to the head goblin, still conversing with Deston in Goblinish.
“He no mind. Have talked with him about this. He say, it okay if I want leave.”
“You wouldn’t have to leave this place for good. You guys can teleport, right?”
Dew nods again.
“But not to Ah-meh-ree-kah. Too far away.”
“We could hook you up with a blipper. It’s very easy to use, you can go anywhere on Earth with one of those.”
“I like idea of that. So, miss-ter Kor-key-yah will have me?”
“I can’t really say no. We try to be inclusive. Fuck it, why not. We’ll get you set up as soon as we can. If you want a battle suit, say the word. Hell, we could probably set your clan up with some new clothes, too, if you want.”
“These clothes comfy, miss-ter Kor-key-yah.”
“Alright, then just a patch. So people know you’re with us, you can just slap it on when you’re on the job, it’s removable. I’ll be looking forward to working with you, Dew.”
“You very good human. Together, we hang.”
Calvin knows what hang means, and nods too.
“Damn right. We must survive. And together, we will.”
“If onwy aww hoomins wuz as nice as yu, mistah Caw.”
Calvin, standing up straight, smiles warmly.
“Hey, we all call this world home, don’t we? Now…”
At a wave of Calvin’s hand, the basket floats up into the air.
“…where do you guys want this?”
A short distance away, Marley helps a foal who wandered away from the herd and got lost get back to the herd.
With his newly acquired ability to sense the life force of living beings, finding the foal was a snap.
The foal is riding on Marley’s back, as he waddles back to the clearing.
He could get back faster, in one of multiple different ways, but Marley doesn’t want to startle the foal.
“chirp W-wan mummah…”
Marley speaks up, in a soothing tone.
“Nu woh-wee, babbeh. Mawwey gun git yu back tu yu mummah in nu time.”
Behind them, a goblin sneaks up on the two fluffies, hidden in the brush.
“Dinerrr…”
It shouldn’t have to be pointed out that it isn’t one of this world’s goblins.
“Howd awn, babbeh.”
Marley uses his telekinesis to gently put the foal down on the soft forest floor.
“Wait hewe wun moh-ment, otay?”
“Otay. chirp”
Marley waddles a foot or two away, closes his eyes, and concentrates.
Then he points a hoof in a seemingly random direction.
VA-VOOM
And fires an energy blast out of it.
BOOM
“Aurgh! Dinerrr fight back! No fair!”
“Mawwey daddeh towd yu tu git wost!”
The fluffy-eating goblin gives up, returning to its home world.
Hopefully, it’ll stay there this time. The ChaotiX doesn’t care about what the fluffy-eating goblin does in its world of origin. As long as it stays out of this world.
Then Marley waddles back over to the foal, levitating him onto his back.
“Sowwy abowt dat, babbeh.”
The foal coos, snuggling into Marley’s soft green fluff.
Despite the fact that Marley is rather muscular for a fluffy these days, his fluff is as soft as ever.
Of course, Flufftopia’s Bestest Bath fluffy shampoo and conditioner has helped with that.
Yes, there’s conditioner too. Even a 2-in-1 bottle.
“Mawwey am nice fwuffy.”
Marley moves on, a warm fuzzy feeling in his heart.
“Mebbeh Mawwey shud awsk daddeh if Mawwey an Caiwum can haf babbehs again. Mawwey haf mist dis.”