Holy Shit They're REAL! Ch.9 (Readisketti)

Authors note:
Really having fun after learning how to use BBCode

Your name is Danny, and you find yourself sitting in your kitchen staring at a small red present box. You stare at it intensely while wrapping your fingers on the granite top island, your nostrils flaring as you have a silent little panic attack.

You don’t even know why you brought it inside, and thought you should have smashed it when you saw it on the floor of your door. You had shut and opened your front door several times hoping the thing would disappear, but there it remained.

“…So what now…You want me to open it?..” You ask out to your empty house.

There was of course no one here besides yourself and the Fluffy you left upstairs in your room.

“Fuck it! Let’s just fuckin’ get this over with!” You shout out again at no one at all.

You slam your hand on the box and slide it over to you, and with a kitchen knife you cut the white ribbon securing the present lid. Discarding the fabric over your shoulder you lift the lid off the box, wiggling it pretty roughly as you have no patience for the tightly fitting cover.

You fling the clover across the kitchen like a frisbee and turn back to see what was inside.


Another one!

Another one of those horrid creatures lies before you in the box!

Honestly what else could it have been? You fucking chump.

Your hands grasp the box on each side as you shove your face over the top of it, and inside you see it. A mockery of nature and monstrosity that should damn all of humanity for existing in any sense.

A fat little potato-like fake horse thing!


It lies there in the box, resting in the center of a small pillow planted inside the present. This one is an eggshell white, and you notice that it is not a newborn like the first one, but around the size of a baseball. Around a month going by your experience.

WOW! how COOL!

Maybe! You can get the whole RAINBOW tomorrow!

Your breathing is heavy as you huff hot air through your teeth. The things eyes are closed shut and somehow still asleep, peacefully resting in stark contrast to your bedraggled expression and recent shouts.

Your breath tussles its short hairs a bit and it stirs ever so slightly, and soon after its eyelids twitter a bit before slowly opening.

*Yawn- *

It yawns, rising its front hooves in the air to stretch out its Fluffy body before putting them down. It focuses on you, being the first thing it sees. Sitting on its rump in the small red box, it looks at you with a smile and speaks.

*Hewwo…Am nyu Daddeh? *

A second of silence.


The white Fluffy shuts its eyes and turns back away slightly as your giant voice and furious spittle lash against its body. You scream out not in fear or surprise, but one of confusion and rage at this unbelievable situation.

You run out of breath and stop your bellowing, you pant hard and drool a bit.

The white Fluffy opens one eye a fraction and peeks at you, before opening them both to smile up cheerfully despite your reaction to it.

*Woaw… Yuu am hab guud singie voicie! *

It raises its front hooves and begins beating them together rhythmically.

It’s…Clapping?..Clapping for…You?..


The white Fluffy stops clapping and begins looking around itself at the kitchen.

*Woaaaaaw- Suuu pwetty big housie! Yuu wib hewe in pwetty bigg housie? Yuu mus be bewwy happie, hab su pwetty an wawmsie housie fo nestie and pway! *

You can feel your mind slowly chipping at its words.

*Fwuffy nu hab housie…bu fink, dat if eba hab wun, wan be juuuus wike dis wun! *


*Yus! Fwuffy fink dis am beeeewy nicie housie! Yuu am mus hab suuu many fwens an big famwiy! An pway awww da tyme wit dem and mus be su happie! *

The white Fluffy looks down and slumps as if in thought.

*Fwuffy…nu kno ib hab housie ow nestie… Fwuffy nu kno whew famwiy am…ow ib eben hab famwiy… Fwuffy nu can…wemembah… *

The white Fluffy looks to be upset for a short second, before remembering you there and looking up towards your face and smiling.

*Maybee, nic Mistah, can hewp Fwuffy fin famwiy! Fwuffy am hab suuuu many heawt happies! *

You pull open a kitchen drawer and drop the white Fluffy in it, you shut the drawer and with a peep the Fluffy is enveloped in darkness.

*Hewwow…? Hewwooooow?.. Nu wike dawkie pwace bewy much……… Huuuu… *

You slowly walk backwards away from the muffled voice of the Fluffy before turning and sprinting up the stairs. As the safest place known to you your whole life, you instinctively run to your room to go jump in your bed.

You throw open your door and jump into bed but before you have gone more than two steps inside your foot is snagged on something. You begin falling forward and throw your hands up to save your face. With a thud you land on the floor.


Looking at your feet you see one had been caught up by your old laptop charger cable. You thought you remembered sliding it under your desk after cleaning up all the shit from yesterday.

*GAAAAAASP!! *Mummah-Daddeh! Am yuu ok! Nee huggies fo owies!?! Buuuu-huuuu… Mummah-Daddeh downsies on facie! BUUUUUUUUUUU-HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!.. *

The blue Fluffy calls out to you in distress over your fall, it hangs over the edge of the chair you left him in reaching its stubby hooves out in an attempt to hug you.

You get up off the floor and untangle yourself from the thick black wire.

“Fuck-…Yeah bud, I’m alright… Hey, how did these wires get here? They were under the desk before I went downstairs…”

The Fluffy points over to the wall by the closet.

*THEWE! Meanie woud noisie munstah! Gu awoun sayf woom an twy nummie bwack nu-skettis! Meanie munstah mobe nu-skettis and maek Mummah-Daddeh gu downsies! MEANIE NOISIE MUNSTAH!!! PBBBBTTTTT!!~… *

You look over to see the Roomba you keep in your room since you used to be too busy playing games to use the vacuum.

“Huh…I thought I heard it clean already this morning-”

*W-Wha! Wha was…Bing-bing noisie?..Mummah-Daddeh…? *

“What? Oh yeah- uh…It was the doorbell…”

*Doowsie beww? Mowe boxie fwum nic mistah Ammeh-Zawn? *

“N-no it wa-”

The blue Fluffy cuts you off mid reply.

* SUUUUUUUU nicie dat MUMMAH-DADDEH get tu hab FWENS dat gib Mummah-Daddeh TOYSIES an BUWGEW NUMMIES AWWWWW DA TYME! Mummah-Daddeh am mus be SUUUUUUUUUUUUUU happies!!! *

Your head is starting to hurt a bit from the fall.

*Fwuffy wishies am be JUUUUS wike Mummah-Daddeh an hab jus WUN FWEN! Buuuu-Huuuuuu! Bu Fwuffy am BAD SMEWWY POOPIE MEANIE UGWY dat nu DESEWBE ANY FWEN an onwy get BAD UPPSIES an WAWAS an HUWTIES ONWY fwum BESTEST Mummah-Daddeh……Buuu…Huuu… *

The headache kinda made you tune out most of it, but you were sure it was crying about not having friends or something. Thinking about that now makes you kinda sad for it, thinking about how small and stuffy your rooms must get. That’s probably what made it want to get out so bad.

Maybe if he got out once in a while…No, it’s not safe for something like him, not in public where he could get discovered. It’s a terrible thing, you finally confess to yourself, for him to be locked up here with just you and no one else to accompany him.

It must be hard to not even know you’re the only one of your ki-

A lightbulb shines above your head.

“Hey buddy! I think I got a present you’re really gonna like!”

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Somehow I get the feeling that introducing the two fluffies won’t bode well for Danny’s mental health. :thinking:


Nope especially ehen one is much older, seens to have a sarcastic smarty attitude and has no experience being social… so he might bully the foal or the foal will feed his ego like going “Oh wow you’re so big and cool!”

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Oh yeah, 'Ol Blue already flipped his smarty switch at the end of the shower incident. It’s all downhell from there. Danny will either end up in a mental asylum or will become the greatest fluffy abuser the world has ever known.


Danny is going to kill one of these shitrats at some point. Hope it’s the smarty bitch first.

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Who tf keeps giving away fluffies? Is that a scheme to make a fluffy outbreak or something?

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I expected our guy to be fed up at this point but i really enjoy how abrupt and immediate yeeting this little dude into a drawer was