Jelly was woken suddenly by the sounds of scores of fluffies yelling, and saw that the lights had been switched back on.
“Bwight-tiem!”
“Mawgawet!”
“Nummies! Nummies!”
“Wuv Mawgawet!”
Jelly realised that most of the fluffies had run to the front of the pen, and could see a hoomin with a long brown mane in the distance, pouring something into another fluffy pen, to a reaction of excited cries.
“Nummy-tiem! It am nummy-tiem!” A young filly cried, running past Jelly, Lou-Lou, Pinky and their babies.
Jelly jumped to her feet, picked up Red Conan by the scruff of his neck and threw him on her back.
“It am nummie-tiem yu stoopid-mawes!” she yelled at Pinky and Lou-Lou, before running to the front of the pen.
Jelly saw that the pen was split into three main herds, of about 20 or so fluffies each, not that she could count that high. Lots of the biggest mares had banded together, and when the hoomin started pouring a sack of whatever their breakfast nummies were into a big trough, Jelly could see why. There was no room for her to go and eat! Hew tummeh-owwies were so bad now, as she had not eaten since the previous morning, back at mummah-Claire’s, which seemed a lifetime ago. Now these dummeh-mares were going to eat all her nummies.
“Moob out da way dummehs! Dis am Smarteh-nummies! Yu best moob or get wowstest owwies! OOOOFFF!” Jelly was cut off towards the end of her rant by a strong back hoof to the nose. She screamed with pain as her nose started leaking boo-boo juice everywhere. The fat purple mare in front of her turned, chewing a mouth of nummies, and blew a raspberry at her.
“DATS IT!” Yelled Jelly, and ran up behind the purple mare, trying to bite her milk-places. The mare simply reacted by spraying a tsunami of poop all over Jelly and Red Conan.
“Haha!” said another mare, “Wed fwuffies am poopie-fwuffies naow!”
“OH no!” said a hoomin voice, “you bad fluffies! You KNOW what happens to fluffies that make bad poopies!”
Jelly blinked and shook herself, trying to shake the poop off of her face and fluff, and nearly forgot that Red Conan was riding on her back. He clang on and yelled “mummah!” so she stopped.
The brown maned Hoomin was reaching down into the pen, and grabbed the purple mare by her mane, before reaching below her belly and scooping her up into the air.
“What happens to bad-poopie fluffies?” the hoomin asked.
“Poopy-pen!” yelled several fluffies.
“NNNuuuuuu!” cried the fat purple mare, “Nu send bwackcuwwant to poopy-pen! Nu mean make bad poopies! Pwease!”
“Sorry Blackcurrant, but you know the rules. You pooped all over that new red fluffy. Bad poopy-fluffies go in the poopie pen.”
“NUUUUUUU!” the fluffy screamed. “Pwease mummah-Mawgawet! PWEEEEASE!”
The Mawgawet hoomin didn’t listen to her, and dropped her down in another pen, outside of Jelly’s view.
“Nuuuu! Nu smeww gud!” Jelly heard the fluffy yelling in the distance, “Aww da fwuffies hewe dewped and smeww of poopies!”
Jelly grinned in satisfaction. She realised that if she acted like a Smarty here, she would get in trouble, either with the other fluffies, or with the hoomin mummahs and daddahs. But if she acted like a SECRET SMARTY, she could get other fluffies in trouble. Maybe she could give them IDEAS, like Snowflake used to do with her. Just thinking about Snowflake made Jelly feel half angry and half sad. A rumble in Jelly’s tummy quickly chased those feels away though, and she ran up to the space vacated by the fat purple fluffy, to see what the nummies were.
“Wat is dis?” Jelly asked herself, looking at the dry mixed nasty nummies.
“Its oatmeal and guineapig food,” said the Mawgawet hoomin. “Its perfectly healthy food for fluffies.”
Jelly felt red hot anger. She breathed in and puffed up her cheeks, and nearly started yelling at the dummah-mummah, but was distracted by Red Conan yanking on her fluff. Jelly realised she had to be a secret smarty, and reluctantly started eating the yucky old dry oaty nummies.
“Wed fwuffy in twubbew naow” Said a large cream coloured mare standing next to Jelly, in a hushed tone of voice, “Jus yu wait. Bwackbewwy in da poopy-pen cos of fwuffy. Come dawk tiem, fwuffy get wowstest sowwy hoofies. An nu teww mummah margawet, ow red fwuffy babbeh get wowstest sowwy hoofies too. Wowstest, and FOWEVEW SWEEPIES.”
Jelly nearly choked on her oats. The big mare fluffy herd was going to kill her! Jelly did start to choke, and quickly ran away to a nearby water bottle, to help wash down the dry oats and guinea pig food. She knew she had to escape this pen, and escape soon.
Jelly was becoming more and more afraid. First, during the dawk tiem the Snake-Daddy had made all the fluffies watch a snake monster eat a baby fluffy on a giant TV screen. Then he’d grabbed on of the fluffies that was hiding, and said it was going to be snake-nummies! Then he’d made all the other fluffies promise not to tell any other hoomins, or he would make them and their babies Snake-nummies too. Finally, he had opened a can of cold alphabet sketties, with a thin tomato sauce and no meatballs, and thrown it into the pen. Several fluffies had cut their noses on the sharp metal rim of the can, trying to get the nummies, and a baby had been hurt in the stampede. Jelly had only managed to get about one lick of the cold nasty sketties, before she got knocked to the ground, and gave up trying.
Secondly, when the real bright tiem came around, Jelly had found out there was no nummies apart from old dry oats, mixed with something called guinea-pig food. Mummah-Mawgawet seemed nice, but even when Jelly had begged her for M&Ms, and danced like a dancie baby, Mawgawet had just laughed and moved on to feeding other fluffies. Worse still, the other mares now wanted to hurt Jelly with sorry hoofies, and threatened to kill her baby if she told Mawgawet.
Jelly knew she would die if she stayed in this pen. Either from the Snake-Daddy, or the Mare-gang, or from old dry oaties.
She had to Wun Away.
Just then, Jelly heard a sound from the pen below. It was the nu-weggy fluffy pen, and there was some kind of fight going on.
“Nuu! Stawp! Hewp!” A fluffy was saying. Jelly stood up on her back legs for a closer look.
Down below, in the no leggies pen, a nearly bald, one eyed fluffy with no legs and horrid horrid owwies all over it, was being bullied by a group of baby fluffies, no bigger than Red Conan.
“Nu wike scawey munstah fwuffy!” an Orange foal was saying angrily, “Nu wan, hatchu!” it continued, hitting her special place with its front hoofies.
“Ugwee Ugwee UGWEE!” a Yellow foal was yelling, as it turned and pooped all over the bald fluffy’s cracked flakey skin and owwies.
Far from stopping the babies, the mummahs, sat on their nearby pillow nesties were shouting insults too.
“Dat wite babbehs! Giv munstah sowwy poopies an hoofies fow Mummeh!” A Yellow fluffy with a bright red mane and tail was saying, “Make ugwee munstah fwuffy gu 'way!”
“Nu wike munstah fwuffy” A pink mare added, from her pillow nesty. “Make Waspbewwy feew saddies? Nu. Git owt of nu-weggies bawks!”
Jelly looked on as several other babies ran up to the bald, one eyed cripple of a fluffy, and pooped all over her. The fluffy started to cry, and eventually Mummah-Mawgawet heard her and came over.
“Oh no!” She said, sounding very disappointed. “Who has pooped all over this poor little fluffy?” Several babies had ran away, and were now hiding behind their mothers, who were remaining silent.
“I’m sorry Marble, these fluffies don’t know how to react to a different fluffy. You’ll get your own nice cage from now on, and these fluffies will all get a sorry sticking.”
“Nuuu!” the other fluffies cried.
“Huu huu, nebba hav fwuffy fwends again” said the horrid looking fluffy, as Mawgawet led her away, promising her a bath.
Jelly knew that she had to get into their pen.
During the day, lots of different hoomins came to see the fluffies. Some were what Jelly knew to be “Wittew Giwws” small hoomins with long manes, who could get anything they wanted by asking their hoomin-daddahs nicely. As the wittew giwws looked at the fluffies, lots of them ran up to the front of the pen, and stood on their back legs, begging for upsies and huggies. Some even danced.
“Nyu mummah? Yu am nyu mummah?” some begged.
“Giv fwuffy nyu hoem? Giv fwuffy huggies and wuv?”
Occasionally, one was picked up, and taken away from the horrid horrid pen forever.
“Weawy? Fwuffy hav nyu mummah! Fwuffy so happy!” the fluffies would exclaim, crying with joy at their rescue.
“Pwease! Taek fwuffy tooo!” others would cry, “Nu weave fwuffy hewe!”
Other fluffies were concerned about their babies.
“Nuuu! Nu take babbehs! Dey onwy wittew babbehs! Need mummah an miwkies and wub! Nuuuuu! Huuuu huuu huuuu… Nebah see babbehs eva again… huuuu huuu huuuuu…”
“Babbehs! Babbehs!”
“Pwease nu take wastest babbeh! Pwease wet fwuffy keep wun babbeh!”
In contrast, some mothers cried when their babies were taken away from them, but the older and more desperate ones begged for their babies to BE taken away.
“Pwease, nice mummah, fwuffy know am ugwee fwuffy, but pwease take babbehs, dey am gud pwetty babbehs an wiw give nyu mummah huggies and wuv.”
Jelly was disgusted at how pathetic they all were. Still, she made Red Conan hide in her fluff, and didn’t attract any attention to herself. She knew that little girls would be nice at first, but they all thought they were smarties, and their daddahs were really mean. Jelly decided that if she did get a nyu mummah, it would have to be a mummah with no other hoomins at home, so it would give Jelly all of its love. That way, she would always be the bestest.
Sadly, no such hoomin arrived.
One strange looking hoomin man did take several pillowfluffs and some of the derped and poopy fluffys. He said something to the hoomin that was helping Mawgawet, and some of the fluffies started screaming:
“NU! Nu wan be Wizawd Foood! Fwuffy nu am nummies!”
After the hoomins had all gone away, Jelly thought over her plan, one more time. She knew she could just about climb over the edge of the pen, if Lou-Lou and Pinky helped her by standing where she told them to. The problem was falling into the other pen without hurting herself, but Jelly had an idea for that.
“Okay, Wed Conan, am yu weddy?”
“Yes mummah,” said Red Conan, clinging onto the last tufts of her mostly torn out mane.
“Dummah-mawes, am YU weddy?”
“Yes Jewwy,” said Lou-Lou
“Nu huwties!” said Pinky.
Carefully, Jelly climbed up onto the other Mare’s backs. From there, not only could she see into the pillowfluff pen below, but she could easily climb over the edge. Jelly looked down, and saw that the fat, soon-mummah pillowfluff was directly beneath her, just as she had planned.
“Otay Wed Conan, dis am it,” she said, before jumping over the edge.
SPLAT!
Jelly landed directly on top of the fat soon-mummah fluffy. The fluffy screamed, and Jelly felt bones break, and squishy things being crushed inside her.
“AAAAAAAAEEEIEEIIIEE!” the fluffy screamed, even louder this time. Jelly saw that buckets of boo-boo juice, nasty not-sketties, and wriggling too small bald fluffy-babbehs had exploded out of the fluffies special place.
“NUUU! NUUU! BABBEHS! BABBEHS!” the Pillowfluff was screaming, realising that her brood had been horrifically aborted, and that she was a soon-mummah no more. Jelly had guessed this might happen, and knew what she had to do. Rising up on her back legs, she brought both her front hooves down onto the helpless and screaming pillowfluff’s head. Once, twice, three times, then again and again, and again, until it finally stopped moving. Jelly had crushed its head like an egg, and gooey grey stuff and boo-boo juice was all over her hooves. Jelly walked over to the fluffies nummy bowl and started eating.
“Nu! Munstah fwuffy!” Another pillow fluff cried, looking straight at Jelly.
“Waaat?” Jelly said, looking up from her delicious bowl of kibble.
“Munstah wed fluffy am giv fowevew sweepies to Mawzipan! Munstah! Munstah!” it kept yelling.
Jelly slowly walked over to the second pillowfluff. Bringing her nose right up to the quivering mare’s face, she stared into her eyes.
“Wat am fwuffy name?” Jelly asked
“Am-am Sawah,” it said, shaking and terrified.
“Am dose da Sawah babbehs?” Jelly asked, looking over at some scared looking foals, that had stopped playing with their blockies when Jelly walked over.
“Yes,” Sawah admitted.
“Weww Sawah, it am wike dis. Jewwy am da Smarteh in dis pen naow. An Sawah got to keep stoopid-dummeh-poopie nu-weggy mouf SHUT. If keep cwying about munstah, ow teww mummah-mawgawet, den Sawah know wat happen…” Jelly said, coldly.
“Wat happen?” the dumb as a brick fluffy asked.
“Sawah get fowevew sweepies,” Jelly said, in a calm, almost kindly voice, “But fiwst, AWW Sawah babbehs get weggies stomped, den fowevew sweepies, an Sawah gots to watch. It happen at dawk tiem. If you nu shut up.”
“Nuuu!” Sawah begged, “Pwease nu huwt babbehs! Sawah keep moufie shut! Nu teww nu-fwuffy ow nu-hoomin!”
Jelly went a little bit crazy. At first, she walked around the pen, introducing herself to all the pillowfluffies, making sure they knew she was the Smarteh-mummah of the pen, and making sure they realised what would happen if they told on her. Just to make her point, she ate as much of their kibble as she possibly could, eating until her tummeh felt like it would burst. When she could eat no more, she started to pee on the rest of their kibble, so they would have to eat her pee-pee. It was hilarious! Jelly was the smarteh, and there was nothing they could do about it. They were all scared of her, and she could do anything she liked!
Jelly started pooping in the kibble bowls. Just a little at first, to make sure she had enough to poop in every bowl (apart from hers). Then she started to poop a lot. Big, steaming turds in every bowl. Then she started to poop on their faces, and on their babies. On ALL OF THEM. The fluffies begged her to stop, but shut up when she reared up on her back legs and threatened them with a forever sleepies sorry hoofing. From that point on, the fluffies just sat there and cried while Jelly shat all over their faces.
If only that dummah-Snowflake could see her now! The bestest fluffy in the pen! No, the bestest fluffy in the WOWWD. Everyone should have to bring her presents! Or get sorry poopie, everyone should have to bring her…
“HELLO FLUFFARINOS!” a familar voice cried.
It was the Snake Daddeh! He was back, which meant it was nearly dawk tiem again, and Mawgawet would go home. Jelly panicked for a moment, but then remembered her plan. Running over to the exploded dead corpse of Marzipan, Jelly grabbed her pillow nesty with her teeth and heaved. But Marzipan was too heavy. Even with her nasty bald pink foals, boo-boo juice and insidey-sketties all 'sploded out of her special place, the fluffy’s corpse was bigger and fatter than Jelly, and the pillow nesty was heavy too.
“Qwik! Conan, hewp mummah!” Jelly cried, and Red Conan jumped down from her back, to add his growing strength to her efforts. Although he was a baby, he was growing bigger, and the reduced weight on her back allowed her to pull harder. Jelly finally managed to heave the pillow-nesty out from under Marzipan’s corpse, dragged it over to a nice spot out of site of hoomins, flipped it upside down to hide Marzipan’s boo-boo juice, grabbed her half eaten bowl of kibble and sat on top of the pillow-nesty. Tucking her legs underneath herself, she sat very still, and pretended to be a pillow fluffy. Jelly knew she was the smartest fluffy in the world!
“Oh fuck,” said Frank, when he saw the devastation in the pillowfluff pen, “oh FUCK!” he added, when he saw the corpses of Marzipan and her unborn foals. “What the actual fuck happened here? Phil, come and help me sort out this shit…”
