"Lavender: A Lot To Think About" by NobodyAtAll

It’s been a while since you taught your babbehs all about the big white not-fluffies.

Long enough, that they all stopped drinking milkies.

And you and Oak knew what that meant.

Fortunately, you were ready. You and Oak had talked about the matter already, you two had reached a decision, and you had told your daddeh and mummah.

You chose your hornie wingie babbeh. The purple and green filly.

It was a tough call.

You both had to admit that the one that looks like you is the bestest babbeh. You told daddeh this, too.

But you love them all the same! You insisted on that to daddeh! You gave them all lots of miwkies and wub! As much as you could give! You didn’t spoil your bestest babbeh!

And being the bestest babbeh is exactly why you didn’t choose her. You explained your logic to daddeh when he asked.

Unlike when you ask hoomins questions, when a hoomin asks you a question, you’re all too happy to explain, because you know how it feels when nobody will answer your questions.

Hoomins.

You like miss Reilly and mistah Cal, because they explain things to you. Mistah Cal told you all about muh-nees.

He gets it too!


Apparently, hoomins aren’t allowed to just make muh-nees whenever they need some, which is why hoomins need to go to their jawbs. Which, mistah Cal also explained, means that they do things for other hoomins, who give them muh-nees for it.

You don’t get that. If hoomins need muh-nees so much, why don’t they just give everyone a big pile of muh-nees? You asked, and mistah Cal said it was because of something called “in-flay-shun”. You didn’t really understand what that is, but apparently it’s bad if there are too many muh-nees.

You don’t get that, either. Some hoomins have lots of muh-nees, and they seem to be doing alright. Why don’t they just give their muh-nees to other hoomins who need it? Does one hoomin really need that many muh-nees?

Hoomins.


But, getting back on topic, you explained to your daddeh that, if the babbeh that looks like you is the bestest babbeh, then it means that her new hoomin will be the happiest hoomin.

And you like making hoomins happy.

Plus, you know that a lot of fluffies still don’t like hornie-wingie fluffies.

But all the fluffies on the fawm like your hornie-wingie babbeh, so you know she’ll be safest if she’s here.

Your daddeh said that he was proud of you for thinking about all of this.


This week, the new hoomin daddehs and mummahs are coming to take the other babbehs away.

One of them has already come for the first babbeh, who was actually your first babbeh: the red and purple hornie babbeh.

And it was a hoomin you already know taking him home, so you know you’ll see that babbeh again.

“My, I think little Ridcully here will fit in just fine at the Sanctum. What do you two think?”

“He’s so cute, Grandpa!”

“If Mewwin had handsies, Mewwin wud be gibin Widcuwwy too fumbs upsie!”

Merlin is really pretty. Hoo boy, if you weren’t already happily special friends with Oak…


So there’s two more new hoomins coming to take your other two babbehs home.

Then, your hornie wingie babbeh will be getting a namesie from your daddeh and mummah, and she’ll be living with you.

And then, it’ll be Daisy and Elm’s turn to have babbehs.

So, there’ll be more babbehs coming. And after that, it’s Rose and Rowan’s turn.

So, in the end, there will be three new babbehs living on the farm.

But that’s not all that’s going on.

Last week, mistah Cal came to the fawm, asking to talk to you, your mummah and daddeh.

He said it was important.


So the three of you sat down with mistah Cal.

Your fluffy friends and your uncle Jim helped Oak keep an eye on your babbehs and Keith while you were talking to mistah Cal.

“So, what’s this about, Cal?”

Mistah Cal looked at your daddeh.

“I’m not gonna beat around the bush. This is about Lavender, and her powers. Specifically, what Lavender could do with her powers. I’ve been talking to Des, he’s been keeping me in the loop regarding Lav’s training…”

Then mistah Cal looked at you, and smiled.

“…and Des says that it’s time for that dampener to come off full-time. He says that you can be trusted to not go poking around in people’s heads without permission.”

You nodded at mistah Cal.

“Yus, mistah Caw. Ev-wee-wun hab gut a wite tu… um… men-taw pwai-va-see, an Wavendew am twyin tu wee-spek dat. Nu usin powahs unwess Wavendew gutta. Fine-in owt wut a hookie am, am nu gud enuff wee-sun.”

He nodded back, smiling.

“Excellent, Lav. I can tell that you mean it. And of course, Lav, the question is… now that you’re free to use your powers… what are you going to do with them? That’s why I’m here. I have an offer to make you, Lav.”

“Wut off-uh?”

He paused for a moment.

“I’m here to invite you into the ChaotiX. You know what that is, right?”

“Yus, mistah Caw. Dok-tow ess-pwain. Am a teem of hoomins an fwuffies wif powahs. But… but mistah Caw wan Wavendew in teem? Wai?”

He smiled wider.

“Because I see potential in you, Lav, and I never turn someone with potential away. But this is an offer, not a draft. That means I won’t force you to join. The choice is entirely up to you.

“Wavendew am gunna nee tu fink abowt dis, mistah Caw.”

He shrugged.

“Take your time! No rush, Lav. I think, if you do join, you’ll be partnered with Famke, and Chakra, her fluffy. They’re psychic too. They usually stick to telekinesis, that means moving stuff with their minds, but they can do telepathy as well, like you can. Reading minds and whatnot.”

He rubbed his chin in thought.

“Plus… and this is just a theory… I think you being telekinetic as well is a possibility. I could be wrong! But if you do join, we’ll find out. It’s possible for X-Positives to develop new powers later, though there’s usually a pattern. A theme, if you will.”

Your mummah spoke up next.

“What do you mean, Cal?”

Mistah Cal looked at your mummah’s see-places.

You’ve noticed that a lot of hoomin mistahs tend to look at your mummah’s milkie places instead, but you’ve never seen mistah Cal do that.

You don’t know why all those hoomin mistahs do it. You do it too, but in your case, it’s because you can’t believe that hoomin milkie places can be that big, and you have no idea why your mummah’s are that big.

Is that why those hoomin mistahs do it? Are they just as confused as you?

“Well, Helen, take Artie and Splash for example. They both started with just waterbreathing, but as they began diving deeper and deeper, they developed enhanced strength and durability to withstand the pressure. And then, once they dived down to the darkest depths of the ocean, they developed darkvision as well. And they’ve got hydrokinesis, too. That means they can control water, Lav. So can I. I can copy pretty much any X-Positives’ powers, except Victor’s immortality, Pierre and Valerie’s superintelligence, and Susan’s lie detecting. As useful as that last one could have been, wearing a dampener every time I watch a movie ain’t worth it. I’m giving up a lot more than you or Suzy do when I wear one.”

Your daddeh looked puzzled.

“But isn’t that how Miles’ powers work? He develops new powers when he needs them?”

Then mistah Cal turned to your daddeh.

“The difference is that Miles can, in theory, develop any power. Like I said, with most X-Positives, there’s a, well, a theme. So Artie and Splash probably won’t develop, say, pyrokinesis, because there’s no real link to their preexisting power set. Plus it’d be bloody useless underwater.”

“I get it, Cal.”

“Yup. Makes sense to me, Les.”

Mistah Cal turned to you.

“So, did you get everything, Lav?”

You confirmed that you understood the part about him wanting you to join the Kay-oh-tiks, but were also embarrassed to admit that you didn’t entirely understand the rest.

“That’s fine, Lav. I’ll explain it again some other time. I’ve got to go now, I’ve got other things to do, but I’ll be seeing you again. When you’ve made your choice, tell your daddeh, and he’ll tell me. But, again, take your time. Don’t feel like you have to make the choice now. There’s no pressure.”

You nodded again.

“Yus, mistah Caw. Wavendew knu dat Wavendew nu am da smawtest fwuffy, but Wavendew am twyin.

“Trying counts for a lot, Lav. It doesn’t matter how smart you are if you don’t use it. Pretty much all of my enemies were smarter than me, but they were all also completely lacking in common sense, and that’s why I’m here, and they’re not.

He got up and took out his blooper.

“Now, I need to go to Nevada, because there’s a fluffy there with the power of fertile feet. Er, hooves. Everywhere she walks, she leaves a trail of grass and flowers behind her. We can probably use that. She might be able to control plant life. Maybe she could make crops grow faster in third world countries.”

Your daddeh looked puzzled again.

“Do you have someone like that on the team?”

Mistah Cal shook his head.

“No, but Des knows a druid who owes him big time. Druids have powers like that too. They can actually communicate with plant life.”

“Like Demeter?”

Mistah Cal shook his head a second time.

“She was a witch, Les, not a druid. She could communicate with Floris because they shared a telepathic link. And she could only do that with the power she stole by binding her soul to Arborea. Annette finally told me what price Demeter had to pay for doing that, and I’m not telling you guys, because it’s not nice.”

“Wavendew nu nee tu knu ev-wee-fing, mistah Caw.”

“And you wouldn’t believe how long it took Pierre to learn that lesson, Lav. He’ll be proud of you for learning it so quickly. It’s been fun, Lav, Mr. and Mrs. Oldman, but I really must be going now. Say hi to everyone else for me. See you all later!”

“Bye, Cal!”

“It’s always so nice to have you around.”

“See yu suun, mistah Caw!”

blip


So yeah. You’ve got that to think about too.

But, if you can be absolutely honest with yourself?

You’ve already made your decision.

After all, you like making hoomins happy. You like making other fluffies happy, too.

And you think, by joining the Kay-oh-tiks, you’ll be able to make lots of hoomins and fluffies happy.

But, you aren’t telling daddeh that you’ve made your decision yet. You aren’t telling anyone yet.

Because right now, you’ve got something else to focus on.

You’ve got two more babbehs to say goodbye to, another babbeh to give a name, and then you’ve got Daisy and Elm’s babbehs to look forward to, and then you’ve got Rose and Rowan’s babbehs to look forward to.

You’ll tell daddeh to tell mistah Cal you want to join later.

After the last of Rose and Rowan’s babbehs has left.

This comes first.

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