Warning: spoilers for the Inhuman Alliance Saga.
You are Lavender, and you don’t feel so worried anymore.
You had told mistah Cal about your scary sleepy picture, and he rewarded you with a skettie treat.
A short while later, the dok-tow called your daddeh, saying the sitty was under attack.
Again.
Even you’ve noticed that it happens a lot.
The dok-tow said there were wewewowfs, like mistah Rex, but not as nice, rocky not-hoomins like mistah Kobul, but also not as nice, you don’t remember what mistah Kobul’s kind of ayy-wee-enn is called, and zum-bee fluffies, like Mortis, but also not as nice.
You felt bad fighting the zum-bee fluffies. They might have gone forever sleepies and gotten back up, they might have been trying to give everyone else forever sleepies, but they were still fluffies.
At the end, you all found the dok-tow’s bwuddah, with a long not sorry stick with a glowy sharp thing, mistah Cal’s sun, mistah Quin, and mistah Alpha, and they had captured someone who looked like mistah Cal.
But it wasn’t.
The real mistah Cal showed up, with a lot of owwies, and he threw a wobot at the other mistah Cal and cut the other mistah Cal’s head off.
Then a munstah like your old munstah daddeh came out of the forever sleeping mistah Cal, and the real mistah Cal cut its head off.
And then mistah Cal fell asleep. Right there, in the stweet.
You weren’t sure what that was about, or why mistah Alpha made all those sharp owwies on the fake mistah Cal’s face.
Later, you heard that the bad wizz-uwd who turned those fluffies into zum-bees got his head taken off too, and that the dok-tow had his head in the dok-tow’s housie, to make him talk.
This confused you, because you were pretty sure that taking someone’s head off made them go forever sleepies.
You had just seen it happen to the fake mistah Cal with the munstah inside.
But the dok-tow explained it to you.
“Necrosis is undead, Lavender. He doesn’t need things like a heart or lungs or even a stomach anymore. He can still stay unalive as a head, it just means he can’t cast spells anymore. Or at least, spells that require hand gestures. But the anti-magic field Valerie developed should keep him from casting any other spells.”
“Su Nek-woh-siss am zum-bee tuu?”
“Sort of. He’s a lich, a rare kind of sentient undead. You see, Lav, zombies like Reggae and Mortis, who can still think and speak, they’re a rarity. The staff that turned them was created by Necrosis, and could create elite zombies. Regular zombies aren’t as chatty as those two. Or as hardy. But Necrosis retains all the intelligence he had in life, and then some, along with his spellcasting abilities. And should someone destroy his body, he’ll be able to cheat death again and again, as long as his phylactery remains undestroyed.”
“Wut am a fai-wuh, fai-wah…”
“A phylactery is where a lich’s soul retreats when their body is destroyed. Then they can generate a new body. So we can’t deal with him in a permanent fashion until we can find his phylactery. And if anyone knows where it is, it’ll be him. Liches are usually extremely protective of their phylacteries, and Lavender, you’ll disaapoint me if I have to explain why.”
“Nu, Wavendew git it.”
Not entirely. What you understood is that a wich needs to keep their soul-hidey thing safe, so they won’t go forever sleepies.
And if you had something that important, you’d try to hide it somewhere safe.
But fluffies aren’t the best at hiding things.
They’re certainly not good at hiding themselves.
Blueberry learned that the hard way in his first life.
In more mundane news, Daisy is close to having the babbehs.
When your daddeh told the dok-tow that Daisy was a soon-mummah again, him and mistah Cal came to the fawn.
Mistah Cal was carrying a big boxie.
“Call me Xzibit, because I’m about to hook you up with a pimped out ride!”
It was a little caw, like the ones your daddeh had gotten for all the fluffies a while back.
“Mistah Caw, we awweady haf doze.”
Rowan drove past in his little fluffy caw at just the right time.
“Little guy knows how to punctuate a point. This one’s for soon-mummahs, Lav. They can’t work the controls of the regular Fluffmobile, their hooves can’t reach.”
You remember that, from back when you were a soon-mummah.
Oh boy. You’re going to go through that again when you and Oak take your turn.
Maybe you two should have gone first, so you could get that out of the way.
Oh well. No use making saddie wawas over spilled milkies.
Mistah Cal helped get it set up.
He used his floaty thing to get Daisy in there, and he was gentle, and told her how to use it.
“Heh heh, off she goes. Keep an eye on her in case she’s about to crash, Les.”
“Cal, we’ve always got someone keeping an eye on the fluffies.”
“You know what I’m thinking?”
“What?”
“We should set up a racetrack. Ooh, maybe we could make some power ups, too. I’ll ask the Nerd Squad. Later. They’ve already got enough on their plate, especially with our guest in the basement.”
Apparently there’s a big big big big big munstah inside the pwanet, and if mistah Cal had fought mistah Alpha’s bwuddah on the pwanet, the munstah would have woken up, and bad things would happen.
You didn’t know that mistah Alpha had a bwuddah. You know he’s like a bwuddah to mistah Prommy, but you didn’t know anything about an actual bwuddah.
You should probably ask mistah Alpha later.
And you certainly didn’t know about the munstah inside the pwanet.
How long has that been there?!?
As you watch your fluffy friends, your herd, enjoying a beautiful bwite time outside, you turn to your uncle Klaus, current watching you all in hoomin form.
“Wavendew am gunna gu tu da Skoow, uncuw Kwaus. If aneewun awsks.”
He nods.
“I’ll be sure to tell Les, so he doesn’t worry.”
You recently got a new cowwaw from mistah Cal, and when he told you what it does, you couldn’t wait to try it out.
How does it work? Oh yeah.
“Bwip Wavendew tu da Skoow.”
A voice comes out of the cowwaw.
“Confirm command: blip Lavender to the School.”
What were you supposed to say now?
Um… oh, right.
“Cawn-fiwm.”
blip