Lost HasBio Commercial and Outtakes Part 1 by Karn

On April 22 20XX, at Seven P.M. in the Eastern Standard Time Zone, a strange commercial played on every television set that was set to HasBio’s “FluffTV” station. The commercial was roughly six minutes and cycled through the programming block three times before the network went down for nearly three hours. HasBio had denied all existence of the infamous commercial and has threatened extreme litigation to those who have uploaded these “false defamation campaigns.” Many anti-HasBio black sites online host these videos and many, many more for the public to view. It is our wishes for you to know the truth. Please be aware that the following video is not for the faint of heart. It contains extreme apathy and abuse to fluffy wellbeing, as well as a deep look into the corporate nightmare that is HasBio’s research and PR division. Please be aware that any attempts to copy or download these videos will be blocked and if HasBio Inc becomes aware of any such activity, successful or otherwise, it could result in a prison sentence of up to three years and/or a fine of $60,000. Be armed ,be informed, be Vigilant.

The screen goes from black to a yellow staged backdrop, the camera clearly tilted at a slight angle. There is a wooden table with a lithe, tall man in a dapper blue suit standing behind it. He is looking into a hand mirror, mouthing something as he fiddles with his overly styled and gelled hair. An audible popping sound occurs and there is audio, with the suited man practicing his speech. “Unique New-York, Unique New-York.” From offscreen, slight sobbing can be heard as a moderately sized cage is brought to the table, a white furred earthie fluff with a light blue mane huddled against the corner furthest from the person carrying it, only their arms in frame as they drop the cage onto the table, prompting the fluffy to scream and void it’s bowels.

The suited man suddenly jumps back. “Dear lord what IS that?!” A muffled voice can be slightly heard, the actual words indecipherable. The suited man stares in disbelief, his glance shifting back and forth between the unseen man and the fluffy, now quietly crying as it looks up at the suited man. He shakes his head, narrowing his focus on the white earthie as he leans for a closer look. “Well my agent never said anything about it, and personally I find the whole thing unprofessional. And that smell…clearly we’ll have to clean it up.” The white fluffy, now nearly face to face with the suited man, it’s eyes still dripping with tears, looks to him.

“Fwuffy sowwy nu smeww pwetty…”

“Jesus Christ!!! What the Fu…”

The shot fades to black, coming back in on the set, still at an angle. The cage is gone and the suited man is now framed so that his back is the focus. There is no sign of the previous fluffy but now a pink unicorn with a lime green mane is sitting on the edge of the table, holding a small ball between it’s hooves, occasionally bouncing it against the desk and catching it awkwardly. The suited man is clearly on his phone and angry. “Well let me tell you, I was rated the number five weather man in Denver and I will not be treated this way. I mean they’ve got me working with literal mon…” As he walks off frame his voice loses volume, his conversation dying out midsentence. The pink unicorn then spends the next three minutes playing with it’s ball, the footage speeding up to triple speed before finally slowing back down as her ball bounces too far and falls off the table, the unicorn getting up and pouncing in it’s direction.

“Siwwy baww, nu wun way’.”

As she reached the apex of her small jump, she went careening off of the table, her short scream of realization cut off by the hard fall, the camera losing focus for a moment as it is lightly shaken. The unicorn is off screen but her screams and cries can be heard at a lower volume.

“Huu…huu…huu…Hewp Fwuffy! Fwuffy faww an’ hab wowest huwties…”

Her pleads continue as it takes nearly two minutes for anyone to notice, despite her loud protests and pain filled screeches, the footage speeding up to triple time. As the speed returns to normal, the man from off screen can now be partially seen, a short and gaunt man in a lab coat with only his shoulders and below being visible. He is standing above where the fluffy fell looking down, the injured unicorn clearly speaking to him.

“P’wease mistuh, fwuffy su huwtie. Faww an’ nu feew pwetty.Nee’ huggies an’ wuv.”

The main in the lab coat reaches behind him, pulling out a small silver rod that was clasped to his belt. With a slight flourish, he snaps his hand, the rod extending into a short baton that hums and crackles with a perceivable blue electric aura. Lifting it above his obscured head, he begins to bring it down wildly again and again, the unicorn’s pleading turning into wild pained screams.


A quick fade and the pink unicorn is back on the table, slumped onto her bruised belly, lightly sobbing. Her fur is slightly bloody and she is cradling her injured stomach. A bone can be seen slightly protruding from her back left leg. Occasionally the man in a lab coat can be heard, his voice again muted and inaudible, with each time he can be heard onscreen causing the wounded fluffy to wince. The suited man walks back into screen, suddenly looking at the unicorn. “Damn, you did a number on her. Do we need to get another one for the shoot?” The muffled voice of the man in the lab coat engages him in a brief conversation, the suited man nodding. “Well can that be covered up? She looks rough.” The suited man chuckles slightly, gesturing towards the curled up fluffy.

Another cut and the fluffy is now in tilted zoom, her distress clear as a pair of feminine hands start to try to apply concealer over her wounds, the blood from before having already been cleaned off. The unicorn screams and shrieks as the brush comes close to her contusions, even the light and subtle pressure clearly causing her a great deal of agony. She wiggles and writhes against the make-up artist.


The woman’s hands throw the make-up off screen as she yells: “I can’t work under these conditions.” There is a garbled conversation off screen as the fluffy sobs, hugging it’s belly to try to console itself, her eyes occasionally widening and looking off to camera left. Only faint bits reach the proper pitch to be heard, with only the make-up artists voice, still white hot and furious with incredulity at the situation. “…Well she’ll have to hold fucking still for me to…”

A light beeping sound and a crackling as the image cuts back to the unicorn, now standing awkwardly on her back legs, with her front legs firmly at her sides, her discomfort obvious as she wiggles slightly, her face still wet with tears. The bruises are now practically invisible, with only a few areas being slightly darker pink than her normal coat standing out. She is stifling a sob and trying not to cry, her head occasionally shifting to see someone out of frame, her head quickly shifting away at a muffled voice’s direction each time. After nearly seven minutes ,the footage again speeding up this time to ten times speed, the suited man comes back into frame, looking down at the unicorn as the footage returns to normal speed. “…amned miracle! How’d you finally get her to sit still?” He looks away, in the same direction the unicorn is now glancing nervously in. He suddenly sports a wide grin, showing off his teeth that are far too white, to the point of looking unnatural. “Glue?! Really?” He starts to laugh wildly, nearly falling over as he holds his trim belly. He stands after a moment, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “Will it hold?”

The scene fades and is quickly filled with the unicorn’s screams as the same feminine hands as before are now behind her, forcing her to move back and forth, in a grim parody of dancing. As she is bobbed back and forth, it is clear that her hooves are affixed to the table with adhesive and her front legs are affixed to her sides. The movement becomes too much and her leg injury pressed through the cheap window dressing the make-up artist had covered it with, the bone protruding through the modeling putty and color foundation. The poor unicorn screams, her eyes going wild as she is jolted back and forth.


A quick fade out and in, back in to the fluffy, her screaming subsided and the leg injury re-covered. The make-up artist’s hands were using a brush to touch up her face to cover the tear stains, with the unicorn tilting her head away and coughing as the off pink dust got into her mouth.

“*cough…*cough…Fwuffy nu wike duwsties…*cough…*cough…*cough…hawd tu bwea’d fo’ fwuffy…”

As the make-up artist continued to make final touch ups, the fluffy’s face looking less and less like she had been bawling, a garbled voice can be heard from off camera, the words clearly directed at the fluffy. As the words increase in volume, the unicorn starts to struggle against the brush, turning her head away from the voice.

“Buh…buh fwuffy nu happies…hab wowest heawt huwties…nu wan smiwe…”

Suddenly the back of the lab coat can be seen, the silver baton striking the table in front of the fluffy as she gasps, then a fade to black.

“New from HasBio…” The suited man’s voice booms with mirth and cheer as the yellow backdrop is revealed. A simple jingle starts to play lightly, as not to overshadow the announcer. Several angles start to show the table with horse related paraphernalia. A shot of a pair of horseshoes, painted white with a horse whinny sound effect as the shot zooms in and out on them. Then a saddle, poorly bedazzled with cheap, fake gemstones. "Based on the beloved characters of “My Litt…” The screen freezes as a loud noise bleeps the audio and a massive trail of white test covers the screen, panning from the bottom to the top far too fast to be read as another voice suddenly cuts in, reading the text in an almost comically expedient way, being indecipherable. A brief skip as the lights cut for a moment, a silhouetted pink unicorn fluffy suddenly lit by spotlight. “It’s My Fluffy!” Suddenly the music becomes exceptionally upbeat as the camera pans in and out, the fluffy creature dancing back and forth, her eyes wide with a large smile.

Another quick one based on an idea that crept in while I was thinking about dystopias and Robocop. Have a good night all . :heart: