“Oh my fucking god. Yous actually fuggin did it.”
Craig and Sarah looked up. “Did what, Marlene?” Sarah asked.
“Dont you “Did what” me! I just got back from the fuckin convention center and they were replacing the goddamn toilet paper with built in litterpals!”
“Marlene, calm down.”
“Don’t call me to calm down Craig you failed artist! You an’ her fucking promised me PalCo would never do that! Episode one-thirty-seven!”
“Marlene there’s over five hundred episodes of Litterpal Power Hour you can’t expect me or Craig to remember every one that got your butt jacked.”
“-and someday, even human mummahs an daddehs might get their own litterpals! -giggle-”
“Oh shit.” Craig looked up from his phone.
“I can’t.” Marlene said. “The autofluff processors were only supposed to be for crypto bullshit and then AI fucked the job market, so it needed to “go green” to save it’s reputation and now I can’t call out for Lasagna or Fettachini without them switchin it to Sketties instead.”
Marlene looked down, dejected. “I haven’t had anything Alfredo in years.”
“Marlene, Jesus. Calm down.”
“Shitrats on every street corner and alleyway. Shitrats in every home. Shitrats in computers. Shitrats in our food. Shitrats clean our air. Now I can’t even take a shit without a shitrat in my ass.”
“It’s only the convention center.”
“For now.” Marlene said glumly. “There’s always more.”