“Of course you do.” Maxine said as she looked at Strawberry’s lifted truck with mild bemusement.
“What?” Strawberry asked incredulously. “No, weawwy. What?”
“Nothing.” Maxine replied as she lifted Strawberry into the passenger’s seat. “Hold onto this.” she said as she placed the foal basket into Strawberry’s lap. “Gotta get you like, a car seat.”
“Don’t ewe dawe.” Strawberry said with a grimace as Maxine went around to the driver’s seat. “Stwabewwy not babbeh.”
Maxine got in and buckled up. She turned to Strawberry as she started the car, “Would you prefer a pet carrier?”
“…Stawabewwy wan car seat…” they said, defeated.
The trip to the store was uneventful other than Maxine complaining about blind spots. They pulled into the parking lot of the nearest Fluffy Mart and Maxine helped Strawberry Cream down. She picked up Cherry’s basket and gave the foal a tickle on its belly. Cherry Cooed in delight and went back to sleep.
“By the by, how’s the whole fluffy thing going for you so far?” Maxine asked, “Because just so you know your little trial’s gonna affect the fate of the whole world.”
“…what?” Strawberry asked in shock, “mummeh sewrious?”
“Oh yeah, totally. You fail this and the whole planet goes bye bye. Extremely serious stuff.” Maxine said as deadpan as possible.
Jesus. Was strawberry going to have to bear the sins of everyone on earth when it comes to fluffies? Why is this on his back? He’d better be taking this seriously, he really does not want to be the one that ends it all because he was a bad mom. He walked alongside Maxine in silence, a thousand yard stare on his little face. Dealing with the existential horror of whatever Maxine was and did to him is one thing, but the whole world being threatened by this bitch? He wasn’t sure if he could bear the weight.
As they got to the door, Maxine crouched down and looked Strawberry Cream dead in the eyes with a deadly serious look, “Gotcha!” she said with a mad cackle, “The look on your face, priceless.”
Strawberry’s mouth fell agape. “Stwabewwy hateses munstah mummeh.”
“Gotta keep you on your toes. Well, hooves. You get what I mean.” She said as she opened the door for Strawberry. They walked in and were greeted by a friendly looking worker. “Welcome to Fluffy Mart, how can I help you?” he said.
“Hey there, first time fluffy owner looking for supplies. Can you help me out?” Maxine asked politely, “Found these two in an alleyway and just couldn’t let them die in the cold.” she said with a smile.
“Alleyways do seem to be the natural habitat of ferals” The worker said with a laugh, “But sure, I can help you out.” He looked down to Strawberry Cream, who was sitting down next to Maxine. “You’re gonna need a leash for her, for one.”
“Fwuffy am fine.” Strawberry said, looking the worker in the eyes. “Stwabewwy used to be fwuffy.” Strawberry’s lips pursed in annoyance. “Stwabeww was hu-… fwuffy was… fwuffy was fwuffy.” Great. Apparently Maxine thought to prevent people from knowing what happened to him. Strawberry glared at Maxine who was giggling at his expense.
“Stwabewwy keeps ta mummeh, no wowwies.” the fluffy said as it stared the worker in the eyes, “mummeh needses the helps, cweawy.”
The unnamed worker could see a malicious intelligence behind those eyes. Usually these little idiots would puff themselves up and make a grand display but this one… this one is so non-plussed it’s kind of alarming. He then decided he doesn’t get paid enough for this shit and chose to roll with it.
“What’s with the sausage looking one in the corner there?” Maxine said, pointing to a crying foal in the corner of a display box near the entrance. For whatever reason it was missing its legs and was whimpering to itself.
“Occasionally we get a few pillow’d foals and put em up on clearance to see if anyone wants them. Feels nicer giving them at least a chance to be adopted before we euthanize them. This one has a lot going against it, brown fur doesn’t sell well in the best of times.”
“They’re a lot of extra work, can’t keep themselves clean, get themselves to food, or basically do anything. Honestly, I’m unsure sometimes if it’s not better to put them down and save everyone from the trauma.”
Maxine bit her lip, she really did not want to pick up another fluffy buuuut it’s not like she couldn’t throw the workload at Strawberry. That and it’s not like she can’t fix a few missing legs. She tapped the foal on its back and gently whispered, “Hello little friend, can I talk to you?”
The foal screeched in terror, “No hurtses babbeh, babbeh am… babbeh am goodses babbeh! Pwease wady, babbeh haveses nuthin weft ta givesies. Meanies humies awready tookes weggies! Babbeh no wans fowevah sweepies huuu”
The other foals in the case were annoyed by Maxine giving the foal attention and she couldn’t tell if it was because of the screeching or because it was as they called it, “a poopeh babbeh.” Either way, she knocked them out for a spell with a quick spell so she could talk. “Not gonna hurt you, I promise. Can I turn you around so we can speak?”
The foal whimpered and cried in response which Maxine didn’t take as a no. She pinched it between her fingers and rotated it 180 degrees. The foal was pretty cute with a dark brown on brown color scheme. Adorable, albeit terrified out of its little mind.
“I got an offer for you, little friend.” Maxine said to the foal, “I can give you back your leggies but you’ll get the worstest itchies like, ever.” She thought on how to better convey this to the foal, “Leggies grow slowly, itchies the whole time. But! Leggies will be even better than old leggies, I promise.”
Maxine looked over the foal from a few different angles, getting a better idea of just how to go about it. Regenerating limbs falls is fairly simple healing but the foal was so tiny that doing too much at once could end up with a crazy amount of cancer at best. Akira blob monster at worst. “Can only do one leg at a time. You’re too little, gotta go slowsies.”
The foal bobbed its head happily at the thought of getting weggies again. Maxine peeped into its thoughts and found that it absolutely did not get the whole, “Unbearable itch of regrowing limbs” thing but hey, she tried.
“Do you want to come home with me and get new leggies?” She asked.
The foal cheered with such joy that if it still had legs it’d probably be bouncing off the walls. “Nu mummeh is bestest! Wuv mummeh fohevahs!”
Maxine smiled reassuringly and said, “Ok, you wait here and don’t go anywhere. I’ll get things sorted out.” Maxine turned back to the staff member who was eyeing Strawberry suspiciously, “I’ll take the little sausage there too.” Maxine said to the worker, “Seems like a friendly sort and Cherry could use a playmate.”
The worker gave Maxine the look only a service worker could provide, the resigned look of, “this customer is an idiot but I am not going to argue I do not get paid enough for this.” Worst case scenario the fluffy gets returned to the store and hell, it might not even be on his shift.
“Hey Strawberry, we’re bringing this one home with us.” Maxine said loudly, “Come meet her.”
Strawberry rolled her eyes and made her way over to Maxine. He guessed that He weren’t getting out of here without this bleeding heart picking up another fluffy, so might as well see what the damage was. Maxine picked Strawberry up and placed them on the counter next to the display box.
“That’s our new friend, SC.” Maxine said as she pointed to the fluffy in the corner, “Introduce yourself while I go get more stuff.” She walked off with the store worker to go get more fluffy supplies, leaving Strawberry alone with the foal.
Strawberry looked down at the case and took stock of things. Yep. Pillowed brown fluffy is about what he expected to see. The other fluffies seemingly dead in the display was a bit alarming but Strawberry honestly didn’t care that much. They were of course sleeping but Strawberry didn’t bother to check.
“Hewwo! Ams nu fwuffey mummeh?” the foal asked. “Fwuffy am fuww of heart happies!”
“Swawbewwy am Swawbewwy Cweam.” Strawberry said to the foal and sighed, “Wun more poppeh babbeh to the piwel.”
The foal’s excitement dropped immediately. It began to cry again as its newfound hope was immediately snatched from it, “Huuuu… nu fwuffy mummeh hateses poopeh babbeh. Babbeh kno too good to be twue…”
“Dummeh.” Strawberry scoffed and waved a hoof dismissively, “Aww bebbeh aww dummeh bebbeh. Aww bebbeh ams worstest. Aww fwuffy poopeh.”
The foal fell silent as she considered Strawberry’s words. Despite initially being taken aback by the cruel mare she found some solace in Strawberry’s ‘wisdom’. “If aww babbeh worstest… den no babbeh ams bestest! Aww ams samesies, even fwuffies wif no weggies!” The baby beamed with a smile that could melt most hearts.
Strawberry leaned her back against the counter nonchalantly and said, “Whatevies fwoats youses boatsies, babbeh.”
“So over here we’ve got your typical fluffy kibble. Your mare’s going to want this. The brown foal will need it in a week or two, and your chirpy there’s probably got about a month of milk left.”
Maxine nodded, “Why is so much of it spaghetti flavored?”
“Fluffies go wild for the stuff. Have no idea why, stopped questioning it years ago.” The worker said with a shrug, “You can get a fluffy to do pretty much anything for spaghetti.”
Maxine raised a finger as if to say something and then thought better of it, not the weirdest thing about these critters she’s seen. Definitely up there though.
“I’ll take whatever you think is the highest quality” she said, “What else do you suggest I get?”
“I’d suggest building a safe room for your little herd there but your mare is creepily intelligent and your new foal probably isn’t going to get up to much mischief. But the chirpy will need it eventually.” The worker said, “Standard litterbox, padded walls, food dispensers and water bowls. Probably a sorry box and a sorry stick.”
“Sorry box and stick?” Maxine asked, eyebrow raised.
“It’s like a time out box, fluffies hate it. Put them in the dark for a bit and they’ll start feeling regret almost immediately. The stick is for whacking bad fluffies to really get the point across. Just about anything works for either, but we have some padded foam sticks which you might be interested in.”
“…I’m gooood there I think.” Maxine said through her teeth, “Although I don’t think the sorry box will work on good ol’ SC over there. But it does give me an idea.” She continued to grab supplies, a few toys for different age groups, a fence to keep the foals penned in, and some spaghetti flavored treats.
She went back over to where Strawberry was chatting with the foal and informed them that they were ready to get going. She helped Strawberry off the countertop and put the foal next to Cherry in her little basket.
“This is Cherry Cream, your new sister.” Maxine said, “I hope you get along well.”
“Fwuffie wuv sissy!” the brown foal said in delight, “Sissy haves pwettiest colors.”
“I’m gonna call you Eclair”, Maxine said to the brown foal as they made their way to the checkout counter. “Because you look like a little long john.”
Eclair squeed in excitement at their new name. Strawberry however, asked “Have ou haves nummies at aww? Monstuh mummeh cweawy has nummies on thinkie place.”
Maxine thought for a moment and said, “Yeaaaah, haven’t actually eaten since I got here. Been too busy trying to get my bearings.” Maxine leaned way down into Strawberry’s ear and whispered, “By the way, what’s your pin number.”
Strawberry grumbled, “Sewwiouswy?”
Maxine nodded a bunch, “I’m good for it, promise.”
“…0451. Mummeh bettah pay fwuffy back” Strawberry said in a huff.
Maxine checked out and loaded the supplies and fluffies into the truck. Eclair was marveling at everything the whole time, not quite believing that she got adopted and not quite believing that she’d get new legs but if this was a dream she never wanted to wake up.
Maxine started the truck and Eclair started crying in terror, “Angwy noisies!!!” she panicked, “Mummies, wun! Weave Ecwaire an saves selfies!” It flailed around in the basket, rolling itself over to shield Cherry from the Truck. “Weave pwettiest sissy! Hurstes Eclair!”. Trembling and sobbing, the filly was resolved to protect its new family. They had made her the happiest she’s ever been and she was determined to return the gesture however she could.
While Strawberry appreciated the foal knowing its place in the hierarchy, he rolled his eyes and petted the foal reassuringly, “Munstah mummeh am vewy stwong, Ecwaire dummeh if Ecwaire have scaredies. Nuthin scawwier dan munstah mummeh.” Strawberry meant it. He was pretty sure he should be going insane for so many reasons, but Maxine wouldn’t let him. The woman terrified him on a level that never quite breached the surface but he knew it was there, kept at bay by whatever magic bullshit Maxine had cast on him.
Something about the way Strawberry talked was very convincing to Eclaire. Perhaps it was the absolute lack of concern on his part, perhaps it was the logic of an annoyed human coming from the mouth a fluffy. Either way, Eclair calmed down and rolled off of Cherry. The chirpy did not appreciate the selfless act, chirping in protest at being disturbed from its nap.
Maxine gave Strawberry a thumbs up for good parenting and pulled out of the parking lot, “Ok gang, have a bit more shopping to do before we go home but if you’re good I’ll make you some spaghetti as a treat!”
Eclair was so happy that the foal started vibrating in joy. If the little thing got any happier it burst from happiness. “Sketties?!?” she said in disbelief, “Dis am bestest bwitght-times evah!!!”
Strawberry was not so impressed but shrugged, “Mummeh can cooks?” he asked with slight approval. At least the bitch was good for something.
“Oh yeah, I’m a pretty decent chef.” Maxine said in reply, “I’ll make some marinara from scratch, you have a ton of equipment at your house so I might as well make use of it. The secret to good umami is tomato paste with chopped up anchovies and your blenders are great for saving time.”
Strawberry peered suspiciously at Maxine. Did she know what he used those blenders and food processors for? Was she taunting him? He honestly couldn’t tell with this woman. “…Cleanies aww da spinnies firstest.” he said with mild concern.
“Well of course, I have no idea when the last time they were cleaned was.” Maxine said in a matter of fact tone. She pulled into the parking lot of a crafts store, “Keep an eye on the babies, I’ll be back in a bit.”
Strawberry raised an eyebrow. What did she need from a crafts store? What, was she going to take up sewing?
Maxine got 6 mirrors of equal length, 8 LED lights, a hinge with latch, and a handful of fasteners. The sorries box might not work on Strawberry, but the Penance Cube will definitely throw him for a loop. She cackled to herself in delight, but the cashier interrupted her. “Will that be cash or credit, ma’am?”
“Oh, uh. Credit please.”
The Penance Cube.
Take six mirrors of equal length and arrange them into a box with the mirrors facing inward. Put LEDs to desired brightness in the corners of the cube. Put a hinge and latch on the top for access and security. Woila! You have your very own infinity cube, perfect for sending someone an existential nightmare trip.
I really like eclair, she’s fun