Hello, hello, and welcome to another installment of NobodyAtAll Literary Universe 101. Or just NLU 101 for short.
It’s been a while since the last installment, huh?
For the uninitiated among you, this is a series meant to explain certain aspects of the NobodyAtAll Literary Universe to new readers.
We’ve already covered Phenomenon X, how various fluffy subspecies that exist across headcanons differ in this headcanon, and magic.
So you might want to read the prior installments before you continue, but it’s not mandatory.
Today, we’ll be discussing something that is… mostly related to fluffies.
Namely, the premier fluffy-related corporation in the NLU.
Not FluffCo, not Alenix, and not even Hasbio.
No, today we’ll be talking about…
THE FAUCHEUSE CORPORATION
Well, it’s right in the title.
The Faucheuse Corporation, or just FauCorp, is the business empire founded by the brilliant Dr. Pierre Faucheuse, its headquarters being based in Faucheuse Tower, in the city that Calvin Korkea and so many other members of the ChaotiX call home.
Pierre initially founded the business that would eventually become FauCorp to fund his experiments, and before the creation of fluffykind, FauCorp dealt in things like electronics, toys, medicine, and makeup. Many of their products were invented by Pierre himself, or his daughter, Dr. Valerie Valentine.
But those are the boring enterprises, and not what you’re here for.
After the Fall of Cleveland, FauCorp became the tool through which Pierre and his associates in the Fluffy Cabal would work to better fluffykind’s lot. FauCorp was restructured to meet the needs of this entirely new species, several branches of the operation built up specifically with fluffies in mind.
Pierre’s (semi-)retired now, but his other daughter, Susan Laine-Stoley, has taken over as CEO, overseeing the mission in his stead.
FauCorp has become the leading fluffy company in this headcanon, which was but one of their goals.
The competition tends to prioritise profit over the wellbeing of fluffies, but FauCorp is owned by the richest family on the planet, so making a profit is merely a bonus.
Naturally, abuse is not tolerated on FauCorp property anywhere in the world, regardless of the legal status of fluffies.
FauCorp’s long term goal is to help fluffies reach full independence, so they can finally be on equal footing with the humanoids.
But a goal like that could take years, if not decades or centuries to reach.
Slow and steady wins the race.
So for now, FauCorp’s short term goal is to be part of every stage of a fluffy’s life, from the cradle to the grave.
Starting with…
FLUFFTOPIA
Flufftopia is a chain of fluffy stores, that aims to offer better fluffies and fluffy products than the competition, at fair prices.
They don’t want abusers using “but I can’t afford Flufftopia products!” as an excuse.
At Flufftopia, not only can you adopt a fluffy, you can find anything a fluffy might possibly need or want.
It’s pretty big. Wal-Mart big.
Of course, if you need things to abuse fluffies with, they’ve got some big doors for you to walk out through. If you want kibble made of fluffies, look elsewhere.
Again, abuse isn’t tolerated on FauCorp property. And there’s several members of the ChaotiX working at Flufftopia’s most prominent branch, like Dwayne Sinclair and Kyle Jones. Do you really want to argue with them?
Flufftopia has all the things you’d expect a fluffy store to stock, all the regular fixtures of a saferoom: beds, bowls, kibble, litterboxes and the requisite litter, and toys, most of which are part of Flufftopia’s own Bestest brand.
They want to make the point that Bestest brand products live up to their name.
They even offer a service to set your new saferoom up for you, if you’re too incompetent or lazy to DIY it.
But they also sell things you might not be familiar with, like Fluffmobiles, electric cars for fluffies, and the GameFluff, a video game console for fluffies.
It uses cartridges. They’re safer for fluffies to handle.
They sell Bestest Babbeh Friends, for the mares who want foals but couldn’t take care of real foals, and Bestest TV Friends, which are TV remotes designed to be operated by hooves…
They sell carts with big wheels, designed to be easy for a fluffy to push, and Herd-Lights, solar-powered lights for feral nests…
And behind the beaded curtain, you’ll find things like Special Huggie Friends, which are, well, sex dolls for fluffies. They’ve even got a machine for putting custom Special Huggie Friends together in a flash.
Hey, at least that way, you don’t have to worry about your stallion raping your slippers.
And expecting fluffies to just ignore their natural urges rarely works.
Abstinence barely works for humans.
But as you can see, FauCorp has strived to fill every niche that the competition has overlooked.
And that just doesn’t apply to the diverse range of products sold by Flufftopia, nosiree!
It also applies at…
FLUFFYWOOD STUDIOS
Lights! Camera! Action!
This is where all of the programming seen on The Fluff Network (FauCorp’s streaming service for fluffies, TFN for short) is scripted, filmed, and edited, located right in the city so many of the ChaotiX call home, just like Faucheuse Tower.
That city has served as a testbed for a lot of brilliant ideas, and you’ll find out about another of them later.
Getting back on topic, TFN was started in order to correct all the damage that the much maligned FluffTV has done to the fluffy zeitgeist. Countless mares have run off to get knocked up after getting an accidental glimpse of Babies!, which only made the feral fluffy problem worse.
Really, it’s like the people at FluffTV are doing it on purpose.
But yeah, that’s one thing TFN intends to do something about. They don’t show foals at all in the Standard Package, only in the optional Foal Package, and in Bundles of Joy, the equivalent to Babies!, placed in the equally optional After-Hours Package.
They’ve gone out of their way to prevent that old song and dance from repeating itself.
And TFN has all kinds of shows that are both educational and entertaining. It’s been proven that fluffies learn more watching TFN than they do watching FluffTV.
For further information on The Fluff Network, see the story… “The Fluff Network”.
As for Fluffywood itself, Xavier Laine, Susan’s husband (who happens to be half-alien), is the showrunner, overseeing the humanoids who script, film and edit the shows, and the fluffies who star in them. One of his best employees is Cecil von Drachen, head of the writing department, and one of Xavier and Susan’s fellow ChaotiX members.
All of the fluffies who star in Fluffywood productions are alicorns, which is why they’re called Alicorn Actors, or AAs for short. It’s easy to edit out horns and wings with CGI, and alicorns are smart enough to not get lost in character.
The AAs live in Flufferly Hills, Fluffywood’s residential section, where they enjoy lives of luxury when not on set, or making public appearances.
If you’re curious to see what it’s like inside Fluffywood, see… “Fluffywood Swinging”. Yes, it’s a reference to the Kool & the Gang song, this headcanon is packed to the rafters with references.
As for how Fluffywood acquires their talent, well, while they’ll accept walk-ins if a fluffy meets their high standards, most of the AAs begin their lives in…
FAUCORP’S BREEDING FACILITIES
These have already been covered in stories like “Facility B-34”, but let’s just do a quick recap.
In these facilities, fluffies are bred and raised by the Faucheuse method. The foals are raised by their birth parents, and you’ll find no milkbags or breeding pillows in these facilities.
It’s expensive and time-consuming, but it gets results, damnit.
So yeah, these are the facilities that supply Flufftopia with their pets-to-be, and Fluffywood with their AAs.
There are facilities like the aforementioned Facility B-34, breeding conventional fluffies, and facilities like Facility X-88, breeding more unconventional fluffy subspecies like aquafluffies, stone fluffies, Flag Fluffies, microfluffies, Superfluffy Fluffies and toon fluffies.
And there are facilities like Facility A-40, which don’t breed fluffies, but instead, treat fluffies with various mental afflictions.
They’re far better at keeping the inmates from escaping than Arkham Asylum is.
THE FAUCHEUSE FOUNDATION
Motto: “Because No One Else Will”.
The Faucheuse Foundation serves as a place for unwanted/abused fluffies, a home for fluffies who have no home. Since fluffy abuse began being outlawed, many fluffies have been taken away from their abusive owners, and brought to the Foundation.
There, they’re often adopted out to new owners. Each branch of the Foundation is protected by powerful forces, including wards to keep anyone with hostile intentions towards fluffies out.
Or they can choose to keep living at the Foundation, if they feel they’re needed there.
Plenty of orphaned foals are brought to the Foundation, and plenty of fluffy couples who outlived their children are too. And there’s couples like Cleo and Julius, who have raised a lot of litters since their original litter grew up and was adopted out.
Calvin and Victor saved Cleo, Julius and their foals from a trio of abusers, and Calvin ended up adopting one of the foals himself.
The one catch is that is that any mares living at the Foundation have to be on a regimen of No-Foals Treats, which are essentially a fluffy birth control pill.
It’s necessary. Otherwise, the population would grow wildly out of control.
And once those mares are adopted out, it’s up to their owners to decide if they want to continue the regimen or not.
Of course, a good fluffy owner takes their fluffy’s input into account.
There are Foundation branches across the planet, but the most well-known branch, the first branch to be built, was built in the city that… oh, you can guess which city.
The city does have an actual name, but you’ll just have to wait to find out what it is. Patience is a virtue!
And yes, there’s ChaotiX members working there, too. Dr. Erwin Stahlberg, a member of the Nerd Squad, is the boss of that branch, and Mark Smith, who used to work at Flufftopia, moonlights as a demon hunter.
Fun fact: Mark has the honor of being the man who sold the strongest fluffy alive to the strongest human alive.
Anyway, the Foundation also serves as a general hospital for fluffies. They have excellent medical tech, including regeneration vats, so pillowing is merely a temporary problem in this headcanon.
And being backed by FauCorp means they won’t even charge you a dime.
Naturally, the ChaotiX has worked tirelessly, recovering fluffies from abusers of all sorts, from basement breeders and mill operators to jerks who just like picking on the weak.
And the ChaotiX’s Nerd Squad has worked to make the process of getting fluffies from A to B faster.
In this case, A is for Abuser, and B is for Better Home.
Yeah, it’s cheating a bit, I know, shut up.
Aaaaanyway, one of the Nerd Squad’s solutions is self-surrender booths, warded like the Foundation branches themselves, and equipped with actual teleportation technology. The same tech that most ChaotiX members use to blip around. Makes the trip a breeze.
Each Foundation branch has its own resident AI, who sets the coordinates. At the main branch, that’s Minerva.
In those booths, feral fluffies, or house fluffies who managed to escape their abusive owners, can be brought to the Foundation, or they can simply take shelter from bad weather.
Going to the Foundation isn’t mandatory, and neither is staying there.
Those involved with FauCorp’s mission for fluffy independence insist on giving all fluffies a choice.
Which brings us to…
THE CHAOTIX
Yes, technically the ChaotiX falls under FauCorp’s umbrella too. If you’ve been keeping up with NLU 101, you probably don’t need another explanation about the ChaotiX.
If you do, see the first installment of this series.
But yes, the ChaotiX is backed by FauCorp as well, because the ChaotiX needs to get funding from somewhere, and charging people for saving their lives would be a tad heartless.
What would they do if people refuse to cough up the dough, hmm? Put them back in danger?
In the case of most of the fluffies saved by the ChaotiX, charging them would also be pointless.
Rest assured, however, that Calvin doesn’t have to answer to FauCorp’s board of directors, or put up with executives meddling in how he runs his team.
They don’t really have the balls to push him around.
And while FauCorp is the company that makes most of the ChaotiX’s merchandise, it’s not like the team is walking around with corporate logos all over their battle suits.
Have you perhaps mistaken them for NASCAR?
Yes, those ChaotiX members are all collecting royalties for all the merch with their likenesses.
Including the fluffy members.
Fair’s fair.
HAPPY FLUFFY DAYCARE AND FLUFFY FITNESS
This last segment’s a bit short, I’m afraid.
Happy Fluffy Daycare is a chain of… well, fluffy daycares, and Fluffy Fitness is a chain of gyms for fluffies.
In the case of the latter, a Lunk Alarm isn’t really needed.
These two chains aren’t as prominent as Flufftopia or the Foundation, but they’re just as vital to the mission.
Just like any other branch of FauCorp’s operations, fluffy abuse isn’t tolerated at their daycares and gyms. Some of the cheaper daycares will keep the fluffies locked in cages too small for comfort, but Happy Fluffy Daycare intends to live up to the name, just like the Bestest brand.
And Fluffy Fitness is the best place for a pampered, pudgy house fluffy to lose some pounds and build some muscle.
Of course, none of the ChaotiX’s fluffies have much need for Fluffy Fitness. All ChaotiX members have access to a top notch training facility at the School.
Before you ask, yes.
The training rooms at the School do have artificial gravity.
CLOSING
Alas, we’ve already reached the end of another installment.
But I hope that this piece has been informative, helpful, and not too dry.
As always, if there’s a certain aspect of the NLU you feel needs to be covered in a future installment, don’t hesitate to let me know!
Look at how long it took me to decide on a topic for this installment. Help me help you!
Until next time, and remember…
Staaaay fluffy~!
Yes, that’s my signing-off catchphrase.
And no, I’m not changing it.