Notable Objects of the NobodyAtAll Literary Universe

Yet another information piece, friendos! I shouldn’t have to explain what this one’s about. As always, beware of spoilers, and new entries will be added as they appear in the stories. If I miss something, tell me!


The Sword of Kings/Excalibur/Joyeuse/Gram/The Sword of Mastery
An ancient sword taken up by several Champions over the years. Calvin is the current Champion, and King Arthur, Charlemagne, Sigurd and Lincoln were all previous Champions. The Sword of Kings’ exact origin is unknown.

The X-Shield
A round shield made by Mel Baron, for Calvin. Made of adamantium, with a layer of gold plating to block magic. And painted over with the ChaotiX logo, to conceal the gold plating.

Glenn’s sword, though originally Cyrus’. Forged from chivalrium and silver, for the specific purpose of killing vampires, werewolves and demons. Was broken in half by Ianos when he murdered Cyrus and cursed Glenn, and was repaired years later.

Minute Hand and Hour Hand
Jack’s katana and wakizashi, forged by Mel Baron. Made of chivalrium.

Nephilim Swords
The holy weapons wielded by those mortal souls gifted with angelic power. Can be manifested and demanifested at will, and extremely potent against demons and/or the wicked. Seeing as Klaus, Teach, Audrey, Cyrus, Future Marley and Scott have all become nephilim, they each possess the ability to summon a sword. Future Marley holds his in his teeth.

A legendary sword of Drakonian origin. Once wielded by Drakus himself. Dragons are extremely vulnerable to it, due to the fact that wounds inflicted by it suppress draconic powers by severing the wounded’s connection to the Dragon Force until the wound heals. Not a big deal to a half-dragon, but for a full-blooded dragon, who needs the Dragon Force to live? Well…

The Van Helsing Whip
A silver chain whip with a cross-shaped handle, passed down by Van Helsing to Van Helsing over generations. Used to slay many evil vampires, werewolves and demons. Old Abe owned it too, but didn’t use it until after his battle with Dracula. Sonia currently wields it. No, it doesn’t have anybody’s soul inside it.

Sun Guns
Laser rifles that fire beams of concentrated UV light, functionally identical to sunlight. So, an effective weapon against vampires and hostless draaks.

Web Shooters
Non-lethal weapons designed by Jack, using artificial webbing made by analyzing Reilly and Mayday’s webbing. The Nerd Squad is looking into other applications for the artificial webbing.

Ianos’ Scythe
A scythe created by Ianos, using blood magic. Was sentient, and evil. He didn’t use it during his first encounter with the ChaotiX, because it wasn’t in his study in Bran Castle, and he didn’t have time to get it. Was one of the many items confiscated by the ChaotiX after Ianos’ first death, and was retrieved by Fate when he summoned Ianos from Hell to join his Forces. Ultimately destroyed by Cyrus.

Jackie’s Scythe
A scythe forged by Mel for Jackie. Made of silver and chivalrium, and is not sentient. Jackie, being a dhampir, lacks the vampiric weakness to silver. It’s a bit big for Jackie, but he’ll grow into it.

Greebo’s Sword
A broadsword forged by, you guessed it, Mel for Greebo. Made of adamantium. Obviously, Greebo can only use it in his human form.

Marley’s Sword
A chivalrium sword forged for Marley by… well, guess. Has an engraving of a fluffy wreathed in flames on the blade.

The Super Hoskins Brothers’ Warhammers
A pair of warhammers wielded by the Super Hoskins Brothers, obviously. Their first pair of hammers was acquired on Primal Earth, stolen from Nhiz and Bhel. They later acquired a new pair of hammers, made by Mel, of adamantium and chivalrium, and augmented with shrinking tech to make them easy to carry.

A weapon made for Seth by Mel. An electric guitar with two retractable adamantium axe blades built-in. Rather heavy, though.

Robby’s Sword
An old, chipped, ordinary-looking sword owned by Constable Carter. It was with him when he was found as a baby. Despite its age, is still razor-sharp.

Reggae’s Knuckledusters
A pair of silver knuckledusters owned by Reggae. It should be self-explanatory. Potent against vampires, demons and/or werewolves when combined with Reggae’s zombie strength.

Nadia’s Crossbows
A pair of crossbows. Owned by Nadia. Seriously, it’s not that complicated. She practiced a lot during her ten year exile, and is a crack shot.

Valerie’s Laser Gun
Invented, designed, and built by Valerie. Deceptively small, but packs a serious punch. Can leave a hole the size of a basketball. Court.

Pierre’s Arm Cannons
Just two of the many cybernetic augmentations in Pierre’s body. He can turn his hands into the cannons and back at will. Pack just as much of a punch as Valerie’s laser gun.

Photonic Scythe/“Laser Scythe”
Exactly what it sounds like. A laser scythe used by Pierre, back when he operated under the alias of Reaper. He still has the scythe. The skull mask he used was given to Victor.

Photonic Blades
Laser swords created by the Nerd Squad. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Prometheus, Calvin, Nivlac, Marley and Victor each have one of the latest line of photonic blades, created by analysing the Omega Drives. Alpha’s has a blue blade, Beta’s and Nivlac’s have red ones, Gamma’s and Marley’s have green ones, Prometheus’ has a yellow one, Calvin’s has an ultraviolet one, and Victor’s has a purple one.

A pair of gauntlets made by the Nerd Squad for Victor. He named them himself. Each one has three adamantium blades inside, that can be extended by clenching his fists.

Vulcan Cannon
A weapon commissioned by Gooroo to harness the power of a Stone of Octavo, for the purpose of killing Vulcanus. He had two made and killed the inventor when he was done. Both of them were eventually destroyed.

Mr. Coffeebreak’s Knives
Adamantium knives used by Mr. Coffeebreak, painted a flat black to prevent a poorly-timed glint of light from giving him away. An old assassin’s trick, that is. How many knives he has in total is unknown.

The Hungry Rider’s Chain
The Rider’s weapon of choice. A black chain, augmented with various upgrades like a big blade.

The Sword of Vermilion
A mythical Arkaydian artifact that turned out to contain the red Stone of Octavo.

Umbra’s Sword
A black sword Fate procured for U-1999 from another timeline. Forged by an entity of pure darkness to kill gods. U-1999 never got a chance to use it, however, as the Umbra of Timeline-1989 stole his body and his weapons. For further information, see Thor: God of Thunder #2, among other Marvel comics.

Umbra’s Revolvers
A pair of revolvers Fate also procured from another timeline for his Harbinger. They can kill virtually anything. Stolen from a “redneck saint” who wasn’t happy to be robbed blind like that, but he got them back, so he can’t really complain. For further information, see Preacher.

Deaths’ Scythes
The scythes wielded by the Deaths to cut their clients’ ties to their former bodies. Sharp enough to tear the soul right out of the body without leaving a mark, though doing so is against the Rules. Some Deaths use different weapons, like the Death of Trees’ woodcutting axe, though they are no less sharp.


Chris’ Pickup Truck
Exactly what it sounds like. Chris owned this truck for a number of years, up until the fateful day of his intervention. He left the truck behind in the city, only remembering it when his taxi was almost at the farm, and by the time the taxi brought him back to the city, the truck had been stolen. Who stole it shall probably remain unknown, as with Chris dying not long after, and Leslie being preoccupied with arranging his brother’s funeral, the truck was completely forgotten about. Chris didn’t mention the truck to Leslie before getting kicked off the farm, and Leslie just assumed that Chris had taken a taxi home because he was in no condition to drive. Which was true.

The Mothership
Tommy and Maria’s rainbow VW bus. Is several decades old, runs on cooking oil, and Tommy is the only person alive who knows all the little tricks to operating it. Tommy was born and raised in the Mothership, so he presumably inherited it from his parents. The Fondas have been gifted a second car by Pierre.

Pierre’s Flying Car
Self-explanatory. Pierre designed and built it himself. Calvin described it as looking like the bastard offspring of a DeLorean and a space shuttle.

The Helios
A sleek, birdlike four-man spaceship that Pierre, Deston, and Victor used to tour the universe, back when they were the Trinity of Terra. Who occupied the fourth seat is currently unknown. Equipped to go into hyperspace.

The Wings of Time
A time machine developed by the Nerd Squad, using Jack’s intimate knowledge of time. Sleek and white, is capable of flight, hence the name, and seats up to seven.

Gizmo’s Van
A seemingly ordinary plumber’s van on the outside. On the inside, you won’t find anything used for unclogging toilets. Unless by “unclogging”, you mean “hunting”, and by “toilets”, you mean “vampires”. Gizmo souped the van up, and he used this van to drive Sonia and Hunter around Europe, to… well… hunt vampires.

The Super Hoskins’ Brothers’ Van
A seemingly ordinary plumber’s van on the outside… and also an ordinary plumber’s van on the inside. Lou also owns a pickup truck, which he couldn’t sell after reuniting with his brother, because nobody wanted to buy a pickup truck that smells of shit.

Reiner’s Car
An absolutely beat-up piece of junk that shouldn’t logically still function, but does. Big enough for Kobul to ride in. More than big enough for Gilius and Angus’ entire clan to ride in.

The Couronne
Bertrand’s throneship, and the biggest spaceship in his armada. Was destroyed by Calvin. And Umbra Two, technically.

Konba’s Spaceship
A two man spacecraft originally owned by Gooroo, that changed hands twice: first it was stolen by Scha and Duwen, which Gooroo allowed as part of his plan to screw the brothers over. After the brothers died, Konba took the ship for himself, and it is currently parked on his home planet. Had a tracking device installed, but it was removed by Scha.

Trota’s Spaceship
A ship bought from Xarri, by Trota, when the latter was sort of abducting Xanitas. Looks like a space Winnebago. While being fast, it isn’t equipped to go into hyperspace.

The Star Chariot
A celestial vehicle of unknown origin, summoned by ringing the Star Bell. Looks like a motorcycle made of starlight. Nobody on Magicca has ever seen anything like it.

The Benson
Michael Thomas’ spaceship, in which he and his fluffy Rocket explore the universe. Looks like a space Winnebago.

Project McFly
A hoverboard also designed by the US military, mostly to see if it could be done.

The Ei-Mobil
A rounded flying machine built for one, invented by Hans, and later upgraded with a number of interesting weapons, most of which he didn’t get a chance to use.

Sky Skull
A flying vehicle designed by Hans for Umbra. While Umbra possessed a Sky Skull back when he ran the Order of Darkness, he never got a chance to use it in his first three encounters with Calvin. It was destroyed with the Couronne, but Dehak created a new one.

The Gilgamesh
A massive multiverse-traversing vessel somehow acquired by M-62 and Zebediah after fleeing from Timeline-1989. Looks like a cross between a submarine and a spaceship.

The Rider’s Bike
A motorbike stolen by the Hungry Rider, and empowered by the Devourer in exchange for a few souls. Can drive itself, doesn’t need refuelling, and is a lot faster than before the Rider misappropriated it.

Electric cars for fluffies, invented by Jack for his fluffies, and later improved upon by Pierre. Now sold at Flufftopia, and Jack was generously compensated for his part in the Fluffmobile’s creation. There are variants: the Mummahmobile, for dams, and the Fluffrider, which can bounce like a regular size lowrider.


Special Huggie Friends
Fluffy sex dolls. Yes, really. Sold at Flufftopia. They have a machine for putting custom Special Huggie Friends together.

Bestest Babbeh Friends
Fake foals for fluffies who want babbehs, but would be unable to take care of real foals for [insert reason here]. For some mares, Bestest Babbeh Friends fall into the uncanny valley. Also sold at Flufftopia. Can also be custom made.

No-Foals Treats
Fluffy birth control pills, essentially. They work for up to 24 hours. A batch of the treats which permanently rendered the mare sterile were recalled when it was discovered that the treats also made the mare’s womb dissolve. This batch somehow ended up in Lilah Carrey’s hands.

Spherical lights invented by Pierre, for the purpose of illuminating the nests of feral herds. Run on solar power, can easily be rolled into or out of the nest by fluffies, and can be turned on or off with three taps of a hoof or a finger.

Fluffy Carts
Carts made by Pierre, with big wheels, designed to be easy for fluffies to push over rough terrain. Pierre initially made such a cart for the Fluffy Cartel at Tommy’s request, as part of a plan by Tommy and Blueberry to take a bad smarty to the cleaners. They are now sold at Flufftopia too.

The GameFluff
A video game console designed for fluffies, sold at Flufftopia. The controller is designed to be operated with hooves, and it uses cartridges, because those are safer and easier for fluffies to handle. The games are a mix of new games designed by Faucheuse Games (also known as Sega) and pre-existing games licenced from other studios. Particularly retro games, because their simplistic gameplay is perfect for fluffies. Namco Bandai agreed to this immediately, because they were terrified that FauCorp would buy them out too.

A virtual pet made and sold by FauCorp. There are models for both humans and fluffies. The buttons on the model for humans are too small for fluffies to operate.

Pheromone Detectors
Devices invented by Pierre for detecting fluffy pheromones, obviously. Any owner of a fluffy with Syndrome-53 was given such a detector, so they’d get a heads-up when an “episode” is imminent.


Faucheuse Drones
Drones designed by Pierre and later upgraded by Valerie. Can see through walls, have a stealth mode, and an option that immediately cuts visual and audio if a drone spots someone undressing. Bertrand would attempt to one-up his father by creating nanoscopic drones (which Vanessa would also use later on), only for Valerie to one-up him by creating picoscopic drones.

Technology invented by Pierre, that works similarly to the spell Muflys: the device projects a field, blocking anyone outside the field from hearing anything inside it. Good for having private conversations… or having sexual intercourse in a residence with thin walls without disturbing one’s housemates. Luxi also uses technology like this to keep his garden tranquil.

Devices invented by Pierre that, exactly as the name implies, suck smoke out of the air. Perfect for having a smoke wherever you please without the second-hand smoke bothering anyone. Can also replace that smoke with a wide variety of pleasing scents.

A teleportation device commonly believed to be invented by Pierre, but actually invented by Bertrand. He didn’t name them that, and neither did his father, Victor did, and the name just sort of stuck. Using them is simple: just press the button while thinking of the location you want to go to. It’s used more or less like Zum: if you’ve been to the place before, it’s easier to blip there. You can blip people or objects with you, but you need to be touching them, and there’s a limit on how much matter you can blip at one time. It works, essentially, by rearranging the universe so that you’re suddenly somewhere else. The rest of the tech in the blipper prevents all of the unpleasant side effects of this. Blippers have biometric security measures preventing anyone but the owner from using them. Your blipper can also be synced with your phone, allowing you to blip directly to anyone in your contacts, which is handy if you don’t know where they are, but not so handy if they’re somewhere you can’t teleport into. The blippers Pierre and Valerie make can’t go any further than, say, the distance between Earth and Mars, though the blipper Bertrand initially created took him into deep space and still didn’t give out. After Bertrand murdered his stepmother and fled from Earth, Pierre recovered Bertrand’s schematics of the teleportation device, and worked out all the kinks. At the cost of severely reducing the maximum traversable distance. But, considering that Pierre eliminated all of the unpleasant side effects, that tradeoff is worth it. That Bertrand survived using the original blipper at all is nothing less than a miracle.

Blipper Collars
Collars with blipper tech designed by the Nerd Squad for the ChaotiX’s fluffy members. Each collar has a list of preprogrammed coordinates (the fluffy’s home, the School, etc.) and is controlled exclusively by voice commands.

Regeneration Vats
“Put him in… the pod!” Regeneration technology invented by Valerie, upgraded by Erwin, and then upgraded again with Lumixian technology. Used by the Faucheuse Foundation to heal injured fluffies. Many former pillow fluffies owe the Foundation their gratitude. Initially took a week to restore a fluffy to full health, but after the Lumixian upgrade, it only takes a few hours. There are also vats for humanoids. Calvin’s seen the inside of a regeneration vat quite a few times by now. Ad Laun Dyz had technology like this too, called healing tanks.

Medical scanners invented by Erwin. Initially made for use on humans, but have been repurposed for use on fluffies. The Foundation uses Stahlskanners, as do FauCorp’s fluffy breeding facilities.

Power Dampeners
Devices that suppress an X-Positive’s powers, essentially rendering them a normo. There are other ways to suppress other kinds of empowered people. A gold bracelet will prevent a mage from casting magic. There are different kinds of power dampeners. Collars and bracelets have been seen so far.

Technology invented by Pierre, protecting an X-Positive user from having their powers copied by other X-Positives. Jack and Mallow both have bracelets with this technology.

Remote Bodies
One of Pierre’s inventions. Remote-controlled, highly realistic robot bodies, controlled by an implant in the real Pierre’s brain. All of them were destroyed during the Demonic Invasion. Pierre built one more before the World Revolution.

Storage tech. Think Dragon Ball. They can’t store anything that’s alive. At least, if you want the living thing to stay alive. Faucheuse-made Capsules look like black marbles, and are not sold to the public because their inability to store living matter makes them a dangerous potential murder weapon.

Coffin Capsules
Specialized capsules, shaped like silver coffins, invented by Pierre for the purpose of easy preservation, storage and transportation of dead bodies. Also not sold to the public, for the same reason as the regular Capsules.

A device invented by Pierre. Like a megaphone, but louder. Pierre invented it in the 80s, during one of Victor’s suicide frenzies. Victor wouldn’t stop asking him to invent a way for Victor to die, and Pierre needed a way to say no really loud.

The Phase Distorter/PD-94
A time machine invented by Pierre. He dismantled it on the Death of Humans’ orders, only for the Demonic Invasion and the aftermath to distract Pierre from finishing the job. In Future Quin and Marley’s timeline, Victor repaired it, having the last surviving copy of the blueprints. The Caldroid acquired the blueprints, and built its own Phase Distorter, in order to chase Quin and Marley to the past.

Flight Packs/FP-91
Technology developed by Valerie, by reverse engineering the flight tech used by Bertrand’s forces. Backpacks that grant the wearer the power of flight.

Cloaking Devices/CD-20
Technology invented by Pierre, that, as suggested, renders the user invisible. Can render the user intangible too. Don’t ask why they don’t phase through the floor. This technology is also incorporated into Faucheuse drones.

High-Jump Boots
Boots invented by Valerie and Jack that allow the wearer to jump to truly tremendous heights. If they land on their feet, the Boots will save them. Lou and Tony have a pair, as does Jack. Nice Chris, Nice James, Amy B and Glenn each have a silver-plated pair, to go with their armor.

A harness with eight tendrils, as his creator Valerie insists on calling them. Think Doctor Octopus, but twice as cool. Is fully sapient, and just as friendly as Prometheus. When the Faucheuses make an AI, it doesn’t go all “KILL ALL HUMANS.”

Tobey and Tom
A pair of waldo harnesses created by Jack and Valerie, used by Jack and Magnum. Just as sapient as Alfred.

Andrew and Josh
A pair of waldo harnesses made by Jack, for Reilly and Mayday. These two have only four waldoes, and are red and blue. Just as sapient and friendly as their eight-limbed brethren.

Calvin Impact and Marley Impact/“The Engines of Salvation”
A pair of mechas, created by the Nerd Squad at Calvin’s request. Very user-friendly, and can tap into their pilots’ power and magnify it.

Projekt Stahlkörper
An artificial body created by Hans by scamming Hitler. Originally designed to look like Hitler, as Hitler was tricked into thinking it was for him. After Hans transferred his own soul into it, he remodeled it to look like… well, not Hitler.

Projekt Ultimativerkörper
Hans’ ultimate artificial body, combining his Stahlkörper tech with his Projekt Caldroid tech. Was compatible with Omega Drives, and Fate procured a set from another timeline for Hans. Was destroyed by Erwin and Alpha.

Supercomputers designed by Hans. Each one is located in one of his backup laboratories, and each one contained a copy of his neural backup.

The Stahlnet
Hans’ personal computer network. Every backup of his mind was connected to it. Which is how they all kept up to date with everything that happened after each backup was destroyed. Every remaining copy of his mind was erased when the Hans Buster was uploaded to the Stahlnet.

Power-Limiting Rings
Four golden rings invented by Hans, intended to be used on Kirk. When worn by an X-Positive on their wrists and ankles, the rings limit their power, but, unlike the dampeners that came later, do not entirely nullify it.

Stahlkörper 2.0
A large mechanical armor, think Mega Man X, built by Erwin. He later built a second blue one for Blueberry, dubbed the Blaukörper.

Blueberry’s Stahlkörper 2.0, painted blue. Hence the name. Has blipper tech, a mechanical arm to lift Blueberry in and out, flight tech, miniguns, and is compatible with the Omega Core. So, uh, don’t fuck with Blueberry.

Temporal Stabiliser
Tech that protects the wearer from various temporal shenanigans. They can move in stopped time, retain their memories when time is rewound, and their existence is preserved in the event of retroactive destruction. Obviously, should that last one happen, it would be a very stupid idea to remove the stabiliser. The technology is not perfect, and particularly powerful chronal distortions can cause it to burn out. Ad Laun Dyz possessed similar technology, called a chronal equaliser.

Universal Translator
A device worn on the ear, that takes a big hammer to the language barrier. All spoken languages can be translated by it.

Omega Drives
Seven unstable power sources invented by Hans, by studying Adam Omega’s power. Alpha was designed to harness and stabilise their power, and Beta, Gamma and Prometheus were also modified to be compatible with them. So called because, when six of them are used together, the power output is equal to that of an Omega Class. The seventh Drive, the existence of which was initially obscured from Alpha, increases the power output even further. After various multiversal shenanigans, the ChaotiX now owns four sets.

The Omega Core
The successor to the Omega Drives, also created by Hans. Has power beyond the Drives, and was installed into the Caldroid 2.0.

The Stromnabe
A machine designed to harness a Stone of Octavo as a source of nigh-limitless electricity. Anything powered by it will glow the same color as the Stone in use.

Projekt Titanenmonarch
A massive mecha built by Hans in his own image. Intended to be his ultimate weapon in his campaign to exterminate organic life.

Wrist-mounted computers. Highly versatile. Come with visors, that can be used to scan a wide variety of things.

Rock Radar
A device invented by Pierre, and named by Victor. Can be used to track the unique energy signature of the Chicxulub fragments.

Battle Suits
Outfits designed by Pierre, as the name implies, for battle. Made of a highly durable, but not indestructible substance. Not spandex. Pierre hates it when they’re called superhero costumes, but that is essentially what they are. Each ChaotiX member who wears a battle suit has a unique color scheme.

Nano Suits
The successor to the battle suits. Made of nanomachines capable of mimicking any clothing. By using the COMPs and visors, items of clothing the user likes can be scanned and replicated, and a custom outfit can be put together.

Marley’s Nano Suit Collar
A collar designed by the Nerd Squad that also functions as a nano suit holder. If it detects Marley turning human, it will automatically suit him up, sparing everyone from having to look at his junk. That’s not really an issue when he’s in fluffy form, but many humans have hangups about human nudity. The nano suit likewise retracts automatically when Marley reverts to fluffy form, but can also be manually retracted. When this holder was initially designed, nanotechnology-based clothing for fluffies was still a work in progress. It got a bit pinchy around the no-nos…

“His” and “Hers” Power Armors
Matching suits of black power armor owned by Xavier and Susan, built by Valerie. After Valerie lost a bet with the couple, she engraved “His” and “Hers” on the respective chest plates.

Nano Armors
A combination of Valerie’s nanotechnology and armor technology. Susan and Xavier both have one. Calvin, Marley, Miles and Judy each have a nano armor with a power supply made by reverse engineering the Omega Core.

Endo-Klyn Suit
A revolutionary new nano suit created by the Nerd Squad, incorporating elements of the Klyntar and Hig, and combining nano suit and nano armor technology. Currently, only Calvin has one.

Ant-Woman Armor
A suit of power armor invented by Amanda, and later improved upon by her daughter Amy. Possesses technology that allows the wearer to shrink down. The wearer can even go subatomic, but getting out of that situation is tricky. So it’s got a regulator built-in.

Hank’s Regulator
A device worn by Hank the size-changing fluffy on one of his legs. Keeps him from going too big or small, and, when shrunken down, forces him back to normal size if it detects that he’s distressed.

Petra’s Visor
A device worn by Petra when in combat, granting her control over her petrifying gaze. When not in combat, she wears a dampener.

Omega Buster
A suit of power armor invented by the Nerd Squad, designed for combat against someone with the power of an Omega Class. Hence the name. It was designed by analyzing the Omega Drives, and possesses the same theoretically infinite power, allowing it to match that of anyone with similar power. After the World Revolution, the ChaotiX owns two Omega Busters. Two more have been built by the Nerd Squad.

The Omega Armor
Armor designed by the Gurus for Adam. Made of adamantium, has an omega symbol on the chest, and power could be diverted to it from the Mammon Machine.

Project Magnus Frater
A demonic black suit of power armor designed by the US military. The terrifying appearance was for psychological warfare, and the suit was designed to keep soldiers going in the worst conditions the battlefield could throw at them.

Hans Buster
A computer virus developed by the Nerd Squad, with input from Calvin. Once uploaded into the Ultimativerkörper, rendered it vulnerable to the trigger phrase that forces Alpha to eject his Omega Drives. Hans did not initially put that weakness in the Ultimativerkörper. From there, the Hans Buster spread throughout the Stahlnet, erasing every remaining backup of Hans’ mind. And, in the event that Hans somehow returned from the grave yet again, left several nasty surprises in the place of those backups, in case Hans attempted to restore them.

Omega Key
A key-like device invented by the Nerd Squad by studying the Omega Drives, that can open the passageways to the magical side of the universe. Omega Class X-Positives are among the few beings on either side who can open those passageways under their own power.

Power Gloves
White gloves invented by the Nerd Squad, that bestow their wearers with superhuman strength. Jack, Lou, and Tony each have a pair.

Wall-Crawling Gloves and Shoes
Another Nerd Squad invention created by analysing Reilly and Mayday’s powers. Allow the wearer to crawl on walls, obviously. And ceilings.

Project Goodfellow and Project Petticoat
Artificial genitalia invented by most of the Nerd Squad. The Goodfellows are for men, and the Petticoats are for women, respectively. Miles was banned from working on Project Goodfellow, because he couldn’t stop giggling, and Valerie and Amy handled Project Petticoat by themselves, because none of the male squad members could stop giggling. Can be used by both robots and humans alike, in case someone, say, loses his penis in an unfortunate smelting accident. There are already models for humans and fluffies.

Freezers invented by Jack, that freeze the contents in time instead of ice. You could put a freshly baked pie in one for a month and it would still be hot when you take it out.

Skin-Color Changing Technology
Technology of extraterrestrial origin, that can change the user’s skin color, exactly as the name implies. A novelty in space, albeit a wee bit controversial on Earth, but Xavier is grateful for it now that his Lumixian genes have turned his skin light blue. Not rare, remotes with this technology are given away as prizes on Vyse.

Sanchez Portal Guns
Devices invented by Rick, that create slimy green portals that can take one virtually anywhere. Rick gave one to the ChaotiX so they could reach the Citadel, not expecting Valerie to reverse engineer it.

O.M.A. Multiverse Traversal Tech
The tech O.M.A. officers use to travel across reality, invented by CQK-2. There are multiple models, looking like smartphones and blippers. The portals created by this technology are white.

Multiversal Deportation Device
A device invented by the Nerd Squad, to be used on intruders from other universes. Forces the target back to their universe of origin. Obviously, does nothing when used on people who are in their native universe. Also does nothing if the target’s native universe doesn’t exist anymore.

Zhala’s Machine
A machine commissioned by Zhala, that harnesses the power of a Chicxulub fragment to open every portal on Primal Earth.

Project Mammon/“The Mammon Machine”
A sinister machine designed and built by the Gurus, that could siphon power from Vulcanus in the Earth’s core for a wide variety of purposes, from empowering weapons to simply turning the lights on.

The Enlightener
Another machine designed by the Gurus, that forces people over Threshold X. Works on similar principles to the Mammon Machine, but on a smaller scale.

The Omega Siphon
Another of the Gurus’ inventions. Looking like an old-timey gas-powered streetlight, this device can extract, contain, and harness the power of an Omega Class.

Tower Guardians
A legion of mechanical skulls wished up by Dehak to defend the Tower of Tyranny, capable of firing weaker versions of the Tower’s Death Beams.

Reset Bomb
A one-of-a-kind weapon of unknown origin that completely and utterly removes the target from the timestream. All timelines where the target existed retroactively cease to exist. Was used by the Intergalactic Patrol to remove Ad Laun Dyz from the timestream, and undo the effects of Adam’s genocidal campaign against the Earthbound Ones and the greater universe. Adam and Kushim evaded removal simply by dodging the Reset Bomb. It would take a being of phenomenal power to undo the Reset Bomb’s effects.

The God of Destruction/“The Engine of Destruction”
The Tennebites’ god, who once almost destroyed the universe. Actually a mecha, created by the Tennebites. Scha piloted it in that long lost age, and oversaw its creation.


Magic Mirrors
Mirrors that can be used to communicate with anyone else who either has one or is near one. Magic mirrors come in many shapes and sizes, including pocket-sized mirrors that can essentially be used as cell phones. Those ones are usually enchanted to make them shatter resistant, and have a secondary enchantment: when someone is calling, the mirror will warm up, as a way of alerting the owner. It is possible to block specific individuals from contacting you via magic mirror. The upper range limit of magic mirrors is unknown, although François, who would know, says they can be used across worlds.

Bags of Holding
Bags that are enchanted to be much bigger on the inside. They still have a capacity limit, though. They’re also enchanted to be lightweight, regardless of how much stuff is in there, and can be enchanted further to only allow the owner (or anyone they grant permission) access. Because of all the runes that have to be stitched, which is slow, complicated work, bags of holding tend to be expensive. Every mage worth their salt has one, as does Calvin, Future Quin, Cecil, Edward, Jack, Victor, Achmed and Dave, and anyone in the city with a bag of holding got it from Get Sacked in the Magical Quarter. In older times, bags of holding were usually sacks, but in the modern day, they’re usually shoulder bags.

Sun Pearls
Magical pendants invented by Deston. Protect vampires from the sun, allowing them to go outside during with day without dressing in excessive layers. They still have to worry about sunburn, but they won’t burn to ash.

Moon Pearls
Also invented by Deston. Allow werewolves to keep their human minds in wolf form. There’s another way to achieve this: be as savage as a wolf regardless of form.

Bands of Merging
Bands invented by Mervin, allowing two people to merge together into a single being, with one mind. The Bands are made of chivalrium, meaning the wicked will have a hard time using them. The merger is stronger if the two participants have a strong emotional bond.

The Black Band
A band invented by Shaun, Mervin’s ex-apprentice, and essentially a heavily flawed prototype of the Bands of Merging. Enables a much more parasitic merger, granting the wearer of the band absolute control over the gestalt entity, and can be lethal to the other participant of the merger. Not made of chivalrium, because Mervin didn’t have any at the time. Shaun secretly made two of these, knowing that his master would disapprove, and allowed his master to destroy one of them, thinking it was the only one, sneaking the other one out as he was being exiled.

Ring of Allspeak/Omnitongue Ring
A magical ring that functions more or less identically to a universal translator.

Ring of Animalspeak
A magical ring that allows the wearer to converse with animals. Of course, some animals can speak Human, but they’re more common on the magical side of the universe.

Ring of Darksight
A magical ring that allows the wearer to see in the dark. Of course, many races have darksight as an innate ability.

Deston’s Draught
A magical concoction that glows purple. If drunk frequently, effectively renders the drinker ageless and immortal. Or at least, it indefinitely delays their death. A temporary side effect is making the eyes glow purple. Extremely complex to brew, and requires several rare and expensive ingredients, which is why it isn’t used by everyone. That, and it tastes terrible, and sugar renders it useless. Deston invented this formula himself.

Draught of Demonbane
An unpleasant magic elixir that prevents one from manifesting demonic powers after drinking demon blood. There’s a window, and once it closes, there’s no going back.

Potion of Femininity/Masculinity
A sex change potion, basically. While the transformation was extremely painful in older times, recent developments in magical R&D have made it a lot less painful.

The Draught of Darkness
A potion brewed by Deston and Sander using blood magic and draak essence. When Calvin drank it, it reacted to the Klyntar codex in his body (from the brief period he wielded Umbra’s black sword) and empowered Nivlac with dark abilities, due to Nivlac being the result of Calvin’s brush with vampirism, also a creation of blood magic.

The Blood Elixir
A potion invented by Archmage Vampire, that… turns someone into a vampire when drunk. He used himself as a guinea pig, and became the first vampire. Seeing as his tower was destroyed after that, and Vampire was slain ten years later, the formula has most likely been lost to time.

The Satan Sip
A hip flask filled with the blood of Old Scratch himself, strongest demon of all. Ianos himself drank Satan’s blood to become a half-demon over two thousand years ago, obtaining immense power, and safeguarded the flask ever since, hoping to eventually sire someone worthy of it. The flask itself is engraved with magic runes that preserve the contents. How Ianos got the flask and its contents is a very fascinating story, but unfortunately, also one completely devoid of fluffies. Ianos entrusted the flask to Ed shortly before Calvin arrived at Bran Castle, and Ed safeguarded it until the Three-Way War, when François stole it and drank the contents. What happened to the empty flask afterwards is unknown, but it’s hardly a one-of-a-kind magical item. Such preservation runes are commonplace. It was the contents that made the flask special.

Philosopher’s Stone
Yes, that one. The Holy Grail of alchemy, said to be able to produce the Elixir of Life and turn lead to gold, yadda yadda yadda.

Elixir of Life
Not to be confused with Deston’s Draught. A product of the Philosopher’s Stone that, if drunk once a day, renders the drinker immortal.

Homunculus Lure
A concoction invented by Eli. The smell of it draws homunculi, and drives them into a frenzy. And anyone splashed with it will be in a lot of trouble indeed.

Midas Formula
Another of Eli’s concoctions, created using the Philosopher’s Stone. Can turn any non-living matter it touches into solid gold.

Devices for detecting magical energies. Can be used to detect if someone possesses magical power, or if they’re under the effects of a spell. Deston and Erwin are both known to own a thaumometer, and Alpha is known to have one built-in.

Scrying Jammers
Magic items that protect whoever has one on them from being located with magic.

The Fluffy Mask
A magical mask, the result of the curse on Glenn being sealed. By wearing it, Glenn could revert to having the fluffy head at will. After Sander studied it, and experimented on it, he altered its function: wearing the mask transforms the wearer into a fluffy, their colors depending on what they look like in normal form. Sander has started replicating the mask and its unusual properties.

The Luggage
A sentient magical box owned by Reiner. Has lots and lots of little legs, is a lot bigger on the inside, and is absolutely loyal to Reiner. Was gifted to Reiner by an old friend of his. His counterpart owns his own Luggage, which isn’t as benevolent as Reiner’s. Deston’s theory is that the Luggage is somehow linked with its master. And because Reiner is happier than his counterpart, so is his Luggage.

The Staff of Chaos
A magical staff created by François, containing 1% of Chaos’ power. This made François more powerful than any mage. François kept the staff for over 300 years, until he finally relinquished it to Calvin. Chaos then destroyed the staff to reclaim his power, as per the terms of the deal he had once struck with François.

The Staff of Necrosis the Undying
A staff created by… well, it’s right in the name. One of the few relics to survive the destruction of Necrosis’ fortress. Is capable of reanimating the dead as zombies that retain their souls, sentience, and sanity. Pierre, Deston and Victor worked to keep the staff out of Umbra’s… hooves, hiding it in Jamaica. When Umbra finally got the staff, he had Number Two test it out on two of the locals. When nothing seemed to happen after the two died, Umbra immediately ditched the staff with the bodies. Years later, the duo rose as zombies, and brought the staff to Florida as they hunted down their killers. After a chance encounter with Henry and Carmilla, Reggae and Mortis relinquished the staff. It is now in Deston’s custody, and Necrosis, who turned out to still be unalive, wants it back.

Dehak’s Staff
A staff created by Dehak, serving as his phylactery. Dehak was trapped in the staff by François, who destroyed his original body with the Staff of Chaos, and prevented Dehak from generating a new body by permanently damaging the staff. Dehak is still capable of stealing any bodies that get too close to the staff, however, but most bodies can’t withstand having Dehak’s soul in them, and quickly decay. Not that he cares.

Mark of the Friend to Cats
Not exactly an object, but whatever. A black paw print-shaped magical mark that can be bestowed upon humans by cats. Any cat can do this, because all cats are a little bit magical. And any cat who is shown this mark will know that the human bearing it can be trusted without question. However, very few humans bear this mark, as very few humans meet felinekind’s high standards. Calvin, Edward and Panthera are among the lucky few, and their respective marks are on the backs of their hands. Incidentally, there is no such thing as a mark of a Friend to Dogs. That reason being because anyone with a dog biscuit is a Friend to Dogs.

The Triad of Force
A trio of sentient gemstones, that when brought together grant the user one wish. Each one resides in an ancient temple, and tests anyone who seeks them out.

The Lamp of Desire
A mysterious magical wish-granting artifact that the Devourer has tasked Dehak with finding. While Dehak did succeed, the Lamp was stolen from him, and he never recovered it. No, there isn’t a genie inside. What is inside is currently unknown.

Star Bell
A magical bell of unknown origin. If you are worthy, ringing it summons the Star Chariot.

CQK-9891’s Mask
A magical mask from the world that Calvin left CQK-9891 to die in. It saved him because it could tell that he’d make better use of its power than its former owner, a little imp with abandonment issues. The upper limit of the mask’s power is unknown, as is its origin, but it is sentient, malevolent, and its sense of humor is just as warped as its new owner’s. For further information, see The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask.


An incredibly strong metal. Adamantium weapons are extremely deadly, and can even wound someone as mighty as Calvin. One of the few things adamantium cannot pierce is itself. Adam Omega’s armor was made of adamantium. That was named after him too.

Chivalrium/Benevolium/“The Hero of Metals”
A magical metal, created centuries ago by the long-dead wizard Chival the Benevolent. It is also known as the Hero of Metals, due to its unusual properties: only the good can harness the full potential of chivalrium, whether they are making weapons with it or using those weapons. The evil will struggle to make so much as a nail from chivalrium, won’t be able to use a chivalrium weapon’s innate powers, and it will burn them if they don’t let go quickly. But it’s still a metal weapon, so it’s still dangerous in the wrong hands. How exactly chivalrium’s ability to discern the wielder’s morality works is unknown, as is the secret of making it. All known stores of chivalrium were created by Chival himself, and he took the secrets of chivalrium to the grave.

Multidimensional Metal
A metal that exists in multiple dimensional frequencies. Meaning ghosts can’t phase through it. The Deaths can, though. Also incredibly durable. Is extremely rare on Earth, buying Earth’s entire supply would bankrupt Pierre.

One of the heaviest metals in the known universe. Even someone as mighty as Calvin will have difficulty lifting something made of katchinium, that’s how heavy it is.

A mineral that perpetually emits a pleasant glow, and that’s about it. Only used for decorative purposes. Lumix has a lot of illuminite deposits, and genuine Lumixian handcrafted illuminite sculptures can fetch a pretty penny.

An unknown element that the Stones of Octavo are comprised of. Powerful enough to contain such phenomenal power without breaking. Little else is known about it, but it’s the perfect material to contain other immensely powerful energies.

A highly durable and breathable synthetic fabric invented by Pierre, back in his Reaper phase. Not as durable as Pierre thought it was, though. The ChaotiX battle suits are made of ReaperCloth.

An extremely durable fiberglass invented by Erwin. The dome of his Stahlkörper 2.0, and the dome of the Blaukörper are both made of Stahlglas.

Retrogressive AGgression Enhancer/R.A.G.E.
A serum developed by Hans Stahlberg in his Ivo Eierkopf guise. Those exposed to it are driven into a berserker fury, their minds overwhelmed by artificial rage. Two of the components are known: a modified version of Pheromone 53, and Component 6x3, also known as demon blood.

Anti-Deterioration Serum
A formula invented by Hans shortly after he stole Ivo’s body. When drunk regularly, it can delay the deterioration of a demon’s host body, but it can only buy so much time.

Scent Suppressant Spray
A spray invented by Pierre, that temporarily suppresses ones scent. So, exactly what it says on the tin.

Fireproofing Spray
A spray invented by Pierre, for the purpose of fireproofing objects. Such as clothes, like those worn by pyrokinetic X-Positives.

Project Black Tyranno
A serum invented by Zhala Sr.'s science division. Is, essentially, a devolution serum, with a myriad of unpleasant side effects. Zhala could have used it on the humans he despised, and let them deal with the side effects, but instead used it on himself, seeking the power of his ancestors no matter the cost. Well, dinotites are rather stupid.

A troll drug. Ammonium chloride cut with radium. Has effects similar to LSD’s effects on organics.

A chemical compound of unknown origin, which the military base in Arizona had acquired a canister of, and which bestowed Zebediah with his color change and powers.

K’kkr Ointment
A healing ointment invented by the Tennebites, made of mashed k’kkr. Because it’s a Tennebite creation, they believe it to be the best medicine in the universe, and refuse to use any medical inventions of non-Tennebite origin.

A chemical also invented by the Tennebites. When applied to the tongue, it temporarily nullifies the sense of taste. Tennebites will frequently use tongueshield when in the undesirable situation of having to eat non-Tennebite food, so they don’t have to taste the food. Even when eating food prepared by the best non-Tennebite chef in the universe, a Tennebite will still insist that it tastes like crap, simply because it wasn’t cooked by a Tennebite, but Tennebites will eagerly wolf down a meal prepared by the worst Tennebite chef and proclaim it to be the height of cuisine. Tongueshield has a number of unpleasant side effects, and extended use of it can actually erode the tongue. For some Tennebites, that’s worth not having to taste non-Tennebite food ever again.

A highly versatile substance native to Tuuni. The entire planet is, in fact, made of Ynk, as are all of the native lifeforms, who all have the innate ability to manipulate the Ynk comprising their bodies into a wide variety of humorous implements.

CARROT Serum/“Carrot Juice”
One of two serums invented by Anti-Pierre. A powerful blend of narcotics and hallucinogens, intended to leave his Victor harmlessly doped up until his talents are needed for a job. Only Victors can survive it.

The second of two serums invented by Anti-Pierre. Immediately sobers the target up, purging all intoxicants from their system. But it leaves them feeling absolutely horrible, going all the way through sobriety to knurd, and the CARROT Serum is one of the few things that could snap them out of it.


A kind of magical berry, glowing white, with various temporal properties. Ingesting raw chronoberries or essence of chronoberry induces rapid reverse aging. Essence of chronoberry is usually sold in carefully measured doses.

A kind of flower native to Primal Earth. Those who eat them are bestowed with temporary pyrokinesis. And immunity to fire. Are noted to taste spicy.

A kind of fruit native to Arkay. Like a durian, but with a better taste and worse smell.


V For Victory Bars
Protein bars invented by Pierre for Victor, and later used by Calvin and Marley too. Healing takes a lot out of them. Are sold in stores and come in multiple flavors. The chocolate flavor bars are Calvin’s favorite.

Gummy candies that were supposed to be fluffy-shaped. However, for some reason, they barely look like fluffies and come out red regardless of which color food dye is used. Fortunately, they’re still safe for consumption.

An artificial blood substitute invented by Valerie, to provide vampires with a cruelty-free source of food. Is capable of intoxicating vampires when mixed with said intoxicants, and can also be used as a substitute for donor blood. All vampires get a free supply of NuBlood, so there’s no excuse to bite necks. There is also NuBlood flavor ice cream.

Red Dragon
A drink consisting of NuBlood and tincture of cannabis. Popular among vampires.

NuBloody Mary
Like a Bloody Mary, but with NuBlood instead of tomato juice. Also popular among vampires.

Sundae NuBloody Sundae
An ice cream sundae made with NuBlood flavor ice cream. Very popular among vampiric children.

Skull Smash
A potent alcoholic beverage of Iokan invention. So called because “next day, skull feel like smash”. The exact ingredients are unknown, but it’s strong enough to get someone like Calvin extremely drunk. It is, in fact, the reason Roxie and Ronnie exist.

An extremely potent concoction distilled by June. Made of apples. Well, mostly apples. Dave distills something like this too, but his is apple juice compared to June’s.

Another potent alcoholic beverage, this one of Drakonian origin. You’d need the tolerance of a dragon to not be totally smashed from one sip.

The Golden Drink
A drink that looks like liquid gold and tastes absolutely delicious. The Grand Judge gifted Calvin and Marley with cups of this beverage that refill themselves.

Golden Chocolates
Gaudy little treats that taste just as good as the drink. The Grand Judge gifted Calvin and Marley with a plate of these that likewise refills itself.

Rock Cookies
Traditional Trollish baked goods that have very little in common with the rock cakes you may be thinking of. Only trolls, Silicoids and dwarves can really eat them.


Monster blunts rolled by Tommy, with the best weed he can get his hands on. Extremely potent, and produce so much smoke when, ah, in use that it has been mistaken for a forest fire more than once. They deserve the italics every time. Atomicas are to the average joint what a nuclear bomb is to a firecracker.

The Meme Jar
A jar used by Victor to discourage usage of memes by ChaotiX members. Every time a member is caught quoting a meme by Victor, they have to put a dollar in the jar. The success of the meme jar is mixed.

Logo Patches
Patches of the ChaotiX logo, an X in an octagon, that can easily be attached to virtually any material, and removed with equal ease whenever it is desired. Used by ChaotiX members who turned down battle suits and/or nano suits for whatever reason, so that everyone knows whose camp they’re in.

Chicxulub Fragments
Pieces of the Chicxulub impactor, the asteroid that ended the age of the dinosaurs. These fragments glow near portals to Primal Earth, and can open the portals on Primal Earth, allowing free travel between the two Earths.

The Sphere of Destruction
The God of Destruction’s prison. Was shattered into many pieces after the God was sealed inside it, the pieces scattered across the universe to prevent the horror within them from ever being unleashed again. When combined with a staff called the Key of Destruction, grants control over the God of Destruction unto the wielder.

The Omega Casket
A black coffin, capable of containing an Omega Class, or, presumably, anyone else with that kind of power. Its origin is unknown, but the Federation possessed it until the Patrol sealed Adam and Kushim inside it, and left it on Earth. It was eventually found by Hans, and remained in his possession, even after he foolishly freed its occupants. After Hans’ final death, the ChaotiX recovered it.

The Stones of Octavo
Eight octagonal gems said to have been created at the dawn of time, with unimaginable power over creation and destruction, power that can bend the fabric of reality to the wielder’s will. Three Stones are accounted for: Vulcanus gained his power from the orange one, Gooroo found the blue one on Zurae in his quest to defeat Vulcanus, and an Arkaydian brought the red one from Arkay to Earth, where it ended up in the Nazis’ hands. They never discovered what they really had. Gooroo had a hunch, and knew that the only thing that could match a Stone is another Stone.

The Chalice of Pikoti
A mythical Zurite artifact that turned out to be the hiding place of the blue Stone of Octavo.

The Weaver’s Orb
A mythical Arachnoid artifact that might possibly contain a Stone of Octavo. Many Arachnoids have sought the Orb to save their home planet, and none of them found it.

The Shining Sphere of Strength
A Saingan artifact that is definitely not a hiding place of a Stone of Octavo. It’s just a piece of illuminite in colored glass, and it has been broken and secretly replaced by multiple Saingans over the years. Konba knows this for a fact, because he is one of those Saingans who broke it.

The Grand Judge’s Button
A gold and silver button that, when pressed summons the user and anyone touching them to the Grand Judge’s Palace. Calvin is thus far the only person known to possess such a button, but he is not the first.

The Seals of Virtue/Sigillis Virtutis
Seven silver medallions, in which the Spirits of Sin were sealed away. Kept in a wooden box, with a cross and warnings in Latin in Italian carved on the lid, so they’ve been around for a long time.

Seeds of Darkness
“Eggs” spawned by the Devourer. When implanted in a living host, it feeds on their internal darkness, growing into a dark side not unlike Nivlac, or the Dark Demon. When not implanted in a host in time, a Seed develops into a Darkling instead.

Visual metaphors of one’s lifespan, used by the Deaths. Every living thing has a lifetimer, and each living thing’s lifetimer has a unique appearance, matching their own.

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