ON FLUFFIES by bbthatguy
SECTION 1: THE HISTORY OF FLUFFIES
CHAPTER 3: THE GOLDEN AGE OF FLUFFIES (PART 2)
MISINFORMATION SPREADS
In the days before fluffy help forums, many internet users spread lies to make fluffy owners unwittingly kill their pets. Of particular note is the “reset” hoax, in which a so-called “Hasbio scientist” claimed that a small electric shock to a fluffy’s head would cause a complete memory wipe and return the fluffy to its original state, perfect for those dealing with a smarty or baby-crazy mare. It was perfect. A little too perfect. Needless to say, electrocuting a fluffy does NOT reset it. Instead, it is more likely to kill the fluffy either from the pure shock or having their fluff catch fire. Several people went to social media to discourage others from making the same mistake they did, but not before hundreds of fluffies dies. The writer of the article was doxxed, and the “influencers” who reposted the original article saw their number of followers plummet.
An article from a “reputable source” claimed that Hasbio had actually had another secret lab, where a team had been developing creatures based on the seaponies and mermares from “Friendship is Magic”. The source claimed that the “aqua-fluffies” resembled overly furry seals with pony heads and that they were like fluffies in every way except that they did not have a fear of water. Despite many attempts (mostly by PETA) to locate this lab, their efforts turned up nothing.
Another myth involving fluffies was the jellenheimer. Said to be a twisted aberration from the early generations of the test ponies, jellenheimers were sleek, solid red, four-legged creatures whose face consisted of a simple smiley. They morph into their true form, a mass of tentacles laden with teeth, when consuming food, typically fluffies. The most common version of the story claims that the jellenheimers were formed in a vat and could not be terminated through the means with which Hasbio used on their failed prototype ponies. The jellens were instead sealed beneath the facility, but broke out along with the 30th generation breeders when PETA conducted their raid. Hasbro has officially and consistently denied that jellens are real but that did not stop any from claiming jellen sightings (the common theory is that people simply mistake bright red ferals for jellens). The idea of jellenheimers became so ingrained in the fluffy fandom that jellen-themed items were included in fluffy merchandise lines and jellenheimers acted as antagonists in “Uni the Unicorn”.
FLUFFMART OPENS ITS DOORS
Pet stores began selling fluffy-related items such as beds, play pens, toys etc. However, they could still not keep up with the rapidly expanding fluffy base. Noticing a gap that could be filled in the market, businessman Gerald Robinson made plans to open a fluffy-centered store.
Robinson hired several former Hasbio scientists and large-scale breeders to create and test products for fluffies. Behavior specialists also studied fluffy populations in order to better understand why certain behavioral problems (especially smarty syndrome) develop and how to prevent them. They managed to take note of fluffies’ fear of dark confined spaces and physical punishment, which provided the basis for what would eventually be called the Sorry Box and Sorry Stick. Special kibble and formula mixes were to suit fluffies’ needs (High nutrient mixes for soon-mummahs, high-calcium formula for better bone strength, fibrous kibble to prevent runny stool, etc). After a year and a half of refining their products, Robinson and his team decided it was time.
FluffMart, the first store to cater exclusively to fluffies’ and their owners’ needs, opened its doors to the public just shy of five years since the PETA raid. Boasting disciplined and trained fluffies along with a wide array of fluffy-safe items, food, toys, fluffy care/abuse guides, hugboxers, abusers, and neutralboxers alike flocked to the store in droves. In-house grooming services also made going to FluffMart appealing especially since most pet groomers did not accept fluffies on account of their tendency to defecate in fear at the sight of scissors or clippers. In time, FluffMart also added clinics to their stores as the first batch of veterinarians trained in fluffy biology graduated.
FLUFFTV BEGINS AIRING
FluffTV debuted on July 29, 2032 with a lineup consisting of “Uni the Unicorn”, “FluffTalk”, “Alleyway Fluffs”, and “BABIES!”. The airing of FluffTV cemented fluffies as a pop culture phenomenon, and viewership was as high as five million per day.
“Uni the Unicorn” quickly became the network’s flagship show. Fluffies and children would tune in to the animated series (not that the fluffies would notice), detailing the adventures of Uni, Peggy, and Eartha in the magical world of SpaghettiLand, battling the evil wizard Bozdo and his army of jellenheimers. To capitalize on its success, FluffTV tasked Acacia Biotoys with breeding “Uni the Unicorn” fluffies. Foals that met the company’s standards (type, colors, gender) were taken from their mothers and rigourously trained and conditioned to act exactly like the show’s main characters. In total, around 116 000 real-life Unis were shipped out by the holiday season.
Unfortunately, FluffTV’s beginning was not without controversy. “BABIES!” would prove to be a headache to many owners for causing mares to develop baby fever until a heavy retool was instituted to showcase a more realistic approach to fluffy parenthood, which has proven so far to be rather educational for mares and fillies. “Uni the Unicorn” also underwent a slight change after several pegasi fell to their deaths trying to copy Peggy the Pegasus.
Nonetheless, viewership remained strong, and FluffTv was praised for quickly correcting their earlier hiccups. Eventually, FluffTV CEO Jim Sanchez struck a deal to build a theme park based on FluffTV’s array of shows.
CONSTRUCTION BEGINS ON SPAGHETTILAND
Just eight years after the introduction of fluffies, and three years since the debut of “Uni the Unicorn” on FluffTV, work was already beginning on a new fluffy-centered theme park. Named “SpaghettiLand” after the magical world Uni the Unicorn inhabits, the park promised a magical experience for all fluffies (as long as their owners paid for entry).
It was a veritable paradise for fluffies. All rides would be padded to be safe for fluffies and water-proofed to ensure any “scaredy-poopies” did not seep into the seats. Acacia Biotoys provided several of their trained “Uni fluffies” to be stationed around the park for guests to interact with. Restaurants had special spaghetti in both human and fluffy-sized portions. Hotels also had playrooms for fluffies filled with toys.
SpaghettiLand opened on October 2036 to record numbers of visitors thanks to an aggressive ad campaign on FluffTV. However, not everyone was happy. Owners who could not afford the steep price of $300 a night had to deal with fluffies eager to meet their heroine in real life and have the time of their lives. Several fluffies, unable to grasp the concept of paid entry, ran away to try and go to SpaghettiLand, more often than not meeting their end a long way away from their destination.
Those that survived ended up encountering feral herds and proceeded to regale them with tales of this heaven on earth, and the myth of “SKETTIWAND” spread among fluffies throughout the nation. Several herds began a journey to paradise, joining up with even more fluffies as they came closer to SpaghettiLand.
What followed was the fall of Cleveland, which would spell the beginning of the end for the fluffy pony’s reign as man’s new best friend.