Life was wonderful, beautiful, and great.
You were a handsome stallion. You had light sandy tan fluff, with a purple mane that faded into pretty blonde tips. You had a beautiful blue mare for a special friend, and three gorgeous babbehs! Well, you had two gorgeous babbehs and one ugly, poopie babbeh. That was okay though, you used him to num your poopies.
You had been out looking for nummies when you managed to find a pretty flower nummie growing out of the sidey-walk. It was so beautiful, you had to bring it to your bestest special friend! Surely, it would help her make the bestest milkies for your bestest babbehs!
You trotted along with the flower nummies in your mouth until you turned to corner to reach the alley where your boxie-nestie was.
âSpeshuw fwen! Speshuw fwen! Wookie whuâ Daddeh founâ fo âou anâ babbehs!â
You froze when you smelled booboo juice and heard the buzzing of flies. There, on the cold asphalt, was your special friend. Torn to pieces, her tummy sketties and insides were scattered everywhere in a lake of booboo juice. The flower nummies fall from your mouth and flutter to the ground.
âS-Speshuw fwenâŚ?â
You see bits and pieces of foal limbs scattered about, dismembered eyeballs, chunks of flesh from tiny bodies. You find only the front half of your bestest babbeh. He little eyes bulging out of his skull and glazed over in a state of shock. Your poopie babbeh was nowhere to be found.
âN-Nu⌠NU! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!â
In one whole moment your entire word had turned upside down. Everything felt empty. Your life was devoid of all huggies and love. The only thing you had left was heart hurties.
You were forced the flee the alley when the wingie munstahs came. You tried to chased them off the remains of your beloved family, but despite your best efforts, the brutal pecks and scratches from the assaulting munstahs were too much for you. You trudged through the town in a numb haze, wandering from place to place for any semblance of shelter, taking refuge wherever you could during the cold, rainy nights.
Life was cruel, and you were certain you would never find love again.
Many bright times had passed. More than you could even dream to count. The hole in your heart where your family had been still ached greatly, but not as bad as it once had. You lived on the best you could. Fighting for territory, though you were often the loser and were forced to retreat. Friends came and went, often killed by the hands of the meanie humans, big vroom-vroom munstahs, or other wild animals.
Life was hard, and the downtown area was growing far too dangerous for a lone fluffy like you.
So you wandered away from the noise and big buildings, away from the busy streets and sketchy alleyways. Into the sparser neighborhoods, where there were housies and yards just like the advertised ideals your little thinky place was programmed to recognize as the ideal home. You tried to gain access to a few of these homes in hoppes of finding a new Daddeh or Mummah, only to be shooed off or chased away by barky munstahs. You were forced to scurry away from the street to avoid danger when you saw more humans walking around with their barky munstahs.
With too many heart hurties hammering in how much you were unwanted and unloved, you hid under the bushes, sneakily slinking your way along the wooden fences of the back yards. You quietly huuhuued in your lonely misery, wondering if life was even worth living at this point.
That is, until you smelled it. You followed your nose over to a wooden fence. Your ears perked up at the sound of happy laughter. You sniffed around and took another deep breath to confirm your suspicion. Mares.
Your special stick felt tingly as you felt hope swell up in your chest. If you could somehow get into that yard, maybe one of the mares would wanna be your new special friend! Oh how badly you wanted a new special friend for special huggies. Maybe, you could even have new babbehs and make a new family! Then your heart hurties would go away and you wouldnât feel so lonely anymore!
Feeling excited, you desperately search for a way into the yard. The fence was solid almost all the way around, until you found one spot, hidden behind a shed where the board was loosened and the ground was already partially dug out from the other side, as if someone or somefluff had attempted to dig their way out of the backyard. You dig, and dig, and dig. Roughly scraping your calloused hooves up trying to widen the partially made tunnel so you could finally squeeze through. It took so much work. You were panting and exhausted when you finally managed drag your body through the hole. Your fluff roughly scratched and snagged on the splintered wooden fence above you. Your face bonked against the wall of the shed when your hindquarters popped free from the hole.
Finally, you made it!
You follow the wall and sneakily make your way out from behind the shed, eyes searching for the beautiful mares you smelled. You see a couple of fluffies chatting with each other as they sit in the shade of the house, enjoying the warm summer breeze. In the yard before them, however, you see a handful of babbehs. Not just any babbehs though. You see none other than your long lost Poopie Babbeh.
You almost didnât recognize him at first, laughing, and playing with other babbehs, but when you recognized that yuckie splotch on his stupid muzzle and the same two-tone mane and tail, you knew exactly who he was. All this time. All this time you were struggling to survive alone with nothing but constant heartache and woe, and this hideous, poop-eating mongrel that you had once called your babbeh had been living it up in a nice, cool housie, filled with love, and hugs, and friends.
It wasnât fair. It wasnât fair!
You forgot all about your mission with the mares as your whole being was overwhelmed with an unfathomable rage. All you could see was the colour Red. Red and your stupid, happy, Poopie babbeh.
You charged towards him, knocking the other babbehs away and causing them to screech in terror and release loads of scaredy poopies as you shouted.
âDUMMEH POOPIE BABBEH! NU DESEWVE HAPPIES!! POOPIE BABBEH ONWY FO HUWTIES AND NUMMINâ POOPIES!!â
You kick them all again, tumbling the other two away before shoving his stupid, chubby face in a pile of their poopies. You force the poopies into his mouth, watching him choke and gag before your hoof slips off his wriggly head, allowing him to cough and breathe.
âMUMMAH!!! HEWP!! MUMMAHHH!!!â He screams. The other babbehs also scream and cry, begging for help.
âYO MUMMAH AM FOWEBAH SWEEPIES!! SHE GONE, DUMMEH!! BESTEST BABBEHS AM GONE TUU! WAI ONWY POOPIE BABBEH WIV?! POOPIE NU DESEWBE WAKIES ANâ HUGGIES ANâ WUV!! SHOUWD HAB BEEN 'OU! SHOUWD HAB BEEN 'OU!!â
You raise your hooves high and slam them down on his little fluffy body. His full, healthy, body. You hear his leg POP as he screeches in agonizing pain, wheezing from the wind being knocked out of his lungs. One more good stomp, and youâre sure youâll kill him properly.
But you donât get the chance to. Instead, youâre yanked up by the scruff of your neck, and dangled in the air.
âOWWIES! BAD UPPSIES!!â
âWHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE?!â
A dark skinned human mare with a curly, purple mane glared at you as she help you up and away from the foals. Several more fluffies surround them, taking in the situation and glaring up at you. The mares that were once lounging in the shade were now scooping up the foals and comforting them.
âDUMMEH HOOMIN WET SMAWTEH DADDEH DOWN! NEEâ GIB DUMMEH POOPIE BABBEH FOWEBA SWEEPIES!!â
âAbso-fucking-lutley not.â She says, jerking you by your mane and flicking you hard in your snout. âAnswer. Now. How did you get in?â
âOwwies! OWWIES!! Huuhuuu!!! Smawteh finâ howe in waww behinâ widdwe housie!! Owwies! Wet gu!! Wet guu!!!â
She looks over at the shed before muttering under her breath. âDammit, CharlesâŚâ
A loud screech grabs her attention, looking down at the mare panicking over your poopie babbeh. âAm sowwy babbeh! Nu mean tu gib huwties! Mummah âWetta! Babbeh weggie hav biggest huwties! Neeâ hewp!!â
The human mare clicks her tongue in anger, glaring at you and shaking her head. âI donât got time for this. Jade, donât move him, Iâll be right back.â
Youâre carried away, into the housie where the human mare brings you into a room where she pulls out a sorry box. Without hesitating or listening to your pleas, she shoves you into the box and slams the lid shut.
You sit in the dark, cramped box and cry. It wasnât fair! You didnât deserve this! Your poopie babbeh didnât deserve to have the paradise he was living! You hoped heâd die from the injuries you gave him. A slow, agonizing death was all that little poop muncher deserved! You donât know how long youâve been trapped in the sorry box. It feels like forever. at some point, you feel the box move, and you try to cry out, begging for freedom. You receive no answer. Instead you hear a doorbell ring, and a door open.
âHey, UPC, I got a delivery for you.â
âAyeeeeeeee, free snake food!â A new voice says.
The box shifts,and you suddenly tumble head over heels a few times before suddenly stopping with your body slamming hard against the floor of the box. You cry at how sore your body is.
âThanks, Loretta! I got it from here!â
The door slams shut. You box is shoved repeatedly in a direction. Before you know it, the lid of the box opens and youâre dumped out with a rough tumble. Your head hits the ground, dazing you. Thereâs a blinding light above you, making it hard to see anything beyond the light, but you see a glimpse of⌠A fluffy?
âH-Hewwo? N-Nyu fwen? Fwuffy hab huwties, nee huggies, pweeseâŚâ
âFuck no.â
That was not a fluffy. Or maybe it was? It looked like a fluffy, but at the same time, it didnât. You werenât sure what it was. The not-fluffy drags you by your tail, and the next thing you know, your leggies are trapped in metal straps. You try to wriggle free, but you canât move. You cry for your captor to release you. They simply laugh and then you hear a buzzing sound. Youâre scared, peeing in fear. The buzzing thing touches you. It doesnât hurt, but you scream anyway. It leaves you feeling cold, and then you realize⌠Itâs taking your fluff.
âNUUUUUU!!! PWEASE NUUUU!! NU TAKE PWETTY FWUFF!!! SMAWTEH NEEâ PWETTY FWUFF FOâ WAWMIES!!â
âIâm undercover here, you shitrat, I need it more than you.â The monsterâs voice says, continuing to strip you of your fluff. You continue to sob and wail, begging incoherently for your fluff and freedom. You watch from the corners of your eyes as your beautiful fluff and mane fall away with every stroke of the electric razor.
The monster leaves you cold and bare. Without your fluff, you where less than half the size you were before. Your body was so thin and angular from malnutrition, you werenât skin and bones like your poopie babbeh used to be, but you were getting there. Losing your fluff only reminded you of how small and scrawny you were. You shiver and sob, exhausted and weak from the aftermath of your adrenaline rush earlier. Youâre so caught up in your misery, you barely even register when youâre wheeled over to a glass cage and released from your binds.
âHey⌠Hey, cum drizzle.â The not-fluffy monster says, trying to get your attention.
âHuhuuuhhuuuwh-whu??â You ask, brought out of your woe momentarily. âAm⌠Am hab nyu namesie?â
â⌠You know what, yeah, youâre nameâs Cum Drizzle. You want some sketties?â
You would love to have sketties, your heart hurties were so bad, and your skin was so cold without your fluff. You didnât You didnât trust this monster, but you were so hungry.
âYeah, you bare ass shitstain, sketties. Just walk right in there, and youâll get the biggest sketti youâve ever seen in your life.â The not-fluffy promises, gesturing towards the glass cage full of mulch and dry leaves. You look at the cage, wary and unsure.
âIf you donât want sketties I can throw it away and you can starve~â
âNu! Nu thwow 'way sketties! Cum Dwizzwe will num! Wan num!!â You shout, scampering into the cage. You take a few steps in, looking towards the small bowl in the corner. Surely youâll find the sketties in there. However, the moment youâre a fully into the enclosure, the not-fluffy monster sliding the glass door shut behind you.
âHEY!â You shout, spinning around to face them. You slap your hooves against the glass as hard as you can, trying to break free.
âDid you know that Bitis gabonica, aka the Gaboon Viper, is found in the rain forests and savannas of Sub-Saharan Africa?â They ask.
You donât understand a thing they just said. âWha?! Whaâ âou tawkinâ 'bout?! Whewe am sketties?!â
âShut up! Iâm not talking to you.â The monster says. They turn their head slightly, looking at something. You follow their gaze and see⌠Nothing. Thereâs nothing there. You donât understand.
âGaboon vipers can grow up anywhere from 5 to 7 feet and weigh up to 45 lbs. More interesting is that there are no subspecies of them recognized! They are very docile, and unlikely to bite you. However, they have the largest viper fang size measured up to 5 centimeters and produce the largest venom yield of any snake.â
This monster was crazy. You shake your head is disbelief and turn away, trying to find a way out of the enclosure. You take a few steps, when a sudden pain bursts through your neck. You donât even get a chance to see it before whatever it is thatâs hurting you, begins to lift you up.
âGaboon Vipers are lazy motherfuckers too, rather than hunting their prey, they just wait for their prey to happen upon them before striking. Their usual prey consists of rodents, birds, amphibians, and rabbits! When Gaboon Vipers catch their prey, they do a maneuver called âpara-scopingâ! This is when they raise their head up and do a heckinâ perception check, meanwhile their fangs anchor into their prey as it hangs from their mouth, emptying their venom sacs to ensure a painful death!â
You can barely breathe, you feel your body seizing up, your veins feel like theyâre full of the worstest burnie-hurties! Streams of piss leak down your legs as you try and fail to struggle in the sketti-monsterâs grasp. Your heart pounds, feeling like itâs going to burst. You feel yourself choking, bloody froth begins forming in the corners of your mouth.
âThis snakeâs venom is cytotoxic and cardiotoxic. The cytotoxicity causes tissue necrosis, and the cardiotoxicity basically stops your heart and causes your muscles to cease function. In humans, a bite from a Gaboon viper causes rapid and conspicuous swellling, intense pain, severe shock, and local blistering. Other symptoms may include uncoordinated movements, defecation, urination, swelling of the tongue and eyelids, convulsions, and unconsciousness.â
You couldnât hear the monster any more. You couldnât make noise anymore. You couldnât even move, not willingly, at least. Your muscles jerked and seized painfully. Your bowels emptied under you, soaking into the mulch and leaf litter. Your body is dropped into the mess. You canât see anything anymore.
All you know is that life is hard, cruel, and unfair.
This was another continuation commission of Poopie Dreams! for the wonderful @Milly654 !!
Loretta and her fluffies belong to @UndercoverPallasCat !! Thank you for being our wonderful abuser today, and sharing with me so many fun snake facts that made researching them so much easier!
Bonus image:
