Once the HasBio scientists had determined how far the chirpie’s mental conditioning truly went, the next step was to ascertain the subjects intelligence and deductive reasoning skills. Similar to it’s replacement, the fluffy, the chirpie was altered pre-parthenogenesis, it’s mind supplanted with far more than a desire to imprint on the first human it saw. Unlike a dog, who would need to be taught over time the correlation between a word and it’s meaning, the chirpie was biologically programmed with an innate understanding of very basic terminology, such as it’s title and simple comands like come or stay. And with each generation of chirpie that was produced and experimented on, data was gathered and used to perfect the process further.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-013-INTELLIGENCE/REASONING
Within the habitat from before is a new chirpie, roughly the same age as the one prior but with light orange fluff. Drinking from a small watering station, it stops when it hears approaching footsteps. A scientist walks into frame and opens the side of the habitat, the chirpie already trying to waddle in his direction.
“*kip? *cheep *cheep *kip!”
“Stay there, chirpie…”
Clearly saddened by the instruction, the chirpie halts in its tracks, warbling sullenly as it looks toward the floor of it’s habitat. Ignoring it for the moment, the scientist places a small toy onto the metal table, a blue rubber ball, no larger than a cherry. He then walks to the middle of the table, the chirpie looking up towards him, sadly trilling as it raises a nub in the air and waves towards him. With no hint of affection, the man peers down and gives it a command as he pulls out a stopwatch and starts it with an audible click.
“Chirpie, find the toy…”
“*kip? *kip…*kip…*cheep…*cheep…*kip?”
It glances towards him, seemingly taking in his words. Standing upright, the chirpie begins to look around it’s habitat, occasionally digging through the woodchips that cover the floor. Nearly eight minutes pass before it makes its way out of the habitat, slowly trotting down the ramp and onto the metal table, wincing as it’s sensitive hooves make contact with the cold table. Seeing the tiny rubber ball, the chirpie becomes more lively, chirping and peeping excitedly as it looks up towards the scientist.
“*kip!!! *kip *kip *kip *kip!!!”
The chirpie walks towards it as fast as it’s stumpy legs allow, circling the ball a few times before looking up towards the scientist, loudly chirping and peeping. The man cllicks off the stopwatch before reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small pellet of food and holds it out in front of the chirpie.
“Very good, chirpie…”
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-028-INTELLIGENCE/REASONING
“Bad chirpie! Very bad chirpie!”
“*screeeeeee!!! *peep! *peep! *chirp!”
The scientist from before is shouting at a new chirpie with off green fluff, the terrified creature shrieking on the metal table as it hold it’s muzzle with it’s front hooves, blood trickling down it’s face. Nearby are a small collection of toys: a rubber ball, plastic stacking blocks, and a diminutive jack in the box. Still warbling anxiously, the chirpie sits on it’s haunches, it’s tiny nubs reaching in the air towards the scientist as it starts to tear up. Ignoring it, the scientist lightly raps a rolled up newspaper against the table as he instructs the sullen creature.
“Chirpie, I told you to find the ball. Show me the ball, chirpie…”
“…kip? *peep…*peep…*peep…*kip!”
Dropping it’s hooves in slight defeat, the chirpie stands upright, peering over towards the toys nearby, almost wincing as it sees them. Methodically walking over, it stares between them for a long time before placing a hoof on the small jack in the box, turning it’s head and smiling up towards the scientist.
“Wrong! Bad chirpie!”
“*screeeeeee!!!”
The chirpie screams in terror as the scientist proceeds to strike it over and over with the rolled up newspaper, the tiny creature falling over and trying to protect itself with it’s small hooves as it flails wildly.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-048-INTELLIGENCE/REASONING
The footage shifts, again on the metal table. There is a magenta fluffed chirpie sitting in it’s habitat, it’s head raised high as it tries to follow the movements of the scientist from before. He is placing several toy balls near the table’s edge, each a different color. After making sure they remain in place, the scientist walks towards the center of the table, the chirpie trilling and warbling once he is right above it.
“*kip? *cheep *cheep *peep”
“Chirpie…I want you to bring me the yellow ball…”
“*kip! *kip *kip *cheep”
Ambling out of the habitat, the chirpie begins to peep faster when it sees the toys in the distance. Once it is closer, it begins to shift it’s gaze between the balls, finally stopping on the yellow one.
“*kip!!! *cheep *cheep *cheep”
Walking around it, the chirpie begins to nudge it with it’s head, very slowly rolling it towards the habitat, having to rest several times before finally getting it up the plastic ramp and into it’s enclosure. Breathing heavily, it slumps over the ball, looking up towards the scientist with a weary smile.
“*kip! …*kip…*kip… *cheep…*kip!”
“Very good, chirpie…Now, can you get me the ball that is the same color as you?”
“*kip? …*peep…*peep…*peep…”
Visibly exhausted, the chirpie forces itself upright slowly, it’s tiny nubs shaking slightly from the effort. Peeping with each step, it makes the trip again, albeit slower this time. Once again, the chirpie looks at each ball carefully before choosing the red one, taking a deep breath before pushing it with his head, trying to get it back to the habitat. Slowing more and more, it nudges the ball once more before collapsing, it’s breathing now jagged and sharp. It’s eyes flutter as it’s head struggles to remain upright, trying to nudge the ball again and again before going unconscious.
With each new chirpie representing a small leap forward in bio-programming, it was time for the next step in the biotoys’ development: speech. The ability to verbally communicate with would be human owners. A tremendous undertaking, results were slow and arduous, with many failures paving the way to the first viable subject.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-148-ARTICULATION
The footage resumes, with the habitat removed. Instead, a chirpie genesis canister is at the table’s center. It is bulkier than before, with far more chemical vials inserted into it’s sides. Walking into frame, one of the scientists depresses the button on it’s top, with the machine shaking as the tubes drain into the silver tube one by one. Rattling against the table, the machine begins to smoke as the front of the canister opens, with a horrible, pained noise coming from within.
“*SCREEEEEEE!!! WAAAAAAA!!!”
The smoke clears and reveals a malformed chirpie, the tiny creature shrieking in agony. It’s skin is stretched tightly around it’s body and is still slightly translucent in many areas. It stumbles out of the canister as one of the offscreen scientists audibly gasps, half of it’s legs seemingly overdeveloped while the other two drag uselessly behind it. Both scientists come into frame as it runs blindly around the table in a panic, it’s opened eyes a milky white. It paces several erratic circles along the table before falling over, it’s malformed chest tremoring as it hyperventilates on it’s back, gasping for breath. It forces one deep, pained breath before it begins to spasm violently against the table, shrieking wildly.
“*SCREEEEEEE!!! WAAAAA-IIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!! WAAAAA-IIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! WAAAAAAANNN-IIIIIEEEEEEE!!! WAAAAAAANNNN-DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAAAAAAAANN-DIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!”
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-197-ARTICULATION
“And what is this, chirpie?”
“*kip? Am…am wed num-nums, da’deh! *kip! *kip!”
The scientist is standing in front of the table, with a yellow fluffed chirpie sitting on it’s haunches within the habitat. He has a hand full of pictured index cards and is currently holding one of an apple in front of the chirpie.
“This is an apple. Say apple.”
“*cheep? A…ap…apuw…”
“Good! So, tell me what this is then.”
“*kip? W…wed num-nums? *cheep?”
“No! Bad chirpie!”
“*Screeeeeee!!! *chirp! *chirp! Sow’ee! Chiwp’eh sow’ee da’deh! *cheep…*cheep…”
The chirpie screeches and tries to apologize as the scientist flicks against it’s muzzle several times. Shaking his head as he first looks down towards the whimpering creature and then off screen, the scientist puts the index cards in his coat pocket.
“Same as before. It can’t retain the information.”
Another scientist walks into frame, clipboard in hand. Still crying, the chirpie peeps sullenly until it sees the second man, becoming frantic as it stands upright and tries to waddle away screaming.
“*Screeeeeee!!! *cheep! Mun’sta!!! Chiwp’eh nee’ wun way’! *cheep! *cheep!”
As it tries to flee, the scientist grasps it by the neck and lifts it up, the chirpie flailing wildly in his hand, shrieking and uselessly trying to wiggle free. Putting the clipboard down, the man visibly grimaces as he glares at the chirpie.
"So another failure then…
Having learned all they could from The Chirpie Trials, it was time for HasBio to take that knowledge and apply it to something new. While the subjects were a scientific leap forward, the limited gestation period after their creation simply left chirpies with a brain far too limited for HasBio’s purposes. And while the Imprinting method assured that the subject would unerringly bond with a potential owner, it was ill refined, leaving the subjects too unstable around anyone else. Unlike the chirpie, the new subject would have more time to develop after parthenogenesis, thus allowing the cerebral cortex to retain more ingrained bio-programming. Compiling the data that had been all but mastered in The Chirpie Trials, HasBio scientists then created the very first fluffy.
FLUFFY TESTING: T-001-EMOTIONAL BONDING
Footage opens on the same table as before, with a smaller habitat and a what appears to be a fluffy foal with blue fluff within, it’s eyes still partially closed. Peeping as it lies near a heat lamp, it occasionally tilts it’s tiny head about, able to hear muffled speech from off camera. Walking into the shot, one of the scientists peers down towards the foal, examining it closely before nodding to someone out of focus. It’s peeping grows faster, as though it can sense that someone is near, it’s eyelids pulling and tugging before finally opening, it’s head turning upward as it glances towards the scientist.
“*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…wuv? *chirp…*chirp…*chirp…”
