Warning: spoilers for the Intergalactic Tournament Saga.
Note: obviously, read “Facility X-88” first.
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Dr. Valerie Valentine and Susan Laine-Stoley, daughters and heirs of the brilliant and now retired Dr. Pierre Faucheuse, appear in the parking lot of Facility X-88.
This is one of FauCorp’s many luxury fluffy breeding facilities, and this one breeds unusual varieties of fluffies.
Valerie has taken over Pierre’s scientific endeavours, as leader of the Nerd Squad, while Susan has taken over as CEO of FauCorp.
And if you made a Venn diagram of those two things, Facility X-88 would be smack in the middle.
So they’ll be carrying out this routine check-up of the facility together.
While they do this, we’ll be talking about some more of the unique fluffy breeds bred in Facility X-88, and the facilities like this.
AFRO FLUFFIES
It’s common knowledge that the fluffy genome contains human DNA. And the human who donated that DNA was white.
Afro fluffies are the result of engineering fluffies with DNA donated by a black human instead. Instead of manes, they have afros, and their colors tend to be brown and black. They know how to “hoofbump”.
Opinions on afro fluffies are mixed. Some black people absolutely adore them, and find them hilarious, like Andre Dibny. Others, like Roland “Rocky” Rhoades, find them to be a bit racist.
This is a bit of a sensitive subject, so let’s move on, shall we?
RASTA FLUFFIES
Rasta fluffies are bred to have specific colors of fluff: green body, red and yellow mane and tail. What color their eyes are is irrelevant.
True to their name, they have a predilection for cannabis products, making them popular with stoners.
FauCorp didn’t invent rasta fluffies. They started breeding them for a similar reason they started breeding Flag Fluffies: Victor saw someone selling them in Jamaica and was appalled by the conditions the poor things were living in.
It took everything he had to not gun the bastard down on the spot.
He waited until the bastard was alone, and there were no witnesses.
Since Marley became a superhero, rasta fluffies have become popular. Marley’s like a walking red stapler.
Apologies if you don’t get the reference.
Of course, there are also straight edge abusers, who specifically target rasta fluffies.
Not that Marley would let them get away with it.
Or Spacecake.
Or Mortis the zombie fluffy, who, in life, was a rasta fluffy named Bob.
AQUAFLUFFIES
Aquafluffies are amphibious fluffies, capable of living underwater and on dry land. They have flippers instead of hooves, and dolphin-like tails. They must immerse themselves in water frequently to survive, however. Freshwater or saltwater, as long as it’s clean.
And you’ll know if the water’s not clean, they’ll complain about the “nu taste pwetty wawas”.
They were engineered using the DNA of various aquatic lifeforms. Along with DNA donated by Splash, an X-Positive fluffy who has the power to breathe underwater.
Splash laughs at the stale meme about fluffies drowning when they see water.
You’ve probably seen fluffies like them in other headcanons, and you’re probably thinking there’s nothing unusual about them.
Not any more unusual than a regular fluffy, at any rate.
So, it may come as a surprise to learn that one of the species who donated their DNA to the aquafluffy genome is not of this Earth.
Aquafluffies were engineered for the Hydroxians, a race of amphibious fishlike humanoids, hailing from the distant planet Hydrox.
No, not the cookie.
And the Hydroxians happily donated some of their DNA.
They had fallen in love with fluffies, but unfortunately, a regular fluffy would drown in a Hydroxian’s house.
There’s a bath in every room. They sleep in baths.
Baths are a fundamental part of their culture, being an absolute necessity if they want to enjoy the perks of living on dry land. On Hydrox, a common greeting when welcoming someone to your home is “My bath is your bath.”
So, the aquafluffies were created so the Hydroxians could enjoy fluffies too. And a lot of humans have adopted aquafluffies as well, like Wallace Poole of Zephyr.
They’re popular in coastal regions.
And there’s many a fishing boat that has an aquafluffy on board now.
STONE FLUFFIES
Another fluffy created with extraterrestrial DNA. This time, Silicoid DNA.
Silicoids, or trolls if they’re born on Earth, it’s a cultural thing, are large, bulky humanoids originally hailing from Silics, whose bodies are made of metamorphorical rock. Their teeth are diamonds, their blood is liquid gold. And many of them cultivate lichen on their heads, faces, and/or bodies, as a substitute for hair.
Except the Stoneheads, a Silicoid supremacist group that deliberately forgoes the lichen.
A lot of trolls living on Earth like fluffies. Not eating them. They can’t even digest carbon-based lifeforms.
But, unfortunately, fluffies tend to be too soft for them to hug without it ending in tears.
Hence, the stone fluffies, engineered with DNA donated by Kobul, of the Warriors Four. Like trolls, stone fluffies have bodies made of metamorphorical rock, diamond teeth, liquid gold blood, and lichen as a substitute for the iconic fluff.
Flufftopia sells special kibble for stone fluffies.
It’s gravel.
But it’s very high-quality gravel, with all the nutrients a growing stone fluffy needs.
A few humans have adopted stone fluffies too, like Terrence Stone, also of Zephyr.
Incidentally, if you want your head to remain attached to your body…
Never call a troll a rock.
Never call a Silicoid that, either.
It’s like the difference between calling an African-American the N-word, and calling an African the N-word.
Valerie and Susan round out their tour, heading to the exit.
After a good year or three, the Flag Fluffy division finally succeeded in breeding Turkmenistan flag fluffies.
Now that they’ve achieved that, any other flag will be child’s play.
It’s only a matter of time until every nation on Earth has its own Flag Fluffies.
Then, maybe, they can start on flags from nations on other planets.
Fluffies are slowly but surely spreading across the universe. Since Marley participated in the Intergalactic Tournament, fluffies have become the big new trend on Lumix, and a couple of other planets.
Not Tenneb, obviously.
The Tennebites wouldn’t like fluffies unless it was a Tennebite who created them.
But that’s Tennebites for you.