John rushed through the shelter door, a sobbing Rosemary cradled in his arms. She hadn’t stopped crying since he’d picked her up in the backyard. Same as the last time I brought her here, he thought. Goddamn.
Rebekah was behind the counter, and she looked up as the door swung open. She grinned when she saw John, but the smile died as soon as she saw the sobbing Rosemary.
“Is the vet here?” John asked, his voice still laced with anger. “Please tell me the vet is here.”
Rebekah nodded. “She’s here. C’mon, follow me.” She led John back through the hallway, past the rooms full of fluffy pens, past the playrooms. The last two rooms at the end of the hall were set up for medical exams and procedures. Rebekah took John into the one on the left. A blonde-haired woman was sitting beside an exam table, reading a magazine.
“Emergency situation, Meredith,” Rebekah said as she ushered John into the room.
“I learned long ago that breaks are a luxury, anyway,” Meredith said. “Put the fluffy on the table.”
John lowered Rosemary on to the table. It was covered with blankets but it also had raised rails, like a hospital bed. He assumed that was to keep fluffies from running off when they weren’t restrained.
Meredith held her hand out to John. “Dr. Jackson.” John shook her hand.
“John Turner. This is Rosemary.” He reached down and stroked Rosemary’s mane, trying to console her. The crying didn’t stop.
Meredith reached into a jar on the counter and pulled out a couple of small treats. “Hey, Rosemary,” she said in her most soothing voice. “Would you like a sketti treat?”
Rosemary’s hooves fell from her eyes, and she looked up at the doctor. “Sk…sketti tweat? Fow Wosemawy?”
The doctor nodded. “It’ll make you feel better.” She placed the treats on the blanket in front of Rosemary. The fluffy sniffed them, choked back another bout of crying, then leaned down and ate them.
“Fanks fo tweaties, nice wady,” Rosemary said.
“You’re welcome.” Meredith turned to John. “Now, what’s going on here?”
“Ferals got into the backyard. I’m a stupid son of a bitch and I forgot to latch the door to the deck, and she decided to go out to meet them. It…it didn’t go well.”
Meredith frowned. “What happened to her?”
“I don’t know, exactly,” he sighed. “There were a couple of stallions, and I think they hit her. Maybe a lot. There was a smarty, and he…Jesus. He…assaulted her.” He looked down at Rosemary and saw that she wasn’t crying anymore. She wasn’t moving. She was fast asleep. “What the hell?”
“Sedative-laced treats. She’ll be out for fifteen, twenty minutes. I’ll look her over. Rebekah?”
Rebekah nodded and motioned toward the door. “John, let’s wait out in the lobby.”
“But Rosemary’s hurt, I need to…”
“I need to look at her in ways that would probably make you uncomfortable right now,” the doctor said quietly. “Please, wait out in the lobby.”
John nodded and followed Rebekah out. He leaned against the counter, held his hands over his face, and sighed loudly. “Jesus Christ, I’m such a fucking idiot.”
Rebekah walked over and stood next to him. “Nah. You saved her when you didn’t have to. You’ve taken really good care of her, and the second something bad happened to her you rushed her here. Now you’re freaking out. Mistakes happen, okay? Honestly, fluffies are delicate as hell. It’s a miracle that something hasn’t happened to her before now.”
He let his hands fall to his sides as he turned to look at her. “All I had to do was latch the goddamn door.”
“Have you told her that she can’t go outside without you?”
“Of course. It’s one of the rules.”
“So she broke one of your rules. Which means she knew she wasn’t supposed to be going out there, but she did it anyway. And that means your day’s going to get even worse when you get home.”
“What? Why’s that?”
“Because you have to punish her for being a bad fluffy.”
“Oh, fuck.” He knew she was right, though. Maybe not tonight, but soon. If Rosemary was okay, if she wasn’t in life-threatening danger, he was going to have to punish her. He’d never used the sorry stick or the sorry box. But now…well, if he didn’t punish her, what would happen? Would she start to break more rules? Defy him? Turn from the good, loving fluffy she was now into a horrible, entitled smarty?
Without thinking, Rebekah leaned over and hugged him. She wrapped her arms around him and, after a second of surprised hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, too. Very quietly, she whispered “I’m sorry. It’s going to be okay.”
They stood like that, in a silent embrace, until Meredith walked into the lobby and cleared her throat. They pulled away from each other quickly, embarrassed.
“So, she’s going to be okay. I did some quick x-rays, and nothing’s broken. I think the stallions who attacked her weren’t trying to do permanent damage. They probably just wanted to keep her from fighting back.”
“What about her, uh…”
“Is she pregnant?” Meredith asked. “I don’t think so. I’ll spare you all the details, but one, I don’t think the smarty was able to finish. Two, there doesn’t appear to be any damage. If you want her to have foals then she’ll still be able to. Watch her for the next few days, though. You’ll know if she’s pregnant.”
“How?” he asked.
“She won’t shut up about how she’s got ‘tummeh babbehs,’ and she’ll be babbling nonstop about how she’s going to be the best mother ever.”
“Shit. I haven’t had the baby talk with her at all. It…it just never came up. She’s never asked for babies, so I just didn’t really think about it.”
“Now’s a good time to start. If she’s not pregnant and you don’t want to deal with going down that road, you’ll need to get her fixed. Just know that getting her fixed now can lead to depression and all sorts of shit you don’t want to deal with, too. If she’s decided she wants babies and you tell her that she’s physically incapable of having them, well…”
“She’ll want to die.”
“Pretty much. Anyway, I’ve given her all her shots. Be gentle with her for the next few days and make sure she doesn’t do anything too physically demanding. Keep her quiet and immobile as much as you can. I want to see her again in a month just to make sure she’s fully recovered, no matter what happens.” She turned to Rebekah. “I’m sure you won’t mind setting another appointment up and getting him squared away for today.”
Rebekah blushed slightly. “Of…of course not.”
“Thank you. I’ll bring Rosemary to you in a couple of minutes.”
Neither of them spoke much as they set up a follow-up appointment. Rebekah was slightly embarrassed, and was hoping that she hadn’t things weird and uncomfortable with John. The bill was paid, and Meredith brought a sleepy Rosemary back to John.
“I gave her another couple of treats,” she said. “I figured you’d want a quiet ride home.”
“Thank you,” John said, taking Rosemary and cradling her in his arms. As he watched, she raised a hoof to her mouth and started sucking on it, something she hadn’t done since she was fully grown. It broke his heart a little. He knew she’d been through a lot, and this was some sort of subconscious coping mechanism to comfort herself. At the same time, he knew he was going to have to punish her, and soon. He hoped it wouldn’t cause some sort of regression; he’d read about traumatized fluffies regressing to a baby stage, where all they’d do was chirp and peep.
“I’ll see you in a month,” Rebekah said quietly. “Hey, if…if you need anything, call me. Okay?”
John smiled. A sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you. I’ll take you up on that.”
She watched as he loaded Rosemary into the passenger’s seat, then drove away.
“Got a crush, huh?” Meredith asked, a teasing tone in her voice.
“Oh, fuck off.”
===
Rosemary was drifting in and out of sleep. Why was she so sleepy all of a sudden? The nice lady in the white room had given her some nummy sketti treats, but after that everything was a blur. Now she was in daddy’s vroom-vroom monster, curled up in a blanket next to him. She wanted to talk to him but her mind was too fuzzy and her tongue felt heavy.
She knew she’d messed up. Daddy always reminded her of the rules and reminded her that breaking them would make her a bad, bad fluffy. Bad fluffies get punished! They get sorry sticks or worse. Sometimes the worst fluffies get forever sleepies! Daddy had never threatened to give her forever sleepies, but she knew that the worst fluffies got them as punishment. Rosemary didn’t want to take forever sleepies! Oh, she knew she shouldn’t have broken that rule. It was a big, big mistake. The biggest mistake. But she really wanted to meet the other fluffies, since she hadn’t seen one in forever. So many bright-times! AND THE BABIES! Maybe daddy would have understood if she’d just told him about babies.
The fluffies had been really mean, though. They’d given her sorry-hoofies and worstest hurties. Then the smarty had given her bad special huggies! Everything had been a big mistake. If only she’d gone to tell daddy before she went out into the yard then maybe the fluffies wouldn’t have hurt her. Why did they want to hurt her, anyway? She was a fluffy just like them. None of it made any sense.
“D…daddeh?” she managed to mutter loudly enough to be heard.
“Be quiet and rest, Rosemary,” daddy said. His tone was firm and his voice wasn’t as nice as it usually was. He sounded sad. Sad and mad, all at once.
“S…sowwy, daddeh.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to apologize later. Just rest now.”
Daddy sounded so, so mad. He wasn’t forgiving her. He wouldn’t say it was okay. The fluffies had given her normal hurties, but now daddy was giving her heart hurties, too. What if he didn’t love her anymore? What if he didn’t want to be her daddy anymore? Tears came back to her eyes and she cried quietly to herself, assuming the absolute worst.
Rosemary very softly cried herself back to sleep.
===
She woke up in her safe room, in her nest. The big door was closed, and Sasha wasn’t in there with her.
“Daddeh!” she shouted. “Daddeh, daddeh! Whewe am daddeh? Wosemawy am su, suuuu su sowwy!” Nothing but silence. Her kibble bowl was full and she was so, so hungry. At least she could make some of her hurties go away. She ate until she was full and drank until she couldn’t drink anymore.
Finally the big door open and her daddy walked into the room. She was so happy to see him! She jumped up and trotted over to him as fast as her sore legs would carry her.
“Daddeh! Daddeh daddeh daddeh! Wosemawy su soww…”
“Hush for a minute. Go sit down in your nest.”
“Buh daddeh, Wosemawy nee huggies an wuv an…”
“Sit. In your nest. Now.”
Rosemary had NEVER heard her daddy sound this mad when he was talking to her. Tears started dripping down her fluffy cheeks, and she choked back a sob. She waddled back to her nest and sat down, just as daddy had told her to do. She couldn’t make eye contact with him, and stared at the ground.
“What did you do wrong today, Rosemary?”
“Wosemawy…bweak wuwe.”
“What happens when you break a rule?”
“Bweak wuwe, get sowwy stick.” Quiet, defeated.
“I can’t use the sorry stick on you right now. Those fluffies beat you up, and I’m not going to hit you more than they did.”
“Daddeh nu punish Wosemawy?”
“Oh, no. You’re going to be punished. First, though. Why did you do it?”
“Wosemawy see oda fwuffies, wan be fwiends wif fwuffies! Den see smawty fwuffy, an he say Wosemawy be speshuw fwiend. Wosemawy wan speshuw huggies so Wosemawy can haf tummeh babbies. Babbies am bestest! Bestest evah! Wosemawy wan babbehs so Wosemawy be bestest mummah evah, haf bestest babbehs evah, an…”
“Okay, Jesus Christ, that’s enough. You’re not going to have babies.”
She found the strength to look up at him, her eyes wide with disappointment and sorrow. “Daddeh nu wet Wosemawy be mummah?”
“Absolutely not. I’ve got enough to deal with between you and Sasha. I don’t need a bunch of baby fluffies all over the place.”
“Nuuuu, daddeh nu haf tu waise babbehs! Babbehs nu am twoubwe! Wosemawy waise babbehs, gif bestest miwkies an huggies an wuv. Wosemawy du AWW da wowk.”
“It’s not that simple. Remember one of the other rules, Rosemary? When I say no, that’s it. No. You don’t question me. Are you breaking another rule right now?”
She felt deep down that if she could just talk to daddy about babies then he’d totally understand. But right now he was so, so mad and he wasn’t listening to her even a little bit! Plus she didn’t want to break ANOTHER rule today and be an even worse fluffy! She was already a bad fluffy. What would happen to her if she was even WORSE?
“Nu, daddeh. Wosemawy su sowwy.”
“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to think about it while you’re being punished.” He lifted her up and carried her out of the room, out into the garage. “Now I know you can’t stand really well because your legs are bruised, which means I can’t use the regular sorry box. So I’ve got this old kitten carrier that’s too small for you stand up in. It’ll do as a sorry box.”
Rosemary’s eyes opened wide. “Pwease, daddeh! Nu put Wosemawy in sowwy box!”
“I don’t want to, but this is the only way you’ll learn not to be a bad fluffy.” He pushed her into the carrier, forcing her to curl up in a ball. “I’ll leave you in here for a few hours. We’ll talk more then. I’m sorry, girl. This is for your own good.” He shut the carrier door, closed the door, and shut off the light. Rosemary was left in total darkness.
John went to watch TV, turning it up loud enough that he couldn’t hear her pleas to let her out. He knew she’d be crying and begging. He didn’t trust himself to not let her out early.
===
The carrier would have been roomy for a kitten, but for Rosemary it was barely big enough to contain her. There was no room to move at all. All she could do was curl up and scream for help.
“DADDEH!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “WOSEMAWY SOWWY! PWEASE HEWP! WOSEMAWY NU WIKE DAWKIE-TIMES! SUUUUU SCAWY”
Daddy didn’t come. She screamed and screamed as loud as she could, but daddy didn’t come and everything stayed dark and scary. Then she felt the poopies coming.
“DADDEH! WOSEMAWY NEED TU MAKE GUD POOPIES NAO! HEWP!” There was no answer. She tried to keep them in as long as she could, but eventually she felt her poopie place open up and the bad poopies spilled out. They covered her fluff and stuck there. She was sitting in her own poopies! “DADDEH!” she cried out. “WOSEMAWY NU SMEWW PWETTY! NU FEEW PWETTY! HEWP! HEWP!”
Daddy still didn’t come.
Eventually she was lying in her own poopies and peepees. The smell was horrible. She hated it. No matter how loud she screamed, though, daddy never came to help her. Finally she started sobbing uncontrollably again, assuming that daddy was never coming back. She was going to stay like this until she had forever sleepies. Maybe it was what she deserved. Maybe she really had been the worst fluffy ever.
===
Six hours later, John walked back into the garage and reeled at the smell. Rosemary had obviously repeatedly shit herself. He looked in the carrier and saw that she was breathing, but not moving.
“Rosemary?” No response.
He lifted the carrier and headed to the master bathroom, holding the carrier over the bathtub and shaking Rosemary out into the basin. He started the water flowing through the detachable showerhead. Not too cold, but not as warm as it usually was when he bathed her. First, he rinsed out the carrier. Rosemary didn’t respond at all until he slid her toward the drain and trained the water on her.
The cold water was a shock, and she screamed. “NUUUU DADDEH! WOSEMAWY SU SOWWY! COWD WAWA BAD FO WOSEMAWY!”
“Cold water is what you get as a punishment,” he said, and his tone of voice made her realize that begging and pleading wouldn’t help. She gave up and let herself be cleaned, shivering as the water flowed over her.
The filth was finally out of her fluff, and John wrapped her up in a towel and carried her back into her safe room. He set her down in the nest and crouched to look down at her.
“Now, what do you have to say for youself?”
“Wosemawy sowwy, daddeh. Wosemawy am bad fwuffy. Wowstest fwuffy. Wosemawy wiww twy su hawd tu be good fwuffy fo daddeh.”
“Will you break any rules again?”
“Nu. Wiww nu bweak wuwes.”
“Good. Next time you’re getting the sorry stick, and the actual sorry box.”
“Pwease, daddeh, nu wan sowwy boxie!”
“No more breaking the rules, and you’ll be fine.” He stood up. “You’ve got enough food left for dinner. I’m going to leave you in here for the rest of the night to think about what you did.”
“Nu pway wif daddeh? Nu huggies an snuggies an tee-bees?”
“No. No Sasha, either. She can’t come in here tonight. If you’re good all night then you can see her tomorrow morning.”
Rosemary sniffled. “O…otay, daddeh. Wosemawy sowwy.”
“I know you are, Rosemary. Think about it tonight, and be ready to be a better fluffy tomorrow.”
“Otay, daddeh.”
John closed the door and left the sniffling fluffy all alone. He sank down on the couch and sighed to himself, flipping through the channels to find a distraction. Sasha, freshly cleaned and blood-free, hopped up on the couch and curled up beside him. As he reached down and petted her, he remembered the fluffies he’d left in the backyard.
He grabbed a pair of gloves and a garbage bag and walked to the backyard. He’d have to plug the hole tomorrow, maybe getting some loose dirt from the land behind his house. For now, though, there were still two fluffies to deal with.
The red smarty was long dead. John picked him up and tossed him in the garbage bag. Then he walked over to the blue stallion. It was, surprisingly, still alive.
“Pwease,” it begged, looking up at John. “Pwease hewp fwuffy. Weggies nu wowk.”
“You don’t remember me? Really?”
“Nice mistah, fwuffy huwt suuuu, suuuu bad. Pwease hewp.”
It didn’t seem to know who he was, delirious in its pain. He reached down and picked it up. “Sure, I’ll help you. Let’s get you away from this scary yard.”
“Fank yu, nice mistAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” It screamed as John threw it over the fence, tossing it as far as he could. It landed hard, but the overwhelming shock to his system kept him from feeling the pain of bones breaking and internal organs rupturing. It sat there, sprawled out on the ground, and sobbed to itself.
“Something should be along to eat you soon, you little shitrat.” He tossed the garbage bag in the herby curby, tossed the gloves on a workbench, and went back to spend quality time with Sasha.
He loved Rosemary. He really, really did. He felt like shit for having to punish her, but he knew she’d learn bad behavior if he’d let things slide. The tough front, the cold tone of voice, had all been necessary. She had to learn that he wasn’t a total pushover. It was for her own good. And for his, too.
Everything would be fine tomorrow. Everything would be fine.