Over the next two weeks you showed more symptoms of the radiation leaking into your pantry. Your hair started falling out in chunks that you’d quickly sweep off the pillow before Yuzu saw it and you switched your shower to after breakfast so you could vomit it back up privately.
Still, she could tell something was wrong.
She often needed to wake you up in the morning, her expression a little bit more worried every time she did. You didn’t do much during the day anymore other than try to keep up with her conversation, having to ask her to repeat herself often. You caught her watching you with a more and more concerned expression every day.
You kept your work to her post-lunch nap, ripping your backpacks and camouflage jackets apart and being thankful that Mariah taught you the basics of sewing.
Finally you were done. Snipping the last thread you set your project down in front of you.
You had taken a sleeve of one of your camo jackets and cut holes in it to make a fluffy-sized vest. On the back of it you had made a small backpack with velcro flaps that Yuzu should be able to open herself. On the side was a travel shampoo bottle that you washed out to make a small canteen, the other side held a small knife with its sheath velcroed to the bag.
Just in time too, Yuzu came out from the bedroom stretching her hind legs. You shoved the backpack to the middle of the table where she wouldn’t be able to see it.
“Hey Yuzu! Sleep good?”
“Yus! Hab guud sweepie pictuwes!”
“Thats good!” You got up, stepping carefully over the puddle in the pantry and grabbing the box of special occasion foods. “I thought instead of dinner tonight we could have a fun movie night!” You pulled out a jiffy-pop pan and a few cans of soda.
“Dat sound fun!” Her green tail wagged happily as she watched you unload the snacks.
“Why don’t you go put Tangled in while I get our snacks ready?”
“Otay!” Yuzu scampered back into the bedroom to sort through the DVDs while you through the pan on the burner. It was hard to maintain the smile on your face as you prepared what may be your final meal, but Yuzu needed a happy friend. One more good day before things got hard for her.
You shook the pan as the kernels began to pop, trying your best not to burn it. This was, well and truly, a limited resource. You had a backup pan but it would be best to not need it.
Once it was done you left it on the counter to cool, returning to the pantry. You grabbed a small stack of ration bars, dense allegedly chocolate flavored things that contained all the calories and nutrients that a human would need for a day. For a fluffy they most likely had weeks worth of sustenance. You turned to leave but paused as your eyes crossed the pasta marinara backpacking meals. You set a ton of them aside when you found Yuzu, knowing they were sketti enough for her. It was a shame she didn’t know how to heat water or you would pack them too. Still, you could make one for her in the morning for breakfast. You tucked one under your arm and turned to the non-food survival supplies, grabbing a bottle of water purification tablets.
Returning to the table you loaded the ration bars into the main pocket if the tiny backpack, dumping the tablets into the side pocket.
“Mistah Petah!! Da tee-bee nu wan’ num Tangwed!!”
“I’ll be right there!” You made a split second decision to tuck a pack of poptarts on top of the ration bars. You wished you could leave her with all the snacks in the world. All the goodies she deserved.
You grabbed the popcorn and two cans of soda and went into the bedroom to start the movie.
You struggled to sleep even with Yuzu tucked under your arm sleeping off her sugar crash. When you did manage to sleep it was fitful and fleeting, filled with nonsensical dreams about sunshine and newborn foals and women reaching their hands down to help you up. You woke up before you could take her hand every time.
“Mistah Petah, am mownin! Yu nee’ nummies!!” Yuzu said, shoving her horn under your arm.
“Thanks…” You sat up, stretching.
When the memory of what you planned for the day hit you it knocked you back down onto the bed.
“… Am otay?” Yuzu asked.
“Oh yeah, just sat up too fast.” You swung your legs over the side of the bed and made a big show of getting up carefully. Yuzu still looked uncomfortable but she followed you out to the kitchen without complaint.
You started on breakfast, pouring hot water into the dehydrated pasta meal you set out the night before.
Yuzu sniffed loudly. “Am dat sketties?!”
“It sure is!”
Yuzu cheered and ran happy circles around your legs. You opened your mouth to tell her to save her strength but stopped yourself. Best to let her have a few more carefree moments.
Your timer went off and you grabbed the bag as Yuzu skidded to a stop in front of her plate. Her eyes widened as you dumped well over half of it out for her.
“Wotsa sketties!! Tank’oo!!” She dove into it, scarfing down the warm pasta as you pretended to pick at your share. Before she finished you folded the top of the bag over and taped it down.
“Aww dun!” Yuzu stepped back from her plate, you picked it up and set it by the sink. No point in dishes today.
“I have something for you, c’mere.” She let you pick her up and set her on the table next to the backpack.
Yuzu tilted her head. “Am… cwothes?”
“It’s a backpack.” You strapped it on to her, happy that your measurements were right. “Can you reach the pockets?”
Yuzu turned and opened the pockets one by one, looking curiously into them. “Wha’ am fo’?”
Your small smile slid off your face as you sighed. “Remember how I told you about the sickness outside?”
“Yus… Mistah Petah say doow stop it…” The concern was building on her face.
“Yes, the door stops it but theres-” Your throat was suddenly dry, you cleared it before continuing. “The sickness snuck in through a crack in the wall though the puddle.”
Yuzu’s wide eyes followed the puddle across the floor and up to the crack in the wall. “…Am sickies?!”
“No, just me. It doesn’t seem to affect you.”
“Buh Yuzu dwink bad wawa!!” She protested. “Mistah Petah dwink oddah wawa!!”
You shook your head. “It didn’t matter. It’s in the air, in our food. It’s been making me sick for a long time.”
“Wai… wai nu teww Yuzu?!” She slammed her marshmallow hooves into your chest as hard as she could, tears flying. “Wai wie tu Yuzu?!”
You pulled her into a tight hug as she struggled. “I wanted you to have as much happy time as you could before you had to go.”
Yuzu shook her head frantically. “Nu gu! Nu weab nice mistah, if nu can get sickies den nu weabe!”
“Yuzu, I don’t know how much longer I have. I need to open the door for you or when I die you’ll starve.”
“DEN YUZU BE HUNGWY!!” she shouted. “NU WEABE NICE MISTAH-”
“I WAS GOING TO EAT YOUR FOALS.” you shouted before you could stop yourself.
“…Wha’?” Yuzu whispered.
You couldn’t look her in the eyes as you spoke. “I… wasn’t lying about not having enough food for them, I swear. I thought back then I would live longer but… yeah. I was going to make them into soup.” You swallowed heavily. “And eventually you. I’m not a nice mister, Yuzu.”
The bunker was more silent than it ever was. You felt the wetness on your cheeks drip onto your lap. It was disgusting to you now, thinking of your only friend as a meal but it was the honest truth.
“Yuzu… Yuzu nu cawe.” There was a hoof on your arm. “Nice Mistah nu do dat.”
“Yuzu…” You cupped her face in your hands. “You’re a good fluffy. The best I’ve ever met. I can’t let you die alone in this bunker.”
“Den… Mistah Petah cum wif’ Yuzu? Pwease??”
You shook your head, even though it broke your heart. “Right now there’s only a little sickness here, when I open the door there’s going to be a lot more, so I won’t be going too far after that…”
“Den… how Yuzu get nummies?”
“I put a bunch into your backpack, in the big pocket.” You reached over her and pulled out one of the ration bars. “This is enough food to feed a human for a day, it should last you a pretty long time. Only take a bite or two a day. I made you a water bottle too, if you come across water that isn’t good to drink you can put one of those tablets in the side pocket and it’ll make the water safe. On the other side is a knife, it’s sharp so be careful with it, okay?”
Yuzu nodded as you strapped the leftover pasta onto her backpack.
“You’re a smart girl, Yuzu.” You said, wrapping your arms around her. “I wish I had more time to spend with you.”
“Yuzu wish tuu.” She said into your shoulder.
You set her on the floor and stepped up to the wall of weapons. It felt silly now, having an entire pegboard of rifles and handguns and knives. The one thing you needed to defend yourself from couldn’t be shot. You grabbed a small handgun and a single round out of the box and loaded it in.
You then turned towards the metal door. No sense in dragging things out any further. You started unlocking it, one heavy bolt at a time. You struggled with them almost as much as you did the day the bomb dropped. Some part of you worried that you may have waited too long, that your failing strength wouldn’t allow you to free Yuzu.
The last bolt slid out of place and you sighed in relief. You pulled the latch aside and pushed the door out, feeling a rush of cold air leak in around it.
The stairs going up to the surface were bathed in orange light and a thick layer of dirt. You pushed the door open the rest of the way, coughing as you stirred up the dust. Yuzu waddled out next to you, concern in her eyes.
“I’m alright. Let’s go see what’s left of the world.”
Yuzu stayed right by your side as you worked your way up the stairs, huffing and puffing. You squinted out into the relatively bright and oddly orange morning sun, shielding your eyes with your hand.
You didn’t recognize the land around you. Every house in the neighborhood was a pile of wreckage, including yours. The house behind yours was nothing more than a blackened pit, having burned at some point and fallen into its own basement. There was still sparse grass growing in your backyard, it was thin and yellowish but it grew. Yuzu would have something to eat when the rations ran out at least.
You crouched down next to her and pointed west. “If you go that way, where the sun sets at night, you should find a city. It’s a long walk but there should be food and shelter there.” That and also that’s the way the plane you saw came from, so it should be away from where the bomb dropped.
“Otay…” Yuzu sniffled softly.
You wrapped her up in one more hug. “Watch out for other humans and mean fluffies. Your backpack should help you hide.” You pulled back a little bit, hesitating. “And… I love you, Yuzu.”
“Wub yu tuu, Mista Petah. Teww babbehs Mummah wub dem.”
“I will.” You gave her one last squeeze and stood back up. “Good luck out there.”
And then you watched her waddle away into the unknown. She paused by the fence to wave at you, which you returned, and then she was gone.
You sighed and turned to what was left of your house. The upstairs had partially collapsed, but you could duck under the blasted off door and enter your relatively undamaged living room.
The picture frames had fallen from the walls and the TV was smashed on the floor, but your couch was exactly how you left it. You flopped down on it, the cloud of dust you sent up sending you into another coughing fit.
Once you’d recovered, you closed your eyes and tried to recall your dream.
A bright, sunny sky.
Green, healthy grass.
A litter of foals chasing after a butterfly.
Mariah, reaching out to you.
You reached your hand out towards her as you put the barrel of your hand gun to your head.
poor guy hope he finally comes home.