The two if you took time to recover from culling the foals. Some part of you felt guilty for what you were going to do to them and even more for not telling Yuzu the full truth. You weren’t lying about not having food for them, of course, but it wasn’t the whole truth.
But life goes on. The two of you settled back into your routine.
Breakfast.
Shower.
Dishes.
Laundry.
Board games with Yuzu.
Lunch.
Dishes.
Reading while Yuzu napped.
Dinner.
Dishes.
Movie.
Bed.
You had managed to teach Yuzu the basics of Checkers; as long as she was playing as black she more or less understood the game. She even beat you once without you intentionally throwing to keep the game fun for her.
Working your way through the books and movies you packed you tried to keep yourself entertained but it felt like all you wanted to do lately was sleep. The endless monotony was driving you mad, and so sleep was your only escape from your self-imposed imprisonment.
Sometimes you would have the most wonderful dreams, where you’d be at a family barbecue or on a hike, always outside. There are always people and sunshine and space. Sometimes you would dream of running, along country roads or city streets or vague, amorphous places that were never really anything but not your cramped bunker. You would wake expecting to see sunlight coming in the window, the news broadcast that was your usual alarm, your girlfriend stirring in the bed next to you.
And then you would wake up alone in a dark concrete box.
It was agony. You would claw wildly at the dream, try to chase it down so you could return to it before it faded away entirely. The good dreams were so much worse than any nightmare. You could soothe a nightmare by reminding yourself (or Yuzu) that it wasn’t real. The pain of a good dream was that it would never be real again. Even if you did get to leave this prison, even if there were survivors, you knew the world would never be the same as it was. Even if it wasn’t a nuclear bomb the force that rattled your bunker would have blown your town clean off the map.
Nothing would ever be the same again.
And so, almost every time you woke up, you would burst into heavy, choking sobs, fists clutching the sheets. Yuzu would wake up and hop onto the bed and worm her way into your arms. At first you pushed her away, but her hugs really did make you feel better. Eventually this led to her sleeping in the bed with you. It wasn’t a perfect solution to the empty bed feeling, but it helped.
During Yuzu’s usual post-lunch nap you were feeling a little nauseated, picking at your instant taco bowl. Maybe you were just getting sick of these instant meals, or the sodium levels were starting to get to you. You decided to leave it on the counter for Yuzu to have for dinner and grab yourself a protein bar.
As you stepped into the pantry you heard a splash. Looking down there was water spreading across the floor. You hadn’t really paid any mind to Yuzu’s puddle, it was barely even visibe when you met her. Being in a sealed box meant that any water in the air had to go somewhere, so a bit of puddling was to be expected.
This, however, was a concerning amount of water.
You stepped back, trying to figure out what to do. The water was coming from somewhere, you hoped one of your emergency water containers was leaking. It would be a pain in the ass to try to fix your water reclamation system if that was the issue instead. You had the parts and multiple books on the functions but still, it wasn’t something you’d ever done before.
And then you saw it.
In the farthest wall of the dim pantry was a thin crack in the concrete that sucked the air out of your chest. Slowly, almost robotically, you turned and started digging through one of the boxes until you found your Geiger counter.
You slowly retreated to the far corner of the shelter. Turning the device on, you winced at the immediate clicking. There was no way of knowing how accurate it was without a baseline calibration, but you weren’t worried about exact levels. You slowly walked across the room, listening to the clicks get closer and closer together as your mouth got dryer and dryer. When you got to the pantry it was practically screeching, and you shut it off before it woke up Yuzu.
Your pantry had radioactive water dribbling in for god knew how long. Probably the second the bomb went off. All of your food had been bathed in it most likely since day one, absorbing more and more with each passing minute. Your tiredness, your nausea, all the weird symptoms you were having; that was the first stages of radiation poisoning.
Stumbling backwards, you managed to land in one of the chairs. You had no idea how much time you had left, but you knew it was only a matter of time until your body started falling apart on a cellular level. The room seemed to spin.
You were dying. There was nothing you could do at this point. Even if you managed to seal the crack everything in the bunker had been bathed in dangerous levels of radiation for over a month.
You hear Yuzu stir. Wiping the anxious sweat off your forehead you picked up your book and tried to pretend everything was fine.
Yuzu waddled out from the bedroom, yawning widely as she made her way over to the pantry. You didn’t notice what she was doing until you heard her start to drink from the puddle.
“Yuzu!” You jumped out from your chair before you could stop yourself.
“Hm?” She turned to you, tainted water dripping from her chin.
You cleared your throat while you thought up a lie. “Don’t… you want some orange juice?”
“Nu tank’oo….” She squinted at you. “Am Mistah Petah otay?”
“Oh, I’m just feeling a little sick. I’m worried it might be the water, are you feeling sick at all?”
Yuzu shook her head.
“No bellyaches? Headaches? Anything that feels out of the ordinary?”
Yuzu thought for a moment before shaking her head again. “Am Mistah Petah otay?!”
“Oh, just a little nauseated, it must just be from these meals.” you lied. “We’ll break into the emergency rations for a little bit. They won’t be as good, but maybe I’ll feel better.”
Yuzu watched you for a moment with a concerned expression. “Otay, if Mistah Petah say am otay…”
“Oh yeah, it’s just a stomach ache.” you gave her what you hoped was a reassuring smile as you sat back down.
She turned back to the puddle and continued drinking as you watched. The gears began to turn in your brain.
Were fluffies immune to radiation?
It would make some sense. Fluffies were immune to lots of things; illnesses, poisons, household chemicals. You were sure there was a level of radiation where Yuzu would start getting harmed by it but for now she seemed alright.
As she waddled off to continue her nap you knew what you had to do. There was no place in the world for you anymore, but Yuzu could survive.
You grabbed your sewing kit and got to work. You had no idea how much time you had left, but you would be sure that Yuzu wouldn’t die with you.
