I haven’t stopped the “Smarties Are For Poopies” story. I just wanted to write something else too. You can think of this story as a spiritual successor to Why I Alway Carry A Sketty Flavour Spray. Also, once again credit where credits due, this story and concept is greatly inspired by Treatie-Pal by G00mi.
Russett is a small fluffy with brown fur, who right now is laying in his bed on his blanket and having a dream. A bittersweat dream, he has see plenty before.
He’s dreaming about how he met his daddeh. He was just a widdow babbeh during cold times. He was living in an alley with his mummah, bwuddas and sissies. Despite his mummahs words, he decided to go exploring, after all he was an exploring-babbeh! One night, he woke up for some reason and immediately thought of the perfect plan. He gently left the fluffpile and started slowly trotting outside the cardboard box. It was cold, though the alley didn’t let much wind in. There was a very thing layer of snow, that the babbeh didn’t really like, but he needed to spwowe! It was also scary, very scary. It was dark and the only light was from the few windows, where the light was still on. He spwowed around the cardboard box, the walls of the alley, he spwowed the ground pavement and the large green dumpster. The dumpster was of great interest to him. He spwowed all around the dumpster and even squeezed himself underneath to spwowe whats under this large green thing.
After a lot ot productive time spwowing and being a spwowin’ babbeh, he decided to climb out of underneath the dumpster. He hadn’t found anything except a decomposed leaf and a buggie friend who had gone forever sleepies. This made him sad, but he was still very pleased with the exploring. He could continue his great adventures later at some other night and it was possible for him to talk to his mummah and show that everything was alright and that she should let her babbeh spwowe! But just when he was ready to climb out, he saw something even scarier than the dark alleyway or the dead buggie friend. He saw three very loud young men enter the alleyway. They were drunk, though he couldn’t have possibly known that. They pointed, screamed and laughed.
“HEY, LOOK! There’s and entire family of shitrats here haha!”
A moment later, one of the meanie munstahs took an empty bottle and started smashing the awakening mummah and her babbehs with it. The little guy could only look on with tears in his eyes as..:
He jolted up. He hated that dream and hated his head for giving him those meanie sleepy time pictures.
“Huu huu huu miss mummah huu miss bwuddas an’ sissies huu huu”
Thankfully below the dumpster was warmer, as there wasn’t any snow and the fluff of the little babbeh barely held his warmth. After many hours hyperventilating, chirping and making scaredy-poopies and peepees at every single sound and sight, he managed to sleep a little. He had awoken in his peepees at some scary noise. Somebody had found his family and picked up the cardboard box to throw it in the dumpster. After he finally stopped shaking, he slowly made his way out and slowly made his way, through a slightly higher layer of snow, to his former home. It was now completely empty, Where once was a proud mummah, happy siblings, laughter, fluffpiles and bestest milkies… Now it was completely empty. Not even snow had taken it over yet.
The little babbeh looked at the empty spot of concrete with an empty look, he walked around and sniffed around and finally sat down on the ground and broke down in tears.
A man was summoned by his loud wailing and chirps. A munstah, surely! HUU HUU CHIRP
“Aww, you’re completely alone! Where’s your family? You lost them didn’t you. I’ll take you home, would you like that? Would you want me to be your daddeh?”
That is the only part of the memory Russett likes, he was so lucky for daddeh to find him. He now has the bestest life ever!
Then he suddenly heard noises outside his saferoom.
“YAY, DADDEH AM HOMESIE YAY YAY WUSSET AM SU HAPPIES HEHE DADDEH AM HEWE!”
He ran to the brown door, wagging his tail and jumping around in place. He could never contain himself when daddeh came home.
His daddeh opened the door and Russet immediately fell down on his butt with front legs up, ready for a huggies. They hugged and he patted him on the head.
“Huu daddeh Wusset hab ba’ dweamsie agen huu”
“Again? Oh, don’t worry. You’re safe and warm here. Daddehs here and you won’t need to worry about a thing. I’ll bet a sketty-pal will cheer you up!”
He gasped, as he did every time his daddeh gave him sketty-pals. “SKETTY PAWS YAY HEHE YAY DADDEH SKETTY PAWS WUSSET WUB SKETTY PAWS HEHE YAY”
He ran around his daddeh, wagging his tail and screaming about sketty-pals. He took out a small box in the kitchen and opened it. Out came a few of squeaks and chirps. He picked up a single sketty-pal and closed the box again and put it in the drawer.
As Russett kept running around in place and dancing in the living room with an excited face, his daddeh gave the sketty-pal a quick coating with his trusty sketty flavour spray. Meanwhile the little sketty-pal was crying, chirping and coughing and complaining about something. Something about not being nummmies…? about being just a widdow babbeh?? Asking where mummah and bwuddas are??? Sketty-pals are so silly! But that’s a part of why Russet absolutely loves them!
“Hey, Russett, calm down! Here, I’ve got your sketty-pal!”
“Sowwy daddeh, jus’ excited fo’ sketty-paw daddeh hehe!”
Daddeh placed the tiny little sketty-pal on the floor. It was chirping and crying like crazy. So fun!
“CHIRP huu nu wan be nummies huu huu wan wun an’ pway huu huu CHIRP Wheve mummah huu wan mummah huu huu CHIRP scawy scawy huu huu wai weggies gone huu huu NU WAN’ BE NUMMIES BABBEH WAN’ MUMMAH HUUHUU”
“Hehe sketty paw am su siwwy hehe wub sketty paws daddeh fankyoo hehe” He nudged the little legless nummie with his large snout. Which made the little sketty-pal chirp even more desperately.
“CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP HUU HUU BIG MUNSTAH HUU HUU SCAWY SCAWY CHIRP AM JUS’ WIDDOW BABBEH NU WAN BE NUMMIES HUU HUU MUMMAAAHH HUUHUU WAN MUMMAH CHIRP SABE BABBEH HUU HUU NU WAN FOWEBA SWEEPIES CHIRP HUUHUU”
It was so funny what the little sketty-pal was saying! He loved listening to it’s silly cries! Hehe Russett wasn’t a monster! Hehe he was daddehs little guy! Also when did nummies have mummahs? Russett had a mummah, who he very much misses… but a sketty-pal can’t have a mummah! Haha so funny!
“Hehe sketty paw am su siwwy hehe Wusset nu am munstah hehe am jus’ widdow fwuffy hehe Wusset gonna num 'ou hehe” He really loved playing with his sketty-pals. Kibble didn’t have anything on this. Kibble didn’t taste as good and didn’t move and talk so funnily!
“CHIRP CHIRP WAN’ MUMMMAAHH HUU HUU WAN GU BACK HOMESIE HUU HUU CHIRP WAN’ WUN AN’ PWAY WID BWUDDAH HUU HUU NU WAN NU WAN SCAWY SCAWY HUU HUU CHIRP PWEASE SABE BABBEH HUU HUU HUU”
The smell of sketty was beginning to overwhelm Russett and he didn’t want to play anymore. Enough fun, time for business!
“Hehe Wusset hab enuff fun hehe gubai nao sketty paw! hehe!” He gave the little nummie a short goodbye wave with his hoof and took the sketty-pal in his mouth. Some tiny sounds stil came from his mouth.
“SCREEEEEEE”
But soon he swallowed his treat and started walking to his saferoom for playtime.
Some time later daddeh got a message on his phone. His Fluffy Shrink Ray he had ordered had arrived.
“RUSSETT, DADDEH HAS TO PICK UP A PACKAGE! WANT TO COME?”
Russett will soon find out that his daddeh wasn’t as good as he thought.