Hey there. I’m a fluffy owner.
I made the mistake of not buying my fluffy from Flufftopia, instead, I bought little Topsy from some mill.
Not Doomguy Dave’s place, which is almost as good as Flufftopia, from what I hear.
Just some asshole who is as bad as Doomguy Dave used to be.
I’ve had Topsy for about a month, and things were fine until last week.
Last week, Topsy went over to the Brat Side.
And I mean full brat.
Demanding sketties, trying to break out to have babbehs, spraying sorry poopies every time she doesn’t get her way, the works.
That was another of my mistakes.
I should have bought kibble from Flufftopia, too.
Instead of buying their ÜberFluff Bestest Nummies kibble, which makes their shit more solid, I went with cheap FluffCo fluffy kibble.
Which I only recently learned contains fluffies.
Yet another mistake I made was not reading the damn list of ingredients.
So, you can imagine how bad my problem is.
Fortunately, I finally have a solution.
This morning, I went on FluffChan and asked them how to solve it, and, as several anons suggested I kill Topsy in various ways, a tripfag, Fluffy Abby, came through.
They told me that I could just reset Topsy with a taser to the brain. They told me she’s got a chip in her brain, and a quick shock would force the chip to reboot. That way, I can just force Topsy to stop being a brat.
So, I went out and bought a cheap taser and an immobilizer, and I’m about to reset her ass.
I’ve placed Topsy in the immobilizer, after squeezing her of poopies, just in case this makes her shit herself.
The immobilizer is placed on my kitchen table, which I’ve covered with old newspapers, just in case she’s got more poopies in her.
She glares up at me as I power the tazer on.
“Wut am dummeh daddeh doin? Wet Top-see gu nao! Top-see wan babbehs an sketties!”
I look down at her.
“Sorry, sweetie. But you’ve got a problem, and I need to fix it.”
I get ready to zap her. Fluffy Abby said you have to aim between the fluffy’s eyes.
“Top-see nu hab pwobwem! Dummeh daddeh hab pwobwe–”
ZZZZZAP
“ghk”
I turn off the taser.
Did it work?
I take a good look at Topsy.
She’s not dead, but she’s twitching, foaming at the mouth, and her eyes are now facing two completely different directions.
I don’t think she’s actually looking at anything anymore.
“Aw crap, did I give it too much juice? I didn’t derp you, did I sweetie?”
The only answer I get is a gurgle.
My laptop’s on the counter, so I power it up, go to FluffChan, and frantically type out a post.
Hey guys, this morning I asked if there was a way to stop my fluffy from being such a brat. Fluffy Abby told me I could reset the chip in her brain with a taser, but I think something went wrong. Topsy is completely derped now. Did I have the taser turned up too high? Fluffy Abby didn’t say how high it should be. And is there a way to fix this?
After I post, the new thread rapidly fills up with replies.
Hahahahahahahaha! You actually did it? I can’t believe anyone is that stupid! You can’t reset a fluffy, moron! There’s no chip in their brains!
lmao fail
One anon doesn’t say anything, but posts a reaction image of Pepe the Frog grinning.
Abby is short for Abuser, you fucking retard! Didn’t you know that, newfag?
Even Fluffy Abby replies.
I can’t believe you bought that shit, you stupid hugboxfag! You didn’t even second guess it before you derped its ass! All you can do now is chuck the shitrat out and get a new one. Make sure you don’t derp that one too, retard! Or do derp it. I don’t give a fuck, they’re just shitrats.
LOL!!! PWNED!!!
want us to tell you how to triforce next? all you have to do is delete system32
I slam the laptop shut in anger, and it breaks.
I just keep making mistakes, don’t I?
I turn to Topsy, still a fluffy vegetable, and sigh.
I turn on the taser, set it to max, and zap her again.
ZZZZZAP
This time, it kills her.
I sigh again, this time to myself.
“This is the last mistake I’m ever going to make.”
I’m going to Flufftopia this time.
I remove Topsy from the immobilizer, and drop her corpse and the taser into the trashcan.
In my haste, I forget to turn the taser off before I drop it in.
ZZZZZAP
fwoosh
As smoke starts billowing out of the trashcan, it sets off the smoke detector.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP
“For fuck’s sake!”
As I run to my hallway closet to grab a fire extinguisher, the fire starts spreading.
Then, as I run back into the kitchen, I remember two other mistakes I made, and I realize they’re gonna cost me.
One, I should have put the fire extinguisher in the kitchen.
And two, I shouldn’t have put the trashcan so close to the oven, because it’s a gas oven.
“Oh fu–”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
NICHOLAS FRANKLIN?
“Yes?”
YOU WERE RIGHT. THAT WAS THE LAST MISTAKE YOU EVER MADE.
just seeing what just happen to him, its almost every damn bad luck was in him.