Record Date August 20, 2008. Portland Field Office. Special Agents >Mike [redacted] and >>Gustavo (Gus) [redacted]. Interview with suspect +Ahmed Al-Nasr on charges of bioterrorism. Interview being overseen by Dept. Homeland Security and Dept. Of Justice.
>Please state your name and date of birth for the record.
+Ahmed Al-Nasr. July 14th 1976.
>Mr Al-Nasr we are here to question you about the events from August 2003 to November 2007.
+Okay.
>In August of 2003 you obtained several biotoys from the HasBio development facility near Mt Airy in Virginia is that correct?
+Biotoys? I met an animal that was a fluffy pony by the name of Andrea.
>>Fluffy ponies are not considered animals. They are bioengineered toys and are currently illegal in the US.
+Only recently though.
>You acquired bioengineered property in August 2006
+I found her in the woods. I brought her home.
>>You went to the HasBio facility nearby after. Why?
+I wanted to return the animal-
>>Biotoy.
+Biotoy to where I think she came from.
>>We have you on camera speaking to staff and you did not give them any biotoy and did not tell them that you had it.
+They were aggressively questioning me before I could tell them anything. I found out that they were exterminating the animals-
>>Biotoy.
+Jesus fuck. They were burning all the biotoys and I couldn’t give her back to be destroyed.
>Mr Al-Nasr you are aware that corporations and businesses reserve the right to destroy their own product either due to defect or poor production. Acquiring their product you are effectively admitting to larceny.
+You don’t understand she followed me.
>>In your meeting with Dr Heinrich Klaüs you gave your name as Amir Saleed. A known terrorist with ties to an Afghanistan branch of Al Qaeda. Have you even met Amir Saleed?
+What? No. It was just a random name.
>>Your family is from Pakistan. Your sister is a devout Muslim. Did you plan this heist with her?
+This is ridiculous. I demand to speak to a lawyer. Don’t touch me. [unintelligible]
>>Patriot Act says otherwise fuck-face. You sit down and answer our questions.
>Gus calm down.
>>I’m tired of playing games with this asshole. I want answers. [noises]
>Go for a walk. [noises] Ahmed. I’m just trying to piece things together here. You got the ponies. Then what?
+I didn’t steal them. I- I- They came to me. This is insane [unintelligible]
>Ok. They came to you and then what? Your friends and family come to visit and you give away a bunch ponies to them?
+She was pregnant. She gave birth to babies. It was a gift. They liked them. Thought they were cute. There were only 5 of them.
>Where did they go?
+I can’t.
>Come on. Where did the babies go?
+They went to Chicago and some to Portland. They were just gifts. Harmless pets. They went to friends.
>You then travel across state lines and the these few fluffy ponies become 10?
+She got pregnant again. Some kids wanted them. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
>They’re cute little things. I get it. My kid has one. An official one. Neutered. Vaccinated. Paperwork and all. Legal. But you see the problem? Who did you leave these ponies with in Chicago?
+People. I don’t know.
>Ahmed you have to help me out here. Who did you give the ponies to?
+I don’t remember.
>Ok then [noises]
:>>Only so far Mike. Ahmed did you collect money for handing out these stolen biotoys? No answer? Let me tell you. The IRS states you collected over $150,000 in 2003 alone. But you paid the necessary taxes so hurray for you. Have you been associated with the known terrorist organization known as PeTA?
+PeTA aren’t terrorists.
>>Not since breaking into that lab and freeing those creatures in the area. Which ain’t that bad because the mountains naturally prevent the spread of them to other areas. But you and your little Biobomb detonated into Middle America and on the other side of the Rockies way before they hit anyone’s radar. Big Problem. Did you or did you not donate $150 to PETA back in 2002?
+It was a stupid donation about testing on animals. How can this be held against me. This is stupid- [noises]
>>So you did. After you spread these diseased rats over Chicago you then dropped some more off in your home of Portland correct?
+Where is Andrea?
>>Who?
+My fluffy pony Andrea. Did you guys hurt her?
>She is part of the States evidence. she created a lot of problems Ahmed. This is why we are here. You spread an unknown organism around the US that spread into Canada and other parts of the world before we even knew what they were. Everyone likes to blame PeTA but in studying your actions we are realizing that they had the most impact worldwide. We just want to know why you did it? Did someone tell you do it? Was this revenge?
+No no one told me to do this. People just like them as pets. I didn’t know what was going to happen. This was all a misunderstanding.
>>Did you or did you not look into Hasbro stock in an internet search back in 2003? What do you have against them?
+Fuck you.
>>Let me tell you how this looks like from a judicial perspective. You just happened to support the terrorists PeTA and buy a cabin near the factory. Where you then acquire their secret product and infect the entire continent and therefore the world with a creature that decimates crops, spreads diseases, and destroys this country. These creatures become so inbred and fucked up that the company that built them can’t rein them in. You also indoctrinate a fluffy to be a Muslim for what? To be used to bomb people next? But this is a misunderstanding? Well tell your roommate Muhammad the Meatpacker hello for me in Gitmo you terrorist fuck. (Noises)
[end of interview]
Record Date April 1, 2012. Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. Interrogation Specialist [redacted]. Enhanced interrogation of terrorist Ahmed Al-Nasr (Inmate 8008135)
Interrogator: Inmate 8008135 state your name for the record.
Ahmed: Ahmed Al-Nasr.
Interrogator: Inmate you are being questioned in the bioterror incident of mass fluffy production and distribution that you have been found guilty of and are currently serving 30 years in this detention center. Your participation is mandatory and Judicially Approved Techniques are permissible to illicit the truth. I will only ask these questions once. Your nephew Habib Hassan successfully indoctrinated his fluffy pony Malak to recite words from the Quran and other formulaic phrases part of the Islamic terrorist customs.
Ahmed: That’s not how-
[interrogation technique applied]
Interrogator: Do not interrupt. This indoctrination creates a new tool for terrorists to use in potential bombings. Is your nephew part of your terrorist cell?
Ahmed: No. He was a 10 year old kid who wanted a pet. There is no evidence that a fluffy pony has even been used in a suicide bomb-
[interrogation technique applied]
Interrogator: The potential threat still exists. Is your nephew part of your terrorist cell? Or did you indoctrinate the fluffy pony?
Ahmed: No-
[interrogation technique applied]
Interrogator: Either you indoctrinated it our your nephew did. Although the fluffy in question isn’t alive any more for questioning. Your nephew is. He is no longer a minor and will have to answer for such a crime.
Ahmed: W-wait. I- I- I did it. I pushed for the fluffy to learn the phrases. It was the first step of a plan. Get them to learn basic Islam. Then poof terrorism. That’s what you want to hear right?
Interrogator: Was this all a revenge plot for your wife’s death?
Ahmed: What?
[interrogation technique applied]
Interrogator: When looking for a motive. We had your dead wife’s body exhumed. We found traces of various hydrogels and chemicals used in bioengineering that were dumped by the HasBio plant nearby your cabin. Effectively an area you and your wife liked to camp and hike at. Several toxicologists agree that this caused your wife’s cancer and eventual death. You decided to strike back at the company you saw as responsible for her death. Is this correct?
Ahmed: What the fuck? What the fuck are you saying? That Andrea was poisoned? HasBio did this?
[interrogation technique applied]
Ahmed: Ah. Wait. No. Andrea. P-please. What happened to Andrea?
Interrogator: Regardless of your answer for motive due to the current findings the Military Judge currently listening in has agreed to revoke your American citizenship and you are to be held in this facility indefinitely.
Ahmed: No. Andrea. Andrea!
[End of Recording]
Part 1: The Andrea Incident (Part 1) (Artist - Great_White_Nope)
Part 2: The Andrea Incident (part 2) (Artist- Great_White_Nope)
Part 3: The Andrea Incident (Part 3) (Artist- Great_White_Nope)
Part 4: The Andrea Incident (Part 4) (Artist- Great_White_Nope)
Part 5: The Andrea Incident (Part 5) (Artist - Great_White_Nope)
Part 6: The Andrea Incident (Part 6) (Artist- Great_White_Nope)
