The next day, I wake up to Andrea nudging my feet asking to go outside again to use the bathroom and something about her imaginary friend, I wasn’t paying too much attention as I needed my morning coffee to get me going. As the drip coffee groans and sputters, I think on the creature that was rustling through the bushes and laughing and speaking to herself.
She was a squat little thing that looked like a long-haired pig with a longer tail and thicker legs, almost as if someone decided to clothe their pet pot-belly with the skin of a plushie animal. Her face only slightly resembled that of a horse, she had a small and snubbed snout and eyes larger and forward-facing in comparison to the equine beast it was supposed to resemble. She was by all means of the word, an abomination and an affront to nature, but was so pleasing to look at and listen to that I couldn’t help but smile as she played. I felt feelings of closeness and familiarity with this small animal that I had never felt with a dog or a cat, like she understood me, not just the words I spoke to her, but who I was, a broken man with a gaping hole in his heart from a monumental loss. I could have seen Andrea with her namesake pony lounging in bed being comforted and helped as she got her bi-weekly infusions. It’s a shame that I had to return her to the facility today. I hope that these toys hit the market soon, maybe I should buy some of their stock, I think to myself.
“Andrea! Come on inside.” I shout out to her as she hobbles up the through the bushes and back into the house.
“Listen, I’m going to go find your ‘daddy’ so you can be back home with your family and friends. I will only be an hour or two, okay?”
“Ow-er?” She enunciates slowly as she tries to grasp time and its segments.
“Hmm, uh… I will be gone, not long, but before lunch.” I try to reason.
“Otay! Daddeh Awmawd be home befowe bwight tyme becum dawk-tyme”, she understood the gist of it I concluded, but also realize she was teaching me her own limits and speech patterns.
I plop Andrea down in front of the television and tell her to be good and eat only if she was hungry as I leave a large serving of leftovers along with some vegetables to balance out the meal in case I end up running later than expected. I also let her know that I’m leaving the back door open a bit to use the bathroom, but she can close it if she feels scared.
“By the way” I ask before I leave. “Does the doctor ‘daddeh’ have a name?”
She thinks for a second, “Andwea nuu shuwe, buh daddeh doctuh tawk ‘bout doctuh Kwaus… Maybe dat daddeh’s bwuddah?”
“Kwaus, Kwaus, Klaus?” I think to myself, maybe he could help me return her to the right location, safe and sound. I give her a pat and head out the door.
I pull up to the facility and noticed that there were no clear signs marking the building as belonging to the Hasbro corporation aside from a small line under the countless biohazard signs that the property belonged to “HasBio”, must be a subsidiary of the larger corporation, willing to take on the risk of bioengineering a pet horse for children everywhere. As I pull up to the gate I’m greeting by a weary security guard.
“Can I help you?” He gruffly asks.
“Hi, I live nearby, and I wanted to see if I could return one of the ponies that escaped?”
“Look pal, it’s too early for jokes. There are no horses here, this is a science factory. Do you have an appointment?” Apparently the animals must be an industry secret, or maybe he really was that dumb.
“No, I don’t have an appointment, but could I speak to one of the scientists, a Doctor Klaus?” I try to compromise.
“If you don’t have an appointment, we can’t hel…” he gets cut off by a speaker behind him.
“Let him in!” The tinny voice screeches in a thick accent.
The guard is abruptly roused erect and proceeds to raise the gate and direct me to the parking lot where I am to enter the main lobby. The building is immense and segmented with different domes joining up to the main box by tentacles of covered walkways and sky bridges. Not a single window was visible on the antiseptic white buildings except for a few exit doors and the main entrance. As I exit my car I am hit by the strong smell of burning hair and flesh, a smell I was too familiar with going into the Cancer Center with my wife, but this had a much stronger musk to it like someone was burning a wig factory.
I enter the facility and I am directed to a small waiting area by the lobby attendant. As I sit there a woman comes up and begins to ask a rapid-fire volley of probing questions about my name, where I live, who I work for, and other information that I did not feel comfortable sharing. I gave her a fake name and an old address to get her get off my back when a middle-aged bald man in thick glasses appeared from behind her and took over the interrogation.
“Who told you about de ponies?” He asked without introducing himself in a thick German accent.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I retort.
“You said you had a pony? Ve checked your vehicle und der was no such animal der…”
“You searched my car?! What kind of place is this?” I objected.
“Ve did not search your vehicle.” The man said trying to calm me down. “Ve saw no animals thru de vindows, ya?” He could see that their aggressive approach wasn’t working and was trying to smooth things over.
“I forgot my manners, I am de Doktor Klaüs you asked to see”. He said as he shook my hand. “Heinrich Klaüs, mister…?”
“Uh… Amir, Amir Saleed.” I said, giving him the fake name. “What is it that you do here?”
“I am de head of research und development, dis ist ein Biotechnologie Manufacturing companie, providing many benefits in the wunderbar field of Bioengineering. Ve have many important but secret projects here because der ist a lot of money in dis field, so ve become a little suspicious vhen someone comes here und ask quvestions.” He explained.
“Benefits? There is this horrible smell in the air, what are you burning?”
“Ah! Pay no mind! Ve are simply destroying some defective product… De smell vill be gone soon, de last batch was just incinerated…”
“Now, vhich journal you said you vorked for mister Saleed?” He asked probingly. I realized I hadn’t shaved in weeks, so my beard had grown in, making me look like some guerrilla journalist working for Vice or some independent paper.
“I don’t work for any paper, I live in the area and…”
“Did Miss Igvanovich tell you about de little schweinehunds? Hmm?” He said cutting me off. “She cannot be speaking to no one, she sign eine N.D.A. Even if you are part of one of dose dummkopf Animal Rights groups… so vhich ist it? Hmm? Animal Liberation Front? PETA?”
His eagerness was getting the better of him, he wanted answers and wasn’t getting them fast enough. But what he said earlier was still bouncing around in my head, “destroying defective product”. This was a mass industrial production of little cute and intelligent creatures like Andrea and here the team leader is treating them like molded plastic toys that could be destroyed en masse if it didn’t fit their perfect ideals. Were they destroying them for that simple speech impediment? If I returned Andrea would they destroy her too? I could never live with myself if I left her with them and she was purged with the rest.
“I’m not part of a Rights Group.” I said in defense. “I… I feel like coming here was a mistake…”
“You say you are frum ‘around here’ but your license plate ist frum Oregon State, de bastion of liberal thinkers und champions of animals everyvhere! I assure you, der are no animals here! Ve only import genetic material und tissue for research, to help people!” He was getting more heated.
“I was just curious…” I gave a weak excuse, looking to leave the conversation and the building. There is no way I going to give them anything now. Although I was not currently looking to adopt a pet, I could give Andrea a warm, friendly, and generous home to live in away from this nightmare of a factory. She is a pet designed to be cared for by children, how hard could it be?
“You curiosity ist not velcome here, Mr. Saleed! Guards, please show dis Muhammadan de exit, please!” Dr. Klaüs said as I was dismissed with a nice racial epithet at the end.
As I drove away from the facility, I noticed a white van would follow me at a distance and mimic my turns while trying to stay out of my view. I took a few extra loops to realize that I was in fact being followed. I decided to park my car at one of the Motels and walk out of the rear entrance and hike home through the woods to give them the slip. It would play into their beliefs about me being an out-of-stater looking for their industrial secrets.
I got back home much later than I anticipated from having to lose my tail, it was already dusk by the time I made it home. As I enter I notice that Andrea had blown through the extra food I left out, there were tiny hoof prints made from dirt around the kitchen and some of the living room, it looked as if she had been running outside around the house wondering where I was or perhaps amusing herself. As I enter I hear the pitter-patter of her soft hooves on the hardwood floor as she comes out of the guest room, to greet me.
“Andrea! I’m so sorry I’m late! Are you okay?”
“Andwea, wait fo’ daddeh Awmawd many fowevas, an bwight tyme almost ova.” She explained, as she had a look of worry on her face.
I hug her and stoke her mane, she nestles her muzzle between my neck and shoulder and reciprocates the hug.
“Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright.” I reassure her. “I spoke to the doctor and he said that I can be your ‘daddeh’ now.” I explain.
“Weawwy?!” She exclaims in excitement. “Mistuh Awmawd am da bestest daddeh eba! Andwea am su happies!” She started to prance about but then stopped as a look of concern and focus hit her face.
“What’s wrong Andrea? Are you hungry? Do you need to use the bathroom?” I asked as I gesture to the wide-open back door.
“Uhh… nuuu, tummeh huwties…” she started to moan.
“Are you hungry? Did you eat something outside?” I kept asking. The fluffy pony was now beginning to pant and look around for something. She waddled toward the back door and froze in the kitchen. I noticed a small trickle of urine flow down her hindquarters and puddle onto the floor, but it was colored a clear pink and reddish hue.
“Andrea are you sick?”
“Nnn… nuu… nuu sickies… b… babbehs cumin… babbehs cumin nao!”
“Wait, what?!”
Part 1: The Andrea Incident (Part 1) (Artist - Great_White_Nope)
Part 2: The Andrea Incident (part 2) (Artist- Great_White_Nope)