Your name is Poopie and you’re trying to save your bestest friend.
“Dis way nyew fwens” the deep orange mare giggled at the three of you as her thin and boney body skipped along without a care in the world, it wasn’t like your best friend was bleeding to death or anything…
“Dummeh… Nu few… Pwetty” he said before collapsing face first into the sidewalkies. You needed to keep moving him, you needed to… Then you noticed something in the distance, across the no-sidewalkie with the vroom munstahs. It was place with weird shapes everywhere and there were widdle hoomins zooming up them, zipping across them and doing a walkies on boardsies without making steps. It was like magic. Then you saw one was being put in a big white and red vroom that made scawy noises. But he left his magic board behind… An idea popped into your head and in a flash you were over there. You hadn’t even noticed that you braved the scary street until it was behind you. But you didn’t have time for that, Dummeh needed his Smarty and you weren’t going to let him down. You grabbed the abandoned board and began pulling it away while the widdle hoomins talked about their hurtie fwend.
“fuck, sorry steven, i swear i didn’t see you”
“it’s all cool bro, you get that shit on tape?”
“hells yeah boi, this shits going on YouTube pronto!”
“Sick”
They babbled on non stop, using bad wordsies yet they seemed happy about it. Hoomins were weird as far as you were concerned, especially the widdle ones.
You crossed over with the magic board and with the help of Munstah and your creepy orange friend you were able to secure him on top.
The orange mare found a string in the nearby trashies and stuck it around the bit that connected to the front wheelie thingies so you could pull him along with your mouthie. She seemed very smart, even if she never stopped smiling in a scary way.
Then you came to her home. It was by the water where big boaties would tie themselves to the wooden thingies. She brought you to an old looking building that smelt really nice, it smelled like nummies and sounded like songies and talkies and laughies inside. Her exact home was a tipped over wooden barrel with a nestie in the back, it was right next to the door behind the old building. As she sat and stared at you all she bucked hard on the door.
“whos ther-… Oh, it’s just you, what’s up?” a big hoomin with a scary red beard said.
“hewwo mista MacFwewy! Can we borrow burnie thingie fow a moment, our fwen hewe an bweeding weaw bad an he gon hab foweba sweepies ib no sabe him” she said so casually.
“oh i know how you like to play with your dinner… Ok, here” he said as he opened up his Zippo and placed it down on the ground with the flame still going. “and I’ll be back in a few, have fun my little shitrat catcher” he said before closing the door.
“otey, tuwn himb awound an howd him stiww” she said with a smile. You all did as instructed, you held Dummeh from the front. His eyes were closed, he only chirped now and his cries were getting uncomfortably quiet. Then she picked up the lighter between her hoofs and held the flame right over her speshew wump pwace. His eyes shot open, his teeth clenched and his body vibrated in the deepest of pain. He “SCREEEEEEE”'d continually until she pulled away.
“Dew, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww betta… Ya big bebbeh!” she said before blowing out the flame and putting it down.
“wiw Dummeh be awite?” Munstah asked while stroking his mane to calm his whimpers.
“him be fin, Mista MacFwewy bwing him mummies su he stay awive fow woooong timsies, hehehe, am such a gud fwuffy!” she said with no humility at all. Her self congratulations were cut short by the growling of her belly.
“oof, tummy hewties… Habe tu eat gain” she said as she walked over to her nest inside the wooden barrel. in the nestie made of paper and… Fluff, was her speshew fwend. If there were a word to describe him it would be, broken.
“hewwo hansom speshew fwend, missed yew” she said as she gave the shivering stallion a lick on the face.
He was dark green with a blue mane, his winges were covered in pin hewties, his back was coated with patches of missing fluff and sowwy stick scars, and his seeing pwaces were wide and bloodshot and a big chunk of his heawing pwace was gone. He was always shivering, always hugging his own tail.
“anyting happen when was away?” she asked.
“wan die”
“oh weawy? Dats su intewestin… Anyway, wan meet nye fwens we habin fow dinna?” she replied.
“wan die”
“otey, wew dat one is Dummeh, dat am Munstah and dis is Poopie” she said while pointing to each member of your little group.
“wan die”
“weawy? Yew wan tawk to Poopie? Otey” she added after a big gasp.
“umm, hewwo, am Poopie, du yu hab namsie?” you asked.
“wan die”
“weawy? Dats… Nu am gud namsie, awmost as bad as Poopie namsie”
“wan die”
“wowd you wike nye namsie?”
“wan die”
“nu? Otey, yew stay as wan die, dat gud enuf” you said while giving him a huggie.
“wan… die…” he said a little softer as you squeezed him.
“awwwwww dats suuuuuuu cutesy! Wub speshew fwend an Poopie Fwend!” she interrupted. Then the door opened and out came mister MacFeely with… SKETTIES!.
it was a massive plate and everyone dived in, but you made sure that Dummeh ate the biggest, more than double what you and munstah had put together, he needed it. Everyone ate their fill… Except for the orange one, she just took a mouthful, mushed it up in het mouthie and spat it into her speshew fwend’s nummie hole. He shook but he didn’t fight back. When she was done she gave his face “wicky cweanies” and then returned back to watching you eat with her big grin.
You all slept in the barrel that night as the sky wawa came down, but the orange one didn’t, she liked the sky wawa. You poked your head out and talked to her in the dawk time before the bwite time but just after the bedsie time. She talked alot about wan die and that they both had a hoomin daddeh once. He was something called a “bi-oh-en-jer-neer”. She said it was like a hoomin who does magic on fluffies. She told you that she has a name but doesn’t like it. Her name is “ZeewoZeewoWun” and then pointed to the tiny little taggie inside her hearing place with little scribbles on it. She said alot of weird things, she said that she never had a mummah, can’t eat regular nummies or she’ll get sickies and go foweva sweepies and most importantly she was a bad fluffy.
“nu mean tu, jus fews gud, wike wen fwuffies get huwties… Bu nu wike tu huwties ZewwoZewwoTu” she said before her face pulled away to look at the rain some more. “himb speshew, him nu speshew wike ZeewoZeewoWun bu stiw speshew” when wonwy in Daddeh’s wabowatowy, he aways gib best happies, himb aways wub ZeewoZeewoWun, eben ifv Daddeh make ZeewoZeewoWun du tings tu ova fwuffies. hurties, bities… Nummies".
Then it clicked in your head and fear filled you like never before.
“yew… Wan… Num… Poopie?” you whimpered as you soiled your part of the nestie.
“NU WAN TU, SIWWY. HAB TU! IFV NU NUM DEN GO FOWEBA SWEEPIES… DEN NOFWUFFY WOOK AFTA SPESHEW FWEN” she said as she turned to you. Her scary sharp smile now revealed for what it was, a big lie. Her eyes gave it away, her big, yellow, tearful eyes.
You swallowed your fear the best you could “yew an ZeewoZeewoTu wan com wiv?” you suggested.
“nu… Nu wan huwt yew an ZeewoZeewoWun pwomise dat ZeewoZeewoWun WIWW huwt yu… Eben ifv nu mean tu” she said remorsefully.
Then suddenly her see pwaces went all… Funny. “su… Hungwy…” she added before going limp, she walked all woozy before falling over and whimpering into the cold, wet floor.
You shot up and ran to her. She was dying, you knew it. “yew need to num fwuffies?” you asked.
“…y…us…” she whispered.
“den num Poopie… Wiw a widdle bit du?” you asked.
“…yu…s…” she breathed out lightly.
“den num bit ob munstah tu” your yellow twashie fwend said as she surprised you from behind.
“yew du dat tu hewp Poopie?” you asked.
“twashie fwends stay togeva, wememba?” she smiled.
You both stood still and let her bite a chunk off of your flanks. Only enough to leave a scar, but it still hurt like fwuff. Afterwards she used the buwnies to stop the booboo wawa from escaping. You both hated the buwnies and “SCEEEEE”'d into the wee hours until the pain wasn’t so unbearable.
ZeewoZeewoWun’s breathing steadied itself as she let her tummy rest and then she crawled into her nestie and rolled up next to her speshew fwend, who coo’d at her touch while he slept.
The bwite timsie came and you asked her again if she wanted to come with you, she hesitated before turning to her only emotional support.
“speshew fwend? Showd we gu?” she said as your little gang loaded Dummeh back onto the boardsie.
“wan… Die” he replied.
She turned to you with a big toothy smile. “himb say dat gud, himb wan gu see whow wide wowdsie!” she said before giving her lover the biggest huggie.
You learned that Wan Die couldn’t move, he was “kat-oh-tonik” or at least that’s what their old daddeh used to say about him before he threw him out and she pretended to be the same to go save him from the twashies. That word meant that he was stuckies in place, but he was still there, just stuckie deep inside his thinkie place. But ZeewoZeewoWun knew how to find him, she knew all the wordsies he was meaning to say when he said “wan die”, she was smart like that.
You loaded him in front of Dummeh on the boardsie, Dummeh couldn’t walk yet, he still needed time to make more boo boo wawa inside himself, he lost a lot after all. Both you and Munsta bit the stringie and pulled it behind you like a big old sled while Zewwo ran ahead to make sure the path is safe, you had told her about the Fatty mare and her homicidal herd.
It has been a rocky start but you are starting to think you can do this. Then another thinkie picture went into your head “need mowe enfie mawes fow hewd” you remember the black smarty saying… Was this your herd?
-to be continued-
