In Tommy’s cabin, in Woodstock’s saferoom, Woodstock himself sits down with five other fluffies, in a circle on the soft floor. A book is in the center of the circle.
Blueberry. Nikola. Audrey. Ms. Pac-Man. And Dig-Dug.
All six fluffies have one thing in common:
They can read.
Not very well, mind you. They’re still fluffies.
But most fluffies can’t read at all.
Woodstock looks around at the other members of the Fluffy Book Club, smiling.
The group has just finished reading the book, so now it’s time to talk about it.
Woodstock points a hoof at the book. His copy. Blueberry’s is in the Brownie Palace, and Nikola and Audrey’s copy and Ms. Pac-Man and Dig-Dug’s copy are at their respective saferooms.
While there is a saferoom at Valerie’s lab, Valerie has a second saferoom at her house. She doesn’t live in the lab, you know, even though she does spend a lot of time there. And with her blipper, moving Ms. Pac-Man and Dig-Dug from one saferoom to the other is easy.
The book is called I’m Stuck in a Video Game. Calvin recommended it to the group. On the cover, a young girl in a panda-esque costume walks through a pixellated world.
It’s one of those cases where you can judge a book by its cover.
“Su, wut did ev-wee-wun fink?”
Ms. Pac-Man smiles too.
“Wuz gud booksie. Wots of pwetty pictuwes. An Miz Pak-Man wub vid-yuh games.”
Ms. Pac-Man sighs as wistfully as a fluffy can.
“Sumtimes, Miz Pak-Man fink, it wud be nice tu wive in vid-yuh game. But da booksie shu dat dat nu am eee-zee.”
Dig-Dug cracks a grin at his sister.
“At homesie, Miz Pak-Man nu can stay away fwom da GameFwuff. Mistah Caw say, dam, Miz Pak-Man pway vid-yuh games awmos as much as mistah Caw.”
Woodstock rubs his rainbow chin with a marshmallow hoof, looking at the TV, mounted onto the wall.
“Woodstock gutta awsk daddeh if Woodstock can git wunna dose fings. It wook wike a wotta fun in da cuh-muw-shuws.”
Ms. Pac-Man nods.
“It am fun. Mummah say tu Miz Pak-Man dat mummah wan stawt a stweem wif Miz Pak-Man. Dat meen, Miz Pak-Man pway vid-yuh games, an hoomins watch fwu da innew-net.”
Blueberry giggles.
“Bwuebewwy haf seen dat, Caw shu Bwuebewwy awn Caw fone. Dewe am wotta hoomin wadies hu du dat, an dey awmos awways haf dey miwkie pwaces hangin owt. Caw say, it am becuz a wotta hoomin mistahs watchin am tuu fiwst-ee.”
Nikola tilts his head in confusion.
“If dey am fiwst-ee, why dey nu jus git a dwinkie?”
Blueberry giggles again.
“Nu dat kinna fiwst-ee, Nikowa. It meen, dem mistahs wike wookin at hoomin wady miwkie pwaces, es-spesh-uh-wee if dey am big miwkie pwaces, an dey gib wots of muh-nees to dem wadies if dey pwetty an haf big miwkie pwaces. Dey fink da wadies wiww gib dem speciaw huggies if dey gib wadies muh-nees. Kinna dummeh, weawwy.”
All of the fluffies speak as one.
“Hoomins.”
Woodstock smiles like a Buddhist monk. Woodstock is as close to spiritual enlightenment as a fluffy can get.
“Woodstock knu dat fwuffies haf a wep-yu-tay-shun fow wike-in speciaw huggies, but hoomins nu can tawkies, cuz fwuffies nu du dat kinna fing.”
The fluffies all laugh.
“Vic wuns teww Bwuebewwy dat dewe am a wotta pown awn da innew-net. Pown am foh-tohs an vid-eee-yohs of hoomins duin speciaw huggies. Su Bwuebewwy see Woodstock point.”
“Awdwey nu unnewstan wai hoomins wud jus watch speciaw huggies. Wai dey nu awsk anudda hoomin if dey wan du speciaw huggies tugeva?”
Blueberry gives Audrey, named after Pierre and Deston’s mother, a knowing look.
“Becuz it nu am dat ee-zee fow hoomins. Wen fwuffies du dat, am jus fwuffies bein fwuffies. Wen hoomins du dat, am secks-yu-aw hah-wass-ment. It make hoomins weawwy un-come-fow-tab-uw. Weww, hoomins fwom dis wowwd. Awn Pwimaw Uwf, dey nu haf pwobwem wif dat. Dey du speciaw huggies aww da time.”
Nikola looks up at a photo on the wall, of Tommy, Pierre and Woodstock on Primal Earth, posing as the Iokans, in the background, skin a diplodocus the hunters had just brought in.
“Mebbeh dem fiwst-ee mistahs shud jus gu tu Pwimaw Uwf.”
The fluffies all laugh again.
Woodstock points at the book again.
“Woodstock fink we am gettin awf-topik. We am hewe tu tawkies abowt booksie, nu abowt speciaw huggies.”
The other fluffies reply in unison.
“We nu wanna gu tu Howny Jaiw.”
Woodstock nods.
“Wite. Su, du fwuffies aww ag-wee dat dis wuz gud booksie?”
The other fluffies nod.
“Bwuebewwy wike it. An da booksie came wif stik-uws, dey am pwetty.”
Some of the stickers that came with Woodstock’s copy, showing the characters from the book in a pixellated artstyle, have been stuck on the walls of Woodstock’s saferoom. Obviously, Tommy did that for Woodstock. Pierre and Valerie did the same for their fluffies.
Seeing as the Brownie Palace’s earthen walls can’t have stickers stuck on them, the sticker sheet that came with Blueberry’s copy has just been propped up against one of those walls, for any member of the Fluffy Cartel to look at whenever they wish.
“Nikowa wan weed it again. Wuz fun booksie.”
“Miz Pak-Man nu can aw-gyu wif dat. Miz Pak-Man say dat Fwuffy Booksie Kwub weed it again. Tugeva, dis time.”
Woodstock nods.
“Dat am gud ai-dee-yuh. Howd awn.”
Woodstock gets up and waddles over to the open door.
There’s no fluffy-proof gate on this saferoom door, because Tommy hates the idea of trapping Woodstock in there. He trusts Woodstock not to run off, and so far, Woodstock hasn’t let him down.
Woodstock waddles all the way outside the cabin, to the veranda, where Tommy, Calvin, Marley, Victor and Scarface are currently sharing an atomica together.
Marley and Scarface are both trying as hard as they can to learn how to read, because they both want to join the Fluffy Book Club too.
Maria and Moonflower are currently in Pierre’s cabin with Judy, where Moonflower is playing with baby Quin.
Future Quin is watching his infant self play with Moonflower with a bittersweet expression on his face, because he knows what happened to the Fondas in his timeline.
Woodstock looks up at Tommy.
“Daddeh. Woodstock nee yu tu put a booksie in da pagie-tuwnew. Woodstock nu can du it, cuz Woodstock nu haf handsies.”
Tommy passes the atomica to Calvin and gets up.
“I’m on it, little dude. Val’s gotta find a way to solve that.”
Calvin, after taking a hit, passes it onto Victor, and gets up too.
“She’s in Pierre’s cabin, I’ll go ask her.”
As Calvin and Marley make their way to Pierre’s cabin, Tommy follows Woodstock back into the saferoom, and puts the book in the Flufftopia brand Bestest Book Friend page turner for fluffies.
It sells a lot more than you’d think. Most fluffies can’t read, but they still like looking at the pictures.
As the six fluffies gather around, and Woodstock starts reading the book out loud, Tommy decides to sit on the soft floor and watch them, a big warm smile on the hippie’s bearded face.
“Awe… yu stiww… pwayin… vid-yuh games? Mina… wubbed… vid-yuh games…”
Tommy mutters to himself.
“I gotta ask Suzy for one of those GameFluff gizmos.”